I Love Lucy
by Kootie Bomb
Summary: My name is Lucille. I don't like my name. Call me Lucy. Yes, this is an OC fic *new title*
1. Introduction

My name is Lucille. Lucille Von Schroeder Montgomery. I was named after my grandma. 'Lucille' is a very grandma-ish name, I think, so when I introduce myself to someone, I say 'Lucy'. Sounds better, right?

I'm 15 years old, one of the youngest in my class, as my birthday is December 2nd, making me a Sagittarius. According to astrology, that means I'm witty, energetic, free-spirited, and generous, but those are my good traits. My bad ones are tactless, exaggerating, irresponsible, and childlike (personally, I like being childlike). My mom is one of those people who do tealeaf readings, palm readings, and most importantly to both of us, star/astrological readings. Its cool, most of the time, but it gets annoying after a while. So, being raised by mom, I try to read people depending on their birthdays. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

I live in a small, tiny, itsy-bitsy mountain town in Colorado called South Park. Moved from Manhattan when I was seven. I live in a regular-sized house with Sally, my mom, Jim, my dad, Barbara, my little sister (who's nickname is Bugs, cause she doesn't like her full name either), and my golden retriever, Peppermint Patty (yes, named after the _Peanuts_ character). I play saxophone and piano. Dad never got to play an instrument, so he wants me to 'embrace' as many as I can. And right now, that's two. Maybe I'll go for trumpet lessons in the future.

I'm gonna tell you now – living in South Park is excellent (in my opinion). Something is happening _every day_. Like that time waaay back in like, fourth grade when the Internet was gone or the time when giant…guinea pig things attacked South Park. Or when Cartman created his own Church. That was funny.

There is always something going on in South Park. Always.

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**And that's the introduction chapter of my new South Park fanfic. If you don't like OCs then go away. **


	2. Good Morning, Lucille

6:00am

Get Up

6:05am

Take a shower

6:15am

Get out of shower

6:23am

Finishes blow-drying hair. Goes to closet.

…

Oh joy. The hard part.

I sigh as I pull open my closet and begin to sort through my clothes, looking for something suitable to wear. It was snowing, I had noticed between the time of getting up and taking a shower. So I chose a forest green shirt and those baggy black overalls – the ones with the silver chains on the legs Cousin Rachel gave me last Christmas.

Rolling my sleeves up to my elbows, I put on eyeliner, lip-gloss, and checked my multi-colored nails. Hey, I'm a girl, I have my needs. I tied my black hair in a high ponytail, my dyed lime green bangs pinned to the side with pink barrettes (first thing I found, they kinda clashed with everything else). I pulled on my sneakers, grabbed my jacket and green earmuffs and slid down the banister.

Mom and Bugs were all ready in the kitchen and my golden retriever, Peppermint Patty is wolfing down her dog chow. Mom is making coffee Dad, and tea for her – she has frizzy red hair and a thin face (I inherited the thin face, not the red hair). She's always dressing in long dresses, skirts, and robes, and then handmade shawls and ponchos with pretty patterns.

Bugs is sitting at the table, her blue eyes narrowed at her PSP screen. She's playing that thing constantly. She's what you would call a tomboy, I guess. Her brown hair is at her shoulders and she has her black beanie on, the one with the flames on it. She's wearing her red hoodie and black jeans and sneakers. Bugs, in a sense, is a brat.

I make my way across the kitchen towards Mom, flicking Bugs head in the process. I steal Dad's cup of coffee and take a gulp. Coffee burns the throat.

I give a small sigh of relief and I stop slouching. NOW I'm awake, man! I smile and give my Mom and one-armed hug, setting Dad's coffee back on the counter and bounce over to the table, plopping down across from Bug's, "Morning, little sister. Playing PSP, I see."

She grunted in reply and in comes his royal Dadness. I wave, "Morning daddy!" He nods to me, "Mornin', pumpkin." Bugs actually pauses her game to say good morning to Daddy. Well, that made me feel loved.

"Bugs, don't you gotta walk to school with Ike?" I say, trying to narrow down my snappish-ness to as small as possible. Ike Broflovski and Bugs are best friends, making Ike's bro, Kyle, friends with me.

Bugs perked at this and shut off her videogame, throwing it in her bag and kissing Mom and Dad good-bye, gave me a fleeting glance (again – I'm loved) and bounded out the door.

Mom glanced down at the tealeaves in her cup and smiled. I guess she was going to have a good day today. She looked up at me, "Are you taking the bus today, sweetie?"

I nodded as I grabbed an apple from the bowl in the middle of the table, "Uh huh."

Dad frowned a bit at the lack of coffee in his cup before saying, "Then you should get going, kid, bus should be at the stop soon."

I glanced at my watch and shrugged, taking another bite of my apple. I put on my jacket and earmuffs, "All right, I'm outa here. See ya!" I slung my tote bag over my shoulder, waved good-bye to my parents and skipped down the steps.

The cold air blasted my face so hard I almost fell backwards. I grunted and looked to my right and grinned when I saw Craig Tucker exiting his own home next to mine, flipping his parents off good-bye. I stuck my arm in the air, waving at him like a madman when he was only like, three feet away from me, "Mornin', boss!" I practically screamed. Yes, seeing Craig always makes me happy.

He paused at the end of the stoop, waiting for me to get over to him (flipping me off as he did), and we started the brief walk to school

I begin to talk, since Craig never likes to start a conversation, "So, did ya study for them quizzes we have today?" I'm skipping (slowly, so Craig's slow walk can keep up). My eyes are wandering a bit, looking at the snow covered trees.

Craig shrugged, "Meh. You took notes?" I nodded, taking out a black marble notebook that's labeled 'Craig's Crap'. I copy the notes from my notebook to that notebook during Study Hall and give it to Craig so he can study. Cause he's always falling asleep in class…

He starts to thumb through the notes on the quizzes we have in Algebra and Chemistry, and I ask, "Why don't you ever take notes, Craig?"

His reply: "Cuz I know your gonna take 'em for me." He didn't even look up from the notebook.

I sigh and laugh, "You inconsiderate bastard."

He glances at me with the finger and returns to the notebook, "Bitch."

I grin and we continue our way to school quietly.


	3. Those Are Your Friends, Lucille

Craig's birthday is March 29th, making him an Aries. And hell, is he ever. He's arrogant, impatient, impulsive, irritable, forceful, and very straightforward. Mom says Aries have strong, athletic, well-proportioned bodies, with thick dark hair. Craig does – he plays football and baseball, and his hair is jet-black and quite thick. They are thought to be compatible with Sagittarius', which is what I am if you've forgotten. That's probably why we're such good friends. Another trait Aries' have is 'leader-ship'. When I told Clyde this, he agreed because Craig supposedly is the leader of our little group.

And our little group consists of Craig, Clyde, Token, Tweek, and myself.

When Craig and I reached school grounds, we saw Tweek Tweak and only a few other kids and that's when we realized we were early.

Tweek is always early because it, apparently, is "ACK! TO MUCH PRESSURE" to be late.

Tweek was born August 13th, so he's a Cancer. I guess he is a bit of a Cancer – he's a loyal friend, at least _I _find him loving, and he is quite emotional. When Mom explained what some Cancers look like, that was spot on. Mom described Cancer's being average or below average height, having a slender small-boned body, and short legs. They have large eyes of green or blue (Tweek has green eyes), and a pale complexion. He's still a bit jittery and screams at random moments, but I, and everyone else who's known Tweek since we were kids, have gotten used to it.

I smiled, plopping next to him on the concrete bench he sat on, "Hiya Tweekie!" Craig, who was still scanning the notes I have him, nodded to him, "Hey, Tweekers." My nickname for Tweek was Tweekie and Craig's nickname for Tweek was Tweekers.

Seeing Craig as busy, Tweek started to talk to me, "H-hi Lucy." I nodded to the thermos clutched tightly in his long fingers, "Coffee?" He nodded shakily, "Uh," He took a large gulp, "Uh-huh. Helps me," He twitched, "concentrate."

I guess he was…sort of right. He can concenrate when he wants to. Or when his brain lets him.

"Hey, ho! Get over here!" I glanced up to see who Eric Cartman was addressing. His beady eyes were glaring at me. I smiled at him with difficulty – you don't know how hard it is to greet Cartman positivly. But its been my New Years Resoulution to be nice to everyone. Its been that ever since I've learned about New Years Resoulutions. I glanced at my two friends, "Be right back."

"Uh huh."

"Ok. AH!"

I walked towards the chubby boy. Cartman isn't so fat anymore, but is still considered the fatest kid in our class. His birthday is October 29th, making him a Scorpio. He is. He's intense, powerful, revengeful, and manipulitive. Mom describes Scorpios with firm bodies, dark, thick hair, and with magnetic, dark eyes that are round and often possess a brilliant shine. I look into Cartman's eyes and I realize they do have some sort of shine to them.

I wave, "Hi, Cartman. What?" His smile was evil, "You have the goods?"

I raised my eyebrows, "If you have the money."

He growled angrily and pulled out his wallet, shoving 40 bucks into my hand. Course, the stink bombs only cost 20, but its not like he knows that. I handed him the bag.

Cartman and I aren't really friends – more like partners in crime. We both love pranking more than anything else.

The brunette glanced into the bag and stuffed it in his backpack, "Great." He added grumpily, "Can't believe you still won't tell me where you get all this crap…"

I shrugged, "Well, start believing. May I ask what Wendy did to you?" Cartman practically roared, "CAUSE SHE'S A BITCH, WHADDYA THINK!?" With that, he stormed away, reading to pick Wendy's locker and stuff it with stink bombs.

I shrugged and noticed Clyde and Token had arrived when I had been talking with Cartman and I headed back to them.

Token's birthday is August 21st. He's creative, faithful, and generous. He's broad-minded and warm-hearted. He could only be a Leo. Apparently, Leos have trim, athletic legs, strong physical features, well-defined limbs and large, deep eyes. Leos also tend to have very soft skin and thick hair that shines in the sun, which I actually just noticed now that I think of it.

I smile, "Hi, Token, lovely hair." He shoots me a weird look before grinning and greeting me as well. I turned to Clyde, who was sitting on the grass, concentrating on his PSP game screen. My sister and one of my best friends are both videogames geeks, its so funny to watch them screaming at each other, arguing which game was better.

Clyde's birthday is November 24th, making him a fellow Sagittarius, but I think for different reasons. He's adventurous, restless, and indiscreet, but free-spirited like myself. Mom described Sagittarius men like so: The chest is often broad, the eyes large and the smile wide and the hair dark and heavy. He has brown hair, sorta shaggy and a bit longer than it was since we were kids. Since we're both Sagittarius, we're 'compatiable', as mom says.

And that is our lil' posse among all of the other groups in the school. One in a million, they'd say.

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This chapter wasn't as exciting, I guess, but I wanted to introduce some of the main-er characters in this story. Promise the next chapter will have exciting-er stuff. Thanks for being my first reviewer, you get a cookie

Hugs and kisses,

**K**B


	4. Its Chemistry, Lucille

First Class – Chemistry

My lab partner is Token, and lucky for me, he's a science dude. I, personally, am terrible at Chemistry. Everyday something happens – bottles explode, somebody gets caught on fire, papers turn into piles of ash…you get it. Once I came home with blue hair that took me like, four hours to get it turned back to black again. And I'm sure today will be no different.

After saying good-bye to Craig, Clyde, and Tweek (who were all heading to World History), Token and I headed for the chemistry lab.

We took slow, slow, slow, SLOW steps, the lab as a sort of danger zone for us. I laughed when Token took a dramatic gasp when we rounded a corner and the Lab came into view.

Ignoring the weird looks we got from passing students, we continued our slow pace to the Lab. Once inside, we headed to our usual lab table, in the middle of the room. Its marble white counter top could be hardly recognized under the layers of spilled chemicals. Kenny died on this table once, explaining a rather large blood splotch on the corner. There's even a few holes burnt into it. The ceiling above us is colorful because of the many failed concoctions that blew right onto the ceiling.

Token sighed, "God help the person who gets this lab table when we graduate."

I nodded, peering at the multi-colored ceiling, "Yeah. The ceiling might cave in on 'em."

Our teacher, Ms. Roth, some old lady with an ugly British accent and never got herself a man, looked up in horror at the sounds of our voices from the test papers she was signing. Token and I glanced skeptical looks at each other and rolled our eyes.

The classroom filled up and Ms. Roth stood from her desk, starting to explain the lesson as she passed out last weeks now graded exams. I glanced next to me, seeing a nice big green A been slapped in front of Token. I waited patiently for mine. She gave me a disgusted look as she shoved a big-ass red D- in my hands.

I looked up from my paper at a small snigger. I looked out of the corner of my eye and saw Cartman to my right, fiddling with a slingshot. I turned my head a bit to see better as Token set up the chemicals and crap.

Cartman reached into his bag and pulled out a tiny yellow missile-shaped…thing. My eyes widened. It was on of the stink bombs I gave him. He set it on the slingshot's band and took careful aim and who else but Wendy Testaburger.

I grabbed Token's arm, "Get ready to bail." I muttered. As Cartman released, I half-dragged Token across the lab, leapt over a few tables, and bolted out the door. Cartman was close on our tail, slamming the door shut after us and the three of us skidded around the hall. Cartman burst out laughing when Wendy shrieked, followed closely by more screams from the class. I rolled my eyes and Token slapped his forehead, "What _was _that?"

I moaned, "Super Stink Fart Bombs." I rounded on the still-laughing Cartman,

"You said you were gonna rig her locker with that crap, not throw it at her in the middle of Chemistry! What the hell is wrong with you? Don't you know that-"

We all jumped at a thunderous explosion and I grunted in annoyance and restarted my sentence, "Don't you know that Super Stink Fart Bombs have extremely dangerous chemicals in them?!"

Token grabbed my arm, pulling me back from pummeling Cartman (who was still quietly sniggering) into the ground, "You shouldn't have gave them to him in the first place, Luce, leave it!"

"_You_ supplied these…these…_things_ to Eric, Ms. Montgomery!?"

All three of us groaned at Ms. Roth's angry voice and we turned to see her and we all sucked in laughter. Her gray hair was scorched black, her spectacles were cracked, the hem of her Amish-looking skirt was singed, and on top of it all, when she's angry, she looks like a pig.

"TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE! ALL THREE OF YOU!"

……………………………………………………………………

And that's how I ended up sitting in one of the three chairs in the Principal's office, trying not to laugh as Principal Monica and Cartman screamed their guts out at each other.

It ended in something along the lines of plentiful cursing and the mention of being suspended. And to begin our suspension, we were all sent home.

…………………………………………………………………...

I opened the door to my house grumpily, stomping up the stairs. I opened my door and switched on my light and stopped dead in my tracks, my eyes widening.

Now, my walls are each painted a different color, as well as the ceiling. The ceiling is black with tiny little white polka-dots scattered around it. Not any more.

Written in large, multi-colored writing was,

'BUGS AND IKE WERE HERE. LUV YA!'

I'm pretty sure my scream cracked a window or two.

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**Howdy, people of earth. Liked that chapter? Not as much dialog as I hoped, but oh well. Next chapter I'm introducing the rest of "The Boys", Kyle shall be first, as his brother was involved in Bugs' little scheme as well. **

**Review, if you will,**

K**B**


	5. Its Your Little Sister, Lucille

I punched Kyle's number into my cell phone furiously as I paced across my room, glancing up at the message Bugs and Ike left me.

After a ring or two, I heard Kyle's voice,

"Luce? Where are you?"

"HOME, THAT'S WHERE! I WAS SUSPENDED, THANKS TO THE FATASS CARTMAN, AND WHEN I GET HOME - !"

I couldn't complete my sentence. I started a new one.

"YOUR BROTHER IS AN ASS!"

Kyle's voice came distant when we replied. I was guessing he dropped his phone or something.

"Lucy, stop screaming. Coach K will here you…"

I suppose he was in the locker room or something, outside Coach Kennedy's (Coach K) gym, which is what he had first period. In reply, I made a noise that sounded something like a dying cat's meow in utter anger. The wet paint was dripping on my floor.

"What did Ike do?"

"HE AND MY STUPID BITCH FOR A SISTER PAINTED MY CEILING!"

"Oh. Um…"

"GET YOUR DAYWALKER ASS OVER HERE!"

"But my mom will-"

"NOW."

"…fine. Give me a few minutes."

………………………………………………………

Kyle's birthday is the day before mine. He's hardly a Sagittarius when it comes to personality. The only traits I could think of would be intelligence (extreme intelligence, actually), and religious beliefs. Hell yes. He'd defend the rights of Jews with his life. Well, maybe not, but he gets pretty riled when Cartman starts up with the Jew Jokes.

We stood in my room (he had cut school), staring at the writing on the ceiling. Stupid brats.

Kyle is not, and hopefully never will be, a nerd. Sure, he's super smart, but he its not like he has pocket protectors, wears braces, and spends all of his time studying. If he were a nerd, he wouldn't have cut school for the sake of his friend (me). Or maybe he just came 'cause I was screaming.

He spoke,

"Why do you think they did it?"

"Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? _I don't know_."

He flinched and I sighed, "Sorry. Lets find the shrimps, shall we?" I, unsuccessfully, tried to not show my anger. I had painted this room myself and Bugs knew it. Ok, sure, I could just repaint it, but that's the thing with siblings – you always want revenge.

"Maybe they're at your place." I looked at Kyle, my arms crossing. He shook his head violently,

"No! Mom might be home and she'll bury me alive if she sees I've skipped."

I scowled at him, "_Fine_. I'll just wait 'till she gets home. I still have to worry about punching Cartman's face in anyways."

"What he do?"

"Got me an' Token suspended. Stupid fatass."

……………………………………………………………..

So Kyle had ended up staying for dinner and that's when Mom told us Bugs was at Ike's house, saying something about an art project. We looked at each other and excused ourselves from the table real quick and ran all the way to Kyle's house, without jackets, I might add, up to Kyle's room and Kyle practically fainted. Painted on his ceiling in colorful…colors was,

'SHEILA BROFLOVSKI IS A BIG BITCH'

"Like it?"

I turned (Kyle was busy counting all the ways his mom could kill him) to see Bugs and Ike holding each other up with laughter, each holding a paint-covered paint brush.

I groaned, falling on my butt in defeat, "How can such stupid, stupid little kids be such smart, smart-asses?"

Bugs came closer to me, "Ah, don't worry. Its not like Mom will believe that you painted your own ceiling. 'Cept Shelia might blow a gasket." She grinned at Ike, and looked back me, "Sorry, if you were looking for an apology."

"Go away."

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**I used this chapter to elaborate Bugs' character a bit. My friend, Stan, read my story and said he wanted to know more about Bugs, so this one is for you, Stanny Boi. I'm a little sister myself, and you have no idea how much fun it is tormenting my older sister. She doesn't think it's funny, though. **

**Cookies to whoever reviews (who doesn't like cookies?),**

K**B**


	6. I Love OCs This Isnt Part Of The Story

**Dear Readers and Reviewers,**

**I thank you very much for reading all the way up to chapter five. This is not a chapter, though, it's an offer:**

**If you want, I'm allowing other user's OCs to be in the story, if you want, because…well, because I'm a nice person. **

**So just review on this page with your OCs name, birthday, astrological sign, and what they look like and what they enjoy/hate. **

**You can just make them up on the spot if you want to, but it can also be an OC from one of your stories. **

**I love OCs,**

K**B**


	7. Your Friends Aren't All Boys, Lucille

"Lucy. Luce. _Lucy_. _LUCY!!!_"

I screamed in anger, sitting up in my bed, "_WHAT?!_"

I saw Bugs standing in my doorway, dressed in her black flame beanie, ripped blue jeans, and an orange/red zip-up hoodie. She raised her eyebrows at my loudness,

"Sorr-_ee_. Just get your butt up, your suspension ends today." My little sister strolled down the stairs, probably to the Broflovski's.

It took me a while to register what she said before cursing strongly and leaping towards the shower. After showering, brushing my teeth, and blow-drying my hair, I quickly ran to my closet and looked at my calendar. Today's theme – Playing Cards. I have a theme for everyday, and so far, I've never redone a theme. The day I was suspended the theme was Favorite Colors. Cool, huh? Yes it is.

I changed into a black and red striped beanie, matching elbow-gloves, a long white shirt with a joker card on it, black jeans with a red heart for a patch on the right knee and a black spade for a patch on the left knee. I tucked my bangs into my hat, since the greenness clashed with everything and I didn't have enough time to dye it back to black. I pulled on my jacket and ran downstairs, groaning, "MOM! Why didn't you wake me up earlier?!"

Mom, who sat at the table with Dad, looked up, watching me pour myself a cup of coffee, "I'm sorry, sweetie…why are you drinking coffee?"

"I don't _know_!!" With that, I raced out the door. I ran three straight blocks before somebody suddenly called my name,

"HEY! LUCY!"

I skidded to a stop and turned to see one of my very good friends, Kaysha Black, heading my way. She has shoulder length, layered, dark brown hair and pretty brown eyes. At the moment she's wearing blue skinny jeans, black boots, and a long black tee shirt, with millions of bracelets around both wrists, and trillions of necklaces around her neck. Her nails are painted multiple colors and, as usual, she has a different handbag then yesterday, the day before, the day before the day before yesterday…you get it. She has like, a whole closet for her bags.

I regained walking when she had caught up and I examined her face, "Hey, you like horrible!"

She shot me a glare, "Hi to you to."

I rolled my eyes, "No, I mean you look _tired_! Did you get any sleep at all?"

My brunette friend sighed and shrugged, "I was just in a bad mood. We had fish for dinner and you _know_ how much I hate fish! And I almost missed Family Guy! Almost."

"Almost?"

"Almost."

"Ah."

Kaysha never misses an episode of Family Guy, even if its reruns.

"So I didn't get enough sleep yesterday…"

I patted her back and offered her my untouched coffee, which she accepted, "Its Tuesday, right?"

"Yeah."

"We both have Drama first period with Kimmy and Cassandra on Tuesdays, get happy or you'll get me sad to."

Kaysha smirked at me and continued to drink my coffee as I continued to babble, "You love Drama, right? I mean, if you wanna be on the stage, or behind the camera, or directing the whole shebang, then you gotta practice!" I was determined to make Kaysha happy. Whenever someone is sad, I start getting all depressed as well. I broke into song, then. Singing makes people happy, right?

"What's that wonderful smell? Don't tell me; let me guess…smells like money dipped in honey, yes, the smell of success! Take a good whiff; take a good sniff, baby, you're long past due! Fame and fortune, fortune and fame, and now-"

Kaysha was laughing by now (and she also finished my coffee) when she interrupted my song, "Luce, shut up, I get it! C'mon, we're going to be even later if we don't move our butts!"

I grinned and we started to run.

…………………………………………………………

We got to school late, obviously, and missed homeroom, but managed to sneak into Drama class (humming the Mission Impossible theme song on the way) without Mrs. Hart realizing it, after putting or jackets and such away in our lockers (I kept my hat on to keep my green side bangs hidden. If you've forgotten, they clash with my outfit. Ha, I sound so girly.)

In the Drama room the desks are arranged in groups of four, and our friends, Cassandra Nightwish and Kimberly Shao, are the other two that fit in our Drama group.

Cassandra is one of the most likeable people you can meet. A Pisces forever, she's the whole package: artistic, compassionate, impressionable, and a bit gullible, but that doesn't matter. She has wavy brown hair, blue eyes, and around her neck forever is a Celtic cross necklace. She's wearing a navy short-sleeved shirt with a penguin on it and a black and blue striped long-sleeved shirt under it, and blue jeans and black boots. Hidden by her brown hair are iPod ear buds, and I noticed her iPod lighting up her pocket.

Kimberly (I call her Kimmy) is Ms. Taurus, as in, when I first met her; I automatically knew she was a Taurus. Kim has good taste in almost anything, trustworthy, and, like all four of us, musical. She's kind of stubborn sometimes, but we just think of it as 'boldness'. She has light brown skin , brown eyes and long curly dark brown hair that touches her waist, and, at the moment, she has on black pants, pink boats, and a black and pink striped tee shirt. She's mixed, like myself, only she basically killed America. Her mom is black, white, and Native American, while her dad is Chinese. Personally, I think Cartman has the hots for her. Don't tell her I said that.

I greeted them both, "Hey, my weirdo friends, whats crackin?"

Kimberly immediately acknowledged, "Well, first of all, you're late," Kaysha interrupted, "Thank you for noticing,"

"…And second of all, Cartman called me a Mulatto in front of the whole class."

I glanced over my shoulder and saw Cartman scribbling stuff down in his notebook. I was sure it wasn't notes, probably some plan for world destruction.

Cassandra's voice drew me back to the conversation (which Kaysha wasn't paying attention to, she was to engrossed in Mrs. Hart's speech), "Whats a Mulatto?"

"A racial slur for a mixed person, its very insulting cause it's Spanish for mule." Kimmy said. I sighed. She sounded miserable. Stupid Cartman.

I shook my head, "The fat bastard picks on us all. I still need to turn his face inside out for getting me suspended."

Maybe after school I will…

………………………………………………………..

I exited Drama, and blended into the throng of teenagers swarming the hallways. I walked on my toes, searching for someone to get me in a better mood.

Suddenly, somebody grabbed my hand and twirled me in a ballerina-like fashion and then pulled me into a dip. I looked up to see the ever-so-handsome face of Kenny McCormick.

Sir Slut's birthday is May 25th, making him the witty, upbeat, curious, and ever-so-charming Gemini he is. He is uncut blonde hair and gorgeous blue eyes, and he just gives that attractive vibe that makes the girls go at him. I get him a new parka for his birthday every year he grows out of his old one, and it, at his request, is always orange.

We stared at each other for a moment, his smug smile making me smile, before I whispered, "Hi Kenny."

"'lo, Lucy. How's my little fuck buddy today?"

He considers us fuck buddies 'cause he was my first kiss. It doesn't even make sense because, one, we didn't do it, and two; we've only kissed twice (the second on a dare at one of Bebe's many parties). But, living in South Park, nothing makes sense any more.

He pulled me out of the dip and we headed for World History, most boring class in the history of high school. I responded to his question, "Revengeful."

Kenny put his hands in his pockets, looking at me with a goofy smile, "Why so?"

I stared at him, frowning, "Did you even _notice_ my like, two week absence?"

The blonde pouted, "Of _course_ I did. Made me lonely." I snorted, flicking his head and he chuckled,

"Well, don't worry, you didn't miss anything. What did ya do during them two weeks?"

I shrugged, "Spent a lot of time with Token, my suspension chum. Mostly at the arcade, which was ours until three pm. I kicked his ass in Dance Dance Revolution."

"Skills."

"Don't I know it."

We entered the World History classroom and parted, he going to sit by Stan, and I sitting by my friend, Ivy Valmont. She's Cartman's cousin, and by instinct, you would run away when she told you this, but I would just drag you right back. She's a real sweetie, actually.

Being a Taurus, she's artistic and creative, and very dedicated…to anything she loves. She has pretty blue eyes, and long red straight hair with an electric blue streak going down the side of it. She also has side bangs like myself and always wears her favorite black headband. Right now she's wearing black pants, black fingerless gloves, and a red tee shirt.

"Hiya, Ivy!" I smiled and she glanced up at me and grinned, but returned to texting rapidly on her phone. I sat down and looked to see who she was texting. No big surprise – Kyle.

Ivy is a close friend with Kyle, actually, so she hangs out a lot with him, Stan, Kenny, and her cousin. She used to be a big-time tomboy, but she's softened slightly over the years. Slightly.

The redhead closed her phone after five minutes and glanced up at our teacher to make sure he wasn't looking at us, and then began talking quietly to me, "You going to Bebe's party Saturday?"

I shrugged, beginning to doodle on my notebook, "Probably. I'm supplying the sound system anyway, might as well stick around for the par-tay."

"Great. Where'd you get a sound system?"

"Same place I get stink bombs."

"Where would that be?"

"Not telling."

"Meanie."

"Yeppers."

We went on like that through World History, making small talk.

Maybe today will actually turn out to be cool. Unlike two weeks ago.

* * *

**ARGH! ITS ATTACK OF THE OCS! **

**Thanks so much for the amazing feedback, chichas! I love all of your OCs, they're soooo cool and really fun to write.**

**Kaysha Black: **Xx. Weird Messed Up Girl .xX

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Cassandra Nightwish: **dark child 1995

**Ivy Valmont: **Cartooncutie16

**I know, I know, I didn't use all of the OCs I got in my comments, but if I did, I think it would be a bit to much. So whoever's OCs I haven't used yet, they will be appearing shortly. **

**This story IS going somewhere,**

K**B**


	8. Cartman Is An Asshole, Lucille

I practically skipped out of World History. Ivy always puts me in a better mood. I took out my schedule to see I had P.E. next. I smiled brightly and ran to my locker to put away my World History books.

My locker at the corner of the hallway near the Maths classroom, which is lucky for me because the Maths textbook is seriously huge and weighs like a thousand pounds. I painted the locker door dark green, so it stands out against the other lime green lockers in that particular hallway.

I took off my right shoe and shook it a bit and a tiny silver key came out. I know a lot of people say your shoe is a bad place for a key, but screw that it's fine for me. I unlocked my locker and opened it up.

My locker is covered with pictures of friends, celebrities, and then a bunch of little knick-knacks I've collected over the years. On the top shelf I have this small Chinese lantern thingie that's really pretty and gives my locker a nice red glow. Then I have a box filled with hairbrushes, nail polish, bracelets and necklaces, and an extra pair of clothes next to the lantern. On the bottom I have stacks of books, and then on top of one of the stacks is a boombox. Then I have a little hook in the back for my coat.

I loaded my World History book into it, trading it for my gym shoes (my gym locker is so damn small), when I felt a tap on my shoulder and I turned to see Serafina, my best friend who's a girl. She prefers Sera, or to closer friends, Fifi. She went to Bermuda for like, two weeks and a half, and I've been deprived or the excitement of her hyperness.

We did the whole girly jumpy-squealing-screaming thingie and I hugged her, "Aw man, you can't leave me here like that ever again! School has been hell without you!"

"Word around was that you were suspended the whole time I was away!"

I sniffed, crossing my arms, "I still had half a week without you. It was the fatass's fault anyway."

Sera is an Aries with dark brown, wiry hair, which is layered and about chin length when brushed, with platinum highlights and side bangs (also partially bleached) that nearly cover her left eye. Both plain brown eyes look seriously huge, considering the ridiculous amount of eyeliner she wears. She's loud, outgoing, self-confident, enthusiastic and initiative. However, she's also extremely impatient and stubborn, with a talent for manipulation (That reminds me of Cartman, a bit. Ha.)

She's in her gym clothes now and I realized I was late – Coach K must've sent her out to look for me. So we raced to the locker rooms, I changed quickly, and we jogged out to the gym, where Coach K was already going over the rules for kickball (like we don't already know).

And the fatass strikes again. Why do I have so many classes with him anyway!? He kicked the kickball right in Sera's nose, and then it bounced off and slammed into Tweek's head. Damn. All that fat must make him strong.

So Coach K sent me with my two pained friends to go to the nurse's office, and, by then, I was at breaking point. Cartman was slowly, evilly ruining my winter. And then it will be spring, then summer, than fall. He's destroying my friends. I'm ending this.

I looked up to see Sera, still holding her bleeding nose, and Tweek, who had a hand over the bruise on his forehead, leaning away from me, looking terrified. I was saying that out loud?

…………………………………………………

I walked around Stark's Pond after school with my golden retriever, Peppermint Patty. She raced back and forth, dragging me along, but I hardly noticed. I wasn't kidding when I said I was going to (attempt) to stop Cartman and his evilness. So I was planning my revenge, ever so carefully.

"Hey, Lucy!"

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard loud barking and Peppermint Patty pulled me towards a familiar gray and white Siberian Husky, and its familiar owner.

I smiled, "Oh, hey, Kimmy, what're you doing here?"

"What, is it illegal to walk in parks now? Nah, Mimi needed to talk a stretch." Kimberly grinned, "Same with Peppermint P?"

"Yeah. But I needed to think a bit to. About Cartman."

"Ew."

"Not like _that_, dude! Gross!"

Kimberly Shao is one of the only people I know who shares the same level of torment from Cartman as I do. Kyle is probably the only one who ranks above us.

"Then what are you thinking about?" We let Mimi and Peppermint Patty off leash.

"What angle I should kick him in his goddamn balls."

There was a moment of silence as we watched our dogs skid across the frozen lake, yelping in fright, but barking in excitement. My mixed friend spoke.

"Cool."

…………………………………………………

Later, around 9pm, Cassandra called me.

"Hey, Lucy, you have the music ready for Bebe's party?"

"Duh."

"What kind?"

I frowned. She sounded worried.

"The usual, you know?"

"As in…non-classical?"

I sat up in alarm, my math homework flying off my lap in alarm.

"_WHAT_?!"

"Jeez, woman, stop screamin'! Apparently, a lot of people misunderstood Bebe. This is gonna be _formal_."

"Formal as in dress gowns and chandeliers formal? Formal as in classical music and slow dancing formal?"

"Uh huh?"

"Damn. Who the hell has any slow dancing music anymore?!"

"I don't know!"

"Wow, _helpful_."

"Get a grip. Kimberly, Ivy, Ava, Sera, and me are going dress shopping tomorrow in Denver Mall. You coming?"

"Yeah…yeah. I guess I'll have to. None of my dresses are formal. We'll have to stop by the music store, then."

"Fine. See ya."

"Bye."

SPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSP

**Heehee. Lucy's life isn't so glamorous at the moment, eh? Oh, don't worry, things will be better in the end.**

**Kaysha Black: **Xx. Weird Messed Up Girl .xX

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Cassandra Nightwish: **dark child 1995

**Ivy Valmont: **Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera": **nao. xx

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**Ava hasn't made an appearance yet, but she was mentioned in Cassandra and Lucy's phone conversation. She'll be in the shopping trip, obviously. I'm taking down the "ad" for OCs soon, so if you have one, show it. But they won't have a big part in the for the late update (some people might not consider it late, but I do),**

K**B**


	9. Shopping Equals Love, Lucille

I dug through my closet in determination, trying to find a goddamn skirt. Clothes littered my usually sort-of-clean room. Old, forgotten toys were thrown in random places.

I poked my head out of my closet when I heard I yawn and a small knock. Bugs stood at the doorway, again, rubbing her eyes with her right hand, her left hugging her teddy bear to her stomach.

My little sister yawned and mumbled loud enough for me to hear, "What're y' doin'?" She blinked, trying to get the sleep out of her eyes, "It's like…" She looked at my clock, "Five fifty in the morning."

I returned to turning my closet inside out, but I answered her, "I'm going shopping."

I had woken up and five o' clock and had spent fifty minutes trying to find a reasonable outfit that would go with today's theme, but seem Denver-Mall-worthy as well.

I glanced back out of my closet to see her nod and shuffle away, back to her room. I sighed and turned around and my eyes brightened. I finally found the black skirt I was looking for! It was right behind me, how the hell did I miss it? Oh, whatever.

I picked up the skirt, the orange and black striped leggings, the orange tee shirt that said 'Chica' in black letters, and the black arm warmers. Today's theme is Tiger. Or Garfield. Or maybe Halloween. Or whatever associates with the colors orange and black. I hung up the clothes on the hook on my bathroom and started to put my clothes away. Once I was finished, I went into the shower.

If you haven't figured it out all ready, shopping is a big deal in South Park. Well, to the boys…they don't give two shits…but for us _girls_, shopping is huge.

Since there isn't a mall in South Park, we use the whole morning and school day to plan our day in Denver Mall. We have to take a bus there, and I always have scary adventures on busses.

My usual shopping crew is Kimberly, Ivy, Ava, Sera, and Cassandra. If they're not available, I go with Wendy, Bebe, Heidi, Red, and Sally, but that's rare. Wendy and those girls _are_ what I can consider friends, but not best friends.

I washed the green dye out of my bangs in the shower, and then dyed them orange, to go with my outfit. I dried my hair and changed into my clothes and looked at the clock. 6:30am. I have time. I hopped down the stairs, zooming into the kitchen. I guess Bugs fell back asleep, and Mom and Dad aren't awake yet.

I prepared a nice stack of waffles, strawberries, and a glass of milk – something that would take me a good twenty minutes to eat. This morning was turning out all right.

…………………………………………………………

I finished breakfast at 6:50am, giving me ten minutes to get to school. Bugs and my parents had finally come downstairs. I opened my messenger bag, checking if I had everything. Homework…Breaking Dawn from the Twilight series…map of Denver Mall…pencil case… "Ok, all set. Bye, Mom, Dad…Bugs." I waved good-bye and pulled on my jacket and orange earmuffs and headed outside.

"Hey, Lucy!"

Clyde, who lives across the street, was heading towards me and we started to walk to school.

The brown-haired boy looked at my skirt, "Whats the occasion?" I wasn't sure if Clyde was actually interested or was just looking at my legs. That's the thing with Clyde – I can never tell if he's being a friend or a pervert.

I stepped around a pile of snow to avoid ruining my black Uggs, "I'm going to Denver. Shopping, for Bebe's party on Saturday. You coming?"

He nodded, "Yep."

"Did you know it's formal?"

He nodded again, "Yep."

"Damn. I was hoping Cassandra was kidding."

"Yeah, I just found out yesterday, courtesy of…whatshername…Sally Turner. So a few guys and me are going to Denver to, to rent some tuxedos. Maybe we'll see you there. Who're you going with?"

"Kimberly, Ivy, Ava, Sera, and Cassandra. Wendy, Bebe, Heidi, Red, and Sally are probably going to, but we're not going to be shopping with them. You?"

"The one's I can name Craig, Token, Tweek, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman. Then a few other guys I don't even know are riding up with us on the bus."

So we made plans to meet up at the candy store, and then we linked arms and started singing 'I Want Candy' all the way to school.

Yeah. Clyde's a cool friend.

……………………………………………….

I walked into homeroom, looking around. Clyde went to go talk to Craig about last nights Red Racer (I can't believe they still watch that show), Tweek's absent, and Token isn't in my homeroom. So I turned to the girl population of the school and smiled to find my shopping buddy, Avarice 'Ava' Cullen, reading at her desk.

Short, pale skin, freckles across her nose, deep curly red hair...quite the Taurus. Rather menacing despite her short stature but is a chronic people pleaser and can't ever be rude to anyone...except Cartman. Wears heavy black eye make-up and delights in verbally fighting with Cartman. She has a rather…odd sense of humor, but I got used to it a week after being friends with her. Like myself, she gets angry when people make fun of her name. She's a smartie pants, good in everything, 'cept Maths and Science.

"Helllooooo AVA_RICE_!"

She gave a screech of surprise, almost falling out of her chair. She glared up at me, but her frown morphed quickly into a grin, "Hey, _Lucille_."

That wiped the smirk off my face…

I plopped down next to her, "You must remember the last time a certain person called me Lucille."

"Yes I do."

"Do you remember who did it?"

"…Cartman."

"What did I do to him?"

"You almost killed him with a stick of butter."

"So shut up."

We stayed silent for a moment before breaking out into a fit of laughter.

……………………………………………………………

I pointed to a series of red circles, "So, we decided Red is first. Then Blue, then Green, then Purple, then Black. And finally, Yellow."

My shopping crew nodded. We were ready. During school, we traveled the halls with maps of Denver Mall in front of our faces (Kimberly ran into an open locker door), each with a different colored sharpie to mark which shops we wanted to go to. Some of the shops had different colored circles. We each had a Key on the back of our maps:

**Red – Kimberly**

**Blue – Ava**

**Green – Ivy**

**Purple – Sera**

**Black – Cassandra**

**Yellow – Lucy **

**Multi-Colored – All of Us, no matter what**

We would take a break between Purple and Black (Sera and Cassandra), to go to the food court. After Multi-Colored (All of Us, no matter what), I would break off and go to the candy store to meet up with Clyde. My friends would spend that time wandering. Then in an hour, we'd meet at the bus stop. Nothing could go wrong.

Kimberly was first, so she marched us into the Boutique, and that's where we spent out first hour.

We marched out with Kimberly hugging a bag that had a long purple halter dress with ruffles at the bottom, with matching shoes, of course. We went to her pick of jewelry store, and she bought very pretty diamond earring studs, and a matching set of silver necklaces and bracelets. That took a half of an hour.

Blue – Ava – Second.

"My mom said it has to be real formal…she gave me _pictures_ of the sort of dress she wants me to buy!"

So she took a shorter time at the dress shop. When we walked out, she had a bag with a black, long-sleeved, off-shoulder dress that hung down to her feet.

But she took FOREVER in the jewelry store. Her fight was that if she couldn't choose what dress she wanted, she gets to choose her jewelry. Ivy had also chosen the same jewelry store, so that was some sort of relief. Ava had chosen a set of crystal jewelry to go with her black dress, Ivy choosing typical white.

Ivy, being green, was next and she took for-_freaking_-EVER. We had to go to THREE different stores before we could find a black, sleeveless dress that reached her knees, which had a red waist band with a rose on the side. Thankfully, her hunt for shoes didn't take to long – simple black flats did the trick.

Around the Purple Area is where we started to get hungry, but Sera wouldn't let us stop for one second. She took her time (two hours and forty-five minutes, to be exact) to drag us in and out of each purple-circled store on the map. Damn that incredible woman…she ended buying this real pretty dress, though. It's one of them dior black thingamajigs. It's a deep, dark midnight black, and it kinda looks like a cocktail dress, so it reached her knees, about…it has a small pink ribbon around the waist. The store she got her dress at was also a jewelry store, so she bought silvery-pinky colored jewelry to match.

Kimberly quickly hollered as soon as we exited the store, "FOOD COURT!"

We practically ran there (we had to stop a few times cause Ivy kept dropping her bags) and pushed two tables to connect and pulled up seats. I scribbled down everyone's orders on a piece of paper and headed for the line.

There was a sudden scream, so I looked in front of the guy in front of me and grinned to see Tweek, shaking violently, mumbling about not remembering something…

I cut in front of the dude in front of me, and poked Tweek's neck, "Hey, Tweek!"

Bad move.

The blond shrieked in surprise, falling backwards, falling into me, and a sort of domino effect caused, everyone behind me falling backwards. I grabbed Tweek and elbowed our way to the front of the line, trying to make it look like we didn't do it.

Once we got several trays of food each, I muttered to Tweek, "If the guys ask, you didn't do it." Tweek nodded shakily and we went back to our respective groups.

………………………………………..

Cassandra and I (Black and Yellow), had chosen the same stores to buy our dresses and jewelry at, so it took shorter.

Cass got this long, real elegant, black, sparkly, strapless evening gown with a shiny set of black jewelry. Her shoes were simple black high heels.

As for me, I got this pretty, strapless black dress with yellow polka dots and this big-ass yellow ribbon around the waist, the large bow on my side. I settled for black flats with yellow ribbons, 'cause I don't need to be any taller.

After buying snacks, I looked at my watch, "Damn…I'm late."

Ivy groaned, "How? We had a schedule…"

Kimberly shot her a glare, "Only because you took so long buying your damn dress!" As the two bickered, my other friends trying to prevent a catfight, I ran towards the Candy Stall (its not actually a stall…it's a shop.).

I grinned at Clyde…and Tweek, who had accompanied him (he keeps appearing in random PLACES! WTF). They stood outside of the stall, holding their own packages and purchases.

Clyde peeked at me over my own boxes, bags, and such (what, you think we only went to dress stores?), "Tired?"

"Fuck you, Clyde."

Tweek shrieked as Clyde snickered and guided us into the candy store.

This place is heaven for those with a sweet tooth (Clyde, Tweek, and I) and still hold onto their childhood. Have you ever seen _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_ (the old version)? Well, it's like the candy store in the beginning of the movie, only way bigger and a bit more modern.

And my purchases only became so much heavier.

We ended up licking lollipops while dancing to 'Candy Girl' by the Archies. Well, Tweek stayed to the side…

While Clyde and I unskillfully tangoed, I noticed the most frightening thing known to mankind. Not really. It was frighteningly surprising to South-Park-kind, at least.

Something is wrong with Tweek.

Now, when you saying, "Something was wrong with _______" you think they'd be spazzing out or something. No. That's what Tweek is usually supposed to do.

Right now, my blond friend _**ISN'T MOVING**_.

He's not dead, I'm sure of that, 'cause he's still drinking coffee, but he's not twitching, screaming, or doing something Tweek-like.

I stopped mid-tango and poked Clyde's forehead, "DUDE! Tweek's being obsessed by an evil spirit thing that's making him stand still, DAMNIT!"

Clyde gave me a look, "Shut up, woman! C'mon…" We moon-walked (took real long jumps) towards Tweek and I set my hands on his shoulders, shaking him a bit, "Tweek!? What the hell is wrong with you!?"

He stared at me, his green eyes blank. I got lost in the deepness of them…I didn't notice Clyde poking my shoulder. Suddenly, Tweek snapped out of it and screamed and started shaking. Clyde breathed a sigh of relief and I pulled back, smiling a bit, "Ok, lets get outta here. All this candy is making us crazy…well, more crazy then we all ready are."

* * *

**I'm a horrible, horrible person. I haven't updated in a week. I'm not going to lie, like other people would...I've been a lazy bum. Thats the only reason I haven't updated. Forgive me. I hope you haven't lost interest in my story, because I think I have. Reviews will make me happy, all of you lovely people.**

**Anyway...**

**I wish Clyde and Tweek were my best friends. They would be so cool. And then my shopping buddies would be the OCs in this story. That would be so cool. **

**And whats wrong with Tweek? AH! **

**Kaysha Black: **Xx. Weird Messed Up Girl .xX

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Cassandra Nightwish: **dark child 1995

**Ivy Valmont: **Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera": **nao. xx

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**The people above are my best cyber friends EVER. You all are sooo cool, as well as your OCs. And to my BCFs (best cyber friends), who shall your OCs' date to Bebe's party be? Please help me out...cause I know you'd get angry at me if I put you with some character you hate...you better put two opitions for your OCs date, cuz we don't want the same dude bringing two ladies to a party...I just know someone will choose the one Lucy is gonna be asked by. **

**You lovely, lovely reviewers get to have a hug from Clyde,**

**KB**


	10. Dates Are Gay, Lucille

"Pip? The French kid?" I questioned Sera. We sat on the bus, she eating a banana and I finishing my homework.

Sera groaned, "He's not French! He's _British!_" I looked at her before rolling my eyes and scribbled down a half-assed conclusion for my World History essay,

"Keep telling yourself that, kid…"

Apparently, that Frenchie, Pip, had asked Sera out to Bebe's party Saturday, complete with a pretty little daisy. Pip, I believe, is one of those guys who are well mannered and treats a girl nice. So Sera is lucky, I suppose, but Pip ain't so popular, so she might get a bit of berating from Cartman.

"When did he ask you?"

My friend sighed dreamily, "When we came home from shopping I went to a walk in Stark's Pond, and he was there, so we started talking, then he picked this from the ground," She pointed to the daisy proudly tucked in her hair, "And asked me to Bebe's party!"

I chuckled, "Aw, that's adorable…" She sighed a dreamy sigh once more and stared out the window, not having any interest in reality anymore. I shrugged and looked around the bus and spotted Craig, alone, listening to his iPod. I leapt out of my seat, darting towards the open seat and plopped down into it,

"HI CRAIG!"

He jumped, dropping his iPod, cursing. I picked it up, wiping off the screen with my thumb and handing it back to him, "Jeez, Craig, bit jumpy this morning, huh?"

Speaking of this morning, I got up late. Again. That's Today's theme – Snow Day. So I was decked out in white. A white turtleneck with a gray snowflake on it, a white skirt, white boots, and my bangs dyed white…not old-person-white, like real-real-real-white-color-white.

Craig chucked his iPod into his bag and looked at me, "What're you doing here?"

I paused before shrugging, "Evolution, I guess."

He thumped me on the head and snapped, "Weren't you sitting with Sera?" I rubbed my head,

"Oh, thanks, Craig."

"Shut up."

"Right. Anyway, Sera got asked to go to Bebe's party, courtesy of Pip-"

"The French dude?"

"Yeah."

"Oh. Continue."

"Then she told me the story of how he asked her, and then she got all day dreamy and started to stare out the window. And then I came here and you dropped your iPod, I picked it up and wiped the screen and handed it back to you and then asked me what I was doing here, then I said 'Evolution', then you thumped me, then you asked me if I was sitting with Sera-"

"Shut. Up. You. Bitch."

"Right-o."

We settled into the seats and both listened to Craig's iPod the rest of the way to school.

…………………………………………………………….

I skipped through the school hallways, dragging Craig along cheerfully, singing _We're Going To Be Friends _by the White Stripes, ignoring Craig's comments on the fact that we're already friends.

"Fall is here, hear the yell, back to school, ring the bell. Brand new shoes, walking blues, climb the fence, book and pens…I can tell that we are gonna be friends! Walk with me, Craig-y, please, through the park, and by the tree. We will rest upon the ground and look at all the bugs we've found, safely walk to school without a sound!"

Craig looked annoyed whenever I looked over my shoulder at him. But I saw him smiling when I turned away. Then I saw him looking around…at first I thought he was trying to find a way to escape from me, but it looked like he was looking for something. I flung him against a locker, "YOU KNOW SOMETHING I DON'T KNOW!"

He stared at me quietly, frowning, before raising an eyebrow, "What?"

"I _will_ find out what your hiding, _Tucker_! I WILL, DAMNIT!"

I stomped away. Man…Token was right when he told me I have anger issues.

Kaysha, who had been absent for numero dos (that means two for those who are _unskilled_ in Spanish) days 'cause of the flu or somethin, stood at her locker, loading books into her bag. I smiled and walked over to her, "Kaysha! You're back from the dead! How was hell?"

Kaysha shot an angry grin at me (is that even possible? It is for Kaysha), "What makes you think I went to hell?"

I raised a finger in a matter-of-fact way, "You threw that piece of baloney at me three days ago. That's a sin and sins make you go to hell."

My brunette friend chuckled, "How true. What's up, Lucy?"

I shrugged, "Oh, nothing much. Trying to figure out what Craig and those guys are hiding from me. I know they are."

"Uh huh…sounds…interesting."

"Not really. Did you buy a dress for Bebe's party?"

"Yeah I did. Sorry I couldn't go with you guys yesterday, though, I was sick. And I already bought a dress a long time ago. It's a navy evening gown with elbow-length fishnet gloves."

"Sounds pretty! Listen, we're all going to my place before the party to get dressed and then my dad's taking us to where Bebe's having her party, the Plaza, it only takes half an hour. And we have a DVD player in our car, so that's good. And Mom is making Bugs clean the car 'cause she's still in trouble for painting my ceiling." I could feel my smile falter at the memory.

The brunette chuckled, "Great! Hey, we gotta go to homeroom…but I'll see you in P.E." We said our good-byes and departed.

……………………………………………

"BAM!"

I laughed as Kaysha leapt into the air and slammed the volleyball over the net, knocking Butters clear off his feet.

We were having two-on-two volleyball games in P.E. today, Coach K splitting the class up in pairs. Kaysha and I are a team; Butters and Pip are the opposing team. We had to get as much points as possible in three minutes.

Sera, being the lovesick girl she is, was trying to support both teams. If I were Stan I would be pinching the bridge of my nose and saying 'Jesus Christ' over and over again. Eh, I'm to happy.

Kaysha and I both fell on our butts, laughing loudly, as Coach K blew his whistle, signaling the end of three minutes. I guess it wasn't really a fair game since neither Pip nor Butters are very…athletic (Pip is only good in dodgeball…Butters is just not physical at all), but Kaysha and I – still victorious! HA!

I fist-bumped my friend, "Dude, that was so awesome! You got like, a billion feet of air that last time!"

Kaysha, grinning, got to her feet and helped me up as well, "Easy. But it was sweet when I _accidentally_ tripped you – sorry about that – and you fell over and then you spiked it with your feet and everything! Sweetness!"

Still laughing, we made our way towards the bleachers, where everyone else was sitting. We had to hold on to each other's shoulders to keep standing, we were giggling to hard. Lovely time to get the giggles, huh?

After a minute of chatting, Kaysha had to go to the bathroom. I watched Wendy and Bebe verse Stan and Kyle, taking gulps from my water bottle, when I noticed something next to me that wasn't there like, two seconds ago, and it kinda scared me so I…er…accidentally spit water out on the back of someone's head. I quickly shifted over before they could turn around to see who did it. Then I turned to the person who mysteriously appeared beside me.

I felt a shiver of fear go down my spine when I turned to stare into deep, blood red eyes with a gleam that had a hate for everything. But I regained my composure. It happens every time I look at Damien.

Now, I don't think Damien actually has a birthday…him being from hell and everything…but he is Capricorn kind of guy. Ya know, all serious, hard working, and such. He's tall, I guess, taller than most…black hair and BLOOD RED CREEPY-ASS EYES. But you get used to it.

I hang out with Damien on weekends sometimes when I got nothing to do. Or when I see him walking down the street I randomly start walking with him. Its weird though, seeing him approach me.

I smiled (not to bright – he says it hurts his eyes), "Hey Damien! Lovely day."

He stared at me, "Horrid. But I need you to do me a favor…" I turned towards him completely, propping my legs on the bench, putting my water bottle down,

"Sure, Damien, what do you need?"

He hesitated before beginning slowly, "You know Ava…Ava Cullen, right?"

"Obviously."

"Well, tell her I want to go to Bebe's party with her."

I would've laughed if it were someone other than Damien. It sounded more like a demand than a question.

I smiled, patting my friend's back, "Alright, I'll tell her next period."

--

"_Damien_? Damien…as in _Damien_?"

I rolled my eyes at Ava, "_No_, Damien as in Potato. Seriously, do we know any other Damiens?"

I watched Ava stare at her desk curiously and she smiled, "Ok, I think this is good! I get a date I actually like! This is _really_ good! And I even have next period with him! YES!" I glared at the people who turned around to give us weird looks and then back at Ava,

"Great! There's my good deed of this day…hooking two people up to go to a party! Now I just gotta find my own date and I'm all set…"

Ava tapped her chin curiously, "What about Craig? Your always hanging out with him and everything."

I glared at her, "Ew no."

"Clyde?"

"Taking Sally Turner. Thing is, he can't remember her name all the time..."

"Token?"

"Already taking Red."

"Ok…then I give up."

I glanced at the clock, "Well, thanks for whatever help you gave me. I think. I got Study Hall next with my…'fuck buddy'…I'll ask Kenny if he knows some people who are still open for dating."

……………………………

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

Kenny and I have been going on like this for about 10 minutes now.

"Please?"

"NO! Kenny, why the hell don't you ask Kimberly Bebe's party yourself?!"

Kenny pouted/smiled at me, "Aw, but its soooo much fun annoying you like this, hun, your pretty when your angry!"

"And when I'm not angry I'm ugly? Oh thanks Kenny."

Kenny gasped, "I don't mean it like that! Your beautiful when you're happy, excited, sad, calm, pleased, hyper-"

"Kenny, I get it. I'll ask Kimberly for you…she just better say yes."

"Okie dokie!"

He went away, finally, (naw, Kenny's a good guy) and, almost by magic, Kimberly took his seat. I gave a small growl. I'd never be able to copy notes into the 'Craig's Crap' notebook if people DON'T STOP BOTHERING ME.

She started babbling about what she just heard from Bebe who heard it from Wendy who heard it from Sally who heard it from Red who heard it from Annie who heard it from her brother, who heard it from a hobo, so I spoke over her,

"Go to the dance with Kenny."

"-but then the hobo said it was the lie that caused – what!?"

I swear I almost cracked the pen in half, "Go. To. The. Dance. With. Kenny. McCormick…please?" Just everyone leave me alone! Craig will bury me alive if I don't. Probably. I just like getting things done.

Kimberly bounced in her seat anxiously for a moment, thinking about the cons and pros of dating Kenneth McCormick before jumping up, "All right! Thanks Lucy!" She went off to find my blonde haired friend. I sighed in somewhat relief and went back to copying Craig's notes down in the notebook…thank God…

5 minutes later…

"AHHHH!"

Everyone fell silent and stared at me. I had my hands clapped over my ears, eyes shut in frustration. Kenny, who had been talking excitingly with Kimberly, reached over and patted my back, using his other hand to wave back the other people, "She's ok…she's just…having a break down." He hissed to me, the kind one, "Jeez, bud, calm your damn ass. You're way to high strung."

I glared at him and took out my cell phone (the interruption that had caused me to scream angrily). It was AIM that had made the little ringing noise. It's Ivy:

**XXPoison_IvyXx: **_hey homeskillit! i'm so excited!!!_

A few little happy smiley face thingies followed the message. I sighed and tapped back my reply,

**xxInTheSkyWitDiamondsxx: **_what it do chica?_

**XXPoison_IvyXx: **_Twizzler head just asked me to bebe's party!!!_

More smiley faces followed. It's so funny how Ivy and I have our little AIM nicknames for everyone, strictly used only on AIM. Twizzler head happens to be Kyle, because of his red hair.

**xxInTheSkyWitDiamondsxx: **_srsly?! Awesome, ivy, ur so lucky, kyle's a great guy and ur best friend_

**XXPoison_IvyXx: **_I noe! AHHH! I'M SO HAPPY!_

She signed off after that.

…………………………

I took out a candy cigarette as I made my way behind the school during lunch. Christophe, also known as the Mole, seems in a better mood whenever I have one hanging out of my mouth. He knows it's not real, obviously, but he seems to like my attempt to try.

When I asked him when his birthday was he cursed me out, saying something along the lines of, "birthdays are for God-worshiping beetches"…Anyway, he was messy brown hair, and he usually has a blue sash tied around his forehead, over his bangs, to hold them there so they don't go all over the place while he's on one of his little digging adventures.

I stopped short when I saw him smiling – not his usual I'm-The-Mole-Don't-Mess smile/smirk, but a true, caring, I'm-Christophe-I-Won't-Kill-You-Today smile. I smiled a bit when I saw him chatting as casual as he could to Cassandra Nightwish. Lucky gal. Christophe sure is a looker…

As soon as she rounded the corner I was hiding behind, I grabbed her arm, "Cass! You were talking to Chris!?"

She turned bright red, gapping at me a bit, "You were _eavesdropping_, Lucy!? How low is that?"

"Very. That's exactly why I wasn't doing it! I was just _watching…_what did he want?"

Cassandra glared, "I'm not telling!" I shook her shoulders, "Pleeassseeee!"

"_Fine_. Since you were _eavesdropping-_"

"_Watching_-"

"-I might as well tell you. Christophe is taking me to Bebe's party."

I leaned against my friends shoulder, both of us in a comfortable silence, both of us absorbing this information. Christophe is odd, he is. Unsociable is probably the best word. Weird guy, I sometimes talked to him when I had stolen a pack of candy cigarettes from my sister. Today I had, so I thought I might as well. But Cassandra here beat me to it.

I was the one to break the silence.

"Good thing he asked you…I thought he was a Skittle for sure."

In my lingo, calling someone a Skittle is calling someone gay. But I don't 'gay'. I use 'Skittle'.

Cassandra laughed at me and patted my back, "Don't tell anyone or Christophe is gonna get mad, kay? See ya, Luce." I saluted good-bye, skipping off, certainly in a better mood – gossip gets me in a better mood all the time. Like a lot of girls, I feed off it…you know, I would totally be writing LOL if I were online.

I ended up sitting next to Kaysha for the rest of lunch. We're one of the few girls left who don't have dates for Bebe's party. Sucks balls already that everyone is making a big deal over this, says Kaysha.

"It sucks ball that everyone is making a big deal over this!" Kaysha grunted. Told ya she said so.

I sighed, my arm linked with hers, "Yeah…totally."

We sat like that for a moment, in silence, Kaysha frowning deeply. Well…something, or someone, is bothering her. I took a deep breath and asked a question that could reflect n my survival in this life,

"Who did you wanna go with?"

Kaysha groaned loudly, practically sliding out of the bench we sat on, "You to? Ugh, I hate this." She starting ranting about how girls are dominant creatures or whatever and I sighed, trying to tune her out. Kaysha's cool – real cool – but when she starts ranting, you want to stuff your ears with carrots and stick your head in the ground. Okay, maybe not. But whatever.

I scanned the lunchroom, frowning in slight disgust. Everything – out of order and completely FUCKED. UP. Nobody's sitting with the right people, their friends, people are mixed up according to whomever they were going to Bebe's party with. Bebe is a really awesome friend, very bubbly and up-to-date with everything, but these parties of hers cause damn havoc.

I noticed something else, though. Tweek sat by himself, in a corner table, drinking coffee from his travel thermos, as usual. But…again, he wasn't shaking…twitching…screaming…trembling…nothing. I poked Kaysha's shoulder, "Be right back." I don't think she noticed my presence leaving her anyway.

I sat across from Tweek, staring at him, trying to catch his attention. I stared into his green eyes, but I don't think he noticed me, still. I finally realized what it was – one of the very rare times his over-dosed coffee brain lets him concentrate. It happened at the Candy Stall too. Weird.

After watching him think for at least five minutes, I sighed and got up, walking back to Kaysha, just in time for the finishing words of her rant. Maybe the party would do me good – it'll get my mind off of accursed school.

* * *

**Ok...don't...kill me or something. I know, I haven't updated in like...five trillion million bazillion days, but here's the new chapter...my excuses are the following: **

**1) School crapola**

**2) Laziness**

**3) Sickly-ness**

**So, besides numero dos, its technically not my fault. Technically. **

**ANYWAY here we are! Next chapter will be the dance! What the FUCK is up with Tweek! Well, only I know that, so hah. Yeah, Lucy don't have a date. Wuh-oh...I love Craig. He's so awesome with his awesome-ness and everything. Again, the lovely OCs:**

**Kaysha Black: **Lil' Lolita

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Cassandra Nightwish: **dark child 1995

**Ivy Valmont: **Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera": **nao. xx

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**We'll be seeing more of the actual characters from South Park during the dance. **

**You know, this 'letting other peoples OCs in your fanfiction' thingie is starting to spread. Lil' Lolita (used to be Xx. Weird Messed Up Girl .xX) is writing a story with other OCs and I saw another story about an OC named Charlie or something and that author is letting other people's OCs in their story as well...**

**Decidedly, I'm making a sequel to this story. 'Lucy' will be running on for a few more chapters, then I will be writing a sort-of-sequel. It will be out of Bugs' (Lucy's sister) point of view, and her life instead...cool, right? Yeah it is. **

**Well, Craig and I will appreciate reviews. He'll flip you off if you do (good or bad thing? who knows),**

**KB**

**P.S. - I saw the movie Coraline, directed by Henry Selick, over the weekend...totally epic. Go see it. Now. The book is scary as well. Go read it. Now. Wybie's adorkable. If you don't know who Wybie is, than go SEE THE BLOODY MOVIE. Gosh. **


	11. Dance Like Nobody's Watching, Lucille

"Go fish."

I shot a glare at a snickering Craig, grumbling, "Sonuvabitch…" I picked up a card from the deck that sat in the middle of Token, Craig, Tweek, and I. I glanced over my shoulder at the angry hisses coming from the couch. Clyde and Bugs were playing video games, looking enraged, but trying to keep quiet.

Ok…here's the backstory:

Clyde had a bad dream about giant corncobs eating him, so he came running to my house in complete horror (Clyde is deathly afraid of corn, apparently) at 1:00am…we ended up eating chocolate ice cream for an hour, and then eating icing that was supposed to be for making cupcakes later today (like when the sun came up) for half an hour. By then it was 2:30am.

Bugs heard us and came thumping down the stairs, yawning and looking totally pissed off. But then we let her lick the bowl of icing and that got her in a better mood. After that Clyde challenged her to videogames. They began, but with the sound off, so my parents wouldn't wake up.

I got bored of watching them so I decided to invite Tweek over. He sleeps a maximum of three hours, and with my luck those three hours haven't occurred yet. But then he screamed really loudly when I opened the door for him to come inside, and some how, that woke Craig up (these two live on either side of me, remember?), and he decided to strut over here himself. And then we prank called Token, and he didn't fall for Craig's french accent (it gets me all the time) and ended up coming here himself as well.

And then we played Poker, Blackjack, Texas Hold 'Em, Spit, BS (I won 50 bucks and I get to be first person to get shotgun when Token gets a car), and now we're playing Go Fish. Its 4:00am.

…yeah. Weird things happen during the nighttime in South Park.

I didn't bother to change into Saturday's theme, which happens to be Bumble Bee, so I'm still in Friday's theme, Greenify Me. I have on my green tee shirt that says 'Kiss Me I'm Magically Delicious' and green sleep shorts. My bangs, of course, are lime green, the rest of my black hair in a (messy) bun.

"Got any threes?" I glanced up at Token and back down at my cards and grinned, "GO fish, bro!"

Token rolled his eyes and picked up a card from the deck. I started to sway to 'Troublemaker' by Weezer. We started listening to my CDs half an hour ago (on a low setting, to be quiet). I stared at Token for a few seconds. I grinned, seeing him trying to avoid my gaze, but then he gave an annoyed grunt and stuck out a hand in my direction. I cheered and grabbed it and started to dance. Craig and Tweek laughed in Token's expense, but my base-playing buddy started to dance with me, laughing as well.

_I'm a troublemaker  
Never been a faker  
Doing things my own way  
And never giving up  
I'm a troublemaker  
Not a double taker  
I don't have  
The patience  
To keep it on the up  
_

Bugs called from the couch, "You gonna wake up mom and dad, shaddup! H-hey…HEY! HOW'D YOU DO THAT, JERKWAD!?"

Clyde snickered at his opponent and I snapped back, "Your gonna wake them up if you don't shut off the damn playstation!"

Craig flipped Bugs and Clyde off, then me, "Dude, who the hell has playstation anymore?"

As Token twirled me around, I shrugged, "You think I should invest in one of them fancy schmancy Xboxes? Wiis? GameSpheres?"

Clyde grinned, but his eyes never left the TV, "Oooh, get one of those Wiis!"

I chuckled, "Are you kidding? Mom would never let me, if me an' Tweek played we'd be tearing down the house. Wii remotes would be flying everywhere!"

Tweek shivered, but managed to say, "They c-come with a strap, y' know…AH!" I shrugged.

* * *

I woke up groggily to my mother's soft voice, "Lucy…Lucy!" I yawned loudly, looking into my mom's blue eyes, "O-oh…hey mom…whats up?"

"Can you explain to me why there are four boys and your sister asleep in my living room?"

I rubbed my eyes, sitting up on the couch, "Tweek's asleep? Seriously?" I glanced at my mom, who raised her eyebrows, "Its…a long story. It started with a nightmare Clyde had about corn and-"

Mom interrupted me as she moved towards the kitchen, "I guess I should get out more plates, then?"

I smiled tiredly, "Sure." This kinda stuff occurs often enough for Mom to be cool about it, most of the time.

She shuffled towards the kitchen, starting to prepare pancakes. A thick white wall separates our living room and kitchen, but there's a large window cut into it as well. And a door, obviously.

I moved towards Craig, grabbing his shoulder and shaking him awake, "Hey, buddy, wake up…dude, its like," I flipped out my cell phone and then turned back to Craig, "10:00am…Mom's making pancakes, what kind?"

Craig grunted at me, sitting up wearily, "Huh…? Oh…" He waved two fingers at Mom groggily, but a goofy, practically delirious smile cross his face as he called tiredly, "Hey, Mrs. M…making pancakes?"

"Yes, dear, what kind would you like?"

"Uh…blueberry's fine."

We woke up the rest of our sleeping friends and we dragged our weary bones into the kitchen, sitting around the table. We all murmured thank yous to Mom and she nodded, taking her coffee into her study.

We ate our pancakes noisily, like any teenager (and kid) would do. When Token said something funny, Clyde spit his pancakes back onto his plate…Craig tipped back in his chair…Bugs dropped her pancakes on the floor and Peppermint Patty (my golden retriever) leapt at it, licking it up. So then we started to teach her how to catch food in her mouth until Token announced he should go home before his parents get even angrier.

Craig, Clyde, and Tweek agreed and they all went home. As I finished saying good-bye to Tweek at his stoop next to mine, I walked back into my house, and fell onto the couch. Bugs, who sat there as well, announced calmly, "Well, that was fun."

I nodded, tilting my head back to stare at the ceiling, "Yeah, but I'm real tired."

Bugs nodded a bit, and we were silent, staring at the blank TV. She started chuckling, "Imagine you fell asleep while you were in the middle of dancing…that would be funny."

We started trading funny situations that could happen at Bebe's party, one's I hope to God that wouldn't happen. I took in as much of Bugs' happiness as possible. I just know we'll be fighting again in mere hours.

* * *

"You taking Wendy, I'm guessing, right, Stan?" I looked to the black-haired boy next to me. He closed his crystal blue eyes with a small smile, leaning his chin on his hand,

"Yep."

"Who asked who?" I asked, "You or Wendy?"

Stan, still with his eyes closed, said simply, "I asked her."

We sat on stools at Frosty's, one of the two ice cream parlors in South Park. We ordered large chocolate shakes and took turns slurping as much as we could without getting brain freezes.

Stanny is a Gemini, I believe, since his birthday is on May 24th. He's active, curious, multi-tasking, and very laid-back. I can't find a lot of bad things about Stan, except for the fact that he's hopelessly in love with Wendy Testaburger. I'm not saying that love is a bad thing – I love love – but Stan follows her around like a little puppy. It makes me laugh.

If you took a first glance at Stan and me, you could've thought we're twins. We're both pretty tall, jet black hair (his bangs aren't highlighted, though), and sparkling eyes, only his are blue and mine are brown. Kinda funny. He's wearing a red tee shirt, blue jeans, and a South Park Cows jacket, with awesome blue and black Vans, at the moment.

I, on the other hand, am wearing a yellow tee shirt that said proudly 'I Piss Excellence', black skinny jeans, and black and yellow Vans, with a black and yellow striped scarf. My bangs are dyed bright yellow. Later, of course, I'll be changing into my dress.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard a small yelp. Stan held a hand to his head, muttering angrily. I held out a hand, "That's another buck, mister." He shoved the bill in my hand and I chuckled,

"Put your tongue on the roof of your mouth, it helps. C'mon, _Coraline_ starts in 10 minutes, we gotta get to the theatre."

We walked down the street, me doing all the talking since Stan had his tongue on the roof of his mouth.

"…and it seems like me and Kaysha are the only people in South Park without a date. How screwed is that, we're damn HOT!"

Stan gave me a weirded and spoke (I guess his brain freeze vanished), "Nobody's asked you?"

I paused, tapping my chin, before shrugging, "Well, _yeah_, but nobody I wanna go with." I changed the subject, "Stan, you look tired."

He gave a small yawn, "Eh. Me, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman just got back from Japan last night. Cartman was convinced that if the Chinese wasn't attacking us it was the Japenese. His logic – they both end with 'nese'."

"Wow. Why do you hang out with that dope?"

"Eh, he kinda just drags us along."

"I hate him. I swear, I'll get even with him some day. When he looses a few pounds, just so I don't get crushed."

He grinned and we entered the theatre, handing the dude our tickets we paid for half an hour ago. We bought popcorn and drinks and entered the dark theatre.

* * *

Stan stretched his arms after we exited the theatre, "WELL, I'll be having nightmares of scary witches trying to eat small children's souls, thank you very much."

I punched his arm with a grin, "Try reading the book. Gave me the heebie jeebies when I read it in grade school."

He looked thoughtful, "Can I borrow it, then? I don't have any good books, and the one Kyle shows me are one thousand pages long."

I ruffled his hair, "Sure thing, doc. Listen, I gotta go, the girls are coming over to my place and they'll be sittin' on the stoop if I ain't there. See you in a few hours, Stanny."

We bid our ados and went our separate ways.

* * *

I entered my house quietly, shutting the door loudly behind me, looking around, "Mom?" Oh right – she, and the rest of the moms of South Park, went to some giant old-lady shoe sail in Denver, "Dad?" Wait…he was playing poker with the guys, "Bugs?" Oh…out with Ike, of course.

I sighed and looked at the time. The girls were coming in an hour. I strolled over to the TV and switched it on, flipping channels. I practically leapt out off the couch when I found some old Mickey Mouse specials on.

I grinned. I have a lot of idols I've learned from my childhood: Mickey Mouse, Charlie Brown, Peter Pan, Mister Rodgers, and Kermit the Frog, just to name a few.

I raced to the kitchen, digging through the refrigerator for refreshments. I picked up a bottle of soda pop and…basically a whole cake (I didn't have time to cut it) and settled myself on the rug in front of the TV, spreading my legs out to make room to set my cake and pop bottle down.

* * *

After watching several Mickey Mouse episodes, eating cake with my hands, and slurping down soda, I heard amused voices behind me,

"Jeez, Luce, you look like a really tall eight-year-old!"

"Lucy, your never gonna fit into your dress if you keep eating…"

I tilted backwards to get an upside-down look of my laughing friends, goofily grinning, "I have fast metabolism." They laughed harder and Cassandra chucked me a towel from the kitchen, "You have chocolate on your face, dude."

I smirked, catching the towel and wiping my mouth off, "Shut up. C'mon, lets get this show on the road."

I put my almost-empty cake platter on the kitchen counter, putting my pop bottles on the counter as well for recycling, and we headed up to my room.

The day before I had pushed my bed and desk over to make more space for…well, everything.

Soon, my room felt like a beauty salon. Makeup was being passed on from girl-to-girl, people were using any reflective surface to fix their hair, shoes were being tossed from across the room, and, on top of it all, everyone was trying to not ruin their dress.

I tapped Kaysha, who was busy curling her hair into waves, on her shoulder, "Hey, Kaysha, should I put stockings on?"

Kaysha glanced over her shoulder at me, "Nah. That doesn't give you a very Lucy-vibe anyway." I nodded and went to go hunt for a nice shade of lipstick.

* * *

It's a wonder how I ever heard my cell phone in all of this racket. I edged to a corner in my room, flipping open my sidekick, and reading a message from Craig,

_Look out your window, now, im freezing my ass off_

I blinked in confusion and pushed my way to the window, shoving it open. I saw Craig standing on my lawn, shivering a bit. He looked kinda pissed.

Since it was so windy outside and neither of us felt like shouting, I tapped a message out to him,

_What do you need, old man? _

I watched him flip me off as he read the message, but he replied instantly,

_I'm not old. I just need to ask you somethin_

_Well ask it before I shut the window, im cold_

_Be patient, loser. As you know, I don't have a date to Bebe's party_

_Go fig_

_Shut up. I ALSO know you don't have one either_

_You smell_

_So, go to Bebe's party with me._

I raised my eyebrows at the text and looked up at Craig. He was smirking at me, proudly holding up a rose. I shrugged and nodded. He grinned and threw the rose at me, and I caught it before the wind blew it away. I waved to him and mouthed 'See you there' and he nodded, sauntering back into his house. I grinned and shut my window.

Ivy raised her eyebrows, "Lucy, your lucky you didn't do your hair yet, the wind totally messed it up. Kimberly, get over here."

Kimmy, who had just finished getting dress, and Ivy, who was also finished a long time ago (despite her tomboy-ish attitude, the girl is very good with a make-up brush), started combing, brushing, straighting, curling, and doing everything possible to my hair. It ended up in a very complecated twist at the top of my head, almost like a beehive-fashioned, with several strands hanging down from it, swirling gracefully. My yellow sidebangs, of course, stayed in place.

* * *

Eventually, we all got ready, and we even cleaned up my room a bit. Thig was I couldn't find my shoes. So I had to go in my black boots instead. Damnit.

As my friends went downstairs to my kitchen, I called for dad to get the car ready. When he didn't answer, I knocked on Bugs' door, "BUGS! You know where dad is!?"

Bugs' door is painted black and decorated with stop and yeild signs I'm sure she stole from all around South Park, and police tape, and then dark paint splatters. But on the bottom is a picture she drew in first grade of a rainbow.

My little sister cracked open the door, her welding mask over her face. She painted it so it looks like a skeleton head. She lifted it, revealing a frown, "He's changing a flat on the car. Your hair looks funky." She reached out to touch it, but I jumped back, waving my hands,

"Oh, _no, no, NO_, little sister, your greasy mitts aren't touching me tonight!"

She pouted at me and jerked a thumb towards the staircase, "Whatever. Back off from my turf, I'm busy." She flipped her welding mask back over her face, putting on her skeleton gloves and slamming the door behind her.

I rolled my eyes. Bugs never lets anyone into her room, except for Ike and her other grade-school friends who are willing enough. It's the danger zone in this house. I always hear explosions and thumps, and I don't really want to know what's happening in there. I didn't even know she had a welding torch. Crazy brat.

I grabbed a sweater and motioned for my friends to follow me outside, where I saw my dad dusting his hands off, grinning at our minivan with pride. I hugged him as my friends piled in, "Thanks for driving us, daddy-o."

He patted my head, "No problem, kiddo. Maybe I'll come in and show you kids how to really dance!"

I smirked at him, both of us chuckling. My laughter was cut short by my blunt, "Don't even think about it."

I sat shotgun and flipped on 'The Nightmare Before Christmas' on the car's DVD player.

* * *

The Plaza is outside of South Park, obviously, its way to fancy for our likings. Ya know, I really hate it when people stereotype little mountain people as hicks…ok, maybe some of South Park-ians are hicks, but what about us normal people!? No, scratch that, nobody in South Park is normal…okay, fine, I'm a very _fancy_ _hick_, OKAY? Jeez.

Anyway, we got to the Plaza in 45 minutes, and by that time we were all to giddy to watch 'The Nightmare Before Christmas'. We kept checking our hair and make-up in the car mirrors and screaming out the window for new good reason (actually, the screaming-out-the-window part was just me and Cassandra, but whatever).

We, as gracefully as possible, stepped out of the minivan and looked up at the Plaza in amazement. The Plaza, basically, is a huge building with walls made of thick glass, and the roof is pitch black, almost blending in with the night sky. Suddenly, I realized I was staring at the Plaza by myself. I looked around, wide-eyed, for my friends, but I immediately calmed down when I saw them practically running into the large glass building. Pshh. Some friends they are.

I jumped in surprise as an arm draped itself around my shoulders, leading me towards the Plaza, "_Well_, if it isn't the brunette Marilyn Monroe herself. What's shakin?"

I grinned up at Craig's smirk. Still with his blue hat, he wore a white tee shirt with a black dress jacket over it with the sleeves pushed up and black pants and his white sneakers. Classy.

"My butt will be shakin once we get in there, Tucker. Can't wait to dance."

After pushing his arm off of me, we went into the Plaza.

* * *

I will never be able to see again. The brightness of everything blinded me! Large chandeliers hung from the high ceiling, reflecting off of ice sculptors and the glass cups, plates, and silver…silverware.

Craig's voice brought me out of my blindness, "C'mon, we need to go see a few people. We'll dance later."

I nodded, still amazed by the beauty of it all, as he dragged me towards groups of our friends.

Slow music wafted through the air as we chatted casually with Clyde and his date, Sally, and Token, and his date, Red. I smiled when I saw Bebe, smiling so wide it must hurt, looking over her party. She looked very pretty in a red cocktail dress and black boots. Her blonde hair was as curly as ever, her blue eyes sparkling. I told my friends I'd be right back and I ran over to her, attacking her with a giant bear hug,

"OH MY GOD hi Bebe!"

She laughed, "You liking the party?"

I cheerfully nodded as I let her go, "Totally. Everything is so _pretty_! This must've cost thousands!"

Bebe smiled, "No, not really, my father is friends with the man who owns this place, so we got it cheap. The food was all free since mom owns the catering buisness. All I really needed to pay for was decorations."

"That is very epic, Bebe."

"I know. Lucy, I know."

* * *

"I don't get it…when did you learn how to dance?" I looked up at Craig with a frown. We glided across the dance floor, weaving between the other couples.

"Well," He gave a small shrug, "dancing is one of those things charming guys just know how to do. Its instinct."

I nodded, "Exactly. That's what I don't get. Why do _you_ know how to dance?" He twirled me around, rolling his eyes,

"You're a very rude person, you know."

"Rude person and proud."

We ended up dancing for at least another 45 minutes before I got bored. The music was fail. I knew I shouldn'tve trusted that CD dude at the mall.

Craig looked at me with a wave of his glass, "Well, what're ya gonna do?"

I paused for a moment before heading towards the coat check guy, asking for my purse. Once it was presented to me, I dug around in it, and smiled, once I found a silver CD. I handed my purse back to Mr. Coat Check and went back to Craig, proudly holding the CD between two fingers, "Made for such emergencies."

As I grabbed his hand, dragging him towards the sound systems, I heard him sigh, "See, this is a lesson to all people. Lucille Montgomery shouldn't be in charge of music, _ever_."

I slapped the back of his head, "_Don't_ call me Lucille." He grumbled something I didn't want to hear as I picked up and opened the laptop that controlled the music. Thousands of wires were hooked up to it. I smiled an evil smile, "Time to but some _swing_ into this party."

I opened the playlist and tapped a few buttons. Immediately, the music cut off from all angles. I could almost hear Bebe's smile fall to the ground. I took out the disc and put in my mix CD, shutting it and grabbed Craig's hand again, making him look at the different songs I put on the disk.

"You put Justin Timberlake on this thing? He's a fag. I thought you said swing, not fagness."

"No, Justin Timberlake's _god_. Shut up, we'll just not put him on the playlist."

"Whatever. Wow…Big Bad Voodoo Daddy? Jeez Luce…put them on first."

We quickly ordered up the songs and I grabbed the remote and we quickly ran back onto the party scene. I almost felt bad when I saw Bebe's face. But it will all be resolved in time.

I glanced at Craig as we weaved our way towards the dance floor, "Think you can dance real fast?"

He kicked off his sneakers, nodding, "Yep."

I pressed the play button on the remote when we finally made it to the dance floor and I almost jumped out of my boots when _I Wanna Be Like You_ by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy blasted through the speakers. But I lost all thoughts of distress when Craig grabbed my hands, leading my through some sort of crazed swing dance. Fun? Definatly.

Craig and I both know how to swing dance for one reason only – watching Hellzapoppin' to many times. After that we'd swing dance down the streets for practice. We don't do it as much anymore. I forgot how fun it is.

When I mouthed a quick 'sorry' to Bebe, her confused frown turned into a thin, sour straight line. Oops.

I grinned when I saw Wendy suddenly drag Stan onto the dance floor. They weren't bad, I must say. Anyway, more and more people joined us, and Bebe's sourness turned to glee as her date took her onto the dance floor as well.

* * *

Halfway through _Stayin Alive_ by the Bee Gees, I had to stop. You know how tiring this can get? Craig went to go get us water, so I plopped down in a chair, wiping my sweat with a napkin. Good thing I hadn't worn anything with sleeves. I would be dying.

"Hey, ho."

I rolled my neck, wincing a bit as it cracked. I peered at the unfortunate lump across from me with a smirk, "Wow, Cartman. You don't look so happy. Sad Kimmy dance with you, huh?"

The brown-haired teenager narrowed his black eyes at me, and spat out angrily, "Shut up, bitch." It was amusing to see how quickly you can Eric Cartman angry, "I wasn't even thinking of coming to this party, for your information. I had better things to do then come to this shit area."

I raised my eyebrows, "Yeah? Like _what_?"

He rolled his eyes, waving a hand lazily, as if he said this to many times a day, "Your sister." I cringed, my teeth grinding,

"You know what, fatass? You can go off and just fuck yourself, ok!?"

Oops. Louder then I wanted.

But the fatass was enjoying all of the attention. He said two words that I obliged to as fast as I could.

"_Make me_."

That was the first time I ever made Cartman bleed. I punched his nose, which, in reaction, started a crowd. Not exactly what I expected…but I punched the guy's nose, what did I think, nobody would notice? Hahahahahahahahaaaa…no.

Well, he recovered freakishly fast and shoved me over, and, damn the waxy floor, I skidded a bit and collided with a chair. I, now bruised, was almost scared, _almost_, as Cartman stood over me, laughing.

I rubbed the back of my head, my eyes narrowed as I mumbled, "What're ya gonna do, asshole? Sit on me?"

He…growled, or snarled, or something of that nature…and he stepped on me. It didn't hurt to much, though, because a year ago when Bugs wanted to be a pro wrestler she tackled me from leaping down from the dining room chandelier. Yeah…_that_ hurt.

But when I bit his ankle and he collapsed, hell broke loose. Craig came to help me up but Cartman accidently (I think it was by accident…) kicked him in the face. You shouldn't kick Craig in the face. More and more people seemed to join the fight while I struggled to get out of it. They were messing up my hair.

* * *

So the party ended early…the party _inside_, I mean. We partied on the Plaza grounds until exactly 1:03am. I am getting NO sleep, lately…

Anyway, Kenny and Clyde managed to smuggle out food and drinks, and some of Bebe's cousins, who were also at the party, drove down to Pizza Hut and picked up several pies.

I went to go apologize to Bebe, but she said it was ok and that this was the best party of her life (so far). I smiled,

"Same here."

* * *

**Wellll...did ya like it? Longest chapter so far, 12 pages on Microsoft Word! At least it wasn't a long wait, like last time. I actually finished this on Valentines Day (happy v-day everyone), but I didn't want to post it because I knew it would be shoved down by all of the mushy Valentines Day stories. Sunday, I was at my friends b-day party, my computer was down on Monday, and Tuesday I was just real lazy. but here we are. Story. YAY!**

**I threw some Stanny-goodness in there for XxLoveStanxX,**** who leaves very nice comments on this story. And she guessed right - Lucy went to the party with Craig. I bet a lot of you thought it was going to be Tweek. But alas...no. Our twitchy friend wasn't even in this chapter...but picture Tweek at a formal party...seriously. But we'll deal with the Tweek-Mystery in later chapters. **

**And for the swing dancing part - really fun to write! I'm a swing dancer myself, and I wanted to throw a bit of it in here. I tried to use swing songs you might've heard of..._'I Wanna Be Like You'_ by Big Bad Voodoo Daddy is actually from 'The Jungle Book', a Disney production, and _'Stayin Alive'_ by the Bee Gees is just...REALLY popular. You'll probably reconigze it if you look it up. And I mentioned the movie 'Hellzapoppin'. Its an amazing 1941 production with an AWESOME swing dancing scene. I don't know where you can get a good copy of the movie, but the swing dance scene is somewhere on Youtube. Craig and Lucy didn't dance as well as those people, but that's 'cause they were never taught by a real teacher and 'cause their only obnoxious 15-year-olds.**

**Sorry, the OCs didn't get a lot of screening time in this, huh? Oh well.**

**Kaysha Black: **Lil' Lolita

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Cassandra Nightwish: **dark child 1995

**Ivy Valmont: **Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera": **XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**Ya'll still cool, chillax.**

**Cartman is such an asshole. But somehow, he's one of my favorite characters.**

**Hm...have I covered everything? Yes? Goodie!**

** If ya leave a comment, I'll tell ya whats happening to Tweek ;) (I really won't, though),**

**KB**


	12. Love and Tea Leaves, Lucille

" Tweek, I can't believe you missed it, it was one of the best parties in the buttfuckin' _WORLD_!" I grinned cheerfully, hugging my twitchy friend tightly, spinning around in the hallways of South Park High School. I, probably still drunk on happiness from Bebe's party, wouldn't let stupid old Mondays take away my glee.

Speaking of Mondays, this Monday's theme is Baseball, so I'm decked out in my favorite team – the New York Mets. 'Course you remember I moved to South Park when I was seven, and I lived in Manhattan previously. So in my seven years of growing up, Daddy took me to whatever Mets game he could get in. So, at the moment, I'm dressed in a blue and orange Mets mesh shirt with a white long-sleeved shirt under that, and baggy blue Bermuda shorts, and orange and blue striped knee-high socks, and blue and orange vans. I'm getting a lot of dirty looks from Colorado Rockies fans, but screw them. 'Least Tweek doesn't care.

Speaking of Tweek…

He mumbled, his voice muffled by my shoulder while I hugged him, "I – I wanted t-to go b-but," He took in a large breath, "I was r-really busy that n-n-night…and anyway parties are t-t-t…TO MUCH PRESSURE! GAH!"

I rolled my eyes, taking him out of my massive bear hug, "Hardly an excuse."

He pointed a quivering finger at my face, "Wuh…What happened? Oh Jesus, were you attacked? Were you raped? OH SWEET JESUS! Do you have herpes now!?"

I paused, trying to figure out what he was pointing at, but remembered the rather large black and blue bruise I got on my left cheekbone from getting punched in the face at Bebe's party. Token says it makes me look tough, though.

A lot of people from Bebe's party are sporting injuries now.

I ruffled Tweek's hair, messing it up only further, "Aw, its nothing. I just got punched in the face! C'mon, we have 'el homeroom-o to get to!"

I linked my arm with him, slamming my locker door shut, "So…what were you doing Saturday night anyway? The thing that kept you from a very epic party!"

And the stuttering begins…(one moment)…here.

"I, I – I, u-um, er, I w-was…oh Jesus…I – I…"

He screamed a few times in between, of course.

"If it's that stressful, you don't really gotta answer, Tweekie." I shrugged. He nodded quickly,

"S…so how was the party a-anyway?"

I grinned, thankful we were getting on a topic I could talk about, "Epically epic! Anyway, I was at my house, getting ready and all, right? I was with," I glanced around the hallways, looking for my friends. I pointed them out as I named them, "Kaysha, Cassandra, Kimberly, Ivy, Sera, and Ava. So, I have no idea how I heard my cell phone in all of the racket they were making," I rolled my eyes, "But its Craig, he texted me, telling me to look out the window. So, obviously, I do. And then I see him out there in the cold and he throws a rose at me and asks me to Bebe's party, right there, at the last second! It's _so_ Craig, don't ya think?" I grabbed Tweek's shoulders, shaking him a bit,

"But SOOO adorable, right?!!"

Well, in short, Tweek looked positively scared.

Oops.

"Oh. Sorry. Went a little…blonde their. Oops." No offense to blondes, of course. Just a joke.

We continued to walk down the hallways, and I decided Tweek had a bit more than enough this morning. So I settled for humming '1985' by Bowling for Soup, the song Bugs had ever-so-kindly got stuck in my head at breakfast.

* * *

Anyway, after school, I remembered Bugs had this art show thingie at her school. Both of us like art, only different kinds – I like cartooning and doodling, while she likes charcoal sketches and paintings. Despite her young age she is freakishly good at it. So I got Token to come with me, and than Craig, Clyde, and Tweek sort of just came along for the hell of it.

The auditorium was rather packed. Apparently, these kinds of things are big in South Park. But I don't pay attention.

Middle school kids were lined up across the stage, in art order. Charcoals were last, and I'm pretty sure that was what Bugs did. I think. So we had a good two hours in front of us. And we spent those two hours at the food table, of course.

But, eventually, Bugs was up. She, being the elegant young lady she is, was dressed in a pair of baggy-ish black cargo pants, her pink skull sweatshirt, and flip-flops. Her brown hair was tied in short pigtails with pink bows. Very fashionable. You should see her when she doesn't try to dress up classy. She looks like she just came from a GWAR concert…minus the fake blood. Good news, though, she was actually smiling. Not smirking. A smile.

About 10 other kids were up there, standing in front of their canvases on their easels. The judges waltzed across the stage once more, inspecting the charcoal drawings carefully, jotting down notes on their little notepads, moving along.

My eyes widened as Bugs slid to the side to let the judges look at her charcoal drawing. She drew me! MY BRATTY LITTLE SISTER WHO HATES ME drew me! Happiness!

I poked Clyde's arm, gesturing to the canvas, "That's me! THAT'S ME!" Clyde grabbed me wrist before I could poke him again, "Don't get a manicure and plan on poking people. And _yes_, I see its you. She even made your bangs all green and stuff…"

I nodded gleefully and waited for my perfectly horrid little sister to get first prize.

That's when the trouble started.

The next two things irked me immensely. First of all, Bugs got third place. THIRD PLACE! Second of all, she looked perfectly content at this. I'm pretty sure Craig was thinking the same thing, because, at the same time, we leapt out of our seats and screamed,

"THAT'S FUCKING BULLSHIT!"

Quite loudly, I might add.

Then we stormed towards the stage, Clyde and Token trying to drag us back, and Tweek chasing after us, screaming.

Next thing I know, I'm ordering Craig to grab the first prize trophy, Clyde to get Bugs' canvas, and I grabbing Bugs, slinging her over my shoulder, and then racing out of the auditorium as fast as I could.

Bugs and I didn't tell mom what happened. She just placed Bugs' trophy on the fireplace mantle and hung up her sketch of me. The incident was never heard of again.

Except for in the newspapers.

* * *

I chuckled as I sat on the steps with Christophe, reading the newspaper, a candy cigarette hanging out of my mouth. We get a newspaper everyday in English (one of the classes I actually like) and I, being me, skip to the middle, where the comics are.

My brunette friend looked at me weirdly as I gestured happily to the _Peanuts_ comic strip, "Ah, Snoopy always gets me! Hilarious!" I folded up the newspaper, chucking it in my bag,

"So, Chris, whats been up with you?"

He glanced at me wearily, taking a drag from his cigarette, "Your leetle blond friend…ze' tweetchy one…he came to zee me…again." He stopped after that. Christophe just says things. He never really explains them until you ask him to.

"Tweek? What would he want to do with you? No offense. And what do you mean 'again'?"

Christophe looked at me with tired, black eyes, taking a drag from his cancer stick, "He 'as been cooming to me for two weeks."

"_Why_?"

"Ceegarettes."

Oh. Great.

* * *

"TWEEK!"

I didn't need to search the cafeteria too long – as soon as I screamed his name he jumped into the air with a shriek. He sat with Craig, Clyde, and Token, where I usually sit when I'm not outside.

Anyway, he turned around shakily, his green eyes wide as I stomped over. I motioned for him to get the fuck up and growled to the confused Clyde and Token (Craig couldn't really care less), "I need to talk to the boy."

I grabbed Tweek's arm, dragging him outside and prodded him in the chest, "_What_ is your issue, man!?"

He cowered in fear, shivering against the brick wall, "W-what?"

"You can't _smoke_! Christophe can 'cause he's like, all 'I'm Ze Mole feer me.' and Damien can because he's from Hell and everything, but not _you_!" My voice was shrill and panicky. Because I was panicking.

Tweek, looking terrified, began to scream and stutter and I realized just how much I was scaring him.

I put my hands on his shoulders, "Please, Tweekie, at least tell me _why_ you would smoke? You get icky tar in your lungs and you friggin' _die_. DIE, MAN, DIE."

He suddenly stopped shivering and looked at his feet, all ashamed-like and mumbled, almost inaudible to me, "S-Starks Pond. A-after school."

I stared at him for a moment before nodding, "Ok. Tell me then…sorry for scaring you." He nodded to me, twitching, and walked back inside. I sighed and sat on the asphalt, leaning against the brick wall…and fell asleep. Well you couldn't've blamed me. I had a maximum of 10 hours of sleep in three days. Gosh.

* * *

"You know, she looks tinier when she's sleeping…"

"Clyde, your such a fag."

"Am not."

"Are to."

"Am _not_."

Jumbled voices reached me ears as I started to wake. Voices of Craig and Clyde, actually.

I grumbled quietly as I felt someone shake my shoulder gently, calling my name. I blinked a few times to see Token, eyebrows raised as he kneeled down, staring at me, Craig and Clyde, standing above us, arguing, as usual.

Token held my head straight, because I was too sleepy to keep it up to look into his eyes, "How long were you out here, Luce?"

I shrugged with a yawn, "Since lunch, I think. Must've dosed off a bit to long…what time is it?"

"School just let out."

I yawned again and let Token help me up, "I need to meet Tweek at Stark's Pond now…I'll see ya'll later." I saluted to them, starting at a slow pace to get to Stark's Pond.

* * *

I spotted Tweek sitting on the bench over looking the pond, taking nervous gulps from his coffee thermos. I made my slow way over to him, wanting to give him time to think.

I made myself calmly present by humming (humming 'Blitzkrieg Bop' by the Ramones) If I gave him my usual greeting (screaming, rather than just saying 'hi') he might die. He looked troubled. Well, more troubled then usual.

I smiled, sitting down next to him, watching the thin ice float across the water of Stark's Pond, "Hey, Tweekie."

"H-hi." Twitch.

An air of calmness hovered in both of our auras (auras – another thing I watch out for). I was calm because Tweek wasn't spazzing and jumping into the pond. He was calm, probably because I wasn't murdering him for smoking.

Silence. Not an awkward one. But neither of us was completely relaxed.

Surprisingly, he spoke first,

"H…how long h-have we known e-e-each other?"

I blinked, looking at the snow around my feet, "Um…seven…eight years. Uh, yeah. Eight years." I glanced at him, "Long time, huh?"

He nodded hurriedly, his eyes squeezing shut as he held back the temptation to squeal or something. He took a deep breath and carried on, "W-well…" He swallowed thickly, "In the l-last few…w-weeks…I think I m-might be…" He blinked rapidly, almost choking over his own words. I was hardly used to this. I had never been in a real, serious conversation with Tweek. I wonder if he ever had a serious conversation himself. I was jerked out of my thoughts by,

"…in love with you."

I looked up at him to see his green eyes staring back at me. I blinked, glancing quickly over my shoulder to see if he could've been talking to anyone else? Did he just say what I thought he said? Or maybe…

My voice came out weaker than I wanted it to when I looked around angrily/sadly, "Ok, w-who put you up to this? Cartman? Craig? Who-"

I caught the look in his eyes. It was a truthful one. He shook his head slowly. Ashamedly.

I brushed me hair out of my eyes, "Oh." I tilted my head a bit, getting slightly dizzy, "Oh. I…um…" Well, if I wasn't completely dizzy and out of my mind, what would the confident-laid-back-Lucy be doing right now? Who the hell knows? I wish I did.

I took a deep breath, "Ok. Um…wow." I was completely blown away. Someone was…actually in love with me? So bizarre and strange.

He tried to talk without sounding to desperate (fail), "Y-you gotta say s-somethin'! P-please…"

I took another breather and took one of his hands, "Tweekie…I don't wanna…lose you because you're…in love with me." Was I even old enough to say this? "You know I'll always love you, no matter what. But-" My heart was just about crushed when his face fell and he looked down at the bench.

I muttered his name to get his attention, and he said hurriedly, trying his best to smile, as he pulled away, "No, I-its ok I w-was expecting t-this…" He gave a tiny squeak, almost too quiet to hear. "Its…no b-big deal." He rubbed his shoulder nervously, "I…I think I'm g-gonna g-go." Twitch. Twitch. Twitchy twitch.

I gasped, pulling him back down and I hugged him tightly, leaning me head against his neck. After about five minutes he hesitantly hugged me back. We stayed like that until it got dark. And then I fell asleep. Again.

* * *

After waking up on the bench at 9:00am, alone, I decided to not even try an attempt to go to school. Teachers would just get mad at me and my friends would be like bees buzzing around my head to ask me where I was. And Tweek would be there.

I wouldn't go home – Mom would get angry with me.

So I stayed on the bench in front of Stark's Pond, thinking of what I should do. Well, what would you do if someone just said that they're in love with you? Eventually I decided on something.

I rummaged around my bag for a moment before finding what I was looking for. Four, ragdolls, one half-finished. Each had big black buttons for eyes and yarn for hair.

One had black yarn hair tied in a ponytail, with sidebangs made of green yarn. It was dressed in a green skirt, a black tee shirt, with a black trench coat over it, and black boots with green stockings. Yes, it was supposed to be me. I used to have a trench coat like that, only I outgrew it. I used to wear it all the time when I was 10-13.

The second one also had black yarn hair, only shorter, because this doll was a boy. It had a little blue hat on its head, and it wore a blue sweatshirt and black jeans, and then white sneakers. Its little doll hand had the middle finger sticking up, and the little doll face was pulled into a sneer, though its black button eyes quite emotionless. This, of course, was Craig.

The third had a cheerful expression and it's cute little doll face, which was the _slightest_ bit pudgier then the rest. It had light brown yarn hair, short, because this one was a boy as well. He had a black scarf and a red jacket, with brown jeans and his favorite black Vans. This is Clyde who has his favorite black Vans. In his little doll hands was a fake chocolate bar.

The fourth, I had used darker cloth for the skin, because this one is Token. He had his little brown yarn dreadlocks. He wore his old purple 'T' sweater and black Bermuda shorts, with black sneakers and I even gave him a little blue bass in his little doll hands. On his little doll face, he even had his playful Token-grin I admired so much. The doll even looked as carefree as Token.

The fifth was the one I hadn't finished yes. Obviously, this one is Tweek, the only one left. He is bald right now, but he's dressed in an olive-green shirt, black jeans, and sneakers. On his doll face, instead of using black buttons for eyes I used black thread for closed eyes, probably because he was screaming or shaking or something. In his hand was, of course, a cup of coffee.

I sighed, taking out yellow yarn from my bag for Tweek's hair, beginning the rather long process of putting hair on a ragdoll.

I'm pretty good at sewing, knitting, and crocheting, and my specialty in that area, as you can see, is making ragdolls. It calms me down, for some reason. Playing the piano also calms me down, but I don't have a piano right now, do I?

* * *

I lay the Tweek ragdoll on my lap, flexing my cramped fingers. Finally…finished. Well, I did take an hour-long nap on the bench for a break and I think I caught up on all my lost sleep. Ragdoll Tweek's hair took the longest, because I couldn't get it to stand up on end like the human Tweek's hair did. I ended up using hair gel. It was Craig's hair gel, which I stole from him, because he went through a phase where he liked spiky hair. And I didn't like spiky hair so I stole his beloved hair gel. Don't ask me why he didn't just go buy another bottle.

Anyway, I suddenly felt someone plop down next to me, "Hey, Luce, long time no see! Yesterday you didn't come to after-lunch classes, and today you skipped a whole day. Whats up?"

I blinked at Ivy Valmont and then looked over my shoulder to see Kaysha Black, Kimberly Shao, Cassandra Nightwish, and Ava Cullen, and Sera heading my way.

I looked back at Ivy, "School's out already?"

Cassandra shook her, "Nah. We decided to skip the last class to go search for you.:

Kimberly nodded, "Yeah. Is something up? You usually don't skip school for no good reason."

Kaysha looked at the Tweek doll on my lap and smiled, grabbing it, "Ooooo! This is pretty! You make this?"

I nodded, trying to grab it back, but the brunette kept dancing out of my reach, holding ragdoll Tweek above her head, "Yeah. And be careful, I just finished it!"

Ava watched Kaysha dance with ragdoll Tweek, "In the matter of Tweek, did you notice he was acting real weird today?"

I looked up at Ava, "He…was? Weird as in how?"

"I noticed," Sera nodded, looking at the clouds thoughtfully, "In P.E. we were playing basketball. He wasn't even spazzing too much. Hardly at all. He even scored twice." She looked down at me, "And anyway, being weird is normal for Tweek, and being normal is weird. So he was…weirdly normal."

I sighed, finally grabbing ragdoll Tweek from Kaysha and throwing it in my bag along with the other ragdolls, "Well, don't bother asking me whats wrong with him because I don't know."

Liar.

Kimberly sat down on the other side of me, "Well, whats wrong with you? Your not happy, obviously."

"Obviously?"

My friends nodded, saying simultaneously, "Quite obviously."

I sighed, leaning against the back of the bench, "I just have to much free time." My friends looked at each other with frowns and Ivy spoke,

"You usually like free time."

"It gives me to much time to think."

"You like to think." Kaysha said knowingly.

"What I'm thinking about lately isn't pleasant."

"So your saying you need extra stuff to do?" Sera asked curiously, rubbing her chin.

"…yes?"

"Then I shall be right back!" Sera bolted towards her home, which is located conveniently by Stark's Pond. We watched her run into her house and right back and, this time carrying a little basket. She presented it to me,

"Brochures for every extracurricular activity in South Park or around this area. Mom is always trying to make me take some, but I have enough to handle. She still collects them, though."

I took the basket, sorting through some of them, "We have a swim team? Dude, wouldn't we freeze our butts off?"

"Indoor pool, genius." Cassandra remarked with a grin.

"We have a pool?"

We spent an hour or so looking through the plentiful brochures, but none of them seemed to fit me. But then I thought of something,

"I think I know what I'll do. Thanks for the effort, you guys." I handed Sera her basket of brochures and bid my ado's, running towards my house.

* * *

"Now…breathe in…and out…try to find your center…"

I followed my mother's soothing instructions, taking a deep breath in, and breathing out slowly. We sat on large blue pillows on the floor of her study, cross-legged, or hands on our knees. We were meditating.

Mom's study is rather big. The white wallpaper is completely covered by maroon and gold blankets and curtains, and warm brown hangings were attached to the ceiling. The large windows had thin curtains over them, thin enough for sunlight to pool around us. Her floor is completely covered by a large red rug with gold markings on it. She has coffee tables and cushions scattered everywhere, and large brown cabinets were lined with tea boxes, teacups, star charts, glass orbs, and little figurines on moons, stars, and suns. It's a very comforting place to be. A perfect place to meditate.

I opened my eyes to look at Mom, "Where's my center?"

Her eyes were kept shut as she explained softly, "Meditation helps you find your center. And in order to find your center, you have to do these things. First – accept yourself. You are who you are and don't change that."

The corners of her mouth lifted a bit as she added,

"But you're already very good at doing that, dear."

Hopefully.

"Second – kindness. I know, honey, you are a very kind person, but I don't think you would come home from a party at 2:00am with your face all bruised if you were at your kindest. But you should practice kindness to yourself as well. Do not blame yourself, or hate yourself."

I try.

"Third – adjust yourself to reality and beyond. The more you attune yourself from your center to the center in everything, the more you will find that there is a understanding inter-relationship in the universe that makes possible the perfect understanding of all things."

I used to be able to understand a lot of things. I hardly get anything now. All because someone just _had_ to fall in love with me.

"Link these things, darling, and you will find you and your center."

I took another deep breathe and concentrated.

* * *

"Now will you tell me why you needed this, honey?"

Mom and I sat at the kitchen table, she preparing me tea. I was eerily clear of troubles. Meditating does help, apparently.

I watched her hand me the cup of loose and she instructed, "Stir."

I did so and began to talk, "Well Tweek," I jerked a thumb out the window, where Tweek's house stood, "is in love with me." Wow. That was easy to say. Not so easy to think about. But I was still calm from meditating. She told me to pour hot water into my teacup. I did. Mom said focus on the future as I stir. I did. I blinked softly, "Bubbles." Foamy bubbles arose in my tea. Mom smiled a bit.

"He's a nice boy. A bit odd but nice. Drink, honey."

"I _know_ that, I've known the boy for eight years. But he _loves_ me, Mom, _in love with me_. I don't even know what love is. Apparently, Tweek does, and I don't."

"_Drink_. No, no, not to much…"

I set my cup down, smacking my lips, "Strong stuff, ma. What did you put in there?"

She only instructed me to swirl the tea residue three times clockwise. I've had my tea leaves read a lot when I was little, so I remembered a bit of the procedure. I then touched the edge of the saucer with the cup and wished a wish of the heart and turned it over immediately onto the saucer. The remaining tea dripped onto it, leaving the leaf residue in the cup. And then the tea slid off the saucer, leaving it bare.

That's how it worked. My wish of heart was what I wished for a lot of times – make life simple and kind.

Mom peered at the clean saucer, her face expressionless. She nodded briefly and took my teacup in her right hand. She spoke softly, pointing along the rim of the cup,

"See that leaf at the rim? You will receive shocking news very soon."

What could be more shocking then love? Greeeat.

"This tightly curled stalk represents a man in your future. Good…good…"

"And…a harp."

I looked up at her, eyebrows raised, "A harp?"

"A harp."

"What does that mean?"

"Harmony, most of the time. And love."

I paused to stare at the harp-shaped object and sighed, leaning back, "What else?"

"That's all I can see so far, dear."

I nodded quietly, standing up and hugging Mom, "Thanks, ma. I'm…gonna go play piano…"

She nodded, getting up to clean the kitchen.

I walked into the piano room, sitting in front of my grand piano, staring at the black and white keys. I set my fingers into place and once I pressed down on the keys, my soul poured out. And tears did as well.

* * *

**I did not like this chapter. I really didn't. I don't know why. But it didn't appeal to me so much. **

***sigh* I love Tweek. He's so cute and tweaky.**

**You know that Bugs-art-show-scene I threw in there? It was supposed to be a whole chapter, but I was so lazy I couldn't think of anything else to add on to it. So I just squished it in here, if you don't mind. Bugs is just precious. And speaking of little kids, does anyone know how much older Kyle is than Ike in the show? I want to set a definate age for Bugs and Ike, for my upcoming sequel to this story (I'm pending on a title), which will be all about Bugs. **

**Oh, sweet jesus. I hated typing out Tweek's blurt of love for Lucy. I'm no good at that shit, which is why I partly ripped some of it off from a FRIENDS episode when Joey tells Rachel he loves her. *sighs again* I couldn't think of any other way. Please excuse horrible scene, if you will.**

**I make ragdolls myself, and I'm obsessive with them after seeing _Coraline_ twice (IN 3-D!) **

**The only part I slightly liked was the meditation and tea leaf reading. Lucy's full fortune is: Her wish will not come true (ha) - she will recieve shocking news the following morning - a man will be in her future very soon - love and harmony will come a bit later.**

**Oh, and as always, the OCs were fun to write,**

**Kaysha Black: **Some Random Shop-a-holic **(stop changing your name, woman!)...(nevermind, you don't have to listen to me)**

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Cassandra Nightwish: **dark child 1995

**Ivy Valmont: **Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera": **XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**This is another long chapter (yay!) and I hope to keep it up. Sorry for the long-ish wait, though, 'cause I went on a week-long ski trip without internet connection...thanks XxLoveStanxX again for another lovely comment. **

**Our Tweek-mystery will run on for another chapter, as you can see. I'm just hoping I'm not turning Lucy into a Mary-Sue for Tweek falling in love with her. Gah. Mary-Sues scare me deeply, and I don't want to make one.**

**I also wanna throw in a quick thanks to ALL my reviewers! You've helped me move through this story without totally giving up. Your all very supportful. I mean, even XNao. drew a picture of Lucy :D Your ALL SO GREAT!**

**Keep on keeping on,**

**KB**


	13. Monday's Can't Be Good, Lucille

OK! New day, new adventures, new choices! Today is the day I conquer ALL!

Probably not, though. Whatever.

After crying for an hour or so, I felt quite empty inside, so I spent the rest of the night eating ice cream and watching Conan O'Brien. He's a very funny man and very uplifting, actually. I almost broke my hips trying to copy his famous string dance. So Conan set me in a better mood for today.

Today as in Wednesday, Wednesday as in Starry Night. So I'm dressed in a midnight blue tee shirt decorated with stars, black skinny jeans with stars on the kneecaps, and black boots with a star on each of them. I have a blue scarf and a black jacket on too. My hair is in pigtails today, my sidebangs dark blue.

I grinned, moving swiftly to the music that I had in my head. Somehow I managed not to run into anything as I danced down the street with my eyes shut.

I opened my eyes when I felt someone link arms with me, "Hey Luce, whats up?" I smiled, closing my eyes again, only singing the song I had stuck in my head,

"Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay, my, oh my, what a wonderful day, plenty of sunshine headin' my way! Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay! Mister Bluebird's on my shoulder, it's the truth, it's actual ev'rything is satisfactual! Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay! Wonderful feeling, wonderful daaaaay!"

I felt Token's stare before he said, "Nicely said."

We sang Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah all the way to school.

* * *

"Ooooo, Token, I just remembered…" I rummaged around my bag, pulling out ragdoll Token, "Lookit! Its you!" I held it in front of him proudly, and he laughed, taking it from me to examine it,

"Wow, Luce, I didn't know you make dolls. How long did this take?"

I paused, "Couple of days. I took long breaks, though. I made one of everybody."

I showed him ragdoll Craig, ragdoll Clyde, and ragdoll Tweek. Token grinned, "Impressive. Hey, I gotta go…" He put ragdoll Token in one of his many pockets on his backpack, but ragdoll Token's head and arms hung out of the pocket. Before he left, he turned to me, "We have lab today, second period."

I rolled my eyes and grinned at him, "I need to give Clyde his doll, then Craig, I'll see you in the danger zone!"

He winked, strolling towards the school building. What a charmer. It's a wonder to me how he's single. I looked around for Clyde and smiled to find him sitting on a bench, eating a Strawberry Pop-Tart. I brushed some snow off the bench, plopping down next to him, "Hey Clyde!"

My brown-haired friend looked up from the strawberry-goodness and swallowed with a smile, "Hey Lucy. Where were you yesterday?"

I shrugged, "I was to busy to go to prison. I mean school." He chuckled and I continued,

"But I got you a present!"

He grinned his Clydeness and started bouncing up and down excitedly like a little kid, "Really? What is it!?"

I took out ragdoll Clyde, presenting it to him. He took it, holding it up in front of him, and said with a grin, "Spitting image, eh?"

"Right down to the food cravings."

His face flushed a bit and he gave me a one-armed hug, "Thanks, Luce, your great. I gotta go sneak into homeroom and get my math textbook and finish that homework…"

I nodded, and he strutted off. Clyde – look up the word wittily adorable in the dictionary and you'll find this guy's picture.

I drummed my painted blue nails against the bench and my eyes widened in utmost glee when I saw a little yellow pom-pom sitting on top of a familiar blue hat,

"CRAIG!!"

I raced towards him, leaping onto his back, hugging his neck.

I believe I mentioned previously seeing Craig makes me soooo happy.

He shoves me off his back, but almost immediately picks me back up, taking my hands to dance the waltz with me around the school grounds, "Whats up, Luce?"

"I made you a present!" I announced cheerfully.

He paused mid-dance, his eyes sparkling with greed, "Fork it over, kid."

I grabbed ragdoll Craig out of my bag, and none other than the doll's counterpart swiped it out of my hands.

My black-haired buddy draped an arm over my shoulders, examining the doll curiously, "Swanky, short person. Nice one." I sneered at his nickname. I'm rather tall for my age but Craig is taller by two or three inches,

"Not my fault you're a freak, Tucker." I swapped back to happy mood and took out ragdoll Lucy, "And I made one of moi, of course."

Craig took ragdoll Lucy, "Oh, purdy. Juuust like you."

I raised an eyebrow, elbowing him in the gut, "What're you, drunk? You're so weird, dude."

He shrugged carelessly, handing me back ragdoll Lucy, and pocketing his ragdoll counterpart and we walked towards the school, which we had wandered away from when we were waltzing, and, as usual, I began to sing. This time: _Can't Take Me Eyes Off You_. I don't even know who its by, because a bunch of people did a remix of it.

"Ba-da ba-da ba da-da-da-da, ba-da ba-da ba da-da-da-da! I love you, baby, and if it's quite all right, I need you, baby, to warm a lonely night, I love you, babyyy! Trust in me when I say: Oh, pretty baby, don't bring me down, I pray, Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay and let me love yooooou, baby. Let me love yoooooooooooooou!!"

Our laughter and my singing was suddenly interrupted by an unexpected

"SON OF A _BITCH_!"

I blinked with a frown, looking around, "Either Thomas is back in town or someone is real pissed off."

Craig rubbed his chin curiously, "Probably Kyle and Cartman again. Oh well. C'mon, we'll be late for homeroom…"

"Yeah, like you care."

"Heh, your right, but I'm freezing my goddamn ass off. So lets get a move on, shall we?" He half dragged me towards the school, grinning cheerfully.

He never grins cheerfully in the morning.

Craig is acting like such a _fucking_ weirdo its not even funny.

Something's up. I don't even know what it is. And I all ready hate it.

Damnit.

* * *

I licked my lips as I folded a note that read _I'm hideously bored_ into a paper airplane. I glanced at the World History teacher before chucking it at Bebe. She gives a tiny squeak as it hits her in the back of her blond head, but she notices my signature and throws me back the paper. I see her neat script in pink written under my note.

_So?_

I roll my eyes and write with my purdy green pen, in my usual looped handwriting,

Ur a doodoo head. Hey…do you know wats up with Craig? He's acting funky

I throw the paper back at her and she frowns a bit before scribbling down a reply and chucking it over her head, back at me,

He's acting weird? I don't know Lucy, you're with him more than me

I sigh. She's right.

You're right…what about Tweek? Word is he's been weird to

I throw it to her and she almost immediately writes a reply to send back. I read it,

_Yeah he is! He's all…un-tweeky. It's so weird having such a quiet lab class without him screaming half the time! _

Tweek is Bebe's lab partner in their lab class. I wrote back to Miss Gossip over there,

Do you know why?

The blond smiled, happy to be on a topic she could talk about. She jotted down an answer, quickly glancing at the History teacher, who was still writing notes on the bored, before passing it back to me.

_Not exactly sure, actually. A lot of rumors are flying around, of course. Kyle says Tweek finally snapped and is just dead inside. Oh, and Jimmy said the craziest thing. He thinks Tweek's in love! LOL _

A few smiley faces followed. I sighed. Jimmy always seems to be right and nobody ever believes him. I sighed and wrote back,

_Yeah, crazy. You wanna go shopping Friday?_

So we sat up one big-ass shopping trip for the Halloween party that would be held Saturday night. Bebe, Wendy, Red, Sally, Sera, Kaysha, Kimberly, Cassandra, Ivy, Ava, and I are ALL riding up to Denver Mall Friday and shop until we drop. That just sounded real gay.

* * *

"SWEET MARY MOTHER OF GOD!"

That would be me. Similar screams followed.

Guess where I am! It starts with an 'L'…

If you said Lab, then you're right.

Yet another one of our concoctions…exploded. Well, it didn't really _explode_, the pink stuff in the glass container suddenly turned electric blue and started gushing blue foam. Token got it on his hand and the tips of his fingers are shockingly blue. So if we hadn't leapt onto Red and Sally's lab table (ours was covered in blue foam) we would've been knee-deep in sticky foam. Apparently the foam was slippery to because everyone as slipping and sliding, getting drenched in blue. Ms. Roth fainted over her desk (maybe she died, I'm not sure).

Token looked at me, "We're gonna be in trouble, aren't we?"

"Trouble with a capital 'T' that rhymes with 'G' as in 'gee we're screwed'." I sighed, quoting Conan O'Brien at 2006's Emmys.

The art teacher, Mrs. Sparkle (that's not her real name, its what she wants us to call her. I don't even know what her real last name is. Get her first name: Star. Yeah. _Star Sparkle_.), who is next door to the lab, heard the racket and she opened the door. She gasped happily,

"Everything is so _blue_! Inspiration! Who did this beautiful piece of artwork!?"

Artwork?

Token and I looked at each other. Maybe we wouldn't get in trouble. Immediately we raised our hands, "WE DID!"

Mrs. Sparkle grinned and called the janitor to try and clean the mess up and then 911 to get Mrs. Roth back in shape.

I swallowed a bite of my peanut butter and jelly sandwich, pointing at the floor, looking at the janitor who had just started cleaning up the blue, foamy, sticky, slippery mess, "You missed a spot."

He glared at me evilly and Token and I chuckled. My other classmates and Mrs. Roth were evacuated from the classroom, and nobody wanted to take a chance of running through the blue mess just to carry Token out and me. So we'll be here for a while. We've been eating our lunches, but in small portions. Who knows how long we'd be stuck here…

Around twelve o' clock I got a text message from Craig,

_Where the hell are you, Clyde insists we wait for you before we start eating. I'm HUNGRY_

Token glanced over my shoulder at the text message and rolled his eyes, "Just tell him you got eaten by a lion or somethin'."

_A killer whale ate me. Token is with me, here, he's currently cutting through the whale's blubber with a Swiss army knife, trying to get out._

I snorted at the reply,

_Great! Gives Clyde over here more room to spread his lunch out._

I grinned,

_Aw, lay off, assmaster. We're in the lab, been here since 2nd period. Don't ask. We'll be there in 5, janitor-man is finished with most of the room, so we can actually walk. See ya in a few…is Tweek there?"_

Token took my arm, guiding me out the door. My phone beeped with Craig's reply,

_Nah. Ran out when I texted you. Weirdo._

I sighed. He's avoiding me. He's SO avoiding me. I'll corner him outside, after school. Concentrating on happiness and not running into walls right now.

Token pulled on my arm, dragging me into the cafeteria and sitting me down next to Clyde, across from Craig. Clyde smiled at me and Craig flipped me off before Clyde got up, going over to the lunch line. He usually buys lunch, while Craig, Token, and I usually bring ours. But since Token ate his lunch in lab, he had to go buy lunch to. I would as well, but I don't have any money.

Before Token left, though, he punched Craig's arm lightly and snapped, "You better ask now." Craig flipped him off. Token must be bugging him about something he's procrastinating about. Craig dragged me out of my thoughts,

"Hey, Luce,"

I blinked rapidly as he snapped his fingers in front of my face.

I pointed, "Hey, can I have your apple? I ate my lunch already."

He threw the apple at me, which would've hit my face if it weren't for my skills, "Yeah, sure." He frowned back down at his lunch, and we sat in silence for a moment before he swallowed thickly, getting my attention. He looked at me, "You doing anything Friday night?"

The most casual you can get when you're asking someone on a date. So this means Craig's asking me on a date. Well, after school, I'm going on a wild shopping trip after school…I'll just cut it short, depending on what time he has planned.

"Nope. What's up?"

"Wanna catch a movie 'round 7? After we can mosey around South Park and have ourselves a time."

I smiled, "Sure!" Craig was asking me on a date? Sweetness! "What movie do ya got in mind?"

"Watchmen?"

"YES!" He knew I wanted to see that movie ever since I finished the comic book. Good ol' Craig. Did I just think that?

I couldn't help but smile through the rest of our conversation. This must be the 'shocking news' Mom predicted in my tealeaves…does that mean that Craig is the 'man in my future'? Who knows? We're going on a date. But at the back of my head I knew something was going to happen. Good or bad…I don't know.

* * *

"_**A DATE!??!**_"

Ow.

I silently leaned away from Kaysha, "Thank you, dear, you just made my ear drum explode."

She grinned sheepishly, "Sorry. But a date? With who!? WITH WHO!?"

We sat on the bus at the end of the day and I informed her about the shopping trip on Friday. She got all excited and stuff and we started planning what shops to go to, along with Sera, Kimberly, Ava, Cassandra, and Ivy, who were sitting in front and in back of us on the Cheese Bus (as I like to call it), but then I told them we couldn't go to too many shops because I have plans at 7:00pm. Ava asked what plans. I said a date. Kaysha screamed her lungs out at me. Here we are.

Sera, who was sitting behind me next to Ivy, shook my shoulder with a grin, "Yeah, Luce, with who?"

I've been on my fair share of dates, of course, but I've never had a steady boyfriend.

Ava, who was sitting with Cassandra in front of me, looked at me with a frown, "Its someone we know, right? Not some freak you met on the internet or somethin."

I kicked the back of her seat, "Shaddup, lady, course its not!"

Kimberly, who was sitting across the isle from me, sighed, "Then _who is it_?"

"Craig."

"No way." Kimberly.

"Are you SERIOUS!?" Kaysha.

"I KNEW IT!" Ivy.

"Wow…big surprise there." Cassandra.

"Cute! *girly giggles*". Sera.

"Ugh, it was coming, man!" Ava.

I rolled my eyes. Supportive, my friends are.

Kaysha and I got off at our stop (she lives around the block from me) and she started babbling/ranting or whatever you call it,

"I can't believe it…you and Craig? It's amazing! I LOVE IT! You're _so_ each others lobsters! Of course, after the shopping I'll come with you to your house and get you all dressed up and everything…and I'll do your hair! YES!"

I tried to cut in that its just one date, that I don't need help choosing clothes, and I don't need her to do my hair. But you can never reason with Kaysha. So I guess she's coming to my house Friday.

"Hey, maybe I can make a dress for you or something!"

Kaysha wants to be a fashion designer when she gets older and going to one of them fancy schmancy fashion colleges in London. She wants to design Lolita clothes and lingerie.

I glared at her, prodding her shoulder, "I'm not gonna wear some Lolita dressy thingie, no way, doll!" And defiantly not a lingerie, "Hell, I might not even wear a skirt."

"Shut up. Yes you are."

I sighed, shaking my head with a chuckle,

"Sure. See ya, Kaysha."

She saluted and I went into my house.

* * *

**This was a tad bit shorter than my last two chapters...those were 12 pages on Microsoft Word and this was just barely 9 pages. But it's still good, right? Hopefully.**

**This chapter was sort of just a filler for a BIG one, which might be even more than 12 Microsoft Word pages, because we got events like the next shopping spree, Craig and Lucy's date, Tweek's tweek-ness, and everything in between. **

**Kaysha Black: **Some Random Shop-a-holic

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Cassandra Nightwish: **dark child 1995

**Ivy Valmont: **Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera": **XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**Read **Some Random Shop-a-holic **new story. now. **

**BYE! I GOTTA GO!  
**

**KB**


	14. You'll Need Luck, Lucille

* * *

"She looks dead."

"Don't say that, honey."

"But she's all pale and nasty…"

I grumbled, my voice muffled by my pillow, "Shut up, Bugs."

I felt Mom's hand roll me onto my back and her hand on my forehead…I flinched. It was cold. Her voice seemed louder than usual, "You're not going to school today, sweetie, you have a fever."

I cracked open my eyes to look at my mom, "What?"

Bugs poked my forehead, "You have a fever, doofus, are you deaf?" I waved her hand away as if it was a fly,

"Oy, bug off Bugs."

"Your funny. See ya, Mom, I'm heading to Ike's."

"Okay, bye, sweetie. Try not to get in trouble today, Mr. Garrison is getting aggravated!" Ugh. Mr. Garrison teaches fifth grade now? Freak. For once, I feel bad for Bugs.

Mom turned back to me, "I have to go run a few errands, you sit tight, okay? Pancakes are on the table, warm them up if they get cold…" I nodded pathetically and she left my room. I heard the rumble of Bugs' skateboard, the whiz of the motor on Mom's car, and the squeal of the tires from Dad's van.

Bugs is going to kill herself, skateboarding in slush. Weirdo.

After getting the feeling back in my feet and hands, I managed to slug out of bed and hobble down the stairs, holding the railing with both hands.

"Man, I feel like shit…"

I continued to mumble to myself as I prepared my breakfast of pancakes and orange juice. If I don't get better before Friday I might as well die. Well, Kaysha might shoot me for missing my date with Craig.

Suddenly I felt a wee bit better. I have a date with Craig on Friday! I suddenly burst into a laughing fit, but that turned into a coughing fit within a minute. Damn, I really am sick.

I took four aspirins and spent the next three hours brushing my hair and watching Scooby-Doo. By then my hair felt like silk and I couldn't get the Scooby-Doo theme song out of my head.

_Scooby Dooby Doo, where are you?  
We've got some work to do now  
Scooby Dooby Doo, where are you?  
We need some help from you now_

Ugh.

I straightened out the wrinkles in my blue nightshirt that had a cute little lamb on it and shuffled back into the kitchen. It was 10:30am and I had nothing to do. I plopped down into a kitchen chair and before I knew it, I was asleep.

_I frowned as I woke up. I sat in my kitchen, but things were out of place. My half-eaten pancakes aren't on the table, I feel taller, and everything looks…new. I got up and I realized I'm not in my nightshirt – I'm dressed in a silver dress and matching heels. _

_My headache is gone – I don't feel like shit anymore. But I _am_ confused. _

_I manage to wobble into the living room, "Mom? Dad? Bugs?"_

"_Mommy?"_

_I scream loudly in surprise, turning sharply to see a little girl – nine years old at the least – standing by the staircase. She has long pitch-black hair and big aquamarine eyes – night quite blue, not quite green. She's wearing Hello Kitty pajamas and hugged a stuffed bear to her chest. In all, she looks harmless. _

"_Um…hi?"_

"_Are you okay, mommy?"  
_

_WHY DOES SHE KEEP CALLING ME MOMMY?_

"_Yes?" It sounded more like a question than an answer. _

"_Okay…how was Clyde's wedding?" She coughs and I get a better look at her. She's clearly sick. And Clyde got married? What?_

"_It was good…I think." _

"_I wish I could've gone." Her eyes go dreamy-like and she sighs, "Stupid fever." She looks at me, "Where's daddy?"_

"…_Daddy?" _

_The little girl nods slowly, "Is he coming?"_

_I jumped as I heard a door open and I heard a familiar voice. _

_The little girl ran towards a male figure, leaping into his arms, "Daddy!"_

I scream in shock as I toppled out of my chair, banging my head against one of the kitchen table's legs. I heard mockingly familiar laughter and I slowly climbed to my feet to see Craig hanging out of his kitchen window, looking into mine. I staggered over to the window, glaring at him,

"What's so funny, Tucker?"

So what if he's my date Friday? He's still an asshole.

He shrugged silently, an obnoxious smirk playing on his lips. I would climb out my window and slap the smirk off his face, but I couldn't for three reasons:

1) It's freezing outside and I'm only in a nightshirt

2) I'm sick and I'd probably fall on my face

3) Craig is way to hot to slap anyway

Craig spoke, "So," He grinned, "You playing dead today?"

I was so indignant I squeaked, "I'm not pretending, I'm really sick, man! It _sucks_!"

He sighed,

"Well, its not like you missed anything. Tweek was weird again, though. He's all twitchy again, but I think he's pissed off at something."

I glanced over my shoulder, "Or someone."

"Whaddya mean by that?"

"Nothing."

We stood there at our kitchen windows for a few minutes in a comfortable silence before my black-haired friend spoke once more, "Y'know, your birthdays in two months."

Damn. It is. I gotta start planning my Sweet Sixteen.

"Whats it to ya?"

"Whatcha want?"

Personally, I hate it when people ask me this, because I have no idea. But this is Craig and I'll spare him.

I stared at basically nothing when I spoke dreamily, "You know what I want? I want a real tuff 1958 pink Cadillac…"

"Cadillacs sure are tuff…"

"They sure are, Craig. I'll see you."

"See you, Lucy." We walked out of our kitchens.

* * *

I got better Wednesday night, which is lucky for me, because I have a driving test Thursday. Which I passed.

Cheer for me.

So I got my drivers permit and everything, but the problem is…I don't have a car. Dad said 'that's to bad', Bugs laughed, and Mom said 'don't worry'. GOD, I hate these people (not really)!

In South Park your legally allowed to drive when you have your license and your fifteen and up. Of course, tourists are always concerned and think that fifteen-year-olds shouldn't be allowed to drive. But the mayor has this all figured this out – most fifteen-year-olds don't even have cars. So ha.

And you know what else I did on Thursday? I talked to Tweek. Yep. I talked to Tweek Tweak.

* * *

I knocked on his door; my confidence at it's highest. _I will talk to him I will talk to him I WILL talk to him_…

I jumped as Mrs. Tweak answered the door, "Hello, Lucy, can I help you?"

Mrs. Tweak is a nice lady – brown hair in a bob cut and a sweet voice. Calm, collected. Unlike her son.

I fidgeted, "Um, yeah, is Tweek here? I need to talk to him."

She smiled, "Of course, I'll get him. He's seemed so lonely these past few days; he needs a friend to talk to. One moment, dear."

"Thanks, Mrs. T." I'm dressed in black today. Mom always said black was something you should wear to a funeral, or a time for mourning and sadness. Well, I'm not gonna show up at Tweek's house all dressed up in a yellow sun dress and a smile just to tell him I have a date with Craig the following day. God.

"ACK!"

I jumped out of my thoughts to see Tweek half-hiding behind his door.

"Howdy Tweek."

"AH! Uh, um, hi – ACK – Lucy!" Twitch.

I paused, looking at my feet, before looking back up at my twitchy friend, "I, um, just wanted to let you know…I'm going on a date with Craig tomorrow."

He let out a strangled sound that sounded something like a whimpering cat. That just made me feel even worse.

I blurted, "It's just a date! I don't love him or anything! I don't even know what falling in love is, sweetie, and I'm surprised that you do. Maybe when a find out what love is I'll be in love with you to. But right now I love you as my best friend and…and I think you should be grateful for that at least!"

He blinked, shivering from either coffee, the cold, or in fright. He mumbled, "I'm grateful.

I sigh in relief and totter forward, embracing him gratefully. After we got ice cream. I think Tweek and I will be okay for the time being.

Thank GOD.

* * *

"Well, its not like I want to be cat called, woman! Nothing short, its just shopping, Kimmy!"

I could almost heard Kimberly roll her eyes as her voice rang out, "Its not _just shopping_, Lucy, its _costume_ shopping for a Halloween party! Importantness!"

I scoffed, holding my cell phone to my ear with my shoulder as I sorted through my skirts, talking to Kimberly Shao, "Sure, sure. Here, what about this pink and black plaid skirt you got me last Christmas? The one with all the little chains. I can wear it with my pink and black leggings."

Kimberly sounded happy as she replied, "Oh yeah! Good one! Now we need a top for that. And help me find shoes to match my greenness, will you?"

I pulled on my leggings and skirt, brushing out whatever wrinkles there might be as I replied, "What about the green and white checkered flats I got you for your birthday? With the white ribbons on the toes."

"Yes! And you can wear your 'Smile If Your Not Wearing Underpants' shirt. The black one with the pink lettering. And your black trench coat thingie. The new one your parents got you."

I dressed into said outfit and grinned, "Ooookay Kim, I'm done! See you at school!"

"See ya, Luce."

We hung up and I grabbed my tote bag, strutting down the stairs.

Mom smiled at me, brushing her frizzy red hair out of her eyes, "You look happy, today, Lucy! Great, are you feeling better?"

I nodded, confirming this, "Yes, Mom. I won't be home till way late, okay? I got a hot date." It sounded like I was kidding, but I wasn't.

I filled a cup with coffee, taking a sip. Coffee really isn't to bad, and I need to stay awake today, anyway. I hardly got any sleep the previous night.

I walked to school with Tweek – told you we were getting along.

* * *

School went by painfully slowly, like it always does on Fridays. But I caught up on sleep. Did you know I have 39 freckles across my nose and on my cheekbones? That's what I did in Geography – count freckles. In result of falling asleep, I had a skull and crossbones drawn on my lower shoulder in black sharpie, courtesy of a bored Stan Marsh. In lunch I took up a bench to use as my bed. During music, though, I managed to ace my saxophone solo for the Fall concert.

So, by the end of school, I was wide-awake.

"THE WHEELS ON THE GODDAMN BUS GO ROUND AND DAMN ROUND, ROUND AND ROUND, ROUND AND ROUND! THE WHEELS ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND ALL THROUGH THE FUCKING HICK TOWN!"

Bebe, Wendy, Red, Sally, Sera, Kaysha, Kimberly, Cassandra, Ivy, Ava, and I were the only people on the bus, and the bus driver was cool with our obnoxious attitudes. So a select few of us girls decided to sing the punk rock version of 'The Wheels On The Bus'.

* * *

"Okay…so obviously, we need to go to the costume shop first for the Halloween costumes…Cassandra needs some new boots, so we'll stop by the shoe store…I need new skin moisturizer, Bebe needs new conditioner, and Ivy wants a bag of Tostitos, so we'll stop by that little 7-11, and from there we can do whatever we want!"

Wendy smiled as she traced a path through Denver Mall's map with her finger.

Kaysha added cheerfully, "But Lucy and I have to leave early – Lucy has a daaate with Craaaig. I have to help her get ready because she is clearly unskilled in this area!"

"Whats that supposed to mean!?"

"_Have_ you ever had a steady boyfriend?"

"…shaddup."

Girlish giggles and whispers filled the air as we moved towards the costume store…costume stores always freaked me out…they have scary masks lining the walls, people sampling fake blood, and pictures of scary Halloween movies.

Bebe announced, "Since this years Halloween party's theme is 'Famous Couples', Clyde and I are going as Bonnie and Clyde! Cute, right?"

Wendy clapped her hands, "Me and Stan are gonna be Tarzan and Jane."

Kimberly and Kenny are going as Mickey and Minnie Mouse,

Ivy and Kyle are going as Archie Andrews and Veronica Lodge,

Sera and Pip are going as Aladdin and Jasmine,

Cassandra and Christophe are going as King Kong and Fay Ray (I laughed at this),

Kaysha and Kevin are going as Alice and the Mad Hatter,

And Ava and Damien are going as Cleopatra and Marc Antony.

Craig and I already agreed on our costumes – Morticia and Gomez Addams from the Addams Family.

"Hey, does this look Egyptian enough?"

I paused to look up from checking my hair in the reflection of a knight's armor and nodded to Ava, "Totally. Your all shiny." Ava wore what must have been pounds of golden colored jewelry to go with her purdy white toga-dress-thingie, "Are we done yet?"

Ava nodded, "Yeah, let me just change out of this."

After 10 minutes (it took her a long time to take off all the jewelry) we headed out of the costume shop and towards the shoe store Clyde's dad owns, where I chatted with Clyde as Cassandra figured out if she should buy the steel-toed boots or the regular black boots.

We then went to my FAVORITE STORE OF ALL TIME – 7-11. Dude, that place has, like, EVERYTHING! And in the 7-11 in South Park they even sell UNDERPANTS!

Wendy bought her skin moisturizer, Bebe bought her conditioner, Ivy bought her Tostitos, and Kaysha bought tons of hair products, which I believe she wants to use on my hair. Greeeaat. But while I was at 7-11 I managed to get some new nail polish.

We returned to the shoe store, stocking up on shoes and Clyde gave us a discount, the sweetie. Afterwards we hung around the vending machines, taking turns chugging Coca-Cola. Kaysha looked at her watch,

"DAMN! Luce, we gotta go, its already 5:15!"

I jumped to my feet, grabbing all of my purchases and Kaysha and I bolted out of the mall, caught a bus, and made it back to my house by 5:45.

We dumped our purchases on the floor and my brunette friend stomped right over to my closet, flinging it open, "LETS see what we got here! Lucy, you go take a shower while I pick you an outfit!"

I saluted, "Yes ma'am!"

I took a quick, ten minutes shower and wrapped myself in fluffy towels, and before I could see the outfits, she plopped me down in front of my vanity mirror, "Hair and make-up first, of course."

Kaysha must've put pounds of hair chemicals in my black locks before she finally got it styled the way she wanted it to be – its let down, a plus for first dates, and a bit more wavier than usual, with electric blue streaks going down it, my side bangs electric blue as well. She claimed they would go with the outfit.

My make-up was a bit simpler – this was a first date, not a fashion show. So light mascara, and blue eyeliner, since Kaysha says blue brings out the brown in my eyes. My lips are glittery with pink lip-gloss (not lipstick), and I have a slight blush to my cheeks, thanks to Kaysha.

She finally let me see the outfits. She ranted,

"Since your going to the movie theatre, and South Park in general, it will be _cold_, so I laid out for you some simple, movie date, but still fashionable clothes for you to choose from. You will get cold in these outfits."

I raised an eyebrow, "Why would I wanna be cold?"

"So you can cuddle with Craig, duh."

_Outfit numero uno:_

**A happy little black dress with striped black and electric blue leggings and tall black boots. Accessories include silver hoop earrings and a few silver bracelets.**

_Outfit numero dos:_

**A fun looking, but basic, dark blue dress with gold bracelets and a gold necklace with a large thin hoop. The shoes were simple black ankle-boots with little gold chains on them.**

_Outfit numero tres:_

**A simple dark blue strapless shirt, kind of long, with lighter blue skinny jeans tucked into tall brown boots. As for accessories, I have thin, silver hoop earrings and a simple silver necklace with a little heart for a charm.**

Kaysha waved a hand cheerfully, "Choose away, darling!"

I pointed to outfit one, "Well, that one is a bit to flashy…I'm only going to the movies, anyway."

I examined outfit two, "Purdy…but I'm not going to a club."

So we went with outfit three.

Finally, at 6:48pm, I was finished. Not a single hair was out of place, my light make-up was perfect, and my outfit – flawless. Kaysha cupped her hands over her heart, sniffling, "Oh…I'm so proud."

"Save it, Black." I started my way downstairs. Kaysha followed me hurriedly,

"Hey! Since when were we on last-name-basis!?"

"Kidding, girl."

She smiled as I checked my purse – house keys, cell phone, back up lip-gloss and mascara, a little hairbrush and mirror, and my wallet.

"Is he going to pick you up or are you going to meet him there?"

I glanced at my reflection one more time before taking a blue zip-up hoodie (which I would take off in the movie theatre for my I'm-so-cold-cuddle-me-Craig plan), "He's coming from the skatepark, so I'm going to meet him there."

Kaysha's nose scrunched up in disgust, "Skatepark? He's gonna be covered in mud and slush and ruin your outfit and hair!"

I glared, "Craig knows we have a date, he'll keep clean!"

"Want me to walk you there?"

I grinned, "No thanks, Kay. I don't want to show up with my insane buddy with me, right?"

She giggled as we both exited my house, "Okay, then, Lucy-Lou. I'll see ya."

"Okie dokie artichokie, I'll text you all the details."

Before I started the walk towards the theatre, I gave Kaysha a tight hug, trying to put every word of thanks, relief, and credit into that hug. I gave my friend one last wave before rounding the corner, towards the theatre.

* * *

I took a deep breath as I stood in front of the theatre. Craig walked in exactly 89 seconds ago. I'll have to go in soon. I took a deep breath and shrugged off my zip-up hoodie, shivering a bit, and walked into the theatre,

"Hi, Craig!"

My best friend flashed his pearly whites at me happily. He wore a blue short-sleeved hoodie with a yellow and blue striped long-sleeved shirt under it, and baggy khaki Bermuda shorts, which only were _slightly_ muddy and simple sneakers. I got to see his hair because he was fiddling with his hat in his hands, and it looked like he combed the black mop for once. In all, the boy looked great.

"You look great." He said with his Craig Tucker Charm. I grinned. Normally, it would be an "I know I do!" or, if I was in a better mood, it would be, "Right back atcha, Craig-y Boy", but no. This is a movie date, not a movie hangout. So I smiled,

"You to, Craig. Let's go, I've been dying to see this movie."

Craig offered me his hand with a smirk, "Don't I know it. You've been babbling for the past week about it! Here," He handed me a ticket, "Bought tickets already."

The dude ripped the tickets, giving us the stubs, and I pocketed mine, waving a hand, "So I owe you eleven bucks."

"_No_, lovely lady, this is a _date_, remember? I'm paying!"

"Jeez, what a gentleman." I coughed a particular cough that sounded like 'not!'

He thunked my head with a grin, "Shaddup. What do you want?" He waved a hand at the menu for refreshments. We ordered a large popcorn to share, and each got a medium mix of Coca Cola and Pepsi, since I could never choose between the two.

We entered the dark theatre.

______________**(Mild Watchmen Movie Spoilers)___________**

I hid my face behind my hands as Rorschach threw the meat cleaver into the kidnappers head, whimpering. I guess that's why it was rated R…very gory, with several sex scenes.

I peeked behind my fingers at Craig. He carelessly threw a few pieces of popcorn into his mouth with a smile of interest. He liked the movie – good. But _HOW_ could he stand the blood!?

Hell yeah it was a good movie, but very, VERY scary. I yelped, hiding my face behind my hands again as Rorschach raised the cleaver again, thrusting it back into the man's head.

I blinked as an arm was draped over my shoulders, pulling me closer to the person. I looked up to see Craig grin down at me, amused,

"I thought you _wanted_ to see this."

"It wasn't – AH!" I simpered as they showed the bloody, dead dog. Scary, gory movies were never really my thing. I mumbled, "The comic wasn't so graphic."

Craig grinned and kept his arm around me for the rest of the movie.

* * *

"That was insane!! The Nite Owl was like…WHOOSH BAM PUNCH!" I waved my hands in punching motions excitedly. My date roared with laughter at my lame impersonations.

Craig and I sat at in the ice cream parlor, eating ice cream sundaes happily. The 3-hour movie let out half an hour ago, so we decided to go 'mosey around South Park', as Craig put it.

After ice cream (and not paying, I might add, since Craig didn't have enough), we decided to take a walk in the park. The time was already 11:49pm. So we walked around the park, laughing and joking like we would on any other hang out. But no, this was different…much more special. Around midnight we ended up at the playground, sitting on swings, sharing memories and laughs.

"Well, this was fun. I liked it." I grinned at Craig, who smirked back. It was around 12:45am and we were walking towards our homes.

After a moment Craig mentioned, "At the Halloween party there's gonna be a contest."

"Really? What?"

"Whatever couple is most in character gets a trophy and some extra credit stuff for school, plus 50 bucks each."

"Cool! So we gotta call each other Morticia and Gomez the whole time!"

We slowed down once we reached our houses. Uh oh. Awkward part.

Craig said in a matter-of-fact fashion, "We should do this again sometime." He jabbed a thumb at his chest, "I'll call you."

YES!

"Okie dokie. See ya tomorrow, my main man."

In one, swift motion I gave him a tiny kiss on the lips and went into my house. I peeked out the window to see him grin and walk into his own house.

* * *

**....**

**Riiiiight.**

**Well, what did ya think? I was laughing through this whole chapter because I thought it was the cheesiest thing in the world and beyond. But its your opinion thats matters, darling.**

**Ooooo, I had fun writing the dream sequence! The little girl, obviously, is Lucy's daughter, but who's the daddy? Her eyes are aquamarine, a mix of blue and green. Thats my only hint I gave you, I believe, since the girl's hair is black, which she inherited from Lucy.**

**Have you ever seen an old-fashioned Cadillac? They're really tuff, man! And yes, the word 'tuff' is from the Outsiders be S.E. Hinton. I've used it ever since I read that book. And pink Cadillacs are the coolest. Ever hear that song 'Pink Cadillac' by Bruce Springsteen? Awesomeness.**

**Anywho, the shopping trip was quicker than the last one, and my friends and I have actually sang the punk rock version of 'The Wheels on the Bus'...but I liked the idea of the theme of 'Famous Couples'. I hope no one is disappointed with the costumes, I decided on who was being what in five seconds. **

**Kaysha needed a date this time, so she's with that Kevin dude with the black hair. I didn't make him up. So HA.**

**Speeking of Kaysha, credits are the following:**

**Kaysha Black: **Some Random Shop-a-holic

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Cassandra Nightwish: **dark child 1995

**Ivy Valmont: **Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera": **XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**Once again I say to read **Some Random Shop-a-holic**'s new story!! It is awesomeness, so far! It'll even have Lucy (and a trillion other OCs) in it!!!**

**Ok...as for the date scene? I crashed. Arhgishskbf. osfkibjadrfo[idfg. asjkbskjng. STROKE.**

**This chapter came up fast, I'm pleased to say, even though it is VERY lengthy. I might take a one-day writing break, so don't expect the next chapter to come TO soon. Thankies to everyone for lovely comments! And XNao. it just occured to me I've never actually SEEN that pic of Lucy you drew. I was so honored that you did draw a pic, it never occured to that I didn't see it yet (o.0). W/e. **

**Happy reading my luvvies,**

**KB**

**PS: I got one of those flame thingies. Its GAY. Whoever is doing this is a total assmaster. Whoever else gets them, don't sweat it, 'cause they're real stupid.**


	15. Happy Halloween, Lucille

"Hey, lookit this one!"

I nudged Kimberly in the ribs, pointing at a picture in one of my mom's obese photo albums, laughing.

We lay on our stomachs in my basement/lounge/game room, fat photo albums my mother keeps down here surrounding us by the stack. Kimberly had been walking her Siberian Husky, Mimi in the park when I ran into her…literally.

My Golden Retriever, Peppermint Patty, who needed a leg stretch, started to chase after a squirrel, and I had to end up chasing after her, didn't see Kimberly and plowed right into her. It started to rain and she had to come over to my house anyway to get ready for the Halloween party, so here we are, looking at memories.

The picture I was pointing at was of ten-year-old Craig and ten-year-old me, the picture taken by Craig's mom. I remember five years ago…Craig's parents invited my family to go up to their summerhouse. Our families are pretty close since our dads went to college together. It was the last day of the two-week-long trip and our families decided to have a big old-style barbeque outside on the grill. And of course the moms brought cameras.

Ten-year-old Craig and I stood in front of the camera, grinning widely. Even when we were young, Craig was still several inches taller than me. His hair was shorter than it is today, all messed up and ruffled, and slight bit damp, since we both were swimming before this picture was taken. He wore a large blue tee shirt and dark blue swim trunks, a gangly arm draped over my shoulders. I'm pretty sure he was making fun of my height at that moment. I stood next to him, my mouth open in a smile, so I was probably laughing. I wore jean shorts over my red bathing suit, my jet-black hair in to braids…I hadn't figured out the wonders of hair dye yet. We each had a large slice of watermelon in our hand. In the backround, the dads stood by the grill, Bud Lights clamped in their hands. Mom sat on the picnic bench, knitting. Five-year-old Bugs and Craig's little sister Ruby, who was seven at the time, were discovering the mixtures of diet coke, mentos, and dry ice. The picture reminded me of how innocent kiddies really are.

Kimberly grinned, laughing, "Aw, you two were cute even when you were little!"

I shot the punk rocker a glare, "Shut your trap, Kim, or you'll be in a world of pain.'

She held up her hands in mock-defense, "Hey, hey, I'm juuust joking!" She returned her attention to the photo album set before her, turning a page and gasped a bit and I peered over her shoulder to see what she grimaced at…and burst out laughing at her.

Kimmy's nose wrinkled in disgust, "Jeez, was my hair really that bushy when I was a kid?"

The picture was slightly crooked, since I was the one who took it, but it was clear enough to show nine-year-old Kimberly screaming at what I remembered the top of her lungs at a nine-year-old Cartman, who was laughing in her face.

I grinned, "I remember that…"

"How could you take a picture of such horrible memories!?"

"Hey, I had just gotten a new camera, I had to test it out somehow…awww Cartman is so cute an' chubby!"

Kimberly snorted, turning the page, "Never thought the name 'Cartman' would be in the same sentence as 'cute' without the words 'is not' between them…"

"Aw, that's cold, Kimmy, _cold_."

"Its not my fault he's a racist bastard and makes fun of me every moment of the day!"

"He probably just fancies you or somethin'…"

She shoved me over.

* * *

"I hear John's gonna be there." I said, but still keeping my eyes trained on my hundreds of hair dye bottles, trying to find the correct shade of orange I would use to put streaks in Kimberly's now straight hair. She and Kenny swapped from Mickey and Minnie to Sally and Jack Skellington because Kimberly is such a big Burton fan. And the two are going as friends, by the way. They were never really an item in the first place.

Kaysha ran a comb through her hair, staring at the TV, which was airing Family Guy at the moment, "Ya mean John Vanson? Didn't he go to Japan or some place?"

Sera corrected with a yawn, propping her feet up on my desk, "Jamaica. He went to Jamaica for a month."

"Lucky duck." Kaysha sighed. "I wanna go to Jamaica."

Ivy looked up from examining her nails, "Which one is he again?"

I was to busy to answer, so Ava said, "The weirdass with brown hair. It's the same style as the McCormick boy's hair, and he has glasses."

"He's my lab partner." Cassandra sneered, "He's irritating, a perv, and annoyingly optimistic," I could feel her death glare burn holes into the back of my head, "Like you, Luce," She removed her eye lasers from my brain as she finished, "…but apparently he's also filthy rich."

Ivy nodded, "Sounds familiar. I think he's the one I cheat off of in History. He's such a drama king." She chuckled.

We sat in my room, in multiple-colored tee shirts and sweat pants rolled up to our knees, just preparing a tiny bit before putting on our actual outfits. I straightened Kimmy's curls beforehand because it would take too long later. I had to bake a cake for the Halloween party so I had them come over earlier to get it done faster.

Once I heard Mom and Dad drive away to their own Halloween party the Marshs were hosting, I rubbed my hands together, "Ok! Time for some cake baking!"

We ran downstairs, where I saw Bugs and Ike sitting at the kitchen table, taking turns scooping out of a chocolate ice cream carton with their hands, the area around their mouths smeared with chocolate. Bugs was dressed in a red long-sleeved 'Thing 1' shirt, with red shorts and red and white striped knee socks and red sneakers. Ike wore a red long-sleeved 'Thing 2' shirt and red shorts with plain white ankle socks and matching red sneakers. Clearly, they were 'Thing 1' and 'Thing 2' from _The Cat in the Hat_, a Dr. Seuss book, which is kinda ironic because 'Thing 1' and 'Thing 2' is my nickname for the duo. I'm pretty sure they're deemed Super Best Friends by now.

I nodded to them as I started pooling out ingredients, "Don't you gotta get to your own party?" The younger grades had their own Halloween party as well.

Bugs nodded, licking her fingers free of ice cream, "Yeah, but we need a ride."

"No one has a car, stupid."

Ava, who was rummaging through my cupboards for flour, glanced over her shoulder, "Well, your parents took your mom's car, so just take your dad's van."

"Please?" Ike added for some effect.

I am so gonna get busted for it. I shrugged, "Yeah, why not…"

Bugs and Ike gave each other a chocolaty high-five and raced to the living room to catch up on a few more cartoons before their Halloween party.

Five minutes later…

I slapped my forehead (and got my forehead all white 'cause my hands are covered in flour) as Sera dropped yet another egg with a squeak of "sorry!". We'll never get this cake done in time.

I pointed at Ivy, "Not to much milk. I'm gonna go check up on the egg situation."

I walked away from the counter, grabbing the egg carton out of Sera's egg-yolky fingers, "Try not to juggle the eggs, sweetie, you'll give yourself a brain tumor." Sera rolled her eyes at me with a good-natured grin and went to go annoy Kaysha and Kimberly, who were searching for more cake mix (this is going to be a six-layered cake). Cassandra and Ava were mixing white icing and food coloring to get orange and black and started to fill it into icing-squeeze-bottle thingies that looked like glue bottles.

I sighed, cracking two eggs into the batter and mixing quickly. After a few minutes I poured the cake into a circular pan, put on my oven mitts, and put the batter into the preheated oven, shutting it,

"Bottom layer – cooking!"

We cheered and I took an aspirin.

* * *

"Only streaks, Lucy…"

I rolled my eyes, "Puh-leeze, Kimberly, I am the unmarried _queen_ of hair dying, don't worry about a thing."

I had to bleach Kimberly's hair in order for the color dye to work, and folded foils over the bleached parts that would be turned orange. I had to wait a while, about 25 minutes to be a bit more accurate, before the bleach had sunk in and then we rinsed the solution out of Kimmy's hair, and then I was able to apply bright orange streaks to the bleached parts. Once the dye dried, I bent her head back over the sink to shampoo and condition her hair for cleanliness. And this is what I do every morning when I change the color of my bangs.

Kimberly smiled, feeling her hair, "Wow, Luce, you're an expert at this!"

"Don't I know it, doll."

"Ok, c'mon, we gotta get ready with our costumes and everythang,"

"Every_thang_?"

"_Yes, _every_thang_. You got a problem with that?"

I grinned at Kimberly, "Nope, not at all."

* * *

It took a while, but by 7:00pm we were all ready.

Kimberly, of course, looked amazing with her handmade Sally costume. She had applied white make-up to her face and fake black stitches around her left eye, mouth, neck, and arms. She had made a Sally dress out of several pieces of fabric, so it was multiple colored and quite pretty. For shoes she had simple black boots.

Ivy looked stunning in her Cheryl Blossom outfit. She changed from Veronica to Cheryl at the last minute, 'cause Cheryl has red hair and it would be easier...anyway, she wore a glossy red tanktop with a cropped black jacket and a black miniskirt to match, and tall black boots. Her red hair flared, tonight, it looked radioactive, man. She had a purse and everything – the reincarnation of Cheryl Blossom, manstealer, from the Archie comics.

Sera looked gracefully purdy in her Jasmine get up. Her dark brown hair seemed darker, thanks to my black highlights, and she wore the flowy blue pants that could've been passed as a skirt, and the blue belly shirt. Her ears were decorated with ridiculously large golden triangle earrings, and a gold necklace was around her neck. She had a blue headband around her head and little golden slippers.

Cassandra looked very different in her stylish Fay Wray (King-Kong's luvvverr) dress. It was a flowing white dress with black glittery straps wrapped around the waist and a bit above that, with baggy, flowy sleeves. Stunning. Her hair looked brighter and softer than usual, thanks to a good conditioning job. Of course, she still had that Cassandra-Nightwish-Edge.

Kaysha, who was still having a bit of trouble with the thin black ribbon in her hair, looked brilliant all the same. She was the very insane version of Alice in Wonderland, rather than just a regular Alice. Her blue dress was ripped and stained, and the white apron had bright red blood spread across it (which was really paint). Her arms and cheeks had similar paint stains on it as well. Hey, you can't really reason with this one…I had nightmares of insane!Alice after playing _American Mcgee's Alice_ at Clyde's house to many times.

I already told you about Ava's Cleopatra getup. A long white dress/toga with THOUSANDS of gold jewelry and a bunch of eyeliner. Very authentic.

I, personally, love my Morticia Addams costume. For the base I have a simple black/dark dark purple dress, rather form-fitting with thing, droopy sleeves. The hem of the tight dress pools out around me in tentacle-like tendrils. I have dark red lipstick on with light purple eyeshadow and dark eyeliner, and my nails are neatly filed to sharp points, painted black. I have on a black choker with a red gem hanging from it, and my black hair was ironed completely straight. My bangs have thin white streaks going through them, brushed a bit more to the side since Morticia doesn't even have bangs at all.

"Ok, everyone, into the van!"

Sera gasped, diving into the front seat, "SHOTGUN!"

I rolled my eyes, climbing behind the driver's wheel next to her while everyone hurried into the back seats. Ava, Cassandra, and Kaysha all sat in the very back, Ivy claimed one of the bucket seats behind Sera, and Bugs started fighting over the other bucket seat, attacking each other to the ground.

"Get outta there, a-hole, that's my seat!"

"Who said, loser? I'm a boy so I get the seat!"

"Oh, you just got nominated for a Douche-y Award, man!"

"Well you just won the Douche-y!"

Bugs rolled her eyes, clapping her hands over her heart, "Oh, I'm so honored, it's my first Douche-y!"

It's a wonder how they survive through the day. I twisted around in my seat, aggravated,

"SHUT UP! _SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP_!! Ike, you sit down and Bugs, you sit on him! GOSH!"

They cringed a bit at my loudness, but obeyed, for once, and we managed to get to drop them off at their party in one piece. We sped off towards our party, thankful for the absence of Thing 1 and Thing 2.

I parked and leapt out of the car and grinned when I saw Craig. He looked AMAZING as a certain Mr. Gomez Alondo Addams. His black hair was slicked back and cool, and he was dressed in a black suit with thin white lines going down it. He had a (hopefully) fake cigar between his lips.

Oh, and by the way, I had the weirdest dream last night. It had Kyle in it…and NO, not like _that_ you BAD-MINDED PERSON. It was kinda creepy. He had the Jewish star cut into his chest and his eyes were blazing red and he started eating everyone.

This was random, but blame my imaginary ADD for getting off topic.

I hugged Craig, "Hey, Craig, you look great!"

We proceeded towards the entrance, "I thought you were supposed to call me Gomez."

"When we get inside."

"Y'know, I don't even like Halloween parties. All you do is drink 'blood', which is really Hawaiian Punch, and then dance to the Cloth Eyed Jack and the Macadamia."

I glared at him, "Ok, first of all, its fun and I'm supposed to be a vampire, so the blood will do me good, and second of all, it's the _Cotton_ Eyed _Joe _and the _Macarena_. Try to enjoy yourself, darling."

We got inside.

* * *

"BOO!"

I almost hid my face in my hands when a hideous face appeared in front of me, pale, eyes wide, and blood stained across his face and dripping from his eyeballs, an axe split through his bloodstained black hoodie and head. But then I realized it was John. John Vanson. I kept my cool (eh, can't keep what ya never had), remembering that there were scouts wandering around the room, to see who would stay in character and win the prize.

I took a sip from my punch glass, but couldn't help the small grin that spread across my face, "You look charming, Jonathon." Hell, I don't even know if his name is Jonathon, or just plain John. I'll ask him later.

My friend pulled back from his scary hunchback stance, "Y'know, if you _weren't_ Morticia you would be screaming at the top of your lungs and I would be covered in Hawaiian Punch."

I rolled my eyes and Craig appeared at my side, having talked to Clyde a few moments ago, "Can we help you?" He asked cheerfully. Well, that was rather Craig-ish, but it was still in character – Both Gomez and Craig can be rude and smiling at the same time.

John grinned at Craig, "Hey, dude, slick hair."

John is a good buddy, but, sadly, I, and a few others, only realize this at the weirdest of times.

John is a good buddy, but, sadly, I, and a few others, only realize this at the weirdest of times. He's sometimes an annoying prick, actually. Oh well. I guess half of it is because he's always making these perverted jokes to us girls. Their hellzafunny a lot of times, unless their pointed at you. Craig is aware of his…pervertation, as you would call it.

He took my wrist, dragging me out towards the dance floor, "Dance. Now." I said my good-bye to John, who was already off searching for more people to scare.

We spent a few hours dancing quite obnoxious, like any Morticia and Gomez Addams would do, bumping into people and saying ushy mushy lovey dovey words to each other's that would make people puke. It was hilarious…

Awesomely, Kimberly and Kenny won the costume contest as being an excellent Sally and Jack Skellington.

Kenny looked amazing – his face was covered in white make-up, and thin black lines going down his cheeks, making his cheekbones looked thinner and higher, like an actual skull. He painted the area around his eyes pitch black, and stitches coming out of his mouth. And then he had the whole suit and everything, and he walked with a slight swagger.

Cassandra and Christophe got second for being Fay Wray and King Kong, while Ivy and Kyle got third for being Archie Andrews and Cheryl Blossom. Craig and I were thankful we could finally drop the act.

We ended up on Craig's couch, sitting in sweat pants, Craig in his undershirt and I in my sports bra (noooo don't get the wrong idea!), wet cloths over our foreheads. We dived in mosh pits and headbanged too much…so we came home early.

Craig rolled his head towards me with a lazy grin, "You have a good time?"

"Duh."

"Good. So did I."

"Yeah, you danced to both the Cloth Eyed Jack and the Macadamia."

"Your funny."

"Yeah."

We fell asleep on the couch, fingers laced together.

* * *

**Dawwww...aren't they cute?**

**Well, this was sort of kind of a filler chapter. I just wanted to throw in a bit of Crucy fluff. **Miss Shopaholic **made up the whole Crucy thingie, ain't it cute? It was between Crucy and Laig, I believe, but I chose Crucy. Just tell me if you want to change it to Laig. **

**We have a new OC here, if you haven't noticed. It is** **Sir** JVM-sp150**'s OC named John. Sorry, my dear, John didn't get a lot of screening time, but I had to squeeze him in there, I was already half-done with the chapter when you reviewed with your OC. And speaking of John, he made this awesome possum site called **

sites. google .com/ site/ spimaginationland **(remove spaces)**

**Yeah, toads G** [totally gangta]** man, check it out. Speaking of OCs, here are credits:**

**Kaysha Black: **Some Random Shop-a-holic

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Cassandra Nightwish: **dark child 1995

**Ivy Valmont: **Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera": **XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson: **JVM-sp150

**Such wonderful people you gahs are. And for a prep for the upcoming chapter, its gonna have a nice big ol' scene that includes Cartman and Lucy having a bigass argument **8D** Yippee! I have it planned out in my head already. Everyone is gonna be watching them argue and then something BIG is gonna happen. You'll just have to guess what that BIG thing is...**

**This chapter came slightly later than I would've hoped, but my daddy-o was hogging the computer 'cause he's sick and can't drive into the City for work. So...yeah. **

**And I wanted to mention ONNNNE more thing...and its about Clyde. First of all, I need to write more Clyde in this story. Ain't he cute? Ans second of all, I was skimming through Clyde-centric fics and I saw the usual - a bunch of slashy slash (I don't really have anything against slash fics, its just that I prefer girlxguy instead). So I continued going through the SP stories about random people. So then I found this story, EXCELLENTLY written, I LOVE it SO much. Thing is...Clyde is a complete and utter asshole in it. A total shitbag, he won a Douche-y award, man! So I figure out people have two different outlooks on our SP Squishee...the cute, chubby-ish Clyde who likes looked at girls (the one I prefer), and then there's assmaster Clyde, who's a manbitch! WHAT DID HE EVER DO TO YOU!??! *runs away, sobbing***

...*jeopardy theme*...

***comes back, dabbing eyes with napkin***

**Right, anyway...thanks for reading and everything, my luvvies,**

KB

P.S. - This has a new title, if you hadn't noticed. Thanks Cartooncutie16 for helping me with the title choice, your a doll *runs off to add an extra Ivy scene to next chapter*


	16. Ice and Water, Lucille

"When you see my face, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you heelll!"

I danced down the straight, clad in sunny clothing because it was a sunny week – something hideously rare in South Park. Every like, three months, we have one whole week where it's all sunny and everything. Not like 90 degrees or something, around 65 degrees, and that's good enough.

So I'm dressed in a yellow shorts and a yellow tanktop that reads in fancy lettering 'Any Job is Worth Doing Drunk'. If you haven't noticed, I like shirts that say stuff. I have on yellow and white polka dot flats with white ribbons on the toes and a giant sunflower tucked in my hair, sidebangs yellow today.

"When you see my face, hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you HELL!"

I raised my arms and did a half-impressive cartwheel, but something caught my eye…and I landed on my face, my head hitting a pole in the process. I crawled to my feet and quickly plastered my face against the shoe store window, pressing my forehead and nose against the glass, ignoring the throbbing pain in my forehead.

"They're…so…beautiful."

Bebe scraped her nails against the window, "I need them! When does Mr. Donovan open this place?!"

I moaned, "9:00am! Ugh, we'll have to wait after school."

We sighed and faced each other,

"Mornin'."

"Hey."

We looked down at each other's feet (this is something girls do – look at each others shoes), and at the same time, we screeched,

"OMIGOD I LOVE YOUR SHOES!"

She had on almost the same exact shoes as me, only hers were green and white polka dotted flats with green ribbons on the toes.

After a moment of pondering, I took off one of my shoes, handing it to Bebe. She took off one of her shoes and traded…we're not new to this. We giggled girlish giggles and headed towards school. We had to get there quickly; we had a list assembly that morning.

* * *

"Today's list meeting is called to order. Lucy, you have the floor." Bebe said in her official-voice.

We hold our List assemblies in one of the old janitors closets, which, of course, we expanded (somehow) and painted and everything. Each girl has their own little desk – a set of pretty stationary, pencils, glue, and stickers, each of us with a table lamp. Bebe is the 'leader' of our little committee, pretty much, and Rebecca is the Honorary Chair, and Teresa is the secretary.

I stood up, "If it pleases and sparkles, I would like to continue our deliberations on List 143b, 'Which Boy Has The Cutest Hairstyle'." I sat.

It was a new list. We hadn't started an debate yet, it was an idea from last week's meeting.

Bebe nodded, "Lucy advocates that we should begin work on list 143b, does that sparkle with all the girls?"

"Sunshine!" We chorused.

Rebecca, Bebe's first secretary, stood, "Deliberating which boy has the cutest hairstyle!" She glanced down at the paper in front of her, "Millie, you have the floor!"

Millie stood up, "If it pleases and sparkles, I would like to submit that Nicholas Mandels got a new haircut last week and in my opinion, by far the cutest, defiantly cuter than Clyde Donavon's."

It's so weird. We talk about the most careless things in such a business-like manner.

Wendy stood up, saying in a formal voice, "I don't think anybody disagrees that Mandels' haircut is cuter than Donavon's, but it does not make it the cutest!"

I sighed, raising a hand. Bebe nodded to me,

"Yes, Lucy?"

"Well, I was wondering if texture or color counts. Because I've felt Clyde's hair and he has the softest hair ever." Its _true_.

A rush of mumbles swept through the girls and Bebe announced,

"Ms. Honorary Chair Rebecca says we should vote on not only style, but texture and color as well. Does that sparkle with all the girls?"

"Sunshine!"

"Great."

Ugh. Craziness.

* * *

We filed out of the List assembly room, chatting quietly. We rounded a corner and stopped short when we saw Clyde, Craig, Token, and Tweek lounging around their lockers.

Wendy gasped, "THEIR HAIR! _TOUCH IT_!"

We charged towards the boys, who looked up in horror.

* * *

I helped Tweek to his feet as I explained to my friends, "We're opening a new List, is all, no worries. Just watch out, girls will be tugging at your hair all week."

Craig mumbled with a roll of his eyes, "Yeah…no worries. Hey, you wanna play some b-ball after school with us? Tweek's ref."

I nodded, "Sure, after I go shoe shopping with Bebe." I sort of live a double life – you can find me on the court, or at the mall.

* * *

"Fanta, Fanta, don't you wanta?! Don't you wanta, wanta fanta?!"

I twirled towards the stairs that led to the school's courtyard, where you'd find almost everyone lounging around, enjoying the sun. I bought…a can of orange Fanta. And that stuff gets me SO HYPER.

"CLYDE!"

I leapt onto Clyde's back, my empty Fanta can go flying (I heard an annoyed yelp somewhere in the distance), hugging his neck, making him stagger forward.

I slid off his back and started to dribble the basketball he had in his hands, "So the girls are making a new list."

Clyde grinned, rubbing his brown hair sheepishly, "Oh, _great_. Remember back in like, fourth grade when you girls made that list on who was the cutest boy in the class?"

"Yeah, you got all the attention from the girls 'cause you were at the top of the list!"

He chuckled, shaking his head, "Yeah, good times. So how's my hair?"

My friend bent down a bit so I can rub his hair. Still soft as feathers, but still thick, and I love it.

"Totally in the top 5."

He grinned and we took turns trying to spin the basketball on the tip of our fingers, "You know what happened today? Principal Monica got pissed at me because I skipped the first two classes."

"Then just do something really bad, to get on her nerves, and to get her back."

Clyde looked at me warily, "Like what?"

* * *

We glanced around the hallways and tip-toed down the hallways (humming the Mission Impossible, I might add)…y'know, I really hate the school hallways. They're so drab, colored in shades of gray, black, and dull blue. Sometimes their spruced up when Mrs. Sparkle posts some of our drawings up on them…but other than that…nothing. Nothing at all and I hate it.

We stood in front of the wall that was right outside of Principal Monica's office door. I looked over at Clyde, "You ready?"

He held up two ketchup bottles, "Aye. You ready?"

"Yup."

"Then lets get to it."

We rolled up our sleeves, set our shoulders and went crazy, squirting ketchup all over the wall and then smearing it against the bad white paint job with our hands, hissing with laughter the whole time. I got onto Clyde's shoulder and squirted above the ketchup-y mess,

"YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED"

The ketchup looked like blood. Hilarious, dude.

We washed our hands until the ketchup smell was gone, discarded our ketchup bottles properly, and began planning our next scheme.

* * *

"Ready? GO!"

I thrust my arm back and licked my lips, my eyes narrowing. I launched the toilet paper into the air, and bolted to the other side of the tree to catch it, tossing it around the tree until it almost completely covered in toilet paper. Clyde was doing similar things to other objects on the lawn of South Park High School. Only 15 more minutes of lunch, then we'd have to stop.

Soon, South Park High School's lawns were covered in toilet paper.

* * *

I shrugged as I squirted glue onto the walls of the Home Ec. Classroom, "No, not yet. Jeez, Clyde, why am I talking to you about Craig? Its very girly of you."

"Then that means I'm hanging out with you to much."

I rolled my eyes and took a piece of construction paper from the pile he was holding, pasting it to the wall, talking out a black sharpie and writing in neat calligraphy,

'CHECK YOUR FLY!'

We had similar ones all around the school, in every classroom. Another one read

'BEWARE THE UNDERPANTS GNOMES!'

"But why do you care if I've kissed Craig or not?"

"Bebe tells me it's not official if you don't kiss."

"Whats not official?"

"Hell if I know."

* * *

"DO YOU HAVE A TAMPON!?" I shrieked at our World History teacher, Mr. Logan, squeezing my legs together with a desperate face, trying my best to conceal my laughter. I could hear snickers from around the corner, where Clyde, Craig, Token, and Tweek were hiding.

He stared at me in horror, stuttering, and I quickly ran away.

* * *

"BURN!"

Clyde's voice rang out as Cartman received yet another detention.

* * *

"And we didn't even get caught for it! AMAZING!"

I sat on the counter of Donovan's Shoes, Clyde behind the cash register, as we told Bebe about our amazing day.

Bebe giggled her girlish giggle, "Just because Clyde got yelled at, you do all of those horrible things?!"

"Uh, _yeah_." I said, as if it was obvious.

"Very epic day, I must say." Clyde said solemnly.

I checked my watch and picked up the bag of shoes I just purchased, "C'mon, Clyde, we gotta get to the courts, Craig will yell at us, Token will give us the look, and Tweek will think we got raped." I looked over at my blond friend, "C'mon, Blondie, you come, its great watching guys play basketball in the sun. Their skin gets all glimmery in the sun when they sweat and then they gotta take their shirts off."

Clyde draped an arm around both of us, pimp-style, with a happy grin on his face, and we headed out to the basketball courts near Stark's Pond.

* * *

It ended up being very crowded near the basketball courts; our whole class was there. The girls sat by the sidelines, sighing and oogling at the sweaty, shirtless guys racing around the courts, laughing and joking with each other.

I sighed, leaning against Ivy, watching Craig leap into the air, slamming the ball through the hoop and then fist-bumping with Token, "Craig's so hot."

Ivy flicked my head, "Check out Kyle, dude, all that work his mom makes him do pays off!"

I laughed, thinking of how girly we were acting and cringed in horror, "Oh God, look at Cartman!"

We both snickered violently as Cartman and Kyle started screaming at each other. Cartman was shirtless as well, sadly. As I've mentioned previously, Cartman's not such a fatass anymore, but he's still round-ish. I guess we're being overdramatic, but its fun teasing Cartman.

I jumped when I heard the spine-tingling voice,

"What're you laughing at, ho!?"

It wasn't noticed to much, except for the people around us, since everyone was talking at once, quite loudly. Whispers went through the crowd to shut up and watch the fight, and we were suddenly in silence.

I glared, climbing to my feet, crossing my arms over my chest, "Well, quite obviously, I'm laughing at you, lardass!"

"AYE! You will respect my _authoritah_!!"

"Who said?" My eyes narrowed.

"Me, that's who!"

"Well, to bad nobody cares what you say!" With this, I gave him a shove. Cartman is such a friggin' asshole, getting on everyone's case. Suddenly, he tumbled backwards and my eyes widened as he skidded out on the frozen Stark's Pond.

Since it was a sunny week, the sun began to thaw out Stark's Pond, so the ice was thin. And...

CRRRAAACKKKKK…

Screams and shouts arose as Cartman fell through the ice, into the cold, frosty waters. He burst from the surface, trying to get back onto the ice, and failing terribly. His fingers kept sliding off the ice, and under the water, and the fact he was overweight didn't help. I heard him cussing angrily, mostly to me, my mom, my sister, my ancestors, and my dog. But he sounded scared on top of all the anger.

I felt my heart pounding in my ears, blood rushing from my face and my brain emptying out useless thoughts, beginning to use the helpful ones. Immediately, I bolted towards the shore of Stark's Pond, grabbing the pile rope the dads use to go fishing once the ice had melted, and got on my stomach, edging out towards Cartman, ignoring the shouts of worry (or anger, on Craig's part) from my friends.

I pushed the end of the rope in Cartman's direction, "Grab the rope, fatass – I mean, Cartman! Hold on, _tight_!"

He, still cursing, obeyed and with all of my strength, I pulled. I guess all of my strength wasn't enough. I bit into my lip to keep myself from screaming as the rope burned through my skin, cutting my hands. Suddenly, I felt a pair of hands grab my ankles, pulling my back, and I glanced over to see Kimberly tugging at my legs, trying to help me. Kimberly? Wanting to save Cartman? Weird.

I spotted Craig slide out onto the ice like a penguin, a grin fit for a madman plastered on his face. Obviously, he was having the time of his life. He grabbed Kimberly's ankles, pulling as well.

Token, then Clyde, and then even _Tweek _slid out to help us heave Cartman out of the watery hell. More and more people added on to the chain and slowly, steadily, we made our way back to land.

Fellow classmates on shore had already gathered up items for us. I found myself drowned in heavy, warm blankets, and then a piece of pizza gestured to my face. I blinked rapidly, still taking in what was happening. I was attacked with hugs, shouts, and 'holy shit!'s, others who had participated in the chain being in similar positions as me.

Cartman sat on three blankets; six more wrapped around him, and was being fed hot soup…who the hell made soup anyway? His face was a blend of confused, angry, tired, and…a bit scared. I sighed, feeling suddenly bad for all of the things I've down to Cartman in the past. I swallowed the rest of my pizza, untangled my legs from the mess of blankets and headed over to where Cartman sat and uttered and meek,

"I…I'm really sorry, Cartman…"

The brown-haired boy glared up at me, eyes wide with complete and utter anger. He knocked the bowl of soup away that was being gestured to his mouth and stood up, screaming every unprinted name under the sun. It took Stan, Kenny, Craig, and Clyde, who all are on the football team, I might add, to hold him back from throwing me into Stark's Pond and beating anyone up who tried to save me.

Stan yanked at Cartman's arm, "Dude! She just saved your _life_!"

"Yeah, but she also tried to _end_ it, DAMNIT!" His fiery eyes settled upon my scared brown ones, "I'm gunna kill you, you know that!?"

I backed away slowly, "Um…ok?" Kimberly and Kaysha grabbed my arms, yanking me back to where I had abandoned my blankets.

Sera shook me violently, "THAT! WAS! AMAZING! Did you see yourself!? You were all heroine and everything!" As both Kaysha and Sera went into the animated reply of the Saving of Eric Cartman, Ivy patted my shoulder,

"That…was awesome."

I grinned at her, helping myself to another slice of pizza, "Were you in the chain of saving your cousin?"

Ivy shrugged, "No, I was sent to go run to the closest drug store to buy two jumbo Cheesy Poof bags for Cartman."

I chuckled, leaning against her shoulder, "Wow…he's such a asshole…" I drifted off into a deep, deep sleep.

* * *

I sighed, rubbing my forehead, looking at the time. Midnight on the dot. I couldn't fall asleep. I glanced out my window and saw Craig, drooling on his pillow in his sleep. I yawned, shuffling out of my bed and grabbing a pair of long sleep pants to replace my shorts. I opened my window and balanced myself on the windowsill, leapt onto the large tree branch, unlatched Craig's window, and climbed in. Easy.

Sneaking into other kids houses isn't really uncommon among us teenagers. We do it all the time. Call us insane, if you will…because we probably are.

I closed his window quietly, plopping down on the foot of his bed. After poking him in the head for a good five minutes, he awoke with a start. He blinked at me, wiping his mouth with his arm and rubbing his eyes. He said in a slur, "Ugh…whu time izit?"

"Midnight."

"Why the fuck are you here?"

I shrugged, "You know how easy it is to kill a person? I mean…I pushed the lard and he could've died and-"

"Ugh. Shut up and get in so I can keep back to sleep." He lifted the blanket lazily, shifting over.

I sighed and lay down next to him, almost immediately falling asleep.

* * *

"Mom's pissed at me 'cause I slept over at Craig's yesterday." I murmured with a yawn.

Cassandra nodded, rolling her eyes a bit, "Because I really care." She paused, "Nothing _happened_, right?"

"Of course nothing happened! God, people these days..."

Ava grinned, "Oh, yeah, because you know the _other_ days when people _weren't_ like this?"

I rolled my eyes at my two friends, raking my purple bangs back, only to have them fall back in my face, staying silent. I wasn't in the mood for letting people think they won.

* * *

"Wait for it...wait for it..."

Clyde and I sat next to each other in World History, watching Mr. Logan get up to start his usual lecture. I had my iTouch in hand, my hand over the 'play' button. As soon as he uttered on word, I pressed 'play' and immediatly, the Sex Pistols' _God Save The Queen_ blasted through the classroom. The class burst into laughter and Mr. Logan went red in the face,'

"Montgomery, Donovan! Was that you!?"

"O-nay, Ister-may Ogan-lay." Clyde grinned.

"Asn't-way ylde-Cay r-omay e-may." I added with a snort of amusement.

Pig Latin is fun.

* * *

**I just felt like I needed to add something to the end...**

**Whoa, this chapter came up pretty damn fast, I must say. Typed six pages on Word yesterday, and finished it up today. Impressive? No, not really, this just goes to show that I have no life whatsoever. Or at least I'm just not living my life.**

**I don't have much to say here...I watched a few episodes of South Park on the SP website and that pretty much gave me the motivaton to finish up this chapter quick. **

**Kaysha Black: **Miss Shopaholic

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Cassandra Nightwish: **dark child 1995

**Ivy Valmont: **Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera": **XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson: **JVM-sp150

**Dunno when the next chapter will be up...if I get inspiration I will type faster. This story is coming to a close in a few chapters, so I'll try to make those the very best,**

**Hugs and kisses,**

**KB**


	17. Arizona Beaches, Lucille

* * *

"AHHHHH!"

How many times have I screamed these past two days? The answer is a lot. Wednesday is the day of today, and Cartman is chasing me. Again. Trying to rip my head off.

I scrambled around a corner, slipping onto my stomach, but quickly catching myself with my hands, glancing over my shoulder, total, total fear in my eyes. Random papers and even a book or two flew out of my backpack as I continued my dash down the hallway. I could hear Cartman's heavy breathing as he charged after me.

Well, on the bright side, I looked pleasantly fashionable. I wore my favorite black skinny jeans tucked into my black combat boots with white straps, and my black tee shirt that said 'As Seen in Playboy' and then the Playboy bunny. Bebe got it for me for last year's birthday, the dear. My bangs are snow white, today. I also had white bandages wrapped around my hands because they had rope cuts in them when I pulled Cartman out of the water.

And, on the bad side, Cartman is an asshole. You would be scared out of your mind to if you were the one who pushed him into frozen waters.

I kicked open the front school doors with a loud bang, running through the courtyard, looking for an escape. I spotted a fancy purple car only rich people can afford and realized it was Token's. Well, no duh, it had a gold 'T' on the side door. I bolted towards it, wrenched open the door and dived in,

"DRIVE, BOY, DRIVE!"

I sighed in relief once we were out of earshot of Cartman's screams. I sat up, leaning against the soft headrest and paused when I noticed something out of place…

I looked at Token.

"You got a car?"

Token grinned at me, "Yep, bought it yesterday. Don't worry, your first to get shotgun."

I pumped a fist and turned around in my seat to see Craig, Clyde, and Tweek lounging in the backseat, "Ah, the gangs all here. Where are we headin?"

"Well, we can go anywhere we want, now that Token's got a set of wheels, and we can come back whenever we wanna!" Craig grinned his Craigness. See, we all have a 'ness', somehow, and it always shows off when you smile. Craig-ness, Clyde-ness, Token-ness, Tweek-ness, Lucy-Lou-ness, ect.

"No, actually, I gotta get back home around 7. Mom's making tacos." Guess who that was (Clyde).

"Oh. Okay."

"S-s-so where are –EURGH! – are we going to go?" Tweek gulped from his thermos.

Token shrugged, "Dunno, just joyride. Outside of South Park, of course."

We all agreed it was a good idea. We needed to get out of the mountain town anyway. The last time I've been out of South Park was when I visited my hometown, I mean city, of New York, and that was last summer. Everyone needs to take a break from South Park, or you'll turn into some hick with a beer belly…and nobody wants that to happen.

* * *

We all sat on the hood of Token's car, sipping Budweisers. Yeah, yeah, you all are "OH SHIT YOU SHOULDN'T DRINK BEER YOUR ONLY FIFTEEN!"

And going on sixteen.

I had my first sip at age eight – a Hamms, I'm pretty sure, it was by accident, I swear! I had my first _drink_ at age – a Heineken, I believe it was. Leave it to Bugs to challenge me to a chugging contest with apple juice, only she swapped my juice with beer.

Its not like I'm an alcoholic. I just like having a drink once in a while. Craig just calls it rebelling.

I blinked, my bottle to my lips, about to take a drink, when I saw a four little boys in swimming trunks run past the car, armed with water guns, one with black hair and dark blue swim trunks, another with brown hair in red swim trunks, the third with dark brown in purple swim trunks, and the last with blonde hair in olive green swim trunks. The black-haired one turned sharply to blow a raspberry at someone before taking off again, cackling. A little girl, looking slightly pissed and slightly cheerful (an odd mix), chased after them, in a lime green bathing suit, holding a water gun as well. She had pigtails. I sighed. I used to wear pigtails just like those. Then…I almost spit out my beer. That little girl _was_ me! Ugh. My brain must be real powerful, projecting memories like that. Damn, I wonder if my brain has an 'off' switch…

Clyde nudged me in the ribs, "What's wrong with you?"

"Head hurts…to much thinking…" I mumbled, taking another sip of beer. I don't really think Bud is the best cure for headaches, but it sure does numb it down a bit.

Token tipped some beer into his mouth, "We should go on vacation or something, some place fun, away from South Park, away from Colorado, even. Just the five of us, y'know?"

Token always comes up with the best ideas.

Craig grinned, "Yeah! Now with this baby," He patted Token's car, "We can go anywhere!"

"W-what about money? ACK!" Tweek frowned nervously.

Token snorted, shaking his head, "Hell, you guys are paying for gas money."

"Well, if we're going on vacation," Clyde rubbed his chin, "We need to find a good place. Not to close, but not to far."

"Arizona?" I suggested happily. I hear it's sunny all day long there.

* * *

"So we decided on Arizona, eventually." I chatted into my phone as practiced shuffling and dealing playing cards on my desk, "We'll take Token's shiny new car."

Kaysha chuckled, "Cool, when are you leaving? Over next week's break, right? That's the only time we have off…"

"Yep. Hey, nature's calling, I'll bid you ado."

"See ya, Luce."

* * *

Well, after that little talk with Kaysha, word got around that Craig, Clyde, Token, Tweek and I are heading to Arizona over the school break next week, so that means practically our whole year is coming with us. Well, at least everyone I know. As in Bebe, Wendy, Pip, Timmy, Jimmy, Damien, Annie, Bill, Fosse, Bradley, Heidi, Rebecca and Mark (who aren't home schooled anymore), Jason, Kevin, Leroy, Lola, Gregory, Christophe, Nelly, Red, Sally, Terrance, John, Kaysha, Sera, Ava, Cassandra, and Ivy are all coming to Arizona (in different cars, obviously).

I bet this is going to be wonderful. Ha. Hahaha.

* * *

"Yes, _Pam_, I'M LOOKING AT THE STENCILS AND _I'M NOT HAPPY_!" I snarled into my phone as I glared disgustingly at the overly large boxes I was supposed to put my comics in. Did I mention I'm the cartoonist for the _SPH Voice_? It's our school newspaper. So Pam, my editor, suddenly decides to make the comic page bigger, therefore making bigger comics. And I make my comics regular newspaper-size…as usual.

Token was going to kill me if I didn't move my butt outside, into his car. But stupid _Pam_ was holdin' me up!

"Fuck off, damnit!" I screeched into the phone and hung up, chucking it into my vacation bag. I cringed as I heard Token's impatient beeping of his car horn and I grabbed my sunglasses from my dresser, gave my room one last look to see if I forgot anything, and I grinned, running down the stairs.

Today is the first day of the mega road trip/vacation of the century. The trip will take a total estimate of 10 whole hours, so I brought bags of food and entertainment, and it's a good thing Token's car was a DVD screen or we'd die of boredom.

Craig was waiting in my kitchen, helping himself to the grapes. He grinned at me, "'Bout time you got down here. Token's annoyed and Tweek thinks you died in your sleep or something."

I rolled my eyes and handed him two of my thousands of bags, "Here, start with these." Craig nodded, carrying my bags outside. I was about to grab two more to help, but Mom stopped my suddenly,

"Honey, I need you to talk to Bugs."

My eyes widened as I whined, "_Moooom_, I'm about to leave!"

"_Now_, Lucy. Its about boys."

"Mom, she's only ten!"

"No, not the Talk, just about dating, and the kind of boys not to date. She's going through a rough patch. And anyway, how old were you when I gave _you_ the Talk?"

My eyes narrowed, "_Nine_. And I'm now scarred for life, thanks!" I already knew most stuff about sex by the time I was nine, thanks to living in South Park for two years. But to hear it from Mom? Sweet Jesus.

"Just talk to her!" She faced the living room, were Bugs sat on the couch, scowling at the TV as if it shot her best friend, "Bugs! Your sister wants to talk to you!"

Bugs dragged her bones into the kitchen, glaring up at me, "What?"

I sat her down, taking a deep breath, "Ok, Bugs, here are the five kind of guys you should never ever date. First, the Patrick Bateman. He'll build up your confidence, only to tear it down. He'll screw your friends, steal money from your purse and make you feel two inches tall, which, ironically enough, is probably the size of his member. He might actually turn out to be a axe-wielding maniac with a taste for Phil Collins-era Genesis."

Bugs snorted, crossing her arms over her chest. But she looked interested enough.

"Second is the group of guys I like to call the Cougar Hunters. This guy likes his women like his wine -- full-bodied and approaching menopause. Always eager to visit your parents for Thanksgiving, and a little too familiar with Diane Lane's career. Hell, he might even be plowing his seed in the other watermelon patch, if you know what I mean."

Bugs laughed, "You seriously think I'd date a guy like that?"

"Yes. Now shut up, I'm rushing." Craig appeared at the doorway again, grabbing a few more of my bags. I continued, "Third is the Marv Albert…as in the kind of guy that has a taste for all things kinky, much like everyone's favorite panty-wearing sportscaster. He's into all the weird stuff that you laugh about with your friends, the stuff you would never in a million years want to be involved in."

"Fourth, The Stifler. He's the ultimate frat boy, and still loves to party despite the fact that he's probably a good two years older than you. He chugs PBR without a hint of irony, and thinks Will Ferrell doesn't make enough sports comedies. He might be fun to occasionally play flip cup with in an effort to relive your college years, but he's mostly just sad. Known to subsist strictly on a diet of pizza and burritos. Disgusting."

"Fifth, the Poo Face. He'll be checking his watch every ten minutes and asks you if you want to go yet, he wouldn't want to dance, he has a permanent scowl, and no, he is never, ever amused. Ironically, he'll claim he's had a great time."

I ruffled her hair, "Memorize what I just said and have a great time avoiding these guys, okay? Bye!"

I grabbed the remaining bags and raced outside threw them into the trunk of Token's car, shut the trunk, and jumped in, next to the driver, "Lets roll!"

Token rolled his eyes, "'Bout time…"

"Shush and hush."

* * *

_I've been drivin' all night, my hand's wet on the wheel_

_There's a voice in my head that drives my heel_

_It's my baby callin', says I need you here_

_And it's half past four and I'm shifting gear_

Have I ever told you what my favorite song is? Well it's _'Radar Love'_ by the Golden Earring. The most epic song ever, and the _ultimate_ driving song. We've been driving for four and a half hours now and it's been great.

My window was roll down, the wind whipping into my face, blowing my hair wild. I sang along with the Golden Earring,

"The radio's playing some forgotten song…Brenda Lee's "Coming on Strong"! The road's got me hypnotized, and I'm speeding into a new sunrise! When I get lonely, and I'm sure I've had enough, she sends her comfort, comin' in from above! Don't need no radio at all, we've got a thing that's called radar love, we've got a line in the skyyyy! Radar love…"

Now this was the life…we're not even on the beaches yet and I'm already enjoying myself! The sun above my head and the…car beneath my feet! I heard a familiar voice,

"Hey, Luce, nice vocals!"

I looked out my window to see Stan Marsh waving at me from his shiny red, quite new car. Kyle sat next to him, with Kenny and Cartman in the back. I grinned, waving back and leaned out of my car window, peering behind us to see six more cars following us, loud noises of obnoxious teenagers filling the air. Ah…such a soothing noise.

Bebe, Wendy, Nelly, and Red were all in Bebe's pink bug, Annie, Heidi, Rebecca, Sally, and Lola were in Heidi's new white convertible, Kaysha, Sera, Ava, Cassandra, and Ivy were all in Kaysha's red convertible, Pip, Timmy, Jimmy, Damien, John, Butters, and Bradley, were all in Damien's shiny black car that had flames on the sides, Bill, Fosse, Mark, Jason, and Leroy were all in Leroy's blue van, Kevin, Gregory, Christophe, and Terrance were all in Christophe's tuff Jeep.

Yep…the gang's all here.

I waved at them all and sat back in my car, grinning madly, "Okay, we're all here! This vacation has officially begun!"

I grinned, watching the amusing scene. We were the only cars on the road, so we were able to drive up next to each other, talking, laughing, and throwing bags of food into each other's cars…a lot of Cheesy Poof bags were thrown at Stan's car, for Cartman.

Kaysha drove up next to my window, grinning up at me, "Enjoying yourself, Luce?"

I grinned at her, "Hell yeah! Hey, you have any meat mix? Clyde's making tacos…"

Kaysha called over her shoulder, "Meat mix, Ivy!" She turned back to me, "You have a box of donuts? I need sugar…"

We traded food choices and Token decided to drive over next to Stan's car, and me and Kenny started singing along to _'Born to Be Wild' _by Steppenwolf, which was blasting out of Stan's speakers,

_I like smoke and lightning  
Heavy metal thunder  
Racin' with the wind  
And the feelin' that I'm under  
Yeah Darlin' go make it happen  
Take the world in a love embrace  
Fire all of your guns at once  
And explode into space!_

_Like a true nature's child  
We were born, born to be wild  
We can climb so high  
I never wanna die _

Born to be wild  
Born to be wild!

Car rides are always fun. I just can't wait 'till we get to the beaches…

* * *

We arrived to our Arizona resort at around 8:45pm, but none of us were tired. So we spent a lot of the night in the hotel's game room, playing pool, poker, blackjack, and horsing around like any teenager would do. I'll have time to be a beach-towel-bimbo tomorrow.

* * *

_YaaaWWNNNNN_…

I sat up in my bed, rubbing my eyes and looked around, smiling wearily. The beach hotel was wonderful – first class service, comfortable beds, excellent food. We all pitched in to help…well, Token pitched in the most.

"_Why are we going to Arizona anyway?" Ivy wondered. It was the day before break started, and we were all eagerly waiting in class, "Why not Hawaii, or California?"_

_Stan snorted, "Yeah, like we have enough money to go to those places."_

"_Maybe Token can pay for us!" I grinned at Token, who said, quite bluntly, _

"_Hell. No."_

"_Selfish black asshole!" Cartman snapped. Token shoved him out of his chair._

I dug around in my bathing suit bag (yep, a whole bag for bathing suits), finally finding the one I liked – a bikini with a halter strap. It had a black base, and tiny paint splatters of neon colors across it. Even though the boys (Craig, Clyde, Token, Tweek) were asleep, I was careful. I changed in the bathroom and died my bangs multiple neon stripes.

I pulled on jean short shorts over my bikini bottoms, grabbed my sunglasses, packed up my beach tote bag and headed over to Kaysha, Kimberly, Sera, Ivy, Ava, and Cassandra's room, knocking cheerfully.

Cassandra answered the door, also in her swim apparel, with a smile, calling over her shoulder, "Hey, Lucy's here!"

I grinned, "Yeah, I didn't feel like listening to the boys snore. Whats going on over here?"

Cassandra shrugged, "Nothing much. We were just waking Ivy up, and then we were going to wake everyone else up to get down to that free breakfast bar…"

"Yum." I laughed, watching Ava bang two pots together above Ivy's head, but the redhead wouldn't stir. Kaysha, Kimberly, Sera, Ava, and Cassandra were all in their swimsuits and had a beach bag with them. Ivy was in her pajamas and hugging a teddy bear.

I rolled my eyes and pushed the curtains open, thrusting the window open and pointed dramatically out the window, "HOLY SHIT, ITS KYLE IN THE NUDEY!"

Ivy sprang to her feet, almost falling out the window, "WHERE!?"

I pulled her back, "Shut up, loser, get dressed."

She sighed and flicked me in the head.

* * *

"FLYING PANCAKE!"

I ducked, laughing, as a syrupy pancake flew in Craig's direction, landing nicely onto his plate. Craig gave Clyde a grin and the finger, "Nice shot, bud! FLYING FRENCH TOAST!" Craig shot several French toast sticks at Clyde with a grin.

This was only one display of obnoxious-ness at the breakfast table. I just can't believe we were in Arizona…amazing, "C'mon, guys, lets hit the beach!"

* * *

I shoved my jean shorts off, chucking my sunglasses in my bag, and made a beeline for the water. Its practically tradition…whenever I go to the beach (which is very rare) I'm always the first one in the water, no matter what. Even if I don't want to go, I just go. Its instinct, by now!

I dived into the waves, laughing in spite of myself, and emerged from the water, shaking my wet hair, "Waters freakishly cold! Come!"

Craig stood by the waters edge, let it wash up on his toes, and he took a rather large step back. He looked at me with a glare and flipped me off and went off to go eat a hotdog (hotdogs after breakfast? What the fuck…). Nice guy.

Well, Kimberly and Ivy soon joined me and we started doing handstands in the shallow water. We got out of the way just in time as Cartman cannonballed into the water, splashing our laughing selves. John was boldly next to come in, and I took it upon myself to dunk his head under the water and then we got ideas – chicken fight. It's even cooler in the ocean.

I climbed onto John's shoulders as Kimberly climbed onto Cartman's and the fight began. Kimberly and I grabbed each other's arms as we valiantly tried to knock each other over, while the boys struggled to keep us above water.

The fight was long and hard, but Cartman gave John and extra hard push and we collapsed backwards. This seemed to break the ice and everyone started to join us in the water, chicken fighting, splashing, and just floating around in the water happily.

After a while, Kimberly and I decided to take a break, sitting on our beach towels, munching on apples. I grinned at her, poking her shoulder lightly, "So…you looked like you were enjoying yourself out there. Spent an awful 'lotta time with Cartman."

Kimberly rolled her eyes, "Oh, please. Get a life."

"I do have a life."

"Then _live it_."

I grinned tauntingly, "In denial, I say."

"Whatever."

I shrugged and threw my apple core in a nearby trashcan, moving my beach towel from under the umbrella and out into the Arizona sun, lying down, "Whatever right back atcha. I need a tan."

* * *

I yelped as I felt cold hands grab me by the waist, waking me up and hoisting me into the air. I opened my eyes in time to see John's grinning face. He was soaked to the bone,

"Enough tanning, you need to cool off."

My eyes widened as I tried to move out of his grasp, "Tucker, don't even think about it!"

"What're you talkin' bout? I'm doing it!"

I screamed as he launched me into the waves. What a nice guy.

I emerged from the waves, spitting out icky salt water from my mouth. Oh, he is _so_ going to pay. I tackled him, bringing him down into the water with me.

* * *

"Well, who do you think makes a good couple?" I looked at Kaysha curiously. She shrugged,

"Dunno." She paused, staring into the impressive bonfire the boys made before giggling and whispering to me, "Don't tell Kimmy I said this, but I bet her and Cartman would be funny _and_ cute!"

Kaysha has always been open-minded about a lot of things, and I respect that. And she might be right about this one.

"Are we playing Cupid already? This is _Cartman _and _Kimberly_, Kaysha! The two most stubborn people in the universe! We're really going to try?"

"Yepsidoodles, Luce, and this time its gonna work!"

* * *

"KYLE!"

I jogged over to wear Ivy and Kyle were chatting, which happened to be the lobby of the hotel. I ignored the glare from the receptionist, who was probably angry because I was soaking wet and dripping all of the shiny floors. It wasn't my fault I had to swim through a bazillion people, trying to find a certain Eric Cartman. I bet it would've been so much easier to find Kimberly, but what Kaysha says goes, and Kaysha said that she looks for Kimberly and I look for Cartman.

I snickered a bit when I saw Kyle's face was slightly flushed. Maybe because Ivy is wearing only an electric blue bikini? Probably. This is kinda funny, because this morning Ivy was moaning that she looked to fat. But then Cassandra told her to picture Cartman in a speedo, and Ivy stopped whining after that.

He turned to me, "Hey, Luce, whats up?"

I caught my breath before asking, "You know where Cartman is?"

I could literally _see _the happiness (and color) flood out of Kyle's face at the very _mention_ of the chubby boy's name. Jeez, I wonder what smartass comment he said to Kyle today.

"Why would I know?"

Ivy added cheerfully, "Or care?"

I rolled my eyes, "Okay, then do you know where Kenny is? He'll know."

Kyle paused before nodding, "Yeah, he's by the hotdog stand on the beach with Clyde and John, they're checking out girls."

Ivy chuckled, "Kenny actually called out of some girl to 'take it off'."

I sighed, rolling my eyes again, but this time good-naturedly, "Typical Kenny. Ok, thanks guys!"

I headed off, back towards the beach…

* * *

**You laaaaike?**

**Well, I do. Yep, an actual chapter of this story I actually like! Whoo-hoo!**

**Well, I can see you are closing in on me with your knives, ready to kill me for taking the setting from our beloved South Park. Don't worry, my dears, we'll be back in in the chapter after the next. I was just getting a little bored in Maths one day, and this idea attacked and took over my brain...**

**So now were in ARIZONA, BABY!**

**As you can see, Kaysha and Lucy are going to try the impossible - getting Eric Cartman and Kimberly Shao together. It will be a hard task...but they will try!**

**Speaking of the lovely OCs...**

**Kaysha Black: **Miss Shopaholic

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Cassandra Nightwish: **dark child 1995

**Ivy Valmont: **Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera": **XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson: **JVM-sp150

**And I wanna give special thankies to **Cartooncutie16**, who helped me a bunch with this chapter, via IMs. Your lovely, my dahling! Kyle scene just for you ;)**

**I've covered everything? Great. This story will just have to deal with a few more romances, both canon and non-canon, and then I'll be done *sobs*. **

**Happy reading, luvvies,**

**KB**


	18. Kisses and Fireworks, Lucille

"YO, KENNY!"

I dodged through the crowds of people walking by the food stand, which Kenny, John, and Clyde leaned against. Of course, I fell a few times in the process, cursed a few people out, gave others the finger, but I reached them eventually.

"Hey hot stuff, whats up?"

I glanced around, "You know where Cartman's at?"

"Why do you care?"

I explained to the three me and Kaysha's plan to get Kimmy and Cartman together. They looked at each other, having an eye-discussion, before looking back at me with grins. Kenny rubbed his chin curiously, "Interesting plan." He raised a fist, "I shall go tell the others! FORWARD, MEN! See ya, fuck buddy." The three ran off, grinning madly and I sighed contently. If anyone could spread a plan, it was Kenny. But then I realized they didn't tell me where Cartman was. Damn. But I called after them,

"DON'T LET KIMBERLY OR CARTMAN KNOW!"

"Let me know what, ho?"

I turned sharply to see Eric Cartman standing there, his arms crossed expectantly, his eyes narrowed suspiciously. I blinked before lying quickly; "There's an all-you-can-eat buffet at the hotel tonight. I just knew that you and Kimberly would eat everything." So it wasn't a complete lie. There was an all-you-can-eat buffet at the hotel tonight, and Cartman probably _would_ eat everything.

He scoffed, "I knew that already!" He was about to storm off, but I grabbed his arm, dragging him a bit,

"Well, while you're here and don't have any intentions to kill me (yet), we need to talk." I said, patting the boy's back. I glanced at the dude at the food stall, "Set this guy up with a few hamburgers, would ya?"

Cartman glared at me suspiciously, mumbling something about conspiracies, as I took him over to one of the plastic tables with the large umbrellas over them, sitting him down. I began small talk, but once the hamburgers arrived, I knew they would soothe him long enough to yank some information out of them.

"Kimberleh? Who the fuck cares about that mutt?" He snarled, swallowing a bite of hamburger.

I had my hands folded patiently. I was kind of expecting this sort of thing from Cartman. "I bet you do!"

"No, ah DON'T." Bite, swallow. "She's a mean bitch."

"The only reason you're an ass to her is because she's mean to _you_?"

"She started it!" He shouted, picking up another greasy hamburger and launching into a full-length rage on Kimberly and her 'bitchy-ness'. I resisted the temptation the roll my eyes and continued to listen to his rant. I tuned out, glancing around the outdoor food court and saw Kaysha dragging Kimberly towards the food stand. My eyes widened and I waved an arm (thankfully going unnoticed by Cartman). She noticed me and froze (causing Kimberly to run into her) and turned sharply around, dragging Kimmy after her. Woah…close call.

I looked back at Cartman, "So your saying she started it while you did?"

"No, SHE did, goddamnit!"

"Uh…huh. Anyway, Kimberly isn't really the reason I wanted to talk to you." Liar, liar, pants on fire! "This girl…uh, Kandy, really, _really _likes you and thinks your _mad_ hot, and she wants to meet you by the hotel pool tonight at 9:00pm!" Just according to plan…Kaysha would be telling Kimberly the same think (about a guy named Carl), and then when they meet each other by the romantic poolside, things should just click. After the all-you-can-eat buffet, so they could be a little ditzy and wouldn't have their common sense anymore.

Cartman look at me, stuffing another hamburger into his mouth. He swallowed, "Faine. She better be smokin' hot or I'll kill you, Luceh."

I nodded, smiling, "Yeah, yeah. I'll see you, Cartman." I walked away, grinning, leaving him with the bill for the hamburgers.

* * *

"Wait, so Kimberly…and Cartman…together? As, like, a couple?"

Ivy slurped on her mango milkshake as we sat on stools in front of the 'Tiki Shack', which I now deem the best milkshake mixers in the world.

I nodded, drinking my strawberry/banana smoothie, "Yeah. Kaysha and I are on a mission. Right now, she should be telling Kimberly to meet some hot, buff guy named Carl at the hotel's poolside at 9:00pm."

"Wow, Luce, that's mighty fine trickery right there…"

"Don't I know it."

* * *

"You know we have a large chance of getting roaring drunk in there?" I looked at Craig wearily. It was around 7:00pm, buffet time. I was dressed in simple jean shorts and my Sex Pistols tee shirt. My hair was dyed multiple colors and looped up into a messy bun.

He shrugged, "Who cares?"

* * *

Well, I was right. Everyone else was drunk, and I was half way there.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia, let me go! Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for MEEEEEE!"

Somehow, the Bohemian Rhapsody came over the speakers and everyone started singing along…seriously, who doesn't know the lyrics to that song? I remember Token and I started singing it in a boring P.E. class and everyone else joined in. Then Coach K made us run 50 laps around the gym.

"So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye…So you think you can love me and leave me to die! Oh baby, can't do this to me baby! Just gotta get out – just gotta get right outta here!"

We started to parade around the room. I hope the hotel people won't make us clean up the mess we're making…

"OOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOOoooo! Nothing really matters…anyone can see…" I screamed as I was hoisted above the heads of my friends, but then started to body surf, enjoying it, "Nothing really matters…nothing really mattteeersss….to meeeee!!" I giggled drunkenly as I was lowered onto Craig's shoulders, and, even more drunkenly, started to chant,

"USA! USA! USA! USA!"

Everyone else soon started to join in and John started to down a bottle of liqour. Poor boy. He's gonna have a hella've a hangover tomorrow. I giggled, looking at Butters puke green. The guy can't hold his beer, I guess…

I felt a yank at my sleeve and looked down to see Kaysha looking at me urgently, pointing to the clock. 8:50pm? Already? Well, that sobered me up pretty quickly.

I practically fell off of Craig's shoulders in my mad dash to get to the hotel pool. Somehow, Ivy, Ava, Sera, and Cassandra caught up with us. Ivy must've told them our master plan.

I snapped out my arms, making my friends skid to a stop and slowly, we peered around the corner. The pool is a very pretty place. It was a hottub next to it, which has pretty scented candles around it. The ultimate romance spot.

Kimberly was coming through the doors across the room from us, dressed all classy, her brown curls bouncing with every step. Kaysha grinned proudly. She must've helped Kimmy get ready. Cassandra whispered to me, "Where's Cartman?"

I glanced at my watch. 8:56pm. Damnit, where is the fatass!?

"He should be coming…"

We all puffed a sigh of relief as Cartman casually walked in through the door Kimberly had entered through…he scowled at Kimberly,

"Aye! Ho, what're you doin' here!?"

Kimberly spun around, eyes wide, "Well, excuse me, fatass, I think I can go wherever I want! Why aren't you stuffing your face with food at the buffet?!"

"I was! But than I had to get ready for mah hot date!" He smirked at the last part.

Kimberly crossed her arms, "Who would want to date you?"

"Apparently some chick named Kandy. Who are you here, mutt?"

"Well, _I _have a date with a guy named Carl! Ha! Think of all those times when you said I would never be able to get a date, fatass!"

"AY!"

Sera grinned, brushing her fringe bangs out of her sight path, "Wait for it…"

"FUCK YOU KAYSHA!"

"DAMNIT LUCEH!"

Well, I guess it clicked that this was all a trick to get them to see each other…

Cartman glared at Kimberly, "What's got sand in your vagina?" Kimberly scowled at nothing inparticular,

"I bet Kaysha and Lucy were in this together. What did I ever do to them!?"

I smiled, muttering, "Its for your own good, honey…" I paused, looking down at the tiled pool floor, shuffling back a bit so we could stay out of sight. Was it for her own good? Cartman is, and never really has, been boyfriend material. He's not sweet, he's not caring, he's not loving. And if you ever see him being any of those three, he's probably faking it.

_How do you know that for sure_?

I blinked as a little me appeared on my left shoulder, dressed in a white toga and had wings. Oh dear…it's the voices in my head.

**Well, Angel, do you pay attention half the time? He's an asshole! When Lucy here saved his life he tried to murder her! **

A little devil-me appeared on my right shoulder…my bad side.

SHE was the one who pushed him into Stark's Pond, wouldn't you be pissed off if he did that to you?

**Well, duh. But **_**still**_**…**

The boy has never has had a girlfriend! How do you know that he can't be a good boyfriend if you don't have any proof, Devil?

**I don't need proof, Angel, because I have enough proof that he's an assmaster!**

Give him a chance!

I scowled, thinking mentally, Okay you friggin' Jimminy Crickets, time to shuuuut up! Is there a switch to make you guys fuck off!?

They both said

_**No**_

But they fucked off anyway.

Sera whispered to me, "Did you ever think that…this might not work?" I glanced at her and then back at Kimberly and Cartman. I shrugged. Kaysha said quietly,

"If it doesn't work, Cassandra and I have came up with plan numero dos."

"Tell us later. Lets bail." Ava sighed.

* * *

Spring! Plop…Spring! Plop…Spring!…Plop…Spri-

"AH!" I yelped as hands shot out at me mid-jump, grabbing my waist and pulling me down. Craig refused to open his eyes, but he scowled all the same as he hugged me, "Stop. Jumping."

I sighed. It was around 11:00 in the morning, and nobody has woken up yet, besides me, of course. Even Tweek was passed out on the couch. Craig somehow managed to claim a bed in our room, Clyde was on the floor, and Token was sprawled across another bed.

I rolled out of Craig's grasp, landing lightly on the floor and got to my feet. I was still in my pajamas – a Terrance and Phillip tee shirt and blue sleeping pants,

"Fine, be a butthole, Craig!"

I grabbed my room key, walking out of the room. I went down the hallway, knocking on room 897. I was greeted by the cheerful face of Kimberly Shao,

"Hey Lucy-Lou, what's up?"

I blinked. She wasn't mad, "I'm hungry…you got eats?" Weird…maybe I should leave…

"Yep! I'm cooking up some waffles right now!"

Well, y'can't turn down free food!

I grinned, strolling in and my eyes widened at the scene before me. The kitchen was filled with breakfast foods – waffles, strawberries, bananas, pancakes, milk, juice, cereal, French toast, and a bunch of other stuff.

"Um…are you expecting someone?"

Kimberly just shrugged, going over to the counter to mix some waffle batter. I peered into the bedroom/living room area. Kaysha, Sera, Ava, and Ivy were all passed out on their beds, and I heard the squeak of shower knobs turning off. Cassandra must've been taking a shower.

Kimberly pointed towards the bedroom, "Can you wake them up, Luce?"

"Uh…sure." Still freaked out, I headed towards the bedroom and started jumping on everyones beds until they woke up. Ivy started swatting me with a pillow,

"Why," swat! "Don't," swat! "You!" swat! "Ever!" swat! "GET FUCKING HANGOVERS?!" swat-swat-swat!

Its true, I don't really get hangovers that much. Just a buzzing sound in my ear.

I waved the redhead's pillow away as Cassandra emerged from the bathroom, fully clothed and pulling a brush through her wet hair, "Kimmy says we have to get our asses outta here, we're getting breakfast downstairs."

Ava yawned, stretching her arms, "Okie dokie…lets get outta here."

We all exited the hotel room, bickering on what was better – waffles or pancakes…when I ran into something. Someone.

"Ay! Get outta my way."

I watched Cartman walked by my, almost stepping on me. Ava helped me up, "Weird…he didn't even hit you or anything."

I nodded slowly as we proceeded down the hallway, "Wonder why he's up so early. He usually sleeps 'till 12."

We chuckled as we headed towards the morning breakfast.

* * *

"Yeah Mom…yes, I'm fine…no, I don't have a headache…no, I don't have a cold…no, I don't have a cold…MOM! I'm _fine_…"

I groaned as I paced the hotel lobby, my mom babbling away via cell phone. It was 12 – a typical time for the parents to call. So almost everyone was on their cellphones, chatting away.

"How's Bugs? Of course…she _WHAT_? Blew up a _TREE_? Oh…almost…okay…"

Bugs, with her sidekick Ike, has always had a knack for making things crack, break, explode, or disenigrate. Annoying, hilarious, stupid…

"No…I'm going to the beach! Yeah, I'm leaving right now! Okay…walk Peppermint Patty, okay? Love you…bye."

I hung up with a sigh and took the nearest person's arm (Sera's arm), "Lets roll, honey."

* * *

I sighed, loving the feeling of the sun against my skin. I could practically feel myself tanning.

Today – tanning day. We laid our towels out in one straight line, the whole class in one very long straight line across the beach, and all we did was tan. Some of us had iPods or boomboxes, soom of us had food and drinks, and some of us just slept. But by the time we get back to South Park, we'll stick out like a bruise on an apple.

"Dude."

I titled my head towards Craig, "Yeah?"

"You wanna go chill in the hottub tonight?"

I smiled lazily, "Yeah. That'd be nice."

* * *

"Escorts?"

I walked between Clyde and Token, who had their arms linked with mine.

"Chaperones." Token corrected with a shrug.

"…what?"

Clyde sighed, rolling his eyes a bit, "Your mom called and said that if I go on any more dates with Craig, you have to be chaperoned by Token and I, for reasons I don't quite understand. Maybe she thinks Craig is gonna rape you." The two boys chuckled manically. Freaks.

"Seriously?"

"Pretty much." Token nodded, "But Clyde over here has another reason."

"You haven't even kissed yet! Jesus…"

"Shut up, Clyde."

* * *

"I can't believe we're leaving the day after tomorrow…"

I sighed, sinking further into the hottub. My hair was tied messily at the top of my head, and YES, I'M NOT STUPID I'm in a bathing suit.

"We'll need to do something big, won't we?" Craig questioned, glancing at me.

"Yep. Definatly." I nodded.

So we'll need to do something big. Something niiice and big.

* * *

I shrugged as I buried the bottom part of the firecracker in the sand, "Well, it was Token's idea really. And since it was Token's idea, he bought the fireworks."

Cassandra and Kaysha followed me down the beach as I set up more fireworks, along with the others in our year. Cassandra questioned, "Are the fireworks gonna say something? Or just pretty sparkles everywhere?"

"Oh, you'll see. We'll have to watch from the hotel roof, that's where the best view will be. Clyde has the button, when he presses it all of the fireworks will go off. Roof party. We must go. Now." I waited for the others to finish up with the fireworks and smiled once everything was perfectly in place,

"Sweet! C'MON EVERYONE, TO THE ROOF, THE PARTY HAS ALREADY STARTED!"

We raced up to the roof in a minium of five minutes (probably a world record) and I grinned, pushing my way towards Craig, hugging him.

He peered down at me curiously, "What?"

"Am I not allowd to hug you?"

"…whatever."

I sighed contently, continuing to hug him for at least another 10 minutes as he talked with Stan. Suddenly, Clyde's voice rang out above the noise,

"GUYS! FIREWORKS IN 10, 9, 8…"

We counted down to 1 and at that, the beach seemed to explode. Fireworks (that Token paid for) sped up into the air, spelling out

'ARIZONA WE LOVE YOU! NOW WE'RE GONNA FUCK OFF!'

Touching. Truly touching. I clicked a button I had in my pocket. The one I paid for all by myself. Smaller lettering in the sky, a bit harder to see, but still legiable.

'I LOVE YOU. I REALLY, REALLY DO. LOVE, LUCY'

Well, it was true. I'm sure I'm in love with Craig by now.

Suddenly, Craig kissed me. I could feel the fireworks in my own tummy.

* * *

**That pretty much wraps it up for Arizona, my darlings. Every untold mystery will unfold in South Park, including Crucy reactions, Kimberly and Cartman mystery, and then...well, I can't really tell you, its a big surprise. **

**A few things I have to say. First,** Kaysha's World **by** Miss Shopaholic **is an excellent story, go read it NOW, and **BiracialBeauty **has a new story as well, titled **Stuck With the Fat Guy! **Both these stories have Lucy in them. Sweet! And then there's **JVM-sp150**'s story, **The Story With No Plot **(John is very good at choosing creative titles), which I shall enter Lucy's OCness in right after I upload this chapter. And...who else? Oh yeah, **dark child 1995 **has a story about South Park's recent episode, 'The Coon'! It also welcomes OCs, I love it. And then...um...oh yeah! **Mutt's Story**, by **Mutt13**, very well-written, very awesome. Annnd, **Cartooncutie16** is writing a story that will have Lucy in it. YAYYY. I love to see the 'OCs Welcome' thing is spreading ^^ Just hope other SP fans aren't pissed off that the SP section is overloading with OCs.**

**Speaking of all these people, a few of them have OCs in this story:**

**Kaysha Black: **Miss Shopaholic

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Cassandra Nightwish: **dark child 1995

**Ivy Valmont: **Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera": **XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson: **JVM-sp150

**Lets see...oh yes, much thanks to **Cartooncutie16**, who helped me out a bit with the KimberlyxCartman thingie, and THANK YOU **XNAO. **FOR AWESOME PICTURE OF CRUCY! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY ITS AWESOME POSSUM, DUDE!**

**PM me or review on this chapter if you want your OC to do ANYTHING 'cuz I think I've been neglecting them lately...**

**Toodaloo my luvvies, **

KB


	19. Carnivals and Smoothies, Lucille

I sighed, leaning against the counter of my mom's shop. Yes, this is what she works as, a lounge/shopkeeper of the Hookah Lounge.

The Hookah Lounge (The Hookah for short) is basically a bar and a lounge where, of course, you smoke hookah. It's a great place to hang out. During the day, I can bring my friends her for a soda and everything, but during the night, the older customers come in to smoke, so we then have to buzz off, even though we only gotta be 16 to smoke hookah, it doesn't mean we will…but it's a pretty cool place. An archway separates the front shop from the lounge, and a curtain falls down over the archway. Mom is half-Egyptian, half-Filipino, so we have a lot of cool stuff decorating the place.

In the front shop we sell tea of all kinds, Indian, Asian, and Egyptian trinkets, and beautiful hand-made jewelry made by Mom and, and even a few pieces of really pretty furniture.

I fit in, today, in the Hookah. I was dressed in colors of blue and green – a swishy aquamarine skirt, boots, and a pretty green tanktop with blue designs, and I had on this pretty sparkly blue eyeshadow. My hair took the longest, today…it was in a fashionably messy bun, sort of beehive style, with thousands of chopsticks, clippies, and ribbons to have locks of hair stay in place. To finish the look, a simple blue shawl.

We came back yesterday, from Arizona, back to cold South Park. It felt good to be home, sure, but I miss the sun…stand by while I weep sorrowfully. Ahem, anyway, Mom was taking Bugs to her drum lessons, then going shopping, so I had to watch over the Hookah for a bit. And…I'm pretty bored.

My eyes widened, my head lifting off of the glass counter as the little bell chimed, telling me someone had come in. I smiled to see Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, Wendy, and Bebe enter, talking casually. I waved my blue and green nails, "Hey guys, what's up?"

"Nothing much, just in the mood." Stan said with a shrug, breaking away from the others' conversation. Soon enough, so did Kenny as he inspected my hair,

"Hey fuck buddy…how long did it take you to do _that_?"

"A _long_ time, Kenneth, so no touchie. Whaddya guys need?"

"Just a hookah, Luce."

I nodded, sliding off of the stool and coming around the counter as Wendy and Bebe inspected the new jewelry I had made. Wendy smiled, pointing to a black choker with a purple charm on it, "Ooooh, Lucy, that's so pretty! Did you make it?"

I grinned, "Yep. You want it? 20 bucks, it took a long time."

As Wendy got out her purse, Stan quickly gave me a 20, "I'll pay. My early birthday present."

Wendy's birthday is in two days, and Stan's been showering her with presents.

The black-haired girl chuckled as Stan helped her clip on the choker and I led them through the curtain, into the lounge.

…

Now I never get tired of looking around the lounge part of the Hookah. The lights are dimmed considerably, and star-shaped lanterns give off a calming glow. The walls are painted a dark gold, matching the maroon colors of the tall, semi-circle booths, which have hookah pipes in the middle. Some of them have glass tables in the middle, and in the tables are actual, live fish. Near the back we have a large koi fish tank as well. One part is a half-covered section that has a large couch that's decorated with golden and red pillows and comfy cushions, and then there's other cushions spread across the floor, as well as chairs that you can sink into. Then, next to the koi tank, is the bar. We have a few plasma TVs, and soft music in the backround.

I led them to a booth, handing them two menus each – a food menu and a hookah menu. I took down their food orders, sending them to the tiny kitchen, and then got the 'Tutti Frutti' flavored hookah mix, and prepared the hookah pipe for them. I'm an expert at it by now.

After chatting with them a bit and serving their food, I headed back to the front shop, but I was followed closely by Bebe. I smiled at her, sitting myself back behind the glass counter, "Hey, sweetie, whats up?"

She pushed a few curly blond locks over her shoulder, "Just wanted to talk. We hardly did when we went to Arizona."

"Okay…'bout what?"

"You and Craig, mainly. You're going steady then?"

I paused, before nodding, "Yeah. Pretty much, yeah."

Bebe leaned against the counter, smiling with a happy squeal, "That's _great_! Do you know what this means?!" She didn't wait for me to answer, "_It means everything_! Clyde and me can go on double dates with you guys; it'll be so adorable!" So we involved ourselves in classic girl talk for a few minutes until Wendy wandered over, looking for Bebe. But once Bebe left, I wasn't alone, since Kaysha, Kimberly, Ava, Cassandra, and Ivy decided to waltz in.

I waved and Kaysha immediately complimented my hair, and added, "Cassandra was dying for some new necklaces. Vair vair annoying…"

Cassandra shot back, "Yeah right, Kaysha, we all know you want some new jewelry to."

Kaysha shrugged and the five began to inspect the many jewels I had made the previous night (I couldn't sleep). Sera began to ask me as she paid for a pair of green dangly earrings, "Anyone else here interesting?"

I popped open the cash register, giving her the change as I nodded, "Yeah, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Wendy, Bebe, and the fatass."

Kimberly suddenly grabbed a small bottle that was next to the cash register, "I'll go feed the koi fish, I bet you forgot again." She took quick steps past the curtain. Well, she's right; I did forget to feed Pucker, a yellow koi with big lips, Tootles, a spotted koi that was always swimming in circles, and To-Small, who really was.

But something felt…out of place.

Before the five left, Ava informed me that we're all going to meet up at the Burger Joint (which is a burger joint) for dinner and to invite anyone willing to come. Sweet. Man, my friends just can't get enough of the Lucy Love, can they? No, they probably can…whatever.

I jumped as the phone rang. I picked it up, "Hello, this is the Hookah Lounge, may I ask who's calling?"

"Its me, Lucy."

"Oh, hey, Mom. What's up?"

"Well, you know how your very-early-birthday-party is tomorrow night?" Yeah. Its sort of tradition. We have a birthday party a month early for my birthday, or Bugs' birthday. Small coming.

"Yeah, why? Mom, what are you doing, you sound busy."

"Buying potatoes."

"I bought some yesterday, Mom."

"Well, that's not enough. The family is coming."

I blinked. What? "As in…the family?"

"Yes, Lucy."

"Sweet Jesus! How did that happen!?"

"Your Aunt Lydia spread the word."

I groaned, saying a curt 'bye' before hanging up, and I hid my face in my hands. Lets just say my family is…odd. And very, very, very big. Goddamnit.

* * *

"Hey Luce!" I looked up to see Craig parade in with all of his pride and I smiled,

"Hey Craig? What's up? Need a smoke?" I smirked. Craig tried hookah twice. He didn't really care for it, but he never really said he didn't like it. He flipped me off before saying,

"Nah. You know how everyone's chilling at the Burger Joint tonight?"

"Yeah, why?"

He leaned against the glass counter, rolling his eyes a bit, tapping his house keys against the glass, "Welll, Kyle asked Ivy out, y'know?" I nodded, it was big news, "So," He sneered a bit, "Kyle, being a pussy I might add, asked me to ask you to come along with them. 'Cause he's a pussy and all."

"Is this your way of asking me out?"

His face was rather expressionless as he shrugged, "Pretty much."

I smiled, leaning my cheek against my palm, "So where are we going? Hopefully not some place boring."

"Carnival is in town tonight, we're going there instead of the Burger Joint. I'm stealing my dad's car, we'll take that." He said carelessly, brushing aside the black bangs that stuck out from under his blue hat. He looked at my expectantly/boredly, eyebrows raised as I tried not to laugh,

"…what?"

I sniggered softly, "Your so weird, Craig."

"I'll take that as a complement."

"Don't."

* * *

"Ai-yai-yai…who the fuck knows what to wear to a carnival?" I growled, digging through my clothes.

Craig's supposed to come over in one hour, and I'm still not ready. Some girlfriend I am.

"Hey Luce, whats up – YIKES!" I turned sharply at the voice and saw Ivy jump out of the way of a flying wad of tee shirts. She carried a backpack, which I presumed was full of clothes. I smiled, though,

"Hey, Ives, just finding an outfit."

"Sweet, I got a few choices here…"

* * *

"Jesus, your hair is pretty." I admired, shutting off my curling iron and unplugging it.

Hair detail:

_Ivy: Luscious red locks look quite shorter, due to curling iron. Soft, light curls crowding peachy face. Electric blue streak coiled around one of the curls. _

_Me: Shiny black locks in two spiky buns on either side of my head, held up with thousands of hairpins and peacock feathers for decoration. Side-bangs – blue_

Classy.

"So are you gonna smack and mack?" I questioned casually as I sorted through skirts, dresses, and shorts, trying to figure what to where. In case you don't know, that means kiss.

"Shut up, Lucy, its only our first date!"

"…so?"

"Oh whatever…"

Clothes, jewelry, make-up detail:

_Ivy: A white tanktop with a black vest over it, with dark wash skinny jeans and electric blue flats to top it all off. Lots of little silver rings and a few silver necklaces, with light blush and blue fingernails. Very first-date-ish. When you're on a first date you don't want to look too flashy. _

_Me: Since this isn't my first date with Craig (its my second, since the hot tubbing didn't count), my outfit is more funky and eye-catching – a VERY light brown dress that stopped mid-thigh, and it had a tight hem, like one you would see on a sweatshirt. I had a long necklace of large blue beads, and then smaller green necklaces around my neck, green and blue nails, more peacock feathers around my wrists, and then blue and green flats. My eyeshadow is a mix of green and blue. _

I grabbed Ivy's arm, leading her downstairs, "Get your ass to your house! Kyle's picking you up there in 10 minutes, and Craig's picking me up here in 10 minutes! FLEE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, RUN FASTER!"

She flipped me off, grinning, as she jogged towards the direction of her house.

* * *

"By the way, are you still pissed at Obama?" Craig asked, smirking, tapping his fingers against the driving wheel to the Ramones _Blitzkrieg Bop_. I rolled my eyes,

"Duh. What he said was unforgivable! Great speech, but seriously…"

_We all watched on the large TV screen in the school's auditorium, listening to Barack Obama deliver his inauguration speech. Our town is to poor to take us all to Washington DC anyway. _

"…_the time has come to set aside childish things,"_

_My ears totally blanked out after that. My whole mind blanked out. I shot out of my chair, flipping the TV the bird, "AYE! Fuck you, Obama!" And I stormed off. _

I stared at the window expressionlessly for several minutes before sighing, "The time has come to set aside childish things. Hell, if that's true…I'm screwed." I actually started to laugh, "That's all I do. Through my whole fifteen years, all I've _done_ is childish things!"

"Yeah. Ever since I first met you."

So many years ago…

_It was my first recess at South Park Elementary. I couldn't say I wasn't a bit nervous. Would the other kids be total assholes? Quite possibly. _

_But I started to chat with this girl with bushy blonde hair who was called Bebe, a large kickball collided with my head. I turned sharply, glaring daggers at a boy with a blue hat with flaps over his ears. _

"_Bastard!"_

"_Bitch!"_

_Some how, we became best friends. We shared all the good stuff – what we wanted to be, what our favorite colors were, what sports team was the best – the stuff that mattered back then. _

* * *

"Hey! There they are! By the smoothie stand! IVY! KYLE! There they are, Craig! GUYS! Aren't they cute?"

I'm already hyper!

Craig rolled his eyes, flipping me off before saying, "Calm your ass, lady, I see them." I took his hand, dragging him over to the two redheads,

"Hey guys! Long time no see."

Ivy smiled, waving, "Hey!" She rubbed her hands together, smiling, "Now, lets hit the rides. Roller coasters! Woot! Before we eat, y'know? But after we eat we'll need to go on again to feel our stomachs get left behind, all right? Great! Lets go!" She marched forward. We had no chance but to follow.

* * *

"Kyle, I'm really, really, really, really scared…" I heard Ivy mutter as she cuddled closer to Twizzlerhead (Kyle had no objections). Weird. Ivy's not one to get scared at this plastic bullcrap. I, on the other hand, am.

A bloody, half-skeleton/half-skinned man popped out of nowhere. I almost leapt out of my seat, "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T KILL ME!!"

Craig rolled his eyes, "Its just some loser." He flipped the thing off, "Stop scaring my girlfriend, goddamnit!"

Suddenly, the half-skeleton/half-human asked, "Hey, did you just flip me off!?"

"No."

"You're doing it right now!"

"No I'm not."

Luckily, the cart we sat in moved forward.

* * *

"Hey dudes!"

We were in line for the Space Machine (a UFO that spins around SO FAST that you can climb across the walls of the ship), when we heard Kenny's voice.

I waved at Kenny (Craig flipped him off), "Hey, Ken, what're you doing here?"

"Don't have enough money for the Burger Joint, so I flirted my way in here." He winked, smirking, "You guys on a date?"

"Yeppers." I nodded.

Kenny snickered, punching Craig's arm playfully, "It was gunna happen eventually, but nice choice, dude. She looks _awesome_ in the nude." Used to Kenny's perverted comments, I rolled my eyes, kicking Kenny's foot. Craig, though, he glared,

"How the hell do you know!?"

"She's my fuck buddy, remember?" He winked at me and I sighed, but couldn't suppress my smile, before glancing at Craig,

"Don't kill him. C'mon, lets go."

Craig, Kenny, Kyle, Ivy and I all filed into the spaceship, along with the rest of the line. We stepped onto the platforms and strapped ourselves in. We had to until the UFO thing got enough speed that we would just be plastered to the walls, able to defy stupid _gravity_.

* * *

"Boom, baby!"

I roared with laughter as I rammed into some poor sucker's bumper car. Loser. I backed up and zoomed forward, bumping into Craig to get his attention. He flipped me off, smirking, and we started to gang up on random people. Then I spotted someone familiar.

"Hey John! What're you doing here?"

"Just chilling!" The brown-haired boy called back, laughing as we circled each other.

"Hey, John, LOOK! ITS THAT HOT CHICK FROM THE PIZZA PLACE LAST WEEK!"

"WHAT? WHERE?"

I rammed in to him. Poor bub, way to distracted.

* * *

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT BALLS!"

I got glares from multiple riders, but I seriously _did not care_ because this roller coaster has _WAY TO MANY DROPS_, and I _CAN NOT STOP CURSING_. Craig, though, is laughing his ass off. Both Ivy and Kyle are shrieking, but are smiling nice and big. Craig just HAD to pick the front cart. A-hole…

I shrieked a few more profanities as we looped around, "BLOODY FUCKERS!"

* * *

"Aw…aw, man…"

I leaned against the gate outside of the roller coast, rubbing Craig's back soothingly, as he leaned over the garbage can, ralphing (its what we call puking where I come from) horribly.

I chuckled, watching Ivy telling Kyle to put his 'goddamn wallet away' and let her pay for the drinks. But Kyle is much to much of a gentleman as he got her a strawberry smoothie and fries.

Craig, being the freak he is, finished tossing his cookies and actually bought more food. I rolled my eyes as I slurped on a banana/strawberry smoothie.

* * *

If we weren't in the carnival, everything would have been pitch black, except for the shining moon. But no, since we ARE at a carnival, neon lights are shining and the ferris wheel looks beautiful. In other words…FERRIS WHEEL HERE I COME!

I laughed manically as I ran towards the large wheel, Craig following quickly, and Ivy and Kyle taking up the back. I quickly skidded to a stop for the dude who worked the machine to check the little yellow bracelet around my wrist that says 'paid' in big letters, before plopping down in one of the long seats. Craig sat next to me, and Ivy and Kyle took the one behind us.

"WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" I rang out, waving my hands in the air as we moved upwards. Craig rolled his eyes a bit before elbowed my waist, looking over the side of the bench we sat on,

"Luce, Kyle's making a move!"

Immediately I looked down at the two redheads, and, indeed, their faces are getting closer. I looked away as the kiss turned into a full-blown make-out session and leaned back with a content little sigh. It's about time.

* * *

"Whoa, that dude's terrible." I commented, watching the jazz band play. The saxophone player already missed five beats. The four singing ladies were good, as well as the bugle boy, and the rest of the band. But no the saxophone player. He looked tired.

As their song ended I glanced at Craig, giving him an 'I'll be right back' look and quietly making my way towards the sax man. I muttered quietly and he gave me a grateful look, handing me the sax and a handkerchief to clean off the mouthpiece. The rest of the band looked at me curiously before the singers announced the next song, _Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy _by Bette Milder. Good. I know that one.

The saxophone is the first instrument I've ever played, and I think I'm pretty good, now. I also play a mean piano, which I tried when I read a few _Peanuts_ comic strips with Schroeder playing the piano. But the sax is the one I'm better at. The man's saxophone is in pretty good shape, but not as good as Ray. Ray is my saxophone…hey, if people can name their guitars, why can't I name my saxophone? I polish him evvvery day and make sure he's in tune and everything.

I smiled as I set my mouth onto the mouthpiece, starting the song. It went from medium to fast (no slow) and it's a rather simple song. For me, at least. I play the sax whenever I want, you know? When I'm happy, sad, angry, embarrassed…it sets me in a content (or even happier) mood. It's a soul instrument…as in you can pour your soul into that one instrument.

Mom says as I get older I should "move my soul" to different places. For example – men. Just guess what that means.

* * *

"We should go more places like that." I said cheerfully into my cell phone. It's morning, now, and I'm on my way to school. Craig decided to take the bus today, so I'm walking alone.

"Totally. You know, we should prank Garrison today. Since it's almost your birthday."

"What does that have to do with my birthday?"

"I dunno, but I just feel like today's gonna be boring. We need to spice it up, y'know?"

"Remember when we played that April Fool's day joke on Garrison last year?"

_The class crowded around my desk, snickering violently and whispering to each other as I folded the carefully written note into an origami rose. It was a fake love note to Mr. Garrison from his ex, Mr. Slave. It read:_

_Dear Herbert,_

_On the day you were born the angels got together and decided to create a dream come true. Okay, I got that from a song, but that's how I feel about you, wonderful you! I just want you to know that you're not alone. Every gay man wants to follow you around and be close to you, just like me! Come to my house tonight at 7:00pm and we'll celebrate, if you get what I mean._

_Love,_

_Mr. _Slave

_P.S. – XOXOXOXOXOXOXO_

_We all hushed and rushed into our seats when we heard Mr. Garrison come down the hall. I quickly placed the origami rose on his desk, and then plopping down in my own seat. _

_You can just guess what happened next. _

_So at 7:00pm a very happy Mr. Garrison (in a bathrobe and thong, I might add) danced over to Mr. Slave's house, which he actually shares with Big Gay Al, whom he's married to. _

_So he knocks on the door and when nobody answers he walks in (Craig, Token, and I bravely, stealthily follow while the rest of our classmates waited in the bushes). Then he finds Mr. Slave and Big Gay Al _having sex_, and then the two start beating up Garrison (nude, I might add). We didn't see that part because we bolted when they came out from under the covers, their man meat a'floppin'. _

"Oh yeah, I remember now…"

"Yeah. Good times."

"Good times."

* * *

**Well, I thought this chapter was pretty funny, I enjoyed writting in. Once again **Cartooncutie16 **helped me out. She's a doll. **

**Anywhozles, this is a nice long one. 11 pages on Word. That might explain why it took slightly-ish long. I've also been working on a bunch of crap for school. I had to right this story on fantasy. Mines on the Lochness Monster ^^ I'll post it on this site some time. **

**So, since **Cartooncutie16** helped me out this chapter, I let her character Ivy and Kyle come on Lucy and Craig's carnival date. Just ask for your character to co-star in the following chapters! If they go double-dating with Craig and Lucy, just give me the place, clothing, and, of course, their date! But if it's just hanging out with Lucy, like baby-sitting little siblings, just tell me if they have a little sibling, of course. **

**I was watching the Little Mermaid yesterday :D Part of your wooooorld.**

**So the little joke at the end is in honor of April Fool's Day. I love it. I told my English teacher that I'm pregnant XD **

**Y'know, these little A/N (author's note) things I write at the bottom of each chapter are really long. Lol...it makes the chapter seem longer 8D And here's something that makes it even LONGER...**

http:// youtube. com /watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0&feature= channel_page

(take away the spaces, obviously)

**And even loooonger:**

**Kaysha Black: **Miss Shopaholic

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Cassandra Nightwish: **dark child 1995

**Ivy Valmont: **Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera": **XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson: **JVM-sp150

**Toodalooiedooie my luvs,**

**KB**


	20. Your Family Is Insane, Lucille

"_Fuck! FUCK! Sweet _JESUS_!" I sobbed angrily, holding my leg in pain, sitting in the middle of the road. Red blood poured out of the large cut in my leg. I desperately tried to cover the sear in my skin with my hands, but sometimes, hands are vair stupid. _

"_It can't hurt that bad, Luce." A voice sad from behind me. I glared at Token angrily,_

"_You're late." I growled. I'm pretty sure I called him a horsefucker or something…well, something that ended in 'fucker'. _

_The 10-year-old boy snorted as he kneeled down in front of me, "Yeah, well, considering you called me from all the way over here, across town, I had to take _five minutes_."_

_I rolled my eyes as he slowly moved my hands from the large gash. I had been running…just running. Then I tripped forward, cutting my hands. My right leg landed on large glass pieces. So I called Token, who was the first person to come to mind. _

"_It hurts. Badly. I remember when we were midgets our parents always made sure we never got hurt. So long ago."_

_He began to wash the gash with a bottle of water and a cloth, "Well, nothing gold can stay."_

"…_excuse me?"_

"_Nature's first green is gold,_  
_Her hardest hue to hold._  
_Her early leaf's a flower;_  
_But only so an hour._  
_Then leaf subsides to leaf._  
_So Eden sank to grief,_  
_So dawn goes down to day._  
_Nothing gold can stay."_

"_I'll pretend I know what that means…"_

"_Robert Frost wrote it." I nodded, reconizing the poet's name as Token continued, beginning to wrap white bandages around my leg, "I guess it means that we can't stay young forever. Young is gold…and nothing gold can stay."_

_I snorted in amusement, "Guess Frost was one of those kids who wanted to grow up, huh?"_

"_I guess."_

"_Well, Token, my man, why don't we stay gold, eh? No drama. Shake on it." I spit on my hand, holding it out. He grinned, spitting on his own hand and we shook on it. _

I sat up rather suddenly in bed. I glanced at the clock. 3:00am. I sighed, leaning against the headboard, smiling to myself, before reaching over, grabbing my phone, pressing down 'five' for its speed dial number.

"Yeah?"

"Hey Token, my man, what's up? You sound busy."

"At 7-11."

"At 3:00am?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"Ah. I'll join you."

"K."

I just love how we do the most weird things and we don't really care. I guess its one of those things that prove your truly friends…

I hung and threw the covers off, grabbing my bunny slippers, slipping down the hallway. Suddenly, Bugs opened her door, lifting her welding mask, "Where are you going?"

I raised my eyebrows, "Out. Don't tell Mom. What're you doing up?"

"Welding. Duh."

"Ah. Be back soon, cover for me if the parental units wake up."

"Whatever."

I saluted to her and tip-toed down the stairs, but as soon as I was out the door, I broke into a run. It feels good to sneak out in the middle of the night for the hell of it.

* * *

"But you remember when you first told me that, right?"

"Yeah." Token picked out a bag of Tostitos, "We were ten and you fell on that broken glass."

"Well I dreamed that moment. Weird, right?"

He shrugged as he grabbed a bottle of milk as well, "Actually, that's not to strange to dream memories. It happens all the time."

"Last night I dreamed off getting eaten by chocolate rabbits, instead of the other way around."

"I don't think that happened to you."

"Right. But anyway, it was so freaky! It was like I was reliving that moment…only I didn't feel pain. And I still shouted in pain because I knew the pain was there. Tingly, you know? Then you recited Frost's poem and everything. Then we promised each other we'd never grow up, remember?"

"Yeah."

"Well, do you think we're growing up?"

Token paused, frowning. He was quiet. Then he shook his dreads, "No. No, not at all."

I looked at my feet, "Really? I mean, drama and everything…"

"No, no, nooo Lucy. That's just _everyone else_ growing up." He gestured to himself and I, "We're no. You get it?" He smiled.

"Yeah. I do." I grinned, hugging him, "Just making sure."

I remember why I like Token so much…

* * *

"Lucy, where the hell are you?"

I yelped into my phone, "I'm on the curb of 7-11, Bugs!"

"Okay, loser, because I had to tell Mom that you were in bed with a deadly illness and you told me to tell her not to come near you."

I glanced at my watch jumpily. 6:00am already? Hm…no wonder I'm so jumpy. I _have_ been drinking coffee and all-syrup Slurpies for a while…

"AHH!"

This is what Tweek must feel like 24/7.

"Jesus Christ, Lucy, what the hell is wrong with you!?"

I blinked rapidly and began laughing into my phone, "Holy shit I'm hyper!"

"…alright. I'm coming over there. Don't explode on me, big sister."

"Okie dokie, smokey!"

The line cut and I somehow managed to put my phone back in my pajama pants without dropping it. I looked at Token next to me. He was a bit fuzzy around the edges. To much Slurpies for me, its impairing my vision.

"TOKEN! B-Bugs is coming over to get u-us. WAKE UP!"

Token had been sleeping since 5:00am. He hasn't had so much caffine or sugar.

By the time I finally woke him up, I spotted a green sports car screech around the corner and pull into a parking spot. I began laughing as Kyle, Ike, and Bugs ran over to us,

"W-wow you gahs, when did y-you have tw-wins?" I burst out laughing, "Kahl, you have two twins!"

I heard Bugs demand, "What the hell happened?"

Token replied, "She had a lot of caffine and sugar."

There voices started to fade…and fade…until nothing.

* * *

"Ugh…" I mumbled. Ow. My lips are to dry…

"Hey, she's wakin' up!" I reconigzed that voice…a Broflovski, I'm sure…to childish to be Kyle…so…Ike?

A rush of footsteps and voices slammed my ears as I slowly sat up in the cushiony cloud. No…bed. It's a bed, not a cloud. I rubbed my fists against my eyes, slowly regaining sight.

"Wha 'appened?" I slurred tiredly, looking at the worried face of Ike, the concerned face of Kyle, the pissed off face of Bugs, and the slightly amused face of Token.

"You passed out." Token said, "We're at my place." I looked around groggily. Yes, this looks like Token's room…

"What time is it?"

"5:00pm." Kyle spoke.

I almost fell off the cloud/bed, "WHAT? I'VE BEEN OUT FOR THAT LONG!?"

"You needed to recharge, holmes. And anyway, you deserve it." Bugs said bluntly, arms crossed stiffly over her chest. She glanced at Kyle, "Where's the pizza?"

"Its coming soon." He looked at me, "I called Stan, he's bringing over a couple of pies."

I nodded, pushing back the covers and sliding out of the bed, "Where's my phone?" I caught it from Token, who mentioned I had a few messages from AIM waiting.

**xNao. **(3:13:08): yayyy! Wendy's b-day is 2day we gotta go 2 her place! Then you have your very-early-birthday-party later…w00t!

**Miss_Shopaholic **(3:20:19): where r u? ur not answering anyones calls, we're all going to wendy's for her birthday! Bring the presents u bought!

**dark_child_1993 **(4:00:23): at wendy's, waitin 4 u. b-day gurl hasn't noiced u ain't here, hurry!

**Kalika_Barlow **(4:10:03): wendy's mom just ordered pizza. Ur missin out, luce

**BiracialBeauty **(4:13:46): yoohoo? Lucy? Did you die?

**XxPoisonIvyxX** (4:49:58): allo? U know where stan is? Kyle left me this weird voicemail that mentioned pizza, stan, and you.

"Someone order some pizza?" Stan joked as he strolled in, carrying two pizza boxes. Bugs and Ike attacked the pizza as Stan nodded to me,

"So, what's wrong with you? Kyle called and said you were dying or somethin', and-" He blinked down at his blue shirt as a splotch of red pizza sauce slipped onto it,

"Aw…AWWWW! I was just about to head over to Wendy's…Token, dude, you got a shirt I can borrow?"

"Yeah, hold up."

I watched as Bugs and Ike poked and punched at each other, laughed at Stan's manly muscles as he changed, and listened to the usual talk, until, on my third slice, I stopped feeling so woozy and Stan offered to drive me to Wendy's.

I smiled, twisting around in the shotgun of Stan's convertible, at the black back leather seat, "Hey, you picked up Wendy's presents for me!"

Stan nodded, starting the engine as I gazed at the colorful wrapped boxes, "Yeah, Kyle said to." He started to head toward's Wendy's, "So, who's coming to your very-early-birthday-party?"

"My whole family." I mumbled, shrinking into my seat.

His ice-blue eyes glanced at me curiously, "Isn't that a good thing? Or are you one of those kids who hate their families and cut themselves?"

I showed him my arms, "Nah, I'm no emo. And I don't HATE my family they're just…scary."

He snorted, "Scary?"

"Yes! My family is INSANE, Stan! Auntie Bonnie, she's a designer from New York and is always so prim and priss with EVERYTHING, Uncle Leon won't stop taking pictures of everything he sees, and Grandmama is INSANE. Completley and utterly insane, I tell you!"

"Is she the one your named after?"

"Yeah, Grandmama Lucille."

"Then that explains a lot."

"Huh?"

"Well, your both insane and crazy."

"Oh. That makes sense."

* * *

"Y'know, Lucy, you have to come down some time!" Mom hollered from downstairs. I scowled,

"No I don't!"

"Its YOUR early-birthday-party!"

"My FAMMILY is INSANE, Mom!"

"Lucille Von Schroeder Montgomery get down here this INSTANT!" She shrieked. I cringed at the usage of my full name. Damn.

I quickly checked my outfit in the mirror – Mr. Mint, this time, from Candyland. I'm wearing red overalls that stopped at my knees, with white and red striped stockings under that, with clunky red boots. The tanktop I have on under the overalls is white and red striped and I have a pair of dangling candy cane earrings on my ears. My bangs are red with white tips, the rest of my black hair in a swift, long ponytail. I gave myself a thumbs-up and headed downstairs.

Mom, dressed in her dressy shawls and robes, was at the foot of the stairs, tapping her foot impatiently. She sighed once I reached her, patting my shoulder, "Lucy, it won't be that bad. So our family is a bit…odd. Its what makes us better than everyone else, okay?"

I nodded quietly and she kissed my forehead, "Bugs is in the living room. I invited several of your friends to come, so you can bear it."

I smiled at her and made my way to the living room, where Bugs sat. Her dark brown hair is looped up into a ponytail and wore simple blue shorts and a Sex Pistols tee shirt.

"Classy, Bugs, real sleek."

"You to, sis." She mumbled as the doorbell rang.

I rolled my eyes and went to answer the door. I seriously _screamed _to see my ENTIRE family standing outside of the door, pooling across the front yard, overlapping onto both Craig and Tweek's yards, and even onto the street. Each of them wore colorful clothing and held gifts in their hands.

They cheered and all called out variations of my name (Lucille, Lucy, Lucy-Goosey, Lucy-Lou, Lucy Love, Cee, Lucky Lucy, Loopy, Lammyhaphop, MooLou, Lucifer, Luce…)

Both frightening and amusing.

I jumped back as they all swarmed inside. Music suddenly blasted through the air and food was immediately brought out…my family likes to eat.

"LUCILLE!"

I spun around to be embraced by my grandma. I laughed idiotically, hugging her back, "GRANDMAMA!"

Grandmama is a short woman, _kinda_ chubby around the edges. Her hair is snowy white, and her face has a few wrinkles here and there. Her stubby fingers (unlike mine, which are kinda bony) are covered with jeweled rings and wraps. She's Egyptian. God knows where Mom gets her pale skin and frizzy red hair…certainly not from Grandpapa, who's Filipino. He died a couple years back.

"Ah, Lucille, girl who loves to much and to unwisely." Aunt Bonnie briskly walked towards me. She's a pretty woman – pale skin and straighened red hair, with a buisness suit on and designer sunglasses in her hair…she's Mom's sister, a fashion designer in New York. Ever see 'The Devil Wears Prada'? Think of a younger, prettier Miranda Priestly, with basically the same attitude.

Grandmama rolled her eyes, "Hush, Bonnie, to love is to live." The two started bickering in that mother-daughter way, so I quickly turned my attention to the other guests. I gasped as Cousin Rachel gave me a big hug,

"Hey, Lammyhaphop!"

"Hey Rae. Why do you call me that?"

"Dunno, it sounds funky. You haven't changed. Same eyebrows. All arched."

I grinned, "You're a kid, RaeRae, big kiddah, see?"

"Still a fast-talking champ, Lucy. Lovely. How's the buisness?"

Okay, this needs a tad bit of explaining. In every school, there's recess (pretty much) and during recess, kids devote their time to do the things they want. Some play kickball, some gossip, some write. Well, I'm in the trading buisness. You can call me a con, sure, but I just call myself a hustler. See, we hustlers all have a system, we contact each other and transport goods to each other throughout the schools. From short-stringer paddle balls to the latest comic book, someone has it. Rachel is a hustler to.

"I've been takin' a break, doll. I got a love life now, you hear?"

"Yeah, you mentioned. Who's the guy?"

"Craig Tucker. Neighbor. Buddy. He's coming over later, you'll see him. If he flips ya off, don't take it personally." I patted her back, "And you got any Winger-Dings? I need an import."

"Gotcha."

She walked away to get more punch. See?

Its all a system.

* * *

"Lemme tell you, man, you're lucky. Mah cousin 'ere is a dame, see?" My cousin, Theo, took a sip of a Sam Light, smirking. His brother, Leo, nodded happily. I rolled my eyes. Craig snorted. But suddenly, my cousins' happy expressions fell and Leo deadpanned,

"But if you evah hurt her, yous gotta understand we'll murdah you, got it?"

Theo and Leo are big guys, football players. Real cool to be around with, but seriously, you don't wanna get tangled with 'em.

Craig gulped. The two burst out laughing and Theo punched Craig's stomach playfully,

"Ooooh, we got you, man!" Craig glanced at me and I shrugged. Leo suddenly deadpanned again, "No, but seriously, we'll kill you." The brothers gave Craig that 'I'm-watching-you' hand signal and walked off.

I sighed, "Don't worry about them." I smiled, talking out a deck of cards from my pocket, "Hey, we'll have a poker game."

"Dude, you always win at ANY card game we EVER play."

"I have the skills, man. C'mon, Craig, lets set it up."

* * *

_Can't breathe on my poker face, poker face…_

Lady Gaga's 'Poker Face' kept running through my head, that a smile almost DID crack my poker face. Which is a pretty damn good one, if I do say so myself.

* * *

I ended up winning, in the end. I always do. Rachel refused to play, because everyone knows you can't have two cons in the same game. It just don't add up, sometimes. If you haven't caught my drift, I cheated. Actually, 'cheat' is pretty harsh. Maybe I'm just smart…

"Hey, Lammyhaphop. Saw you sneak a peek at Donovan's cards with them slicks of yours." She was referring to my fingers, if you must know. Rachel flicked her blonde hair over her shoulder,

"So, tell me more about this Craig guy. Havn't seen him yet."

"Oh, yeah, Theo and Leo are interrogating him."

"Hah, typical. So…?"

"Well, first of all, he has the most gorgeous purple eyes,"

"PURPLE?"

"I know, right? Purple. Anyway, he has really slick black hair and…"

Oh, I could go on for day's about Craig. I swear, nothing could break us apart, and we've only been on like, two dates or something. Of course, there were always those little voices in my head…

_You know what they say about high school romances, my dear…_

Fuck off.

* * *

**To tell you the truth, I'm a bit uneasy about this chapter. I've been sort of out of it these last few days, so this might not flow, since I wrote it in several sittings. But I hoped you enjoyed it. **

**Not much to say. Ever hear of a show called Recess? About a buncha kids at a place called Third Street Elementary. Awesome show, cool stuff. Well, **Cartooncutie16** and I were just chatting about our favorite TVs show that the dumbass network took off the air, and one of us (I foget who) brought up the good ol' show of Recess, with the gang - TJ, Vince, Spinelli, Gretchen, Gus, and Mikey. Good times. So I watched a few episodes on the tube of you and came across the Hustler Kid. He was always one of my favorite characters. So, being a loyal fan, I inserted some hustling into this story. You'll see it bloom as the story progresses, have no fear ;)**

**So, some heads up on the next chapter:**

**First of all, there's gonna be a big time skip. Not just a few days, but a few months, all the way into the middle of the gang's senior year. Not gonna tell ya what happens, but its gonna be rather...suprising. No, Lucy doesn't get pregnant. Face it, you were ALL thinking that. **

**And second of all, the next chapter won't be arriving so soon. I'd say a week? A week and a half? 'Cause my school gets out for Easter break and I'll be spending my time outdoors.**

**Kaysha Black:** Miss Shopaholic

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Cassandra Nightwish:** dark child 1995

**Ivy Valmont:** Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera":** XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson:** JVM-sp150

**Don't leave my hanging, holmes, **

**KB**


	21. We're Outta Here, Lucille

I think Craig hates me.

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Or maybe he's cheating on me…

I'm sorry, but I've been a bit…paranoid over the past few weeks. My boyfriend since I was 15, is named Craig Tucker. He has shaggy black hair and purple eyes, and an overused middle finger, with _slight _anger management issues. He's been my friend ever since I moved to South Park from New York, when I was seven, as well as Clyde Harris-Donovan, Tweek Tweak, and Token Williams.

I'm 18 now. Does it really make a difference? I'm still tall and lanky, and Cartman still calls me a hippie. I also still go on with the themed outfits, which is good. I'm still friends with practically everybody and I still can't turn a cartwheel perfectly. Only handstands. I still carry my prized slingshot everywhere and my favorite song is still _Radar Love_ by the Golden Earring.

Hell, nobody else changed to much. Stan and Wendy are still dating, Kyle still has a Jewfro, Cartman is still a racist, Kenny is still a perv and single, Craig still flips people off, Clyde is still a bit of a crybaby, Token still plays the bass, Tweek still spazzes every five seconds, Bugs and Ike are still partners in crime, Kaysha is still a cocky flirt, Sera still loud and outgoing, Kimberly is still battling against Senor Fatass, Ivy is still hardcore, Cassandra still loves goths, Ava still delights herself in verbal fights with Tubby, Wendy is still a feminist, and Bebe is still all bubbly and jumpy. Hey, did you ever notice that if you say or think a word to many times it starts to sound funny? Like the word 'still' for example...

Anyway, Craig's been acting different. Less…caring. No! He is very caring. Just less…around. Yeah, we used to be connected with super glue, but I guess that stuff wears down over the years. I try not to be too clingy, but it's sometimes kiiinda hard.

_Ding Dong! The Witch is dead! Which old Witch? The Wicked Witch!_

"DOOR!" 13-year-old Bugs hollered raspily from her room. That song is our doorbell, which probably woke up Bugs.

I hopped down the stairs by two, tugging a brush through my bedhead. Who comes over at 8:00am on a Saturday morning anyway? I opened the door anyway and screamed loudly, jumping back to see a hooded figure with a knife in his hand.

Oh wait.

"Luce? Jeez, you have spiders in your shorts?"

Its just Craig in a hoodie. But he's still holding a Swiss army knife. What the hell?

"What're you doin, Craig?"

"You got a knife?"

"What are we doing?" I paused, before scowling deeply, crossing my arms, "What did Cartman do to you? Something bad, I'm guessing, if you want to stab him."

He rolled his violet eyes, "Its not that. You'll see. You don't need your knife, we'll share." He took my hand, trodding over to the large oak tree that sits on the edge of my lawn. We climb on it all the time, and you can see the whole town if you stand on the top branch and push some leaves out of the way. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow, then the Swiss army in his hand, and back at the tree. It clicked.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

Awww thats so sweet...how could I ever think that he hates me? I hugged him, laughing and he got to work on carving our initials. A few minutes later (the boy is talented) the tree trunk boldly read

_CT+LM_

He smiled as he etched a large heart around it. He pulled back, dusting his hands off, "What do ya think?" I smiled, teeter-tottering back and forth on my feet, gazing at the initials. Wait. It was missing something. I took the knife and under our initials, at the bottom of the heart, I carved,

_4ever_

"Classy." He admired.

I shrugged, "Thanks. I never saw you to be the romantic one, Craig. When we were midgets you were always confused about the art of girls, and all things girly."

"Thanks. Hey, you still got that graffiti bottle?"

"The red one we used to give Barbrady's cruiser a paint job?"

"Yeah. Could you get it?"

I nodded and ran back into my house, up to my room, into my large closet, and started to dig around in one of the buckets that held graffiti bottles of all colors. I grabbed the half-empty red one, laughing slightly at the memories, and skipped back down the stairs, back out the door, and handed it to Craig, "Here ya go, dude. What's the gig?"

He shook the bottle and started to spray red around our initials, to make the rest of the heart red. I smiled, crossing my arms and nodding in approval, "A gig well done, my man."

"Its a 'job' well done, not gig."

"That to."

"Anyway, thats not it..." He rummaged around in the pocket of his blue hoodie and took out an envelope, decorated with crude, but funny, pictures of what would usually be cutesy objects, and a bunch of old styled stamps. I laughed, taking it delicatly,

"Aw, Craig, its so...unique! I love it."

"Try looking inside it, genius."

"Wait. First, is anything going to kill me?"

"No?"

"Is anything going to scare me?"

"No."

"Am I gonna spazz if I open it?"

"Maybe."

I glared at him testily before catiously opening the envelope, careful not to rip the awesome envelope. I took out four pieces of paper. I read them.

I screamed.

I heard something made of glass crack.

Craig snickered at my reaction and I leapt into his arms,

"CRAIG! This is amazing! I haven't been there in like, four years! I love you!" I kissed him deeply, the four tickets to New York clutched tightly in my hand.

* * *

"TWEEK! TWEEK, OPEN UP!"

"Ow...all of the times for the boy to be sleeping for once." Craig grumbled. He stood on a tree branch on a tree that stood between my house and Tweek's house. Only it was closer to my house. So he climbed on a branch and I climbed on his shoulders, and started to knock on Tweek's window, which opened quite suddenly.

"AH! LUCYWHATAREYOUDOINGYOUCANDIEANDTHENIHAVETOGOTOYOURFUNERALANDPAYMYRESPECTSWITHOUTTOTALLYBREAKINGDOWNINTEARSAND-"

"Tweek!"

"DOYOUKNOWHOWMUCHPRESSURETHATIS?"

"Tweek!"

"ANDICAN'TLIVEWITHTHE**PRESSURE**THATYOUDIEDTRYINGTOGETINTOMYHOUSE!"

"Tweek!!"

"WHYDIDN'TYOUUSETHEFRONTDOOR!? ACK!"

"TWEEK! I didn't use the front door because it would wake your parents." I rolled my eyes a bit before smiling happily, "Did you know Craig bought us _first class _tickets to go to New York?!"

"Uh...ACK!...yeah, h-he suggested it a few weeks ago. We've been s-saving u-up to pitch in. ACK! Well, T-T-Token paid for m-most of it..."

"Ohhhh. Cool! Well, get dressed and come downstairs, we're going to the pancake house. Meet us at Clyde's, we're going to go wake him up next."

"A-alright..."

He shut his window and Craig and I climbed out of the tree and heading over to Clyde's. Craig mentioned we could use the front door since Clyde's parents were out of town.

I picked the lock (I'm good at this kind of stuff) and opened the door. We climbed the stairs, and then another flight, to the attic. Clyde has the coolest and biggest room ever. We (as in Craig, Token, Tweek, and I) helped him refurnish the old attic it in '07, and its our main hangout. The walls are dark blue with posters of everyone's favorite bands, lava lamps everywhere (my idea), a large flat-screen TV across from his bed, five barcaloungers (one for each of us), and stacks of comic books (certain stacks are secretly porn magazines). Its like a treehouse...only its not.

I giggled at Clyde. He lay sprawled across his bed, dressed in only his heart boxers. The covers were falling off the bed and drool was forming a puddle on his pillow.

"Dude, wake up!" Craig called as we walked further into the room.

Clyde's response was a grumble and he rolled over onto his stomach, letting out a snore that could've been mistaken for thunder. I laughed and sat my bum onto his stomach, causing his eyes to snap open and inhale sharply. He lifted his head off of his pillow, and he started to laugh/wheeze when he saw me, smiling a goofy smile down at him. Craig yawned, stretching his arms, "I gotta take a crap. Lucy, talk to him." I nodded, getting off of Clyde's stomach. He strutted off to the Donovan's bathroom and Clyde sat up in his bed, ruffling his hair with a yawn,

"What's up?"

I waved the plane tickets in the air with a silent, triumphant grin. Clyde laughed, "He gave them to you? Swe-eet! Token paid for most of it. We know you love New York and we wanted to get a taste of it ourselves."

I paused, tapping my chin, my happiness vanishing for a second, "Oh, to bad we didn't get a plane ticket for John. He had always wanted to go to New York..." I sighed, but shrugged, my happiness returning,

"When are we leaving?"

Clyde got to his feet and rummaged around his room, trying to find a pair of pants, "Couple of days. We got the tickets three days ago, but Craig wanted to wait, for some reason. When we get there, it'll probably be around midnight, so we'll sleep a bit, wake up, and that starts our week." He pulled on a pair of dark blue baggy jeans and put on some Axe cologne. He pulled his red 'That's What She Said' tee-shirt over his head, ruffled his hair again, and he was ready. I don't get boys...it takes them less than five minutes to get ready, while it can take practically_ hours_ for us girls to just find a good outfit.

I sighed, rubbing my chin, "That doesn't give me nearly enough time to back. Oh, bother..."

He shrugged, sitting back down on his bed, "Hey, we're only staying for a week."

"A week? Hm...we'll have to hit all of the awesome places, save the good places for last, if we have time."

"And just don't go to the bad places, right?"

"There _are_ no bad places in New York, Clyde."

"ACK! Hey guys!" Tweek walked into the room, dressed in a forest green tee shirt and brown jeans. He had ditched button-up shirts a while ago. To complicated.

There was a sound of flushing and Craig walked in, sighing contently, before checking the time (9:30am), "I gotta go, I'll meet up with you in a few hours." He flipped us off before walking briskily out of the room, down the stairs, and out the door. The three of us looked at each other, confused.

"But...what about the pancakes?" Clyde simpered. Tweek twitched silently in agreement.

I sighed, shaking my head a bit, taking out my cell phone, "We'll just call everyone." See, this is how we roll. Craig, for some reason, usually pays for our food. If he can't make it, then we call ALL of our friends and then leave slightly early so they have to pay for us. Brilliance? Yes, indeed.

* * *

"So you ALL knew? Except me?" I demanded, swallowing a forkful of chocolate chip pancakes.

"Pretty much!" Sera laughed happily, "But believe, it was torture every time we saw you. I wanted to tell you so badly..."

I snorted, "Never figured you guys would be the ones to keep secrets."

"Shut up, Lucy, we're perfectly good secret keepers! Oh, Wendy, did you hear that Red..." Sera and Wendy quickly started whispering. I rolled my eyes with a smirk and started to talk to John about our favorite Star Trek video game (we are SUCH nerds), but I spotted the waiter coming over with the check. I cleared my throat,

"Well, Tweek, Clyde, Token and I gotta go. Make plans, y'know? Bye." I got sharply out of my seat, finishing off my pancakes, and we all quickly left the pancake house. I snickered at the multiple groans from inside. Suuuckkers.

* * *

"HIGHER!" Bugs screamed happily. I rolled my eyes good-naturedly, and pushed her higher on the swing she sat on. I ducked out of the way as she swung back at me.

"Bugs, aren't you old enough not to be pushed?!" I called at her. She's 13 for Pete's sake!

"Nah. Its fun." She sighed back as she pumped her legs back and forth. Stella and Ike were on either side of her, being pushed by their respective older siblings, Kaysha and Kyle.

"Hey, Bugsy, guess what?" I grinned, "I'm goin' to New York! Craig bought plane tickets! And I ain't joshin'!"

I caught her as she fell out of her swing. She twisted around in my arm, "SERIOUSLY!? THAT'S NOT COOL, I WANNA GO!"

"Shut up. I'll bring you one of them 'I *heart* New York' tee shirts."

I blinked as a raindrop fell on my forehead. Wuh-oh. I looked up and lightning cracked through the clouds, and thunder boomed. Kaysha and I said good bye to Kyle and we started back towards our block.

* * *

"Well, we'll need those to, right? For the Powerpuff theme." Kaysha said, tapping her chin, bopping from foot to foot to the voice of Paloma Faith, which was plasting from my iPod speakers.

Kaysha and I stood in front of my closet, each of us holding a clipboard, the rain pounding down outside. I had put Kaysha in charge of helping me with my packing. Her theory is that I'll need a lot of clothes to choose from, in case I change my mind before going on one of my dates with Craig. And anyway, anything could happen in New York. Believe me, I would know.

I used to go to New York every summer after I moved to South Park, but that stopped when I turned 14 and Bugs wanted to go to DisneyWorld. Hell, I love DisneyWorld, but I miss New York.

Anyway, the main topics of the seven days I'm staying in New York would be the following:

**Day One:** _Lolita_

**Day Two:** _Egyptian_

**Day Three:** _Ghost _(weird, but one of those things I'm always able to manage)

**Day Four: **_Harlequin_

**Day Five:**_Powerpuff_

**Day Six: **_Lady-Beetlejuice _(Ever see that cartoon? Ultimate win. When I impersonate characters, its sometimes kinda tricky, but I manage.)

**Day Seven: **_Sunny _(lots of yellow)

"How long does it take you to plan out all of these themes for a whole year, anyway?" Kaysha questioned, as she searched for some sort of yellow shoes.

"Forever. I do it on January 1st, I spend the whole day doing it. And every January 1st, the theme is always Pajamas." I snickered.

On one wall of my room, its covered in pictures, 30 or 31 pictures in a row, with 12 rows. Under the first week of October, I have pictures of Lolita girls, Egyptian jewelry, ghostly make-up, harelquin costumes, the Powerpuff Girls, Beetlejuice, and yellow clothing of all time. These pictures help me plan out my outfits for the day.

"By the way, do you love Craig?" Kaysha asked curiously, really out-of-the-blue. But that's Kaysha for you - always doing the unexpected. You never really get used to it.

"Duh."

"In love?"

"..."

"Luce?"

What is love, anyway? Such a cliche question, but is it one that doesn't have an answer.

"Yes, Kaysha, I am very much in love with Craig Tucker, and I hope I always will be." I said with a sharp nod. She chuckled,

"Good. You guys are cute together. Hey, you'll need this." She handed me my Notebook and continued to look though my clothes.

My Notebook is a small green notebook I use for basically everything. It's very neat, no papers or anything sticking out from it. I always use my favorite green gel pen to write in it. The front it is decorated neatly with multiple stickers of different shades of green, and in the middle, printed ever-so-neatly, is:

_Lucy's Handbook For Basically Everything_

If you'd look on the first page, you'll see, neatly written like everything else in there, _Philosophies_, which is basically, my philosophies. 10 of them, actually, a countdown all the way to one. In green ink:

_10. For every 1 thing you regret, there are always 100 more to be thankful for_

_9. There is no one else in the world who knows everything that you know_

_8. __Perfection, like a brand new car, is customizable_

_7. Fear nothing, never quit, never give up, never surrender, and always speak your mind even when your voice trembles_

_6. Live today as if it is your last. Remember that you will only find "tomorrow" on the calendars of fools_

_5. Laugh at yourself, life, and everything around you_

_4. Always lie to cops _

_3. Dance like no one is watching, Love like you have never been hurt, Spend like you didn't earn the money, and don't take life too seriously: No one gets out alive, anyways_

_2. Life isn't exciting if you don't have a dream_

_1. Never ever grow up'_

Hey, its what I believe in. Can you blame me? I smiled happily at the page, closing the book, and placing it carefully in my carry-on bag.

* * *

"I can't believe your leaving today, you are so lucky!" Ivy Valmont cheered happily. I smiled. A giddy Ivy is the second best Ivy. A hardcore, kickbutt Ivy is the best Ivy. We strolled down the hallways of South Park High like goddesses. Hell, we're in senior year, we practically _are _goddesses. Anyway, I'm leaving to Denver Airport right after school. Token's parents are dropping us off. I already said my tearful goodbyes to my parents this morning.

"Well, maybe you can get Kyle to buy you some tickets to go to a romantic inn somewhere in the Bahamas." I nudged her in the side, smiling playfully. The two redheads had officially hooked up a year ago, and they're acting like they'll be getting married tomorrow. Its very sweet, actually.

Ivy giggled, "Yeah, like Mrs. Broflovski would let us do that, no matter how wealthy they are."

"Aw, Shelia's not so bad."

We looked at each other and burst out laughing. Ivy brushed away tears from the giggling fest, "Okay, okay. We're all gonna say goodbye to you guys at the airport, alright? And...wait. Is that...Kimberly?"

I looked down the hallway she stared at. It was deserted except for two figures. One was tall with brown hair, a guy. The other was shorter, with curly hair, a girl. They were standing close.

My eyes widened. Cartman? And Kimberly? In the same hallway? Not on my watch.

I split into a run, Ivy on my tail. I rammed between the two, grabbing Cartman's arm. My knuckles went white, I was gripping him so tightly.

"LUCY!" Kimberly snapped angrily. What was her problem, I'm helping her! Ivy helped her off of the ground. Oops.

"Goddamnit..." Cartman muttered angrily, his eyes narrowing. Hey, is it just me, or is Cartman...skinnier?

"Don't _ever TOUCH_ her, Eric Cartman! Or you will _die_! Straight. Out. DIE!" It came out more of a shrill shriek more than the intended snarl. Oh well. It still sounded threatening. But this lardass won't ever hurt Kimberly again.

"Damnit, you hippie, I can do whatevah I want!" He snapped at me.

Wrong answer.

I pulled back my tightly clenched fist, eyes a-blazin', glaring straight into Cartman's dark brown eyes. But that's when I noticed something. They were missing that...shine. That shine that showed up whenever something is about to explode or die. There was anger, sure, but he meant no trouble. But it was to late. I swung my fist forward.

It never met Cartman's face. I snapped my head to look at Kimberly, who was holding my fist. Her eyes were narrowed, "_Stop_. Don't hurt him, he wasn't hurting me."

I dropped my fist, massaging my shoulder. I glanced at Ivy. She shrugged. My eyes flickered back and forth, through Kimberly and Cartman. Something clicked.

"You..." I pointed wearily at Kimberly, "and...you?" I raised my eyebrows at Cartman. Kimberly nodded firmly.

"How long?" I asked shakily.

"Year and a half." Kimberly said softly.

Cartman glared, grabbing my arm,

"I need to talk to you, hippie." He half-dragged me down the hall, around the corner, out of earshot from Ives and Kimi. We stood there for a moment, glaring into each other's brown eyes. His voice interrupted the silence,

"I never hated you...if that's what you thought."

It was a simple statement, but surprising. Cartman _didn't _hate everyone in the human and alien race? My eyes widened a bit at it, but he continued, unfazed,

"You were the only one who treated me with the slightest bit of respect. But you were always nice to _everyone_, and everyone liked you for it."

Eric Cartman? Having a heart-to-heart? Unheard of until today.

"And it made me feel good." He snickered in spite of himself, "Unlike the feeling of good when I chopped up Scott Tenorman's parents into chili, but the genuine feeling of good. So I did everything I could to get some sort of reaction out of you. Every prank in the book. You'd get mad. But you'd forgive me. That made me feel good."

He stopped there, waiting for a response. I blinked rapidly, letting this sink in, before I asked,

"That's...the only reason you ever made fun of me?"

"Pretty much. Same goes for Kimberley. I just needed attention from her." He scowled, his teeth gritting angrily.

I nodded slowly, understandingly. He glared up at me,

"What?"

"I was right."

"About what, ho?" He snapped, crossing his arms. I sighed, shaking me head. I've always had a theory about Cartman, since the first day I've ever met him. He's just a guy who...

I wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging him. He's just a guy who needs a hug. I released him and walked back down the hallway, taking Ivy by the arm and walked away.

God_damnit_ I can't wait to get out of this fucked up town.

* * *

**Well, I like this chapter. w00t!**

**Yep, so Lucy, Craig, Clyde, Token, and Tweek are heading off to New York. Cool? Very. Jeez, I just keep grabbing these guys out of South Park and throwing them across America, don't I? Well, all that matters it that its vair vair fun! New York is where I currenly reside (I ain't telling you where in NY) and I recently saw some dude propose to his girlfriend on the Rockefeller Ice Rink...and I now think New York is one of the most romantic places ever. So you'll see what will happen. **

**AND just because they're in New York, doesn't mean the OCs and everyone else won't be there! You'll see them via AIM, webcams, postcards, ect. Speaking of OCs:**

**Kaysha Black:** Miss Shopaholic

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Cassandra Nightwish:** dark child 1995

**Ivy Valmont: **Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera":** XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson:** JVM-sp150

**Annnnd I have an issue. For two people. **Kalika Barlow **and **dark child 1995**. You two are awesome people for letting me use your OCs, Ava and Cassandra, but I'm not quite sure if your reading. I use the OCs for people's sastisfaction. If your not reading this story, then I'm just not gonna use your OCs, okay? So just leave a little review on this chapter, and I'll continue to use Cassandra and Ava, thanks. **

**I got new underwear today 8D They're yellow with a smiley face on the butt XD**

**AND in ever single author's note I forget to add one thing: THANK YOU TO MY REVIEWERS AND READERS! I've got almost 100 reviews on this story! You guys are the greatest! **

**Ummmmm what else is there to say? I was PMing **Miss Shopaholic **and we both understand that they're should be an age difference between Stella, Ike, and Bugs, because in her story **Planet Kaysha **(thats an awesome new title, btw) Stella is a few years younger than what I make Bugs and Ike in this story. Ha, its not like we care. So don't get all technical on us, aye?**

**Kimberly and Cartman are a'lovin! w00t! **BiracialBeauty **has been one of my first reviewers, and her character, Kimberly, is soooo awesome, so she deserves that little scene. **

**Sera, who is **XNao.**'s character, got like, two lines in this chapter. Same with **JVM-sp150**'s character, John. Have no fear, you two, your characters will be seen more in the next chapter. So, everyone else, don't take it to offense if your OC doesn't appear much in the next chapter. Handling all of these guys is tough work! **Miss Shopaholic**,** BiracialBeauty**,** JVM-sp150**, you guys should know, you've all had experience with handling other OCs. **

**Well, thats all I'm saying. Sayanora (i didn't spell that right),**

**KB**


	22. New York, New York, Lucille

"And you've got to get me something, Luce, or I might die. I want to go to New York so badly!" Sera Fabiano chatted happily and very quickly as we drove towards Denver airport. Slight change in plans - I decided to join Sera in her car instead of going in Token's. And Sera has an equally smexy car anyway - a silver Mercedes convertible ('05) with black interior. Smexy indeed.

"Don't we all, Sera? I'll bring you a bobblehead." I said propping my feet up on the dashboard, smirking.

"Oh lala." She laughed and pointed to one of my several suitcases, "Hey, I packed some extra stuff. For...sexual behavior." She snickered at this. I rolled my eyes,

"Sweet Jesus..."

"Just some lingerie and everything! Kaysha and I were shopping a few days ago and we thought we'd help you out. Seriously, when was the last time you did it with Craig?"

"Shut up Sera."

"Come onnn!"

"Shut. Up."

"LUCY!"

"Two days ago!"

"You should be doing it EVERY NIGHT! SEE HOW BAD YOUR SEX LIFE IS!? GOD!"

I groaned, burying my face in my hands. Why do I talk to these kind of people? Oh yeah...because they're insane. Like me. She reached to pat my on my back, but I just mumbled into my hands, "Touch me and I'll break your arm."

She laughed and accelerated, and we chatted happily (well, she did) before Sera peered into her mirror, eyebrows raised,

"Luce...isn't that...your car?"

I blinked at her and turned in my seat. Nobody drives my car except me.

"Let's go FASTER!" Uh-oh. Ike?

"Vroom, vroom!" Sweet Jesus. Stella?

"Go, baby, go!" Please God, no. Bugs?

"IKE! STELLA! BUGS!" I stood up in the shotgun of Sera's car, "GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY CAR!" Sera screeched to a stop and I jumped out of the car. Ike stopped my car to and I grabbed the monster I call a sister, holding her upside-down, watching her face go red as the blood rushed to her head. She smirked, nonetheless, as she fidgeted a bit.

"What. Are. You. DOING!?" I snarled. She shrugged,

"Taking care of Ronaldo. Couldn't let him get rusty while your gone, right?" Ronaldo is my car's name. Ron for short. "And anyway, with Ike behind the wheel, what can go wrong? If we crash or something he can fix it up in five minutes. Hell, the car can explode, he can tinker with it, and you'll never notice a thing."

I cringed at the thought of a bunch of 13-year-olds crashing my car. I got the car for my Sweet Sixteen. My family helped rebuild it. Its a 1950 pink convertible Cadillac, with a black interior, which includes smooth black leather seats.

"If I find a single scratch on this car, I will murder you. It will be painful." I chucked her into the back seat, where Stella Black sat, and glared at Ike, who was sitting on a phonebook behind the wheel, "You better be careful or I'm tellin' Shelia." He gulped at the thought but nodded.

I sat back down next to Sera, who chuckled to herself and revved up the engine, blasting forward once more.

* * *

"If we were a movie! You'd be the right guy! And I'd be the best friend that you'd fall in love with! In the end we'd be laughing, watching the sunset! Fade to black, show the names, play the happy song!"

Clyde and I sang awful Hannah Montana songs, quite off key, to pass the time. Hey, four hour trip, not bad, unless you forgot to put your reading material in your carry-on bag. And, of course, pissy security and check-in took like, eight hours. We started to swap seats with each other, since we're an odd number of people and we don't want one person to be lonely the whole ride, and, at the moment, I'm plopped down next to Clyde. Craig is playing riffs of Crazy Train on his kazoo, sitting next to Token, who is typing something on his laptop, and Tweek, who's sitting next to some other dude, is reading the coffee menu, trying to decide if he should put milk in his black coffee or not.

"Sir, would you like anything to eat?" A stewardess asked Token. He smirked, continuing to type,

"Yes, but just give me a second, I'm hacking into the mainframe."

Clyde and I laughed into our pillows as the stewardess got this horrified look on her face. Token shut his computer cheerfully and ordered an orange juice.

* * *

"It's so...big." Token muttered, staring up at the New York Palace, a 4 1/2 star hotel near Rockefeller Center. I started to read off of the brochure I had printed out from the internet,

**Spa**

_Spa and fitness center, featuring massages, facials, body treatments and waxing services In-room massage services can be arranged upon request and based on availability_

_Fitness Center: 7,000 sq ft facility with eucalyptus infused steam rooms Complimentary access for in-house guests_

_Open 5:30 am to 10 pm Monday - Friday, 7 am to 10 pm Saturday & Sunday_

_Personal training Workout clothing available upon request_

**Restaurant**

_Istana – American cuisine_

_Gilt Restaurant & Bar – modern American cuisine_

**Additional Features**

_899 suites and rooms_

_813 rooms_

_86 suites 55 floors_

_Constructed in 1882, the residences that stood on the site of the now New York Palace became known as The Villard Houses; underwent a multimillion dollar restoration and refurbishment program in 1993_

_Room service (Available 24 hours)_

_Multilingual concierge (Available 6am to 1am)_

_Babysitting service can be arranged by the concierge_

_Car rentals can be arranged by the concierge._

_Car/Limousine service_

I looked up at my friends. Their jaws were dropped. Clyde rubbed his hands together, grinning boyishly, "I think I'm gonna like this place."

* * *

"WHOO H - AH! CRAIG!" I laughed, shoving him off me, but screamed again as Clyde tripped over my legs, ramming into Tweek, who's arm slapped Token over as well. Good times.

Sock Sliding - a sport where you take your shoes off and go on a very shiny surface, and slide. Very much like ice-skating. Try not to hit another person.

Yeah, to late. We're in the hallways, where the floors are very shiny, and its at least midnight. We couldn't sleep.

Token got up first, helping me up, "We better get to bed before we get caught. Its our first night here, we don't want to get in trouble." Tweek twitched nervously,

"I can't sleep. Ever."

I patted his shoulder, "Sure you can, Tweekie. Just...count sheep or somethin'. Night you guys."

Craig and I entered our private suite, where our luggage was set. Craig raised his eyebrows, "One bed." I shrugged at the king-sized bed,

"Clyde's doing, I bet. I'm pooped, though." I plopped down on the bed, digging under the sheets. Craig laughed and climbed in next to me, draping an arm around my waist and kissing me goodnight. Man am I lucky to have this guy as a boyfriend or what?

* * *

"Well, you look pleasantly weird today, Luce. What's the theme?" Token smirked, leaning back in his chair. We were having a complimentary breakfast.

First day: theme is Lolita. Punk Lolita, actually, since there are many types. I have on a lot of punk-related stuff such as tattered fabric, ties, safety pins and chains, screen-printed fabrics, plaids, and my hair is gelled up slightly in a bit of a fauxhawk. My bangs are streaked red today. I stick out a lot, in this 4 1/2 star hotel.

"Lolita. Punk lolita." I said cheerfully, swallowing a spoonful of Cheerios. "Finish your eggs, boy, we gotta hit the subway."

* * *

"AH! DON'T KILL ME!" Tweek yelled, punching the mugger in the face. Have I ever mentioned that Tweek boxes? Well, he does, ever since we were like, eight or something. Craig and Tweek, being the assholes they are, got in this big fight and Craig took up sumo wrestling, and Tweek boxed.

In New York subways, there is always some sort of pick-pocketer or mugger somewhere. Its always good to have fighting skills or a heavy purse to defend yourself. I doubt anyone in New York doesn't know some sort of karate. So nobody really noticed this little fight. We're used to it. I rolled my eyes, taking Tweek by his fist and dragging him onto the train.

* * *

"Now this is what I'm talkin' about!" I grinned happily, crossing my arms. First destination - FAO Schwartz, home of extraordinary toys, gifts, and collectibles.

Craig examined the animal kingdom animals, "Yes...animals murdered, stuffed, and made to look like stuffed animals." He pointed, "Lookit this. Its a gorilla in a red convertible with little pianos, trying to escape." He pointed to the stuffed panthers that were near the car, "And he's running over these rare black panthers while he's at it." I slapped my forehead,

"Shut up."

"Dude, check out the rack on that orangutan."

"Clyde, shut up!"

Tweek yelled, "AH! ITS THE FLU!"

I walked over to him, looking at the illnesses as stuffed animals. Clyde picked out the green stuffed illness called the flu, saying in a squeaky voice, "I killed millions in 1918!"

"Ugh..." I shook my head.

"Hey, look over here! Its a tiny Hummer!"

Craig uneasily lowered himself in the tiny seat. He looked at me with a smirk, "If you ever want your kid to become an asshole immediately, buy him this. Get in here, this is the shit." He pulled me into the shotgun of the mini Hummer and he started to drive, both of us laughing.

We got kicked out, though, when Craig drove into a stuffed animals display, knocking over a few cases.

"Your an idiot, Craig."

* * *

"Shit..." I mumbled as I raced around a corner, diving into a Starbucks, carrying the sack of jewelry. No, I didn't rob a jewelry store, these necklaces and bracelets are all mine. I traded them for a faux Van Gogh painting. Poor sucker thought it was the real 'Starry Night'. But hey, Bugs made it look pretty damn real. So I decided I might be able to make some quick money by selling them on the street, like a lot of people do. Turns out you need a street license or something like that. So...yeah...but anyway, I got at least 120$, thanks to the hour I spent out there.

Craig and I wanted to go ice-skating at the Rockefeller Ice Rink, but Token refused to pay (we spent all of our pocket money at FAO Schwartz) because he wanted to visit a couple of museums, so I needed money.

I took out my cell phone with a sigh.

"Craig, could you pick me up? I'm at Starbucks…no, the other one…we only went to two Starbucks, genius. Yeah…more than 100 bucks…the cops caught me. Forgot how much more stricter they are here than in South Park…okay, thanks."

After a few minutes, our rented car zoomed around the corner and I darted out of the coffee house and hopped in. I took out the green papers, "See? Nice and clean, am I right? Here's ten." I handed him a ten-dollar bill and we drove to the Ice Rink.

"Wheee!" I laughed as we twirled in circles around the Rink, trying not to fall over. Let's see…the teachers call me clumsy…well, actually, they call me a clumsy jay-walking-punk-anarchist (whatever that means), but clumsy all the same. But that's only in school. On ice I'm as graceful as a swan.

"OW!"

Craig snickered at my fallen form. I smirked at him, rubbing my head, "Shut up and help me up, loser."

He shrugged and gripped my hand, pulling me to my feet, "I'm not a loser. I'm a winner." I shrugged as we settled for skating hand-in-hand rather than circles,

"Yeah, you keep telling yourself that and it might come true. But that's unlikely."

He rolled his eyes and laughed and skated faster, swerving around people obnoxiously (dragging me along as well), and screaming at little kids who got in his way. And you know what I did next? I blushed. Do you know how horrifying that is? Very! I know, I know, he's my boyfriend and everything, but seriously, I don't blush! It's just not what I do, okay? Is this proving something? Why am I blushing? GODDAMNIT!

Craig, though, is mistaking it for me being too cold, and insults my fashion. He says I shouldn't be wearing a skirt. Oh, what does he know? So we quit the skating for a while but the problem is that whenever he said something funny or sweet, or got close to me, my face would turn warm. He noticed and so we headed back to the hotel and I told him he should go to them museums with Token. Being the sweetie pie he is, he offered to stay, but I pretty much shoved him out the door (good-naturedly, of course). I'm pretty sure I'm becoming a very, very girly girl the more I'm around that boy.

I logged onto my AIM and immediately, I was attacked by none other than Sera:

XNao.: LUCY!! FINALLY! Come into chatroom, now!

_You have entered Serafina's Chambre_

Chambre is French for 'room' or whatever.

**XNao.** _has joined the room_

**Miss_Shopaholic** _has joined the room_

**XxPoisonIvyxX** _has joined the room_

**Kalika_Barlow** _has joined the room_

**JVM-sp150** _has joined the room_

**Biracial_Beauty **_has joined the room_

**xxInTheSkyWitDiamondsxx **_has joined the room_

**XNao.**: The one, the only, Lucy M! w00t!

**XxPoisonIvyxX**: About time you got online, Luce! we've missed you!

**Kalika_Barlow**: Yeah, we're all dying to know how ur doing :D

**Biracial_Beauty**: Its been boring here without u DX

**JRV-sp150**: _sweet _i'm the only dude here. cyber sex anyone? 7-way! oh, hey luce :)

**Miss_Shopaholic**: LUCY! LUCYLUCYLUCY! your there! in new york! how is it?

**xxInTheSkyWitDiamondsxx**: first of all, john, shaddup about sex. second of all, i'm great! hell, we all are. just got back frm ice skatin in the Rockefeller Ice Rink with Craig

**BiracialBeauty**: awww cute!

**xxInTheSkyWitDiamondsxx**: sorta...we kept falling XD

**Kalika_Barlow**: Still romantic

**XNao.**: So did you wear those...clothes Kaysha and I packed for u? ^^

**JRV-sp150**: what're u guys talking about

**Miss_Shopaholic**: me and sera bought lucy lingerie for craaaig ;)

**JRV-sp150**: kinky :)

**XxPoisonIvyxX**: you DID!!?? did you wear it yet, luce?

**xxInTheSkyWitDiamondsxx**: no, losers, i have NOT. we got here real late last night and i didn't have...time. brb

_You have entered a private chat with _**BiracialBeauty**

**xxInTheSkyWitDiamondsxx**: just wonderin real quick: how's the whole cartman issue?

**BiracialBeauty**: nobody actually knows except you (and ivy), but its been nice

**xxInTheSkyWitDiamondsxx**: seriously, HOW have you been keeping this from us for a year and a 1/2??

**BiracialBeauty**: we've been careful and made sure we'd fight in public

**xxInTheSkyWitDiamondsxx**: i CAN NOT believe you hadn't told me...guys need my approval to date you! (jk)

**BiracialBeauty**: can it, luce, lets get back to the other chat

_You have exited the chat_

_You have re-entered Sera's Chambre _

Soon enough, my friends had to log off, promising me that they'd be online tomorrow and would be calling me 24/7 (I made sure to shut my phone off). I put away my laptop and stretched, glancing at the time. 9:00pm. Well, that day went by fast. Poo. Oh well. I yawned, bending down over my suitcases to search for my pajamas when I found it:

_THE LINGERIE _

It looks pretty simple, actually. Maybe that's because there's not really...a lot of it. Very skimpy, a plain black. Sweet _Jesus _my friends are insane...

"What is _that_?"

I turned my head to see a smirking Craig step out of the bathroom, a fog of steam following him. A fluffy pink towel is wrapped around his waist and he's drying his hair with another white towel.

"When did you get here?"

"Eh, 20 minutes ago. You were on your laptop, so I just jumped in the shower. Back to my previous question," He dropped the white towel he was drying his hair with, and pointed at the lingerie, "What is _that_?"

"Lingerie, courtsey of Kaysha Black and Serafina Fabiano." I said with a nod. Goddamnit. I can feel my face getting red again.

"Aw, I'm sure they meant well." He smirked, leaning against the doorframe of the bathroom. I stood up with narrowed eyes,

"Just shut up, take the towel off, and get on the bed, Tucker. I gotta go change."

* * *

**Lol, it would be lovely if you don't think of the kinky things that follow. If you do, then your very weird. **

***sigh* Good ol' New York. This is a filler chapter, the rest of my plans for the whole New York thing shall be revealed in the next chapter. And the chapter after that is gonna be AWESOME. Even though you might hate me for it. Let's just say there's gunna be Kenny in it. And John, your also gunna have a rather big part in the chapter after the next as well. So, hang tight everyone. **

**Oh, glad to say** Kalika Barlow **is still reading. w00t! So her character, Ava Cullen (loltwilight), shall continue to appear throughout the remainder of this story. But where is** dark child 1995**? Don't know. But, if she manages to comment, Cassandra Nightwish (cool last name :D) will be able to appear. **

**OCs:**

**Kaysha Black:** Miss Universe -x (**who changed her screenname yet AGAIN ;) but its still cool)**

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Ivy Valmont: **Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera":** XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson:** JVM-sp150

BiracialBeauty** left an awesomely awesome comment. It was fuckin HUGE. So a special thanks to her. RAWR.**

**I think I might be drunk.**

**And to **Miss Universe -x**, since my PMs are mysteriously not working, I shall tell you about Lucy's angsty-plotline you requested (everyone else just skip over this part): Love triangle (some random chick is crushing on Craig) or family problems (Bugs does something really really really REALLY badly horrible to her). You can choose, which ever once goes good with your plotline, hun. **

**Well, thats it. PM me if you want to know anything. Don't expect a PM back because they AREN'T WORKING GODDAMNIT.**

**Um...bye,**

**KB**


	23. Happy Lovings, Lucille

_"Hey Craig! What's up?" I bounded through his door cheerfully. Craig's home is always welcoming. I twirled a bit before I plopped down onto his couch, sinking into the cushion. I beamed up at him. But he wasn't smiling, smirking, or even glaring. He was looking...sad? No, Craig is hardly ever sad. _

_"You sounded pretty urgent over the phone? Is something wrong?" I asked, my smile fading. Craig cleared his throat as he sunk down into the cushion next to me,_

_"No, nothing's wrong. I mean, well..." He scratched the back of us, "I just wanted to talk about...us."_

_"Us? What about us?"_

_He cleared his throat again, his purple eyes loosing brightness, "I just think we should...stop. Stop being...together. As in boy/girlfriend. And get back to being...best friends, y'know?"_

_I stared at him for a moment. I glanced around the room, looking for any possible evidence that this might be a trick. I looked back at Craig, stuttering. I gathered myself and asked firmly with a deep frown, "You're breaking up with me?"_

_"No! Well, yeah, but I just want to be friends again, Luce, not boyfriend and girlfriend, because that's just...to complicated for me."_

_"For _you_?" My eyes narrowed as I raised from the couch, fists balling up, "This relashionship isn't only about you, _Craig_! It's about both of us, together! It's what a relashionship is! _Two people_, goddamnit! Do you even care about that? Do you even care about _me_?"_

_He stood up as well, and I almost backed down. Has he always been this tall? But I stood my ground. _

_"Of course I care about you! I put my whole life aside so this relashionship could work, and now I just want my life back! Is that to much to ask!?"_

_"When you asked me to be your girlfriend, I became your life! Don't you know that!? Everyone knows that!" I snarled, stomping my foot angrily. Jesus Christ, it's in all the movies and everything. _

_"Maybe I'm not everyone, then! Man, I wish I never asked you to be my girlfriend..."_

"Lucy!"

I sat up in the bed suddenly, breathing heavily. I shivered, pulling the blanket over my skin. Craig sat up slowly next to me, his hand still on my shoulder from when he shook my awake, frowning in concern, "It was just a dream, babes. It's okay, it was just a dream."

"More like a nightmare..." I mumbled, wiping my forehead, which was covered in sweat...even though I'm freezing. Craig draped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer,

"Is this one of those dreams you want to talk about? Or should I just shut up?"

I shook my head, "I'd rather keep this to myself..." He nodded, kissing my head,

"Whatever you say, babes." He mumbled into my hair as I wrapped my arms around him. He hugged me back. I mentioned I would take a shower, and that he should go back to sleep, since it's only 6:00am. But then I added that he better shower later, because we _both _reek with sweat and...ah, how should I put this? Well, let's just say it was good sex.

I checked today's theme: Egyptian. So I grabbed the bottle of golden hair dye and headed to the bathroom.

...**onemoment**...

I carefully wrapped the fluffy white towel around me with a sigh as I stepped out of the shower. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My black hair stuck to my skin. It was totally black, since I washed yesterday's hair dye out. I grabbed the hair dryer and began the long process of drying my hair when suddenly, friggin' _Clyde _decides to burst into our suite. He has a white towel wrapped around his waist, nothing else. I raised an eyebrow, shutting off my hairdryer, staring at him from the open bathroom door.

The brown-haired boy glanced at the sleeping Craig and spotted me in the bathroom. He grinned, "Luce! Wanna get a massage? I took some money out of Token's wallet!"

I blinked, "Why are you dressed in a towel, Clyde?"

He looked at me up and down, "I can ask you the same thing."

"I just got outta the shower!"

"Touche. I was down in the spa/fitness center, in my towel and everything," He pointed at the towel around his waist, "But then I decided I needed a buddy. Token didn't want to, Tweek is at Starbucks, and Craig is asleep. So that leaves you! Let's go!"

I sighed, "I picked a bad day to be me..."

* * *

I sighed contently as the massager rapped his fists against my back. It didn't hurt – I could feel the knots loosening under my skin. Clyde and I are in the spa/fitness center, getting first-class massages, wrapped in towels. Hell, I haven't put clothes on all day (considering I fell asleep in the nude, thanks to Craig).

Clyde smiled at me cheerfully, "Now aren't you glad I dragged you down here?"

"Very."

He smiled, "Sweet. You seemed a bit sad before. Something up?"

"Bad dream." I muttered, closing my eyes.

"About what?"

"Clyde, I don't want to talk about it."

"Lu_ceeee_. Tell _meeee_." He pressed. I sighed. Clyde probably won't back down. Might as well tell him now.

"Craig broke up with me in the nightmare." I said shortly. His boyish grin vanished and he looked at my sympatheticly,

"Harsh, dude."

I sighed as the massager continued to knead through my skin, "I guess I'm pretty pathetic, getting upset over that. I'm loosing my touch, me thinks." I sighed breezily, looking away from Clyde's concerned eyes.

"No way, Luce. That's impossible." He grinned once more and decided to take a nap.

* * *

"Nah, I've been okay. How about you?" I spoke into my cell phone as I walked down the street to Starbucks, where I would be meeting Tweek. I had gotten dressed after the comforting massage, in the Egyptian theme: A white tank top and a flowing gold skirt, with a lot of gold bangles and a pair of fashionable golden sandals. A golden sash is tied around my forehead, under my golden and ruby-colored bangs. I also applied a bit more black eye make-up than usual.

"Nothing really exciting here in South Park." Ivy Valmont sighed through the phone. "Well, I went on a date with Kyle yesterday, and it was real fun! We went to Whistlin' Willies,"

"Whoa, cheap-ness! Kyle's cutting it a bit close. I might need to give him a little talking to..."

"I didn't finish, Luce."

"Righto. Go on."

"I was kind of surprised he would bring me there, but it turned out to be real fun with all of the cheesy, but really funny movies they played, the good pizza, and, of course, the Kyle Charm. And at the end he asked if I enjoyed myself, I said yes, and he fessed that he just wanted to see if I would enjoy a lower-class sort of thing. Isn't that sweet?!"

"I think."

"Well, it is. Hey, I gotta go, I'm going shopping with Ava at the mall."

"Aw, you guys are lucky. I miss all of the crappy shops you have over in South Park."

"Lucy, you have all of _New York City_. Get a grip!"

"Shaddup, Ivy. I gotta go meet up with Tweek, so I'll talk to you later, Ives."

"See ya."

I put my cell phone away and pushed the Starbucks doors open and spotted Tweek sitting by the counter, drinking coffee. I smiled, taking a seat next to him, "Hey, Tweekie, how are you?"

"H-Hey Lucy, I'm f-fi-fine. ACK!" His twitch and scream went almost unnoticed. I ignored the stares as I continued a conversation,

"Well, what do you wanna do today? I don't want to be in the suite today, the cleaners are coming and I'd rather not be there when the change the sheets. Their dirty." I smirked at the last part. Tweek laughed (which made me smile bigger, because Tweek rarely smiles). I tapped my knuckles happily against the table, "So, anything you want to do? I'm open to anything, I've been everywhere!" I paused before adding, "But it has to be after I give Ray over to this music store downtown to get polished." I patted my saxophone case that was held in my hand.

"W-we'll deci - JESUS! - decide o-on our way to the m-mu-music store, I guess..."

I nodded and Tweek paid for his coffee and we headed out towards the street to hail a taxi. But before we could, my name was called,

"LUCY! That you!?"

Tweek and I turned to see an African American with a graying beard and a paper-boy cap, smiling boldly. Tweek, of course, freaked out because he had no idea who the heck this man was. He did so by tackle-hugging me protectivly and screaming, "AH! DON'T RAPE HER OR I'LL KILL YOU!" Well, at least I know his heart's in the right place. I peered at the man curiously, his street band smiling behind him. I reconigzed him with a snap of the fingers,

"Charlie? Charlie Green?"

"The one and only." He said in his scratchy, happy voice. I wiggled out of Tweek's grip, hugging Charlie,

"I haven't seen you in forever, my man! I can't believe it!" I let go of him, pulling a twitching Tweek over, "Tweek, this is Charlie Green, the Soul Man of Manhattan. I haven't seen him since I moved away when I was seven, but he taught me everything I needed to know about music. And these guys are practically my brothers," I gestured to the rest of Charlie's band, before continuing, "And Charlie, this is one of my very best friends Tweek, from Colorado. Ignore the twitching and spastic actions, it's what he does."

"...right. Hey, so you got a saxophone, finally?"

I nodded cheerfully, taking out Ray, "Yep! Well, the school funded for part of it because of Band class, but money is money. Usually its not my money, but, y'know..."

"You wanna play a few songs, Lucy? If you got time."

I glanced at Tweek who shrugged (or maybe he just twitched) and gave me a thumbs up. I smiled at him with a hug. Tweek has always liked my music, maybe more than anybody. Whatever, he liked it and I liked him for liking it.

Charlie adjusted the settings on his keyboard until they got that grand piano sound to it and muttered a few things to us and Tweek edged a bit away, getting ready for the sound.

"Ah, you can talk about the pit, barbecue  
The band was jumpin', the people too  
Ah, mess around  
They doin' the mess around  
They doin' the mess around,  
Everybody doin' the mess around!"

Ah, Ray Charles, one of my greatest role models for music (and life). I named my saxophone, Ray, after him, and I recall Charlie telling me he was named after him too (Charlie being a nickname for Charles). Hell, I might name my kid after him, he's so great.

"Ah, everybody was juiced, you can, bet your soul  
They did the boogie-woogie, with a sturdy roll  
They mess around  
They doin' the mess around  
They doin' the mess around,  
Everybody doin' the mess around  
Now, ah, when I say stop don't you move a peg  
When I say go, just ah, shake your leg  
And do the mess around  
I declare, do the mess around  
Yeah do the mess around,  
Everybody's doin' the mess around!!"

I laughed a bit. As I previously mentioned, Charlie Green taught me everything I needed to know about music, ever since I was five and tossed a few quarters into the hat next to the street band. I told him I liked saxophone best, and, since Charlie knew how to play every jazz instrument out there, taught me the basics. Band class and a few lessons taught me a bit more, and I learned everything else on my own.

Now let me have it there boy!"

I cheered a bit as Charlie went into the piano solo, glancing at Tweek, who gave me another thumbs up, even though he was shaking a bit more from all the noise. I noticed the hat was filling up with money.

"Go for it, Luce!"

I realized the piano solo was over, and, since I've listened to the song so many times, I know a saxophone solo comes next. So I blew into the mouthpiece, working my fingers over the main body, pressing the keys quickly, though skillfully (if I do say so myself). Craig also plays the sax, only it's the tenor saxophone, and he only uses it for Band class. Cartman plays the baritone sax and when Kimberly and I still hated him, and when he was fat, we always used to crack jokes that the bari saxophone fit Cartman because their both pretty damn big. We'll continue this until Kimberly makes the relashionship public. Even though Cartman isn't really that fat anymore (I bet he dieted for Kimi), the fat jokes never get old.

"Now this band's goin' to play from, 9 to 1  
Everybody here's gonna have some fun  
Doin' the mess around  
Ah, doin' the mess around  
They doin' the mess around,  
Everybody doin' the mess around  
Now you see that girl, with that, diamond ring  
She knows how to, shake that thing  
Mess around  
I declare, she can mess around  
Ah, mess around,  
Everybody do the mess around!"

After a few more songs, I decided to go, since Tweek and I needed to spend buddy time together. After that moment, Tweek and I visited Charlie and his gang everyday, enjoying every moment of it.

* * *

"Bother...can't believe this is our last day..." I pouted as I tapped my fingers gently against Clyde's head. I sat on his shoulders as he made his way up the several flights of stairs. He said it was for football - he couldn't get out of shape. But I swear, if the football team doesn't _stop _practicing, they're all going to end up looking like Mariusz Pudzianowski. Well, that and the fact that they don't get enough time with their respective girlfriends.

Yep, it's our last day here, in my hometown of New York City. I probably won't be visiting here again in a few years, tops, unless I decide to go to college around here. Or I might not even go to college...nah, I think I will. It'll give me something to do, I suppose. Of course, I'll be needing my friends there too, so I'll just listen to what schools they're going to and go with the flow.

Clyde worked up the last flight of stairs, "Well, at least you got a lot of souvieners."

"No, Clyde, _you _got a lot of souvieners."

"Oh. Right. Well, this is your stop." I hopped off his shoulders, getting my key card. Clyde added, "And Craig mentioned to look pretty. He's bringing you somewhere."

I rolled my eyes, smiling, "That boy has brought me to every expensive restaurant in New York, he's done enough."

"Apparently not."

I chuckled and entered the suite, going to my suitcases to change into a different outfit, with yet the same theme, which happens to be 'Sunny', which means yellow and gold colors. So right now I'm dressed in a yellow sundress and sandals with yellow gems...and that's about it, besides my yellow and orange bangs. Sometimes simple things are the best things. But since Craig said to look pretty, I shall look pretty. So I dressed into a yellow tanktop, with a little black dress thingie that had small gold designs to go over the tanktop, and yellow rain boots. And, of course, various rings and necklaces to top it all off.

I looked up at the knock on the door, "Craig, could you get that!?" I called. I scowled as Craig didn't come out of the bathroom, and the person knocked again. I sighed, gave my black hair another fluff, and went over to open the door. It was...Craig?

I looked over my shoulder, "I thought..."

"Yeah, yeah, you thought wrong. I was out buying these." He held up a bunch of yellow roses and I laughed, taking them from him. He had gotten my roses of colors that matched my outfit every day.

"Jesus Christ, Craig, you've bought me enough flowers, the plane people won't let me carry all of these on to the plane!" I chuckled as Craig likned arms with me, leading me towards the elevator. He just smiled, so I went on to another topic, "Where are we going anyway?"

Craig pressed the lobby floor button in the elevator, still smiling widely, "West Greenwich Village. The very heart of it."

* * *

"The Duplex!? This is a bar! Man, my parents never let me in here when I was tiny!" I cheered, dragging Craig towards the piano bar. It's on 61 Christopher St at 7th Ave., not really hard to miss. Its very big, white, and says 'The Duplex' in shiny letters.

Craig stopped my from going in, saying, "Try not to get to drunk, Luce, okay?"

"It's a bar, what am I supposed to do? I know you're going to get roaring drunk!"

"Good point, let's go." He pushed passed the door and suddenly, out of nowhere, screams and cheers arose, and everyone in the bar rushed to greet us, screaming "HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!" Real loud. Man, I remember when I had eardrums. Such a pleasent time. Then I realized I knew all of these people. Every single one of my friends from South Park were contained in the little bar. I began cracking up, seeing Ava and Sera on the stage, singing crappy show tunes, each of them holding empty glasses of beer. Yep, drunk. Ah, I bet everyone here is drunk by now.

"Hey, Luce, zis' a greeat shinndig..." I laughed at the drunken voice of John Vanson. I turned around and almost spazzed from the laughing attacked. He was completly decked out in every sort of wearable New York souviener ever. An 'I *heart* NY' tee shirt, New York boxers (he didn't even have pants on, for some reason you can decide), New York sunglasses, New York rings and necklaces, and even New York hats. Man, this guy must've spazzed when he saw all the vendors selling this kind of stuff.

"LUCY!" I gasped as I was almost tackled to the floor by Kaysha Black, fashionable as ever. The girls must've hit the New York shops. Here's hoping to that they have enough money to get back home. I laughed, hugging all of my friends, but soon enough, I was pulled from the raging crowd by none other than Craig Tucker.

He smiled, hugging me, "Happy Anniversary, Luce."

I smiled back, kissing him, "Happy Anniversary, Craig."

* * *

**This chapter is a bag of shit with a few words thrown into it. I have to say, it's not one of my best. I sort of lost interest, because I am SO excited for the next one. But I should stop complaining. The next chapter shall be packed with drama, but that witty humor we all miss shall be thrown in as well. As I said, Kenny and John shall have big parts, so hold tight. **

**This is a very short author's note :D Anywho...**

**Kaysha Black:** xMiss Universe

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Ivy Valmont: **Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera":** XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson:** JVM-sp150

**Humdeedum,**

**KB**


	24. Don't Murder Anybody, Lucille

_So there I was, minding my own business, walking down the Evergreen Terrace, which is a short strip of shops you could go to if you didn't feel like going to the mall. It's where my favorite 7-11 is. Anyway, I was eating one of those big-ass swirly lollipop thingies, thinking of how I should beat the Britains (Kaysha and Pip) tomorrow at dodgeball with Kevin (we're the Asians, since he's Chinese and I'm Filipino), and it was about midnight. I don't know why I was awake at midnight, but that moment, just when I was thinking of a super-awesome way to beat the Britains (it included pantsing Pip and reinforcing every hot guy in the class to distract Kaysha), I saw it. Him. _

_Craig._

_I saw the yellow puffball on his blue earflap hat first. I'm pretty sure that thing is radioactive or something, it's so noticeable in the dark...right, so, Craig was walking (actually, he was sort of staggering) a block or two ahead of me, he just came out of some alleyway. And naturally, since he's my boyfriend and all, I called his name, telling him to hold up for a sec. You know, so I could catch up. But he just kept on walking, hands in the pocket of his blue hoodie. I shrugged it off - he's probably just listening to his iPod, blasting that freakishly loud heavy metal stuff he has on there. How does he like that stuff? Who knows. _

_So I just ran after him. When I caught up, I smiled when he stopped walking..._

_"Craig! How goes it?" _

_I touched his shoulder as I said this. He flinched, turning his head to look over his shoulder, to look at me, and then my smile faded...considerably. His usually beautiful purple eyes were bloodshot and watery, and dead black. Like them black holes in outer space. His face was unusually pale, beads of sweat dripping down his forehead, even though it's pretty cold. I drew my hand away from his shoulder as he turned his body completely around to face me, keeping his hands in his hoodie pocket. I noticed his iris didn't change color...his pupils just got much bigger. He sniffed, wiping his nose with his sleeve,_

_"Lucy. Hey."_

_I coughed nervously. Something was wrong with Craig. "Uh, nothing. I just couldn't...sleep. So I decided to walk around a bit...what're you doing here?"_

_"Couldn't sleep either."_

_I rubbed the back of my head doubtfully. It's just weird...Craig is always such a heavy sleeper. Why would his sleep patterns change now?_

_For some reason, I remembered Health class. Health class about the symptoms of drug-use. And for some _other _reason I linked this all to what was happening. _

_I blinked, watching him rub his head. I took his hands, which were sweaty and shaking, away from his head, "What's wrong?"_

_"Headache." He muttered. He twitched slightly as I continued to hold his hands in my own. _

_"Craig..." His name came out as a whisper. A scared one at that. Yep, scared of my own boyfriend. Is that lame? Or is it right?_

_I swallowed, bracing myself for the answer by squeezing my eyes shut tight, "Drugs?"_

_I waited for a moment. No answer. So I cracked my eyes open to see Craig staring a sad stare at me. Something said yes. His sad eyes did. My own eyes widened, and anger, or what I thought was anger, bubbled inside my stomach. I took an abrupt step back, letting go of the boy's hands sharply. _

_"_Drugs_? You're on Godforsaken _drugs_!?" My hands balled up into fists, "How low can you _get_, Craig? I know you've been acting weird, you haven't been around as much. Is this why? You've been buying and taken_ fucking _drugs?" Should I have freaked out? I do not know. But wouldn't you spazz if you find out your boyfriend is taking the apapulco red?! "I just guessed you were down in the dumps 'cause of somethin' at home, so I stayed with you more than usual. You still didn't cheer up. I bought you anything you ever wanted. You still didn't cheer up. I did everything I could think of! You didn't cheer the fuck up!! Is this why? Because your ashamed that your taking drugs and lying to everyone, telling them that your goddamn fine!?"_

_He stepped forward, taking hold of my shoulders, hissing, "Keep it down, woman! Look, you don't understand-"_

_"I don't _understand_? Oh, I think I do. Drugs are for losers and low-lives, Craig! Now you're one of them?!" I flinched as his grip tightened and I then demanded, "Get the hell off me!" He kept his hands tightly clenched around my shoulders and he drew me close to his face, his black eyes narrowing,_

_"Shut. Up. _NOW_." _

_I obeyed. But I was still angry. _

_For a moment, we stood there (actually, he sort of picked me up since he's tall and everything), breathing in each other's faces, our eyes narrowed and full-out angry. I shoved at him with all my might (I must be pretty mighty, since he staggered back). I snarled,_

_"Get back to me when your not a fucking druggie. Better yet, don't get back to me at all."_

_We both stormed away, in different directions. _

_

* * *

_

Nope. Not a another dream. Not at all. It's...a memory. A memory that happened only an hour ago.

I wiped my tears away from my cheeks roughly. Now I'm crying? Aw, Goddamnit...the tears are black from them mixing with my mascara and eye-liner.

I sat behind the counter of the 7-11 on the Evergreen Terrace, the first place I knew I would find a friend. This friend being John Vanson. He works the night shift on Sundays. We all got back from New York a week ago. Everything was great. Only Craig, once again, had been disappearing again. Like I said before, I guessed it was just a family issue. Now I know it's not.

John handed the black-haired man his coffee, "Here ya go, Randy. Um, I think you might want to get home to Sharon..." The tired-looking Randy Marsh nodded, mumbling a thank-you and handing John a few crumbled dollar bills. He must've just gotten sober from a brief night of drinking. It was only 1:30am anyway. He usually gets home around six, according to Stan.

John waited until Stan's dad was out the door before hopping over from behind the counter to put up the 'We're Closed' sign on the door. He came back over the counter, filled up Slurpee cups with a mix of strawberry and raspberry slush, and handed one to me, as well as a tissue, as he took a seat next to me. He waited until I stopped crying enough to talk correctly. He adjusted his glasses,

"So. Tell me about it."

Suddenly, I burst. I told John every little detail about the break-up, including Craig's drug symptoms, my angry tones, and the whole dialogue. Have I ever said that John is a good listener? Well, he is. Under all of those perverted remarks, the guy has a heart, as well as ears ready to listen. When I paused, waiting for a response, he had one ready. He was comforting. I would've smiled proudly if I hadn't been...well, ya know, all sad and stuff. He was really listening and sympathizing, not one perverted quip (yet). By the time I finished, 45 minutes had already passed.

"Craig? On drugs? Wow..."

I sighed, swallowing the rest of my third Slurpee, "Don't tell anyone or he'll get in trouble."

"He's takin' drugs, he deserves it!"

"He'll be caught by the _cops_, John. Do you seriously want to see that happen to Craig?"

"After what he did to you, yeah."

"He's _never_ been caught by the fuzz. I have, twice, Clyde has three times, Token has once, and Tweek has twice. Craig's on a roll, John."

John sighed, patting my back, "I guess you're right. You should get to bed, so-"

"No! I need to get to Kaysha's."

John stood up, gathering the empty Slurpee cups and dumping them in the trash can. He ruffled his brown hair doubtfully, "Kaysha?...Why?"

"It's a girl thing."

"Whatever you say..." So John made a few calls and, after about 10 minutes, he announced that Kenny would be picking me up from here and dropping me off at Kaysha's, where Kimberly, Sera, Ivy, Ava, and Kaysha were all waiting.

* * *

"Hey Lucy-Lou, how goes it?"

Kenny McCormick wrapped his arms around me, hugging me to his orange parka. He smelled like spices and smoke. I shrugged meekly, lost in the fluffy, orange-ness around me. The blonde nodded to John, who perched on the counter, "Hey, John, thanks for the call. I couldn't sleep anyway, Kevin was snoring. Kaysha's, right?"

"Yep. Get here there safely, I think she's a bit dazed..."

"I'm right here, y'know..." I muffled into Kenny's parka.

"Yeah, whatever. See ya Luce."

Kenny scooped me up graciously, strolling out the door and dumping me in the shotgun of his old pick-up truck. He revved up the engine and with a small 'BANG!' we started forward.

Sir Slut over there managed to smile at me while not crashing into something, "So, Luce, is this break-up thingie something you want to talk about? Or shall I pleasantly shut up?"

I shrugged, "I just told the whole story to John back there. I need a break. But I'll tell you later."

"Sweet, gives me time to buy popcorn! So can I change the subject then?"

"That would help, Kenny."

So I ended up listening to a rather amusing story of Cartman getting skinny. Kenny's such a gossip. Obviously, he did it for Kimi, but he refused to admit it. But Kenny knew because the only thing that got Cartman going was a picture of Kimberly in a bikini. And I couldn't help but wonder how Kenny got ahold of a bikini-ed Kimi. But Ken is a mystery, he always has been...but that doesn't stop him from being a good friend.

Luckily, Kenny's a big talker. Usually I am to, but do you know what kind of situation I'm in right now!? So Kenny did most of the chatting, I just nodded and 'mm-hmmed' along with his words. He seemed fine by this. I doubt Kenny has ever been dumped. He's usually the dump-er not the dump-ee. So the girl's feelings get thrown in the dump-ster. Ha. Hahaha.

Eventually we got there and Kenny walked me to the door ("To make sure you don't collapse or have a stroke!", he said brightly.). He tapped on it quietly and Kaysha opened the door with a smile,

"Hey you two. Stella is at a sleepover at Kyle's with Ike and Bugs, and my parents are out of town. The house is all ours. Thanks for bringing her over, Ken."

The blonde saluted to Kaysha and patted me shoulder, smiling his innocently evil smile, "You'll be seeing a lot of me, Luce. Tomorrow, 7:30 in the morning sharp, I'm walking you to school. Got it?"

"Yeah." I nodded and Kenny winked, walking back to his pick-up and driving off. Kaysha dragged me inside and I was tackled by hugs. I sighed contently, getting ready for a night of movies, popcorn, high-fat ice-cream, and a helluvalotta crying.

* * *

"You are not going to school today, Lucy, you're staying right where you are!"

My eyes cracked open to see Mom standing over me, arms crossed stiffly over her chest, eyes wide and her lips pressed together tightly. Ugh. What did I do this time?

"So he finally broke up with you? The Tucker boy was always a nice one, even though he did flip people off a lot...I wonder what happened."

"You're serious? You're letting me stay home because I'm in the middle of a break-up!?"

Mom puffed out her red hair with a smirk, "I was a teenager before, Lucy, I've been through a lot of nasty break-ups. My mother never let me stay home. Instead, I had to face the pain. I don't want that to happen to you. That, and you look horrible, my love. Go wash up, I need to get to the Hookah to open up." She kissed my forehead and briskly walked out of the doorway. I sighed, leaning against the backboard of my bed, wiping my eyes.

"Craig broke up with you? Seriously!?" Bugs leapt onto my bed, eyes wide with amazement, "That's so _weird_. Do you want me to beat him up with my brass knuckles?!" She held up her hands, the brass knuckles shining. I yelped, leaping back,

"Jesus Christ, Bugs, where the bloody fuckers did you get those?!!"

She admired them proudly, "Ike made them for me. Took him like, five minutes."

I sighed, rubbing my throbbing forehead, "You know what you could do for me? Call Kenny, please, and tell him not to come, I'm not going to school."

"Yeah, yeah, sure thing. But today, you're spending the day with _me_. To get your mind of pretty little asshole-ish _Craig_ whose full of douchebaggery. All right? Great. Clean up, get dressed, and meet me downstairs in 20 minutes."

She hopped off of my bed, strolling away. I groaned, shoving the covers off of me and dragging myself to the shower. The hot shower must've did something, because my skin regained it's color and the numbness in my legs was starting to fade. I dyed blue swirls into my bangs today, putting on the swirl themed outfit for today - blue tee shirt with black swirls, black shorts with blue swirls, and one black boot with blue swirls and the other blue boot with black swirls. Sluggishly, I applied make-up. It took a while, since I really wasn't that into it. But in the end, I got the mascara perfect the the lip gloss popping.

I strolled down the stairs to find Bugs leaning against the door, "Four minutes late, sis."

"Hey, sue me. What are we gonna do first?"

She smirked at me, "Dad's toolshed. Chainsaw. Oak tree outside with you and Craig's initials on it." Her eyes blazed with happiness,

"Cut."

"It."

"Down."

* * *

**Well, folks, there you have it. A nice break-up scene and the beginning to the long trail of Lucy's recovering. I've assigned John and Kenny as Lucy's official break-up-buddies. Of course, the other lady OCs shall be making appearances, since friends comfort friends. **

**Oh yeah...by the way...please don't kill me.**

**Some of you guessed a lot of good things to happen in this next chapter. Yeeeeeaah not really...oh yeah, and **BiracialBeauty**, Craig and Lucy did use protection. I agree, I don't have time for another little Tucker running around, flipping people off (yet). **

**Kaysha Black:** xMiss Universe

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Ivy Valmont: **Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera":** XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson:** JVM-sp150

**This chapter was so short because it's only the beginning of Lucy's break-up adventure. You'll see what happens next...*laughs evilly*. Oh...one more thing. I forget to mention this in the last chapter...**Butters-St0tch**, I doubt your reading this, but if you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all.**

**Anyway, this chapter wasn't so bad and I'm on a writing roll, so hold on to your underpants, next chapter is in sights!**

**Love,**

**KB**


	25. Party Like A Rock Star, Lucille

_sputsputsputgggrrrRRRAWWWWWWWW!_

I cringed as the chainsaw whirred to life in my hands. Damn it's loud...Bugs gave me a thumbs up with her gloved hand. We're both wearing mouth-covers, safety goggles, gloves, and nose plugs. Yes, nose plugs - do you really want to get wood chips stuck up your nose? We don't.

I took a deep breath, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Lucy! Goddamnit, open your eyes!" Bugs hollered cheerfully. She let out a long laugh. She seemed to be in pure bliss. Good to know _she's _enjoying this.

I groaned, opening my eyes. Man, if Craig wasn't at school he totally would've heard this.

I raised the chainsaw and started to cut through the wood, suddenly wishing I had worn Mom's uber-fluffy earmuffs that make you seem deaf. I could see Bugs double over with gleeful laughter which I couldn't really hear. After 10 minutes (it's a really thick tree) the tree finally toppled down onto the side of the road. I pulled off my goggles, mouth-cover, and nose plug, "So what're we gonna do with it?"

"Bring 'ere in, Ike!" Bugs called.

I sighed heavily as Ike Broflovski drove backwards down the block in a truck. The one's loggers use to carry trees. He stopped and Bugs called down the other side of the road,

"C'mon, Stell!"

Stella Black drove down the other end of the block with one of those things you see at BJs and Home Depot that lift heavy things and make annoying beeping sounds. She lifted the tree, putting it in the back of the truck Ike was driving, and the two kids hopped out of the heavily dangerous machines, towards Bugs and I. Stella attacked me with a hug,

"Craigy broke up with you! It's _hooooooorrible_!" She gasped, sobbing. Which sort of made me tear up. But I blinked the tears away and glanced at Bugs,

"Now what do we do?"

"Hm...well, we gotta dump that tree somewhere, then...hey Luce, what was Craig's favorite food?"

"Hamburgers. Cheeseburgers. Ahm, anything with burgers at the end."

"Chocolateburgers?" Stella piped up.

"Probably."

Bugs waved her hands in the air, annoyed, "Shaddup, I'm trying to think." She stroked her imaginary beard curiously, "Ah...I see..." She got this scary evil look on her face and she hopped into the truck, "Let's go. I know the perfect place."

* * *

"You're taking me to the hamburger place because that was Craig favorite food? That doesn't make sense, Bugs." I said bluntly as we stood across from the street from the Burger Joint. Bugs patted my back,

"We're not going to eat there, Lucy. See Hammy the Hamburger?" She pointed to the guy in the hamburger suit, "We're gonna -" She paused before shrugging, "You just watch. Let's go, guys." The three thirteen-year-olds ran across the block...and leapt on Hammy the Hamburger. Ike was kicking in the balls, Stella was biting him, and Bugs was punching his face. I sighed. Have you ever been an eighteen-year-old with a bunch of _thirteen_-year-olds? It's not all that fun for the eighteen-year-old.

* * *

So we were just amiably walking down the street, trying to figure out what to do next. We already dug up all of the 'Do Not Go On Grass' grass we could find, raided the Cartmans fridge, vandalized the middle school property, ran away from John's seriel killer relatives, and burned down Scott Tenorman's house. We couldn't decide what to do next.

"Lucy!"

We turned to see Kenny running towards us, lifting me up in a bearhug. 3:00pm already? Time flys when your wreaking havoc.

He set me back on the floor after spinning around a few times, "Bugs, Ike, Stella." He nodded to them cheerfully, "Have you been taking care of Lucy?" He patted my head annoyingly. The three gave him thumbs up and decided to go paint Kaysha's room pink and yellow, so they ran off. Kenny grinned impishly at me,

"So. What do ya wanna do today? I'm wide open for suggestions, homework sucks balls."

"Lovely. And I dunno what to do. My brain isn't really functioning right."

"Hm. C'mon, let's go to Stark's Pond and ice-skate. Remember when we all went to the Rockefeller Ice Rink and showed off our kickass skating skills?"

Nobody in South Park can't skate. When we were in New York, our last day at around 11, we took up the ice rink, twirling and spinning for the girls (and Butters), and ramming into everyone for the boys. Very enjoyable.

Kenny took my arm and dragged me all the way to Stark's Pond.

* * *

I swear I'm getting more depressed as the days go on. I think it's 'cause I'm realizing Craig pretty much isn't coming back. Or maybe because it was _me_ who broke off our relashionship, not him. But it really doesn't make a difference, he's gone and not coming back. 3 weeks its been, since I've seen him. All of my friends have been coming over, pitying and everything, which is kinda pathetic on my part, but I think I would be more sad if they _didn't_ come. Suprisingly, the guys have helped out to. Mostly Kenny and John, actually, who've been taking me everywhere. Like bodyguards, quote Ava.

"A party? Really? I dunno, Ken..." I shrugged, throwing my bag and keys on his ratty couch. The McCormicks are still poor and everything, but I think Kevin got a job at some restuarant, so they have a food salary, and Carol is job-hunting. Stuart is going to those alchoholic council thingies. Kenny also is looking for a job.

I had come over that Thursday night after he had called me over. And he greeted me, immediatly telling me about a party at John's. And frankly, I'm not sure if I'm ready to go to a big party yet. Getting all dressed up and putting on a bunch of make-up for a few hours of partying? I dunno...

Kenny smiled goofily, "Oh please, this'll get you excited, pumped up! Want some hot chocolate?"

"Sure."

He strolled into the kitchen, still talking, as I took a seat on the giant beanbag I got him for his birthday last year. No beer stains yet.

"C'mon, everyone is gonna be excited to see you! Ya haven't been in school for three days, people are gonna get suspicious." I heard the clanging of mugs and the snap of the milk cap.

I frowned, "You telling me nobody knows I'm not dating Craig anymore?"

Kenny poked his head out of the kitchen, "See! You're doing much better, you can actually say his name now! And you haven't been crying as much."

Yeah. I haven't, actually. I've been thinking a lot, to busy to cry.

"And no, not a lot of people know about you guys not being together anymore. Just the people you told, and Kyle."

"Why Kyle?"

"I think Ivy told him. Whatever."

"When's the shindig anyway?"

"Tonight, partying starts at 7:00. You in?"

"...maybe."

Kenny grinned, handing me a mug of hot chocolate, "Great. So you going to school tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Mom's not gonna let me stay home forever. Just don't expect me to go to _all _of the classes, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

We sat there silently, mulling over our own thoughts, sipping our drinks. Kenny still had that big smile on his face. At least he's happy. I let out a rather dramatic sigh, making him stare at me, suddenly alert.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah, sure, nothing. Tell meeeee!"

My face flushed red, "Um...how's Craig doing?"

Kenny groaned over-dramaticly, rolling his blue eyes, "He's what your thinking about every hour of every day, isn't he?"

"Yes." I answered bluntly. Kenny has never experienced break-up. He doesn't know what it's like. But I know he's just trying to help, so I don't get that huffy and mad.

"That's pretty stupid, Luce, I think-"

"Shut up Kenny, seriously. How is he?"

Kenny glared at me testily before giving in, "Depressed. He's been going to school, but only half his classes. Clyde, Tweek, and Token still hang around him. But if you're one of the people who know about you guys, then you can tell that they're pissed off at him. Your girlie friends are avoiding him greatly. He's flipping people off a hell of a lot more."

"Nice to know."

Kenny cleared his throat happily, "So, party? Tonight? Please?"

"Fine. But I'm not gonna be drinking."

"I don't care. How's the hot chocolate?"

"Yummy."

"Sweet. Now how 'bout some hot _white _chocolate?" He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"...shut up Kenny."

* * *

"It's so great your going out again. Thats totally getting over Craig. John mentioned people from North Park, Middle Park, East Park, and West Park are coming, so think of the guys your gonna meet! It'll be great!" Kimberly Shao burst happily as she tried to do something with my hair. But she couldn't settle on a style, much like Ava couldn't settle on skirts or shorts, much like Kaysha couldn't settle on diamonds or rubies, much like Ivy couldn't settle on lipstick or lip gloss, much like Sera couldn't settle of long-sleeves or short-sleeves, and much like Cassandra couldn't settle on black nail polish or purple nail polish. Did I really need all of these girls to help me get ready? Probably. But I don't want to admit it.

So today (tonights) theme is Poppin. Yes, poppin', like the song 'Lip Gloss'. And whenever I think about that song, I think about purple because my favorite lipgloss color/flavor is purple/grape. So I'm dressing in purple tonight.

"I'm not going to this party to meet guys, Kim."

"Yes, yes you are." She sang happily. Remember when I told you Kimi was a Taurus? Well, yeah, being a Taurus also includes stubborness.

"Whatever." I mumbled with a sigh.

Ava rolled her eyes, handing me a pair of black biker shorts and a plaid purple and black skirt, "I have to get outta here, Damien's picking me up from my house and I'm not even there. I'll see you guys at the party." We said our good-byes and she drifted down the stairs in the Avarice-fashion she always has. She's very polite and such, setting aside her rather morbid sense of humor. She and Damien are...lovers. Yeah, that's probably the word. Ava's fasinated by him. Really, everyone is fasinated by Damien Thorn. Ava the most. Hello, he's the son of Satan! And anyway, his red eyes are easy to get lost in. They're very pretty, and very evil all the same.

Kaysha handed me a faux diamond necklace (it looked real enough thought, but this is a party, I don't want people stealing my expensive stuff, so I just won't bring any), "It'll go with the black and purple-ness. Tell me, what are you, John, and Kenny doing tomorrow? Ken said he's bringing you somewhere."

I frowned at her through the mirror (Kimi didn't let me move my head), "He never said anything to me."

The Brit shrugged, "He said it'll be fun. You do realize I would have to come if it's gonna be fun, correct?" I gave her a thumbs up. I would've nodded, but again, I cannot move my head. Kaysha is a good friend, and very willing to do a lot of things. When she first came to South Park she was a tad hesitant. I guess she was just getting used to our freakish town. Like the time we took her to the South Park's 28th Annual Drunken Barn Dance thingamajig way-back-when, she even sang an embarassing karaoke song. She learned to open up a whole lot more. Well, she's always been a bit loopy, like the rest of us. She's just cool like that, I suppose.

"Ta-da!" Kimberly sang, finally drawing back from my hair. It was in two buns on either side of my head. They were styled so that a few locks spiked outwards, but the buns themselves were perfect. And my bangs, of course, are purple. I nodded at Kimi, giving her a thanks. She had always had a way with hair. Really, all of us have a way with fashion in general, but it's always so cool when Kimi does my hair, for some reason I will really never know. Kim and I share a sort of mother-daughter, older sister-little sister relashionship. I watch out for her, she watches out for me, and we get each other out of trouble. Or...we get each other into trouble. Same difference.

The girls were already dressed and everything, all fancy and casual at the same time. You gotta make sure it's the right mix of the two, or you'll stick out like a sore thumb.

Sera held up two shirts in front of me - the first black with purple letters reading 'Out Of My Mind...Back In Five Minutes', the second purple with black letters reading 'The Police Never Think It's As Funny As You Do'. I pointed to the police one, explaining that if the fuzz come, they'll get a laugh. We children lighten the boring lives of police anyway. It's beyond me how Sera chose those two tee shirts out of all of the purple shirts I have. But Sera has a unique sense anyway.

Ivy handed me a tube of lip gloss, "No need to put it on, unless your actually gonna kiss someone." She gave me an I-doubt-it look, followed up by a sympathetic one.

I dressed into the black biker shorts, black and purple plaid skirt, tee shirt, and black and purple sneakers and we were ready to go. I hummed quietly, clicking my purple nails against the railing as we decended down the stairs. Dad looked up from his paper at us and sighed, motioning for me to come over. I told the girls that they could wait in the car.

My dad is a cool guy, and that's rare when it comes to dads. But seriously, he is. He has brown hair, like Bugs, and works as a mechanic with his probably best buddy, Stuart McCormick. He hangs out at the bar with Stuart, Randy, Gerald, and the other dads, but doesn't get drunk a lot - only on weekends when we aren't busy.

He set his newspaper to the side, "A party?"

"Yep."

"With other people?"

"Obviously."

He glared at me testily, "Is...he gunna be there?"

"I can say Craig's name, now, Daddy, alright? And yeah, he'll probably be there." I mumbled, looking at my feet. He sighed, rubbing his hair,

"Don't talk to him. I used to like that kid..." He continued to mutter to himself, picking up the newspaper and continued to read the funnies (he doesn't care for anything else). I sighed, walking out the door.

* * *

"C'mon, isn't this fun?!" Kenny cheered, dancing like an idiot to 'Hey Mickey' by Toni Basil. Jesus. I shrugged. I was with Ivy, John, and Kenny on the dance floor, my other friends somewhere...else. John's house is pretty big (since he's rich and all), they could be anywhere.

"Hey John, don't you have a ping-pong table downstairs?"

I looked up from my feet at the mention of 'ping-pong'. John nodded and Kenny froze in terror, looking at me, horrified.

* * *

"Ping-pong!" I grinned cheerfully, leaping down the stairs to John's gameroom, where the ping-pong tables was.

John raised an eyebrow at me, "That's the first time you've smiled in a bazillion years. About table-tennis."

I rolled my eyes at him and smiled at Kenny, "C'mon, Kenny, let's play!"

"Ah, I don't think so." He chuckled, shaking his head. I raised my eyebrows, confused,

"What? Why?"

He placed his hands in his pockets with a sigh, "Well, you know how competitive you get, and while I say it's cute, others disagree, and I'm lying!" I glared at Ivy and John, who were snickering, and I pouted, crossing my arms,

"I'm not _that bad..._"

"Oh yeah?" Kenny scowled, "What happened last time we played?"

...

"...I punched you."

"And?" The blonde snapped.

"Ivy."

"_And_?" Ivy sneered.

"...I clunked your heads together."

"I still have a bruise there!" Kenny whined, taking a sip from his beer bottle. John laughed and I rolled my eyes. Ivy held up her ahnds,

"Alright, alright, I'll play. Just as long as we don't keep score."

"Then how do we know who _wins_?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Nobody, I guess." The redhead shrugged. I groaned,

"So we're just a buncha losers then? Super."

John shrugged, "I'll play ya."

I grinned at him, clapping my hands. Good ol' John, "Great!" I scowled as Kenny shoved me aside, waving his arms wildly,

"No, John, you can't! She gets crazy! This scar," He pointed to a long scar near his ear, "is from Pictionary!" John rolled his eyes, handing me a ping-pong paddle, getting one himself,

"Chill, Kenny."

We took our positions behind the table, cracking knuckles. John served, and we just tapped the ball back and forth for a bit. I chuckled, a bit, and it felt good. I haven't laughed in a long time. Suddenly, the little white ball flew past me, hitting against the wall. I gaped.

"Oh, and, um, by the way...I'm awesome." John smiled, twirling the ping-pong paddle in his hand happily. I rolled my eyes at Kenny's whisper:

"Oh dear God there's two of them."

John smirked at me, "Why don't we make it a little bit more interesting. I say ten bucks a game."

"Make it fifty."

"I'll make it a hundred!" John shot back.

"_One thous-_"

"OKAY!" Kenny interrupted, "Just play the damn game!"

* * *

"NONONONO!" I moaned as John pumped a fist of victory.

Kenny smiled in sastisfaction, "Great. You both won a game and I lost what felt like a _year_ of my life. So everyone goes home a winner!"

"Best outta three." I challenged.

"You got it."

Kenny rubbed his chin curiously, "Should I use my invisibility to fight crime or for evil...?"

* * *

I chuckled as I scored another point. John and I were both sweating. John took a deep breath, "Alright, it's tied again. 41 to 41." Ivy groaned and Kenny buried his face in his hands, his voice cracking with boredness as he moaned,

"Alright! Enough is enough! I-"

"NO! I still have just two more points to beat him!" I interrupted sharply. Kenny waved his arms in the air,

"LUCY! That was true an hour ago! I mean, look at you! Your hand is blistered, you can barely stand, and I still have no idea how your hair is still perfect!" Ha. Bobby pins do the trick. He continued, slowing down a bit, breathing slowly, "Alright, you proved your just as good as he is, now we missed half the party, so lets just go back to my place, have a giant turkey for dinner, take a shower, have sex, and shave your head!"

I rolled my eyes, "Why would we shave my head, Kenneth?"

"I dunno."

"And I can't just walk away! I've played four hours!"

"But-"

"Hey! You knew that taking care of a heartbroken girl is not easy, man! So shaddup and let me play! C'mon John, volley-"

Ivy scratched her head curiously, "Um, Luce? John fell asleep."

I groaned.

* * *

I laughed drunkenly at Cassandra's hardly-funny joke. But I just couldn't stop smiling and laughing. It's like I've been holding it all in since the break-up with Craig three weeks ago. Cassandra raised an eyebrow at me as I doubled over, dropping my bottle of bear, and fell to my knees, laughing manically. She rolled her eyes, offering me a hand,

"Your insane, Luce, ya know that?"

She helped me to my feet and we chatted for a while, observing the party casually, when I saw something. Purple eyes, staring right at me. And I know only when guy who has purple eyes:

Craig.

I stopped laughing...I stopped smiling. I took Cassandra's arm, "Lets go."

"What? Why?"

"Please, Cassandra. I need to get out of here.

* * *

**Well, did ya like it? I guess it wasn't that bad. **

**Well I'm starting plans for the last few chapters, and everyone will be all-grown-up (around 23, I'd say), so I'll need to know about your OCs: If they're married (and if they are, to who), pets, kids, jobs (thats an important one), and other things you think would be important. If they're personality changes, tell me, if they look different, tell me. Give me all of this information via reviews, and if you've left anything else, just send me a PM 3**

**Kaysha Black:** xMiss Universe

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Cassandra Nightwish:** dark child 1995

**Ivy Valmont:** Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera":** XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson:** JVM-sp150

**Hey, **dark child 1995 **is back with us! Yay! **

**Not much to say in this A/N...if you have any questions, just ask 'em in the reviews!**

**Love ya,**

**KB**


	26. PrisonBattlefieldSchool, Lucille

"Hey, shrimp cocktail, what're you doin'?"

I used my nickname for Bugs - I used to just call her shrimp, but I stretched that out to shrimp cocktail. Anyway, I raised my eyebrows at my little sister, who was stretched on the lawn with her sunglasses on. She was dressed in her Billabong hoodie with the sleeves rolled up, and her nuddy-pants, which are literally nude-colored pants, which are no pants at all. So she wore only her underwear, her Bermuda shorts lying beside her. A large cup of Coke was held in her hand. Bugs never really cared what people thought of her (after she got her rep _as _a person who never really cared what people thought of her), and anyway, South Park-ians are used to little kids running around, half-dressed. But I couldn't blame her - it was pretty warm today.

She raised her sunglasses, grinning stupidly, "Nuuuuuthin'. What're _you _doin'?" She pointed at me, eyes suddenly bulging slightly. Is she high or somethin'? Man my little sister is growing up to be one weird freak. I'm so proud…

"I'm goin' over to Kenny's with Kaysha. He's taking me, her, and John some place only it's he and John who know." I explained, hopping down the steps, "He said to wear a bathing suit, and not a bikini. Which is weird for Kenny."

Bugs shrugged carelessly, sitting up on the lawn, "Whatever. Give me details when you come home. Want me to tell Mom your out?"

"Left a note on the fridge and I ordered you a pizza from Shakey's," She licked her lips at this part. Everyone loves Shakey's, "so you can invite your scary little friends over. I won't be home 'till late, according to Kenneth."

She nodded, "What time is it?"

"9:00am."

"Ah. Sun's in the right place, then." She tugged off her hoodie, now only dressed in her undies and Powerpuff Girl tanktop, placing her sunglasses and hoodie next to her shorts, pulling her bangs back with a headband, and turning on the radio. I guess she was sunbathing.

I strolled down the block in my frayed jean short shorts, blue sandals with a bubble pattern on them, and a blue tank top with bubble patterns (my one-piece bathing suit also had a bubble pattern), and my black hair is tied up in two ponytails with blue hair ties, my bangs light blue. Today's theme is Bubbly Blue, if you didn't know.

I rounded the corner, whistling to 'Bare Necessities' from the Jungle Book, which I was watching last night after John's party. Old Disney classics make me vair happy.

I knocked on the Blacks' door, stopping my whistling once Mrs. Black (or as Kaysha calls her, Mrs. VonTwat) answered. Kaysha has a purdy big house, due to her rich-ed-ness.

"Hiya, Mrs. Black, Kaysha in?"

"Yes, Lucy, she's upstairs. You two are going out today?"

I nodded as she let me in, "Yep. Thanks, Mrs. Black!" I hopped up the stairs, two-by-two, knocking on Kaysha's door, before letting myself in,

"Miss _KAAAYYSHAAAA_!"

I heard a groan and a mumble of curses from the bed. I grinned, bouncing over to her, "Wakey-wakey, baby, we're going out!"

Kaysha rolled over so her back faced me…but I could tell me loudly-ness woke her up, "Ugh. Lucy, your such a butt."

I skipped over to her bed, poking her rapidly, "Wakeupwakeupwakeupwakeup!"

She tried to swat my hand away, "Why are you so hyper!?"

"I just had five cups of coffee." I said with a shrug. I briefly wondered if that was bad for me. Well, Tweek has coffee all the time, and look how he turned out!…oh. Oh, I see…whatever. I continued to poke Kaysha, "C'mon, you gotta get dressed! Kenny's taking us somewhere and you gotta wear a bathing suit!"

She laughed sleepy laughter, "A'course we do, it's Kenny."

"Just get up Kaysha."

I grabbed her by the feet, tugging valiantly, but she clutched the corners of her bed, tugging even more valiantly. I didn't see the point, she was probably wide-awake already. So I used back-up, "Hey, STELLA! Get in here and wake your sister up!" I heard a happy little squeal and 13-year-old Stella bounded through the door and cannon-balled right onto Kaysha's back. I grinned. Stella is a very active person.

Kaysha, very much awake now, started screaming nonsense at Stella (who was laughing happily), and practically shoved her out the door. She breathed heavily for a moment, before shooting me a glare,

"Thanks."

"No problem! C'mon, we gotta find you something to wear…"

I flung open her closet, totally messing it up, listening to the yawns of Kaysha as she entered her bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her as she washed her face and everything, brushing her hair to make it look presentable. I don't get her sometimes. The only one she'll be seeing before we do her hair is me. But she always has to be perfect in hair wherever she goes. Actually, a lot of us girls are like that.

I chucked a red one-piece at her, "Put it on, hurry up, we're gonna be laaaate!"

"One-piece?"

"Yeah."

She quickly changed as I continued to bury my head in her piles of clothes, looking for something to match the bathing suit. I threw her a pair of frayed jean shorts, like mine, only darker, and a solid red spaghetti-strap tanktop. She quickly got dressed and I tied her hair up in a perfect ponytail, and she put on her red sandals, and we darted out of the house, running all the way to Kenny's.

* * *

Kenny and John were sitting on the hood of Kenny's old, rusty pick-up truck, already dressed in their swimming trunks and tee-shirts. John had a red and white cooler (probably filled with beer) sitting on his lap. The two boys looked up as they heard the funny, flapping sounds of our flip-flops. I did my best to ignore the yelling from inside Kenny's place. I guess his dad's airlocked again.

Kenny greeted me with a biiiig hug, and didn't let go. He picked me up, carrying me over to the back of his pickup, sitting me down and closing up the end after he gently-not-so-gently-but-gently-enough-to-be-considered-a-joke shoved Kaysha in after me. He added as he opened the door to the front, "Y'know, there's only two seats. You guys get the back since John got here first." Lucky Johnnycakes, then. Kaysha earned her sack-of-flour-with-glasses a punch in the arm before he got into the other seat.

So when Kenny is behind the wheel of a car, he goes fucking apeshit. He ignored our yells and shrieks from the back and basically just accelerated. He slammed the anchors on vair sharply at every stop light, causing K.K and I to go tumbling. We ended up with loads of laughs (and bruises) by the time we got out of South Park town-limits, and soon enough we were cruising down an empty dirt road. I tapped on the back-window, which John slid open for me. I questioned,

"Where are we going, anyway?"

He shrugged, "You'll see," And he, quite abruptly, shut the back window again. Kaysha raised her eyebrows at me and we took turns to see who could stand up the longest on the rest of the bumpy ride...only to end up with more fab-looking bruises on our ankles.

* * *

Boys are weird. The ugly ones will only be comic nerds and, in some occasions, adorable in that geeky way, and the hot ones will only be sex gods and, in some occasions, nice and kind. But two boys I actually do understand are Kenny and John. Both perverts, insane, but have a heart under everything. But they're still insane.

"Cliff diving? Are you kidding me!?" Kaysha gasped snappily. We stood, shivering a bit, in our bathing suits, looking over the cliff into the waves below us. The water looked cold.

Kenny grinned, pulling his orange tee-shirt off, "Yup! It's real fun."

Kaysha frowned, glancing at me, "Have you ever gone cliff diving?"

I nodded, continuing to peer over the ledge, "Yeah, first time when I was 15, and I did it three times after that. Recreation, sort of. But never this high! Jesus Kenny, people are gonna think we're comitting suicide!"

"Do you actually see anyone around here?" Stupid Kenny always being right..."Who's going first?" Kaysha and I both backed up and John, being brave, shrugged,

"I'll try." He took off his tee shirt and handed Kenny his glasses. Kaysha and I giggled. John has this weird...power, that whenever he takes off his glasses, he becomes Mr. Sex God, and utterly irresistable. But I've seen him un-glasses-ed a bunch of times, and I've learned to control myself. Kind of. Anyway, John backed up a bit, adopting a madman grin, and bolted forward, diving right off the cliff. Kenny, Kaysha, and I quickly moved forward just in time to see him cannon ball right in to the water. We held our breaths for a moment...and cheered as he came back to the surface, roaring with laughter, motioning for us to come in. Kenny didn't care to hesitate and dived right off the cliff, joining John in the water.

Kaysha and I looked at each other. Eh. We grabbed each others hands and jumped off the cliff, screaming and laughing all the way.

* * *

"So you're goin' back to school tomorrow?" Kenny asked, taking a gulp of beer.

I nodded, smiling a bit, "Yeppers. Kimi and Sera are coming over in the morning to give me a pep talk or something. Kaysha here would've come, but I already woke her up early enough t'day."

The four of us sat on the cliff's edge, letting our legs dangle over the side, taking gulps of Bud Lights, watching the sky turn from blue to beautiful, pastel-y colors, and the water switch from a crystal blue to a glittering gold. Yep, the sun was setting. We've been here since 10am, at least, cliff diving, and listening to John's portable radio blast old, vintage-y songs that our ancestors listened to. I have to say...I'm glad Kenny brought me here. I had fun. And fun is something I've been needing since...you know. Kenny uses his brain, knowing where to bring me when I'm on the brink of becoming an emotionless zombie, and John...well, as Sera would say, he has a penis _and _a heart.

Kaysha glared at me, "Hey, you never told me I had to wake up early. I have a right to be pissed off at you, Lucille Montgomery!"

I snorted, "Eh, it wasn't that early, Kaysha Black. I had to give time to have Kenny get over his early-8am boner."

No, I don't know if Kenny has a boner at 8:00am. But this is the story of my life - drinking beer and making perverted jokes with perverted friends.

I yelped, dropping my beer, as Kenny scooped me up, "You so did not just say that!" He backed up, and ran forward, launching off the cliff, hugging me, laughing, as he plunged through the air, the salty waves rushing up towards us. Before we splashed in, he smiled, giving me a big, sloppy kiss, mumbling against my lips,

"Your welcome, fuck buddy."

I'll have to slap him later.

* * *

"WAKE UP SOILDER, OPEN YER EYES, YOUR GOING TO THE BATTLE FIELD T'DAY, OR ELSE I WILL HAVE TO KILL YOU!!"

My eyes shot open in alarm as my bedroom door burst open, screams filling my room. I yelped as the lights flickered on, and the curtains were pulled back, sunlight pouring into my room. I rubbed my eyes, snarling bitterly, "Hey, remember when I had corneas?"

"SHUT UP, SOILDER, AND GET THE FUCK UP!"

I sat up in my bed, squinting at Serafina Fabiano. Insane bitch. She stood before me dressed in forest colors and cargo shorts, and black marks on her cheekbones like a football player.

"Is that eyeliner...?"

"I SAID SHADDUP AND GET UP! I-" Kimberly Shao thankfully shoved Sera to the floor, telling her to shut the hell up. I slapped my forehead. Well, at least they got me awake. Kimberly took my hand, pulling me to my feet,

"C'mon, Luce, get in the shower. Me and Sera will attack wardrobe detail. What's today's theme, may I ask?"

"Uhm, Google."

"Google? As in the number?"

"Nah. Google as in the search engine. Y'know, red, yellow, blue, green, and white."

"Ah. Go on, get in the shower."

I nodded, grabbing a towel from the basket outside of the bathroom, and entered the bathroom, peering into the mirror. Jeez I look horrible. My hair is sticking out freakishly and I have yesterday's mascara and eye liner going down my cheeks. I took a quick, vair hot shower, striping my bangs green, yellow, blue, and red, and by the time I came out, wrapped in a bunch of towels, Sera and Kimi had destroyed my room with clothes. But they got an outfit, thankfully. A pair of normal blue skinny jeans, a fitted short-sleeved shirt that actually said 'Google' on it (got it in a cheap tourist place in Manhatten), multi-colored fakefur boots, and a bunch of Google-colored bracelets, necklaces, and rings. I took forever putting on eyeshadow with four different colors. Then Sera had to get out of her army get up and into her funky colored clothes and jewelry. Eventually we made it downstairs, each of us in one, glamorous, self-confident, piece. And we shall not think of any bloke who was created to totally ruin our lives. If you haven't noticed it yet, I'm trying to only talk about myself. A'course, Kim and Sera are always vair self-confident and glamorous too.

* * *

We made our way down the street, high-kicking like can-can dancers, singing the tune to my favorite oldies TV show. It's my favorite because, one, its hilarious, and two...well, the title is very flattering:

"I love Lucy and she loves me! We're as happy as two can be! Sometimes we quarrel but then how we love making up again!"

_I Love Lucy_ is such a fab show. Kimi, Sera, and I continued to proudly make our way down the street. If you were to look out your window and see a bunch of eighteen year olds screaming/singing old TV show theme songs and can-can dancing, what would you do? Well, if it were me, I would join them. If it were Kenny or someone like that, he would attack them (not in a painful way, but in a sexual way, haha). If it were some old, grinch-like bloke whose as wrinkled as a prune, then he would probably be throwing his denture cream at us, or something of that sort.

We passed South Park's elementary school and spotted a group of kids chanting "FIGHTFIGHTFIGHT!" real loud. I sighed when I saw Bugs laugh evilly and she climbed a quarter-way up the flag pole (that girl can climb _anything_). She spotted me and winked cheerfully, announcing to the crowd of kids below,

"This ass whoopin' is dedicated to the douchebag that dumped my sister! FUCK YOU CRAIG!" She raised her middle finger and then pushed off the flag pole, landing somewhere, which was blocked by the chanting sea of kids. I feel abd for the guy she was fighting.

By the time we made it to school, we were out of breath and our hips were sore. We didn't care so much. I slowed down a lot of paces by the time we got to the front steps. The school looked like a prison with a lot of convicts ready to kill you inside. I was about to make a break for it, but apparently Ivy was somewhere behind me and Sera or Kimberly must've silently motioned her to football tackle me to the ground. And well, she football tackled me to the ground. Lovely girl. Somehow, Wendy, Kaysha, and Cassandra appeared from nowhere and each of them had their own little threat ready to scare me into going into the prison/battlefield/school. I think Wendy's worked the best with her whole 'Nobody fucks with Wendy Testaburger' expression.

So I walked into the school entrance, my friends trailing behind me, and I was tackled yet again, only this time by a hug. Aw. Good ol' Clyde. Even though, being Mr. Basketball, he looms over me frighteningly, he bent down a bit, sobbing into my shoulder, blubbering on and on about how he missed me so much. Token explained that they were trying to do something about Craig, who is apparently considering becoming a Goth kid. So they (they being Clyde, Token, and Tweek) couldn't see me much. So they therefore depended on Kenny and John, who, may I add, did a fab job of making me happy.

Every class I had someone with me. For World History, Ivy wouldn't leave my side, in P.E., Cassandra would shove me over so I wouldn't get hit by any dodgeballs (Godbless her, she got hit by seven that were aimed at me), and Token wouldn't go farther then 3 inches from me in Lab. By the time I got to lunch, I think I got claustrophobia. I carried my lunch tray carefully towards my new table with the girls instead of with the guys, when suddenly, my lunch got grabbed out of my hands and I was shoved underneath the girls' table. Ava told me to be quiet and quietly explained that the guys (Clyde, Craig, Token, and Tweek), who were a table down, were talking about moi. This would be flattering, usually, but I got a bad vibe from the tone Ava used. Our table got quiet as we listened. It was Token I heard first,

"Hey Craig...Luce is back in school, y'know."

I heard a distinct, vair annoyed grunt that was probably Craig, who then replied, "I know, douche, I have homeroom with her."

Clyde spoke next, "Hey! No need to be calling people names, dude." There was a pause, and an angry snort. Craig probably flipped Clyde off. And Clyde, who has, at this moment, somehow grown a backbone, "Shit, you're messed up man...what did Lucy see in you?!"

There was a loud thump of probably Craig's fist and I saw Craig's legs stretch out, standing up and he thundered, "SHUT THE FUCK UP, _CLYDE_!!" And I heard an angry "BAM!" and Clyde was suddenly on the floor, screaming, holding a bloody nose. Token and Tweek (actually, everyone in the cafeteria) jumped to their feet and Token reacted first,

"Dude! What the hell did you do that for!?!"

I crawled a bit towards the end of the table so I could see the scene play out. I gasped quietly. Craig had Token by the collar of his shirt, breathing heavily. Token struggled to keep his expression as calm as possible. He said slowly, and _very_ angrily,

"Dude, you lost a very special girl...and I bet you anything that you will never, _ever_ get her back." I clapped a hand over my mouth as Craig seriously threw Token over the table, making him slam to the floor. Tweek was left. And he looked angry to. Really angry, actually. Craig snapped his head to glare at the blonde when he spoke,

"You d-don't deserve her...she c-c-cared for you and you only brought her _problems_ and _sorrow_."

Craig Tucker took a slow step forward, tilting his head slightly, as he spoke quietly, but not softly at all, "And how the hell do you know that she ever cared for me, _Tweek_?"

Tweek snarled angrily (he didn't even stutter when he said this), "She was _ALWAYS_ talking about how she _loved _you when you weren't around. And look what you did to her!"

Craig gave an angry yell, shoving Tweek right to the ground. Suddenly, Craig stumbled back and I saw Kenny pulling his fist back again, "The Tweeker is right, asshole!" And then we had this big lunch room brawl. I didn't take part of it, of course. I actually ran out of the lunchroom, deciding to take the rest of the day off.

* * *

**WELL, that was exciting, wasn't it? Yes, yes it was. I think this chapter is good. **

**So here's the deal: I got this new, vair HILARIOUS book called 'Angus, Thongs, and Full Frontal Snogging (confessions of Georgia Nicolson)' by Louise Rennison (part of a whole series). Again, it's hilarious. It's set somewhere in England, so they have all this funky slang and its SO AWESOME. So I sound like a Brit now (not the accent, just the words). So I ask you to please excuse my English-ness in the next few chapters. I will be referring to hot guys as Sex Gods 8D**

**Thanks you guys for sending in your OC future info, your all lovely. If you didn't, please do so now.**

**Kaysha Black:** xMiss Universe

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Cassandra Nightwish:** dark child 1995

**Ivy Valmont:** Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera" Fabiano:** XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson:** JVM-sp150

**Yayyyy. Now everyone else go and update your own stories because I'm super duper bored and I just read all the books in my bookshelf DX**

**KB**


	27. Confrontation, Lucille

I scratched my cheek nervously, watching Principal Monica pace back and forth rapidly in front of us. You would think I would be used to this by now. But the principal's office is never a nice place to be. The guys usually get me in here every other day…but this time it's different. I wasn't the one fighting in the cafeteria. It wasn't me.

I raised a hand slowly, "Um…" I cleared my throat, trying to put on a nice smile, "Principal M, may I ask why _in hell_ am I here?"

Principal Monica and Principal Victoria are sisters or something. They looked identical, only Monica has brown hair. But that's about it. They even dress alike. It's really creepy, and your always calling them by the wrong names.

"Watch the language, Montgomery!" She jabbed a finger at me, shooting glares at Clyde, Tweek, Token, and Craig as well. Those four were beaten and battered, scowling at their feet.

Principal M began pacing again, "I know from my sources that it was indeed you four," She pointed at the boys, "Who started the fight in the cafeteria! Especially _you_, Tucker." She set her beady eyes on Craig before pacing again, "And I also know that it was _you_ they were fighting about, Montgomery. You've been absent for a few days. Is that what this is about?"

The five of us glanced at each other nervously, wondering who would talk first. Token cleared his throat, "Ma'am, it was just a stupid fight amongst a few friends, it really didn't-"

"You bet it was stupid, Williams! Why were you four fighting over her? I've seen you kids; you all stick together like super glue. What happened?"

Token frowned, pondering over words, before restarting, "It's really all of us to blame. Craig has his _temper tantrums-_" He shot him a glare, "And we," He gestured to Clyde, Tweek, and himself, "Seemed to provoke him, somehow. So don't just pin this down on one person, Principal Monica, we all really deserve to get in trouble. ."

"Where do you fit into all of this, Montgomery? And explain your absence while your at it." She nodded to me, frowning.

I coughed, "Um…"

Suddenly, the intercom in Principal Monica's room went off, "Principal Monica, Mackey will take them now."

Our principal nodded, ushering us towards the door, "Go, go towards Mr. Mackey's office. He'll take care of the rest of this."

Mr. Mackey…ai yai yai, he's stalking us or something into high school. Apparently, he's supposed to take care of our problems. Yeah right.

* * *

We took seats on the leather couch, Mr. Mackey's big head before us. He nodded to me, "Lucille, Principal Monica tells me that you've been absent for a few days. Care to tell me about that, hm?"

Well, at least this would be easier than Principal M. Guys are so fucked when it comes to the stuff I say to get out of trouble. I cleared my throat,

"Uhm, _feminine issues_, Mr. Mackey."

A lie, and not a lie. I think Mr. Mackey interpreted it wrong. But that was the point anyway. The guys bent their heads a bit, hiding their snickers. I smiled a bit as Mackey's face turned pale, then very red. He stuttered,

"A-a-alright, Lucille, your free to go, m'kay?"

I nodded, getting to my feet and heading towards the door. The boys looked at me, slightly surprised. By this time, I would've made some sort of witty comment that would let them get outta there to, no trouble whatsoever. That's what we do – if one of us gets let off easy, we get the others out as well. But these sorts of things change after certain events. Certain events ruin a lot of things, y'know.

* * *

"Them thats got shall get, Them thats not shall lose. So the Bible said and it still is neeews. Mama may haaave...papa may have...but God bless the child thats got his own. Thats...got his own."

I blew into my saxophone's mouthpiece, alone in the music room, sitting in my usual seat, propping my feet up on the French Horn's seat in front of me (Pip's seat), playing riffs of God Bless The Child by Billie Holiday (covered by Lisa Simpson). Its actually a very touching song...I sang along between riffs,

"Yes, the strong gets more, while the weak ones fade, empty pockets don't ever make the graaaade. Mama may haaave...papa may have...but God bless the child thats got his own...thats...got his own."

"Money, you've got lots of friends, crowding round the door...when youre gone, spending ends, they dont come no moooore. Rich relations give crust of bread and such...you can help yourself, but don't take too much. Mama may haaave...papa may have...but God bless the child thats got his own...thats...got his own."

I continued to play soulfully, finishing off with the last verse,

"Mama may haaave...papa may have...but God bless the child thats got his own...thats...got his own. He just worry 'bout nuthin...'cause he got his own."

Singin' the blues, when I'm actually sad. Is that what I've resorted to? After that one song, I sort of just sat there, drumming my fingers against the seat next to me, that was usually taken by Eric Cartman (he's baritone sax, I'm alto sax). And...well, speak of the devil and he shall appear.

"Hey, hippie. What's up your butt?" Cartman walked into the room, chowing down on a Subway foot-long. Yeah, I told you he was skinnier, but not _skinny_... a little chubby-ness is always nice, quote Kimi. I snatched away my hand before he sat on it and he snickered, "Obviously, it isn't Craig's dick anymore." Cartman has cut the teasing a bit on me ever since me and Ives found out about his and Kimi's relashionship (which they still haven't told anyone about), but...well, the guy likes to have some fun once in a while.

I socked his shoulder angrily, as hard as I could, causing him to shout in anger/pain, "What the hell, woman!? I thought you were over him or somethin'..." He took another bite of his sandwhich, rubbing his shoulder at the same time.

I sighed and Cartman frowned at me wearily, "I'm gunna go get Kim-"

"Were you at lunch?"

He grinned, "Yeah. Me and Kimi were totally pounding these freshman's face in. Well, me more than her. I didn't even know who the kid was, his face was so bruised!" He shook his head, laughing. He finished off the Subway, "I'm getting Kimberly. Talk to _her_."

Well, at least I know Cartman won't make _that_ much fun of me for all of this.

* * *

Goddamnit. How the hell am I back here? I was talking to Kimberly in the music room after Cartman got her out of her Biology class, and then one of the teachers come barging in, grabbed me by the hair, and shoved me into the principal's office. Again.

I slowly sat down in one of the chairs, peering at Principal Monica with a frown. She sat at her desk calmly, her hands folded over her calender layout. We sat there in silence for a few minutes (I passed the time by humming shitty Hannah Montanna songs), and then the door flew open again and Craig tumbled into the room as well. He flipped off the teacher who had pushed him into the room and the door slammed shut.

Craig looked up at me (I didn't make eye contact, though), then quickly away and sat in the other chair in front of the principal's desk. Her eyes flickered between us, frowning deeply.

"Tucker, Montgomery, I've noticed a drop in your school grade status over the past few weeks. Lucille, I know you haven't been in for a long while, which isn't like you at all, and you had a Maths test today, which you failed horribly. And Craig, your grades have dropped considerably, and you haven't handed in a single piece of homework. You two are friends, right? Actually, I understand you two have been dating for a few years. So I believe there's a connection. Are you two up to something? If you don't fess up now, there will be extreme consequences."

The two of us were quiet, challenging each other to speak. So I did, quite angrily, actually, "We're not actually that close anymore, _Monica_. We're not _together_ anymore, and thats why I'm doing so suckish in school. Probably the same for him!" I jerked a thumb at Craig, who was slouching in his chair, scowling at the floor, "So get off of our cases and stop nosing around in peoples buisness, goddamnit!" Yeah...right about then is when I stormed right on out of the school...not really a smart choice, but it had to be done. Actually, it didn't, but I wanted to.

* * *

"Walking helps you get rid of stress? Very cliche, little sister." I raised an eyebrow at Bugs, who nodded happily, quickly tying her hair into a ponytail,

"It's where we're walking _to_, big sister. Ike, Stell, get Luce here to a safe place."

The two thirteen-year-olds ushered me towards the fire escape in the damp, dark alleyway, forcing me up it before climbing up themselves. We sat on top of the low building, watching Bugs pull on a black leather jacket and black beanie. She stood there for a moment, as if she was waiting for something. I looked at Ike and Stella,

"Wait...why are _you_ guys out of school?"

"Oh, we never go to school." Stella said cheerfully. Ike explained that they do, sometimes, but just not a lot. Apparently, the three of them have explosive vomiting issues and have to stay home from school (as Bugs, who apparently can forge signitures of parents, writes in the absent notes). Then they shushed me up and told me to watch Bugs. My eyes widened as Bugs proceeded. I groaned into my hands as she raised a metal pipe threatingly at the little shrimp nerd. The kid dropped his bookbag and ran off, screaming. Ike and Stella applauded, climbing back down the fire escape to congrats my little sister. I followed them, still awed,

"Bugs, you MUG people?!"

"Just little science geeks. They have a lot of money in their wallets. Here," She handed me a twenty dollar bill from the kid's wallet, "Buy yourself something nice." She patted my shoulder sympathetically and the three freaks began to split the rest of the belongings of the backpack. I sighed, walking off.

* * *

"What do you think Heaven looks like, Lucy? Y'think it's just a bunch of clouds and golden gates?" Sera wondered as she swallowed a bite of pizza. I had found her wandering the streets of South Park. Apparently, she skipped the last few periods of school too. So we skipped on over to Shakey's and she brought up the lovely topic of Heaven. And in response, I shrugged,

"Dunno. Probably not. When Stan, Kyle, and Cartman built that gate to Heaven way-back-when, they didn't even reach Cloud City. And when Japan copied them, they went all the way into outer space and they couldn't find Heaven. So I don't even think there's clouds. But I think Heaven is a quaint little town (thats not full of rednecks, thank you very much), with short buildings, tiny, but fashionable, clothing boutiques, hair dye...and school. Only the classes don't have teachers and our textbooks are _Glamour_,_ Vogue_,_ and Seventeen_. The malls won't be crowded and more kids would be out in the streets, playing street hockey and dribbling basketballs in their driveways. Little old ladies will be pushing their shopping carts in the supermarket that sells food that we don't even have to eat, and people can grow wings."

"Whoa." Sera raised her eyebrows, sounding impressed, "That's deep."

"I've had a lot of time to think, Ser."

She smiled, patting my hand, "C'mon, let's buzz, school's probably out by now. We'll go meet the girls." I nodded and we paid for our pizza, silently walking towards South Park Highschool, daydreaming about our Heavens.

* * *

"So then he said "well I'm not going to date some smartass" and I was like "well then don't! this relashionship is over!" And I walked off! It was priceless!"

"Kaysha, it was hardly a relashionship. One, you met the guy at a bar and he was half-drunk, and two, it lasted for about a week." Ivy reasoned as we ambled down the streets of the mountain town, wondering what to do. But, quite frankly, I was fine with just walking. It gave us time to talk. And at the moment, the topic is one of Kaysha's many boyfriends.

"What was the guys name, even?" Cassandra asked. She added joke-like, "Or did he even tell you in your 7-day relashionship?"

"Shut up, Cassandra. His name was Don."

"You dated a guy named Don...?" Ava blinked, raising her eyebrows, as our friends giggled. Kaysha pouted,

"Oh, shaddup. He seemed like a fab guy (after he sobered up) at first, you couldn't blame me! Sera, you were the one who met him out of the rest of these doofuses, wasn't he cool? Remember, you ran into us at the Chinese place! The one on Maple."

"Actually, he seemed like an obnoxious asshole, honey."

Kimberly laughed, "He took you to a Chinese place? The cheap one near Kenny's? Hey, I'm all for Chinese food (I am Chinese, afterall), but that place is real crappy."

My friends continued to laugh and joke with each other as I walked along with them. Am I lucky or what? Great friends is what I've got. I checked my watch, "Hey, weirdos, I have an ice-cream date with Stan and Kyle. Stanny was whining about how he wanted five Rocky Road scoops all during Biology, so me and Kyle got fed up and decided to bring him to the ice cream place..."

Kaysha chuckled, "Alright, but be sure to sit next to Kyle. If Wendy catches you next to Stan, she'll got the wrong idea and whoop your ass."

I grinned, "I'd like to see her try. Shall I say hi to Kylie for you, Ivy?" The redhead grinned nodding,

"Yeah, and remind him about our movie date tonight at 7:00pm. See ya, Luce." I departed from my friends, heading towards the Ice Cream Palace, where I saw Stan and Kyle waiting outside. I smiled as I walked towards them. Those two have been best friends ever since...well, for as long as I can remember, and, sure they have their arguments, but they always turn out to be Super Best Friends again in the end. And Super Best Friends are best friends forever, and they can never be seperated. As John says, they probably share the same boxers.

I grinned at them, waving, "Hey you two! Whats up - AH!" Stan grabbed our hands, dragging us into the Ice Cream Palace,

"LuCYYY, you're late! I'm STAAARVED!" Stan acts like a little kid when it comes to food and hunger. But, oddly enough, he's probably the most mature out of Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman.

We took seats at the counter and a familiar brown-haired boy came over to take our orders.

"Hey Johnnycakes! Since when did you work here?" I wondered. John shrugged,

"Got the job a few days ago. But it's real weak, dude, they don't even let you eat the ice cream. But luckily, a lot of hot girls come in. The only downside of that is that the hot girls order very tiny scoops and that means they don't have to pay so much."

I grinned. Typical John. We ordered our ice cream (Stan got _six scoops _of Rocky Road ice cream) and John decided to take a break to sit with us. Kyle turned to me,

"So, Luce, how're you feeling? Kenny and John have been hogging you ever since you broke up with Craig." He shot a fake-glare at John, who patted my back cheerfully. I shrugged,

"I've felt better, y'know?"

Stan, who's mouth was totally covered with chocolate ice cream, peered at me, "Why'd you two break up anyway?"

I frowned at my two scoops of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, which was starting to melt so I began to eat it. I swallowed, "Promise you won't tell anyone?" The three boys nodded firmly.

"Craig's on drugs."

They were all silent for a moment. John didn't even have some witty comment. Instead he shook his head with a sigh, "I guess he never realized what he had," He looked at my sympathetically (which is what a lot of people have been doing to me lately), "Until he lost it tuh something so stupid."

The other two boys silently nodded in agreement. And all I wondered was why Craig did the drugs in the first place. And that's when I decided I would have to confront the boy and ask him.

* * *

"Fucker to Deepvag, target is in sight! I repeat, target is in sight!" I picked up my walkie talkie as I tip-toed down the hall,

"Kenny, I'm telling you, we don't need codenames." I whispered.

"Aw, but we match!" Kenny's voice whined over the walkie talkie, "Y'know, I'm 'Fucker' and your 'DeepVag', so if I'm a fucker and you have a deep vagina, we can totally have sex!"

"Shut it, Kenneth. I think I liked 'Fuck Buddy' better than 'DeepVag'."

"Same difference."

"Ugh. Where are you? I'm near the Chem Lab."

"Then I'm right below you. Get down here, Craig is by his locker."

I nodded and I ran as silently as I could down the halls. It was during lunch, and nobody is actually supposed to be in school hallways during lunch, besides the ones near the cafeteria. Unless your serving lunch detention, you should be in the cafeteria or at the picnic tables outside. So we had to be quiet.

I slid down the banister to prevent the thump of my combat boots against the stairs and I saw Kenny sitting by the doorway that led into the hallway. He smiled at me encouragingly and I nodded, smiling back. I firmly set off into the hallway and cornered Craig by our lockers.

"Craig!" He spun around, frightened for a moment. And he really didn't stop being scared when he realized he couldn't think of an excuse to get outta here.

"Uh, hey."

"Hey." I took a deep breath, "I'm not here to bitch about how I'm angry with you. Which I am. But I just want clarification over one thing...why..." I shook my head, "Why in hell did you take drugs? Seriously, it's just something I don't get...you seemed so...happy."

The violet-eyed boy took a deep breath, "It was Gary."

Gary...Gary...Gary...the name sounded familiar. Suddenly, it clicked,

"The _Mormon_!?"

"Yeah. How the hell do you think he stays so damn happy all the time!? He offered me some...drugs...and after a few tries, I got addicted. It wasn't supposed to be like this..."

"I'm gonna kill the fucker..." I mumbled, forgetting my pacifist ways. I remember Wendy once telling me we were like twins - we are very anti-war, but when someone just draws the last straw, we go balistic. It's like when somebody is crushing on Stan, she destroys them. And when somebody gives drugs to Craig, I destroy them.

We stood there silently for a bit. It wasn't even an awkward silence. Just...silence. Which Craig broke.

"I don't want you to be mad at me."

I sighed, dipping my head, "I was never _mad _at you, Craig, I just..." I closed my eyes, "I was just real sad. And I want to be friends with you again. Because you were such a good friend. And really do think we can hang out together again. Things won't be the same, though. They really won't ever be the same."

* * *

**This came quicker than expected. But that's a good thing, right? Hellz yes it is! And so I ask you people for advice on the next chapter:**

**1) A chapter where you see people's reactions to Lucy and Craig's sort-of-make-up**

**or**

**2) Another time skip to where everyone is 23-ish with jobs and everything. **

**Personally, I like the second choice, but I really want a reviewers input, so it'll be really nice if you guys helped me out. And just in case I do end up writing out another time skip, be sure to give me any other future-information for your OC you might've left out. Oh, and another thing...did your OC go to college? If so, was it a college in South Park, or somewhere else? Please give me the name of college and where it is (you can make it up, if you want).**

**Kaysha Black:** xMiss Universe

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Cassandra Nightwish:** dark child 1995

**Ivy Valmont:** Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera" Fabiano:** XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson:** JVM-sp150

**Toodaloo :)**

**KB**


	28. This Is A Filler, Don't Review, Lucille

I smiled deliriously as I heard the pilot's words:

"We will be landing in Denver, Colorado in half an hour. Please fasten your seat belts."

I haven't been in Colorado in at least…well; actually, I haven't been there since I graduated high school. I finished up college a year ago – I graduated when I was 22, and now I'm 23. And a half. And I got an email from Bebe Stevens a week ago about a highschool reunion, and it's in a few days. I figured I'd spend a few days with my parents (and not get them to convince me to move back to South Park) and Bugs, who is about to graduate highschool.

Well, I'm sure your wondering what I did when I moved away from South Park. And if your not wondering, I'll tell you anyway:

I went straight off to New York, as planned, and went to college there, all four years. You know who else came to New York? John Vanson! Only he went to a different college. We'd meet up for lunch sometimes, but we got wrapped up in our new lives. I haven't seen him in a few months, but I heard from him yesterday. He's coming to the reunion too.

I became a dancer. Yes, a dancer. Bugs's idea, actually. Or, at least, she inspired me. She said I was very graceful on my feet, so I got into the ballet business. It pays. But not enough to make a living, so I'm also a cartoonist. I draw little cartoons for all kinds of commercials on TV. I recently sold off another cartoon to Strident gum, so I got my studio redone and bought plane tickets to Colorado.

All right, I confess – I've missed the redneck mountain town. When I was a kid/tween, I was always talking about how I'll never leave South Park…then I got older, and I couldn't wait to get outta there. And, well, I did. I became cosmopolitan. I've missed all of my old friends. I keep in touch sometimes, via phone and emails, but I haven't seen any of them (besides John) in YEARS. If you were wondering, Craig, Clyde, Tweek, Token, and I became all good friends again. But Craig and I weren't so buddy-up anymore. I really don't know if I should put all of that behind me or not. Clyde told me that he isn't on drugs anymore – everyone helped him quit. Maybe, when I see Craig at this reunion, I'll just forget it a bit. Only a bit, though.

I put on my iTouch headphones, starting to snooze. I'll be in Colorado before I know it, and I'll be able to see all of my old friends again…


	29. You're Crazy For This Girl, Craig

**A majority of this will be in Craig's Point of View, so I titled the chapter with 'Craig' instead of 'Lucille'...but Lucy has a few Points of View too...just a heads up :)**

* * *

"Er, yeah…see you, Testaburger."

"See you, Tucker."

I walked out of the real-estate office, as Wendy got back to organizing her giant desk. I had stopped in to talk to Wendy Testaburger about the high school reunion Bebe Stevens was having in a few days. I had just got the email today and I had to print it out. Parties suck balls, usually, unless we all get drunk. This…this sounds fancy. Gives me the creeps being all formal and shit.

Stan and Wendy got married in stuff and started a real-estate business

Testaburger' for fucking weeks). Stan went to the community college and after Wendz finished college somewhere in England or something, she moved back and they got hitched. Insane freaks.

As for me? I'm skipping through jobs at the moment...it pays though. And Token gives me money. I actually finished college, with a few kinks and screws through the university's mainframe.

I headed down the street of South Park, shivering slightly. I pulled my coat tighter around me. I gave a small wave to Tweek through the window of his coffee house. He twitched back. Freaky spaz. But he's been my friend since we were eight or something, so I have to cut him some slack. Damnit, it's really cold...

"CRAIG!"

I turned at my name, my eyes narrowing at Wendy, as I flipped her off, "WHAT!?" She had stepped out of her office, which was down the block by now, and was waving at me wildly, a big smile on her face. Why the hell was she so happy?

"BEBE JUST CALLED ME! YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHO'S BACK IN TOWN!"

"WHO!?" I hollered back. Nah, it's not strange to see two freaky-lookin' (on her part, at least) people screaming at each other when they're a bunch of yards away from each other.

"IT'S - oh, wait, I need to take this...YOU'LL FIND OUT EVENTUALLY!" She flipped open her cell phone, hurrying back into her office. I frowned at the spot Testaburger once stood, wondering who the hell she was talking about. I shrugged and continued down the street. I have to much to think about anyway...but y'know what? My mind threw out all of those thoughts when I saw a lady. Yeah, just a lady. She wore a tight black leather trench coat and a jeans that supposedly look good when they have random rips in them. She had a happy little smile on her face as she hailed a taxi (yep, we have taxis in this town, since everyone is so damn lazy). Her hair is a black color, which made the snowflakes falling stand out even more.

Normally, I don't notice women in this place much, because basically everyone has a boyfriend, or husband. And since everyone is supposed to be 'friends' in this neighborhood, since everyone my age (23) has known each other since we were little, we're not allowed to look at each others mate. Not a lot of guys follow that rule, though. Sometimes I don't. And no, I'm not a fag.

The lady's smile broadened once a taxi finally stopped for her. She slid into it, and it was then when I realized who she was. My feet spazzed out and I bolted forward, dodging cars and jumping on this guy's car hood. I made it to the yellow vehicle, frantically knocking on the window. She rolled it down,

"Wha - Craig!?"

"Yeah! Yeah...this is..."

"Unbelievable." She finished.

She told the taxi driver to hold on for a second and she leaned out of the car window, beckoning me down. I bent down a bit and she pulled me into a tight hug. I stiffened a bit. I haven't been hugged by her in a long time. It felt nice. I briefly hugged her back. She was laughing, talking loudly over the rush of cars.

"Wow, I haven't talked to you in so long! Look, I can't talk now, I have to get to my parents' place..."

I nodded, still amazed that this was actually happening to me, "Um, alright, how about dinner, tonight?"

"Great! Here's my new cell number," She took my right hand and a pen from her pocketbook, jotting down a few digits on my palm, "Leave me a text to tell me where to go. I've missed you, Craig." She gave me on last hug, smiling. I watched the taxi guy start to drive. She turned around and waved at me through the back window, her big smile still on her face. And I can't ever really forget the face of Lucy Montgomery anyway, no matter how much I wanted to.

* * *

**(Lucy's POV)**

I paid the taxi driver and stepped out of the car, taking my luggage with me. I sighed a bit, smiling up at the house I was raised in from 3rd grade to college. It didn't look any different. Mom's been keeping it in good shape...

I hopped up the stairs happily, knocking on the door giddily. The door swung open after a minute or so of knocking and my mouth almost fell open at the woman who stood before me. Her hair was styled P!nk/Annie Lennox/Rihanna style, meaning her bangs falling down over one eye all the way to her mouth. The rest of her brown/blonde hair was spiked out like a star from the back. She wore simple clothes, not girly, though. Bermuda shorts and a tee shirt. She raised an eyebrow at me.

"Can I help you?"

"BUGS!?"

"LUCY!?"

She stumbled backwards into the house as I tackled her with a hug. She hugged back, laughing,

"DUDE! It's you! I can't believe it, Mom never mentioned - oh, so that was the surprise...Jesus, I can't believe you're here!! How was your flight?"

"Not bad, Bugs..." I pulled off my jacket, hanging it up on the stair rail, like I did when I lived here all those years ago...I followed Bugs' into the kitchen, where she started to brew coffee. She smirked at me,

"Nobody but my close friends have called me Bugs. It's Babs or even Barbara a lot of the times."

"Ew."

"I _know_..."

So we caught up on each other. Apparently, Bugs works at Tweek Tweak's coffee house and she says it pays well because Tweek is too scared to give his workers a lower pay.

"So, what about college?" I asked, taking a sip of coffee. I raised my eyebrows as her face fell a bit.

I frowned, "What's wrong, dude? Nervous about getting accepted or something?" Bugs crossed her arms over her chest, leaning back in her chair. She took a deep breath,

"Yes and no. Dad and I have been fighting a bit lately. I actually don't want to go to college."

"...what about Mom?"

"You know Mom. 'Follow your dreams' and everything. But Dad's been spazzing out. He's complaining that I should be more like you. You were excited about going to college." I expected a scowl from my little sister, but instead I got a smirk. I remembered how proud she's always been at how different we were (and still are, I guess) from each other (and society). I guess some things just never change.

"Where are the parental units, anyway?"

"Work. Dad's still a scary mechanic dude with Stuart McCormick and Mom's still running the Hookah. Look, we'll talk about my college issues later, I bet you have a lot of catching up to do...y'know, Ronaldo's still in the garage. Mom's been taking him out every few weeks so he wouldn't get rusted up. She remembers how much you loved that car...keys are on the key rack."

I grinned and hopped out of my seat.

* * *

I parked my car outside of the community center, where I figured I'd find most people. Wrooong. It was still rather early in the morning, so only a few people were wandering around the lobby. But someone...someone really caught my eye. She had a freakishly long, dark brown braided ponytail, and curly bangs framing her face. She had a kind expression and simple, but trendy clothes. She was examining a corkboard with a bunch of notices on it.

"KIMIIIIII!" I couldn't help but _shriek_ as I bolted towards my old friend, who turned sharply, her eyes widening in surprise. But before I could reach her, some lunatic tackled me from the side, slamming me to the ground. I'm gonna break a bone one day...I landed on my stomach and someone rolled over off me, and next to me.

"Eric! Why'd you do that!?" Kimberly Shao snapped as she glared at Eric Cartman. He was breathing heavily, scowling,

"She was going to hurt you..."

I groaned, getting to my feet as Kimi helped up Cartman, "Aw, c'mon, I always do that..." Cartman glared his brown, squinty eyes at me and pointed sharply at Kimi's tummy. It was bloated. As in...

"Your PREGNANT!!?!?"

Kimi laughed, "Yeah! Second time! Stan is watching Jenny at his house, we needed to take care of business at the community center this morning. I can't believe your here, oh my God!"

She hugged me tightly and I giggled, hugging back. I turned to Eric Cartman and couldn't help but hug him as well. He even hugged back this time. I giggled,

"So, how are you guys? I can't wait to meet this Jenny you speak of. How old is she?"

"She's a little toddler. Her name is Jennifer Han-Shin Cartman. She was born two years after we were married."

I came to their wedding. It was in Italy. Cartman's Mom paid for a lot of it. I wouldn't have missed it for the world. They got hitched when they were 20.

Kimberly launched into this big story where Cartman - I mean, _Eric_ (I'll have to get used to calling him that) - and her father got into this whole big fight because Cartman didn't want his daughter to have a Chinese middle name but Kimi's father argued that Kimberly is of Chinese descent and that should be included in his granddaughter's name.

I patted Cartman's pack, smirking, "For a racist, _Eric_, you sure know how to pick your woman."

He grumbled, shoving me lightly.

* * *

"My baby! My _babyyy_!!" My mother moaned in happiness as she hugged me in such a bone-breaking way. Peppermint Patty, my old, but still alive, golden retriever, hopped around us excitedly. Bugs watched from the staircase, blowing bubbles with her gum,

"I'd love to stay, but I'm gonna go see if The Ikester and Stel can catch a movie..." She quickly went out the door. She's avoiding something, I just know it. But Mom distracted me as she pinched my cheeks,

"Oh, honey, I can't believe your here! I'll have to make a big dinner tonight! We'll have turkey, chicken, mashed potatoes, string beans, ice cream-" Mom started to rant. I quickly stopped her, remembering the events earlier,

"Oh God, Mom, I can't...I just remembered, I already made plans with Craig Tucker for dinner tonight. But tomorrow morning you can make the biggest breakfast in the world, alright?"

Mom laughed exhaustedly, raking her frizzy hair back, which was still as red as ever, "Okay, sweetie, I actually have to get back to the Hookah. I left just because Bugs called me and told me you were home. You'll see your father tomorrow morning, alright? Go upstairs and get ready."

* * *

**(Craig's POV)**

I leaned against the Italian restaurant, my arms folded over my chest. It wasn't really a fancy place, but not a total shithouse. I looked at my watch: 8:20pm. She's late. I texted her to come at eight. When I was talking to her before, she seemed happy to see me, though, which is good, I think. Why would she be so happy? To see me, I mean. After we made up, things sort of reverted back to their old ways. Only Lucy wasn't so...around _me_, necessarily…she wouldn't sit next to me in school or the movies, she wouldn't sleep next to me when the five of us had sleepovers, she wouldn't even walk next to me. But I'm guessing I scared her with the drugs. Um...my bad.

"Craig!"

When I looked up, I couldn't help the nervous smile crack onto my face. Lucy Montgomery ran towards me, dressed in a simple strapless green dress, her black hair knotted up in a messy bun. Ah, strapless dresses, a torture device for us men. I'm serious, if you just give them one little tug, you see major cleavage. But no. I wouldn't do that (while I'm sober, at least). She had her black boots in her hand. From here, I could already tell they would be difficult to run in.

She pulled me into a hug again. I stiffened up. Again. But I came to my senses and hugged back. She looked beautiful in a dress. Great legs, like I remember. I also remember a lot of 'greats' about her physical form, but, for your sake, I won't make a list. She pulled back from the hug, giggling,

"I'm happy to see you, Craig, very happy." I nodded,

"I'm happy to see you too, Luce. C'mon, we'll miss our reservations. We're already late enough." She nodded, pulling on her boots, over her legs,

"Alright." She linked arms with me, "Is this place new? I don't remember it..."

"Yeah. It opened a few months ago. I've eating here a few times myself, it's pretty good." It felt weird explaining all of this. When it comes to Lucy, you don't really need to explain anything. She just freakishly knows it.

She wiggled her eyebrows at me, "You've eaten here a few times? With a _lady friend_, may I ask?" First I checked in our reservations and the waiter led us to our seats. I pulled out her seat for her as I answered,

"No, you may not ask."

Lucy plopped down in the seat as I took my own, "Naw, seriously, Craig! How've you been? Hitched?" She tugged at my hand, brushing her own fingers against my bare ring finger. She giggled at this. I inspected her own rings (there were about three on each finger). None of them were wedding-ring worthy.

"Okay, so you're not married. What about a girlfriend? You've got one of those?"

Still very talkative, I see. I shook my head, "No. Everyone in this damn town seems to be married or engaged, lately. Except me." SHe laughed, making an amused/sympathetic 'awww'ing sound. I cleared my throat,

"So, um, what about you? Anybody waiting for you back in New York?"

Her face flushed, shaking her head, "No. I just got out of a relashionship, actually." She chuckled nervously, "Ah, this guy broke up with me. No big deal."

I find that hard to believe. Who would break up with her? Lucy kicked awkwardness in the balls as she began talking cheerfully. We discussed our jobs (she has two, right now, a dancer and a cartoonist...which is very good compared to my job-less-ness), mostly, but we also got back to the topic of relashonships. I let her rant on how this guy who broke up with her, Drake, was a buttwipe, and she intently listened to me as I told her who was with who in South Park.

"Ha, Ivy and Kyle. Of course they're engaged! Why wouldn't they be, they've loved each other foreeeeever! You know how John Vanson came to New York, to?"

"Yeah." I nodded. John was a sort-of buddy of mine. Sort of.

"Well, he got hitched with Annie Polk. It was a small wedding in New York, and he got the _cutest _kids, Andrew - Andy, he prefers, - and Katherine. And what's weird is that I spent a lot of time with Annie, but I hardly ever saw John. I baby-sitted the kids a lot." She sighed happily as she repeated, "They're so cute! Hey, I hear Kimi and Cartman have a kid, and are expecting another?"

I nodded, frowning a bit. Kimberly, now a psychologist, and Cartman, a company CEO - it was kind of weird, but no that surprising, "Yeah. Jenny. And they have a boy coming next. Liane's stoked about having grandkids." We laughed at this as we proceeded the rest of the night, eating, continously ordering more wine, and joking around. We didn't get drunk, don't worry about that.

But we were happy. Yes, very happy to be together.

* * *

"And then I said, "Shut up, bitch!" And socked her right in the face! Brilliance! But then she grabbed my hair, pulling me down, and it was total cat-fight from there." Lucy giggled as she danced cheerfully down the street, holding my hand tightly. She spoke about her ex-boyfriend and how he cheated on her.

"I don't know why anybody would cheat on you, Luce." I blurted as we crossed the street to her parent's street. Maybe I'll drop in to visit my own parents...they live next door, anyway.

She smiled at me, "Awww, that's sweet, Craig." We laughed. It died down a bit, and we walked in a comfortable silence, Lucy swinging our hands back and forth. She hardly acted maturely, which is very comforting, because everyone in this fucking town is too grown-up anyway.

She twirled around once we reached her house, "Well, thanks for dinner, Craig." She hugged me tightly and I didn't hesitate to hug back this time, "I had a lot of fun. Why won't we all meet up again tomorrow afternoon, huh? Me, you, Token, Tweek, and Clyde. We'll have catch up on each other."

"Sounds good." I gave her a thumbs up as she headed up her stoop, unlocking her door. She waved good-bye and entered her house.

My smile vanished once the door shut. God fucking damnit. Why does she do it? Why the hell does she have to make me love her all over again? I slowly walked next door, to my old house, knocking quietly. My mother answered it, raising her eyebrows at me,

"Craig? Oh, honey, did you get evicted again?"

I shook my head as I walked in, "Ma, it's way worse." I'm falling in love.

* * *

**Wellll it's early in the morning...7:20am. *yawn* But it's a school day and I have to make this quick 'cause school starts at eight and the bus ride is vair long.**

**All-grown-up again, huh? Yeah, Kimberly made her appearence, and I've mentioned a few other OCs, but don't worry, you guys will come in the next chapter, which will be entirely in Lucy's POV again. And I hope you guys didn't get confused with the changes of Points of Views. The whole point of this story was to be in one point of view...but that changed. I couldn't resist :)**

**Lalalaaaa Craig is sooooo weird. I hoped I got his character good...(I basically just cursed a lot)**

**Lovely characters are property of loooovely people,**

**Kaysha Black:** xMiss Universe

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Cassandra Nightwish:** dark child 1995

**Ivy Valmont:** Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera" Fabiano:** XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson:** JVM-sp150

**Well, it's all I have to say. Bai Bai my luvvys I have school ;)**

**KB**


	30. Why Is Everyone So Weird, Lucille

"How'd you get this number anyway?"

"I guessed."

"You guessed randomly 8 digits?"

"Nah, Bugs gave it to me." I chuckled as Kaysha made baffled sounds over the phone.

"How did _Bugs_ get this number?"

"She has her ways. But I promise you, no stalking was involved."

I was curled up on my sofa - my parents sofa - in my white tanktop and plaid PJ bottoms, and bunny slippers, talking to Kaysha Black over the phone, watching old, black-and-white movies on the TV. It was about 10:00am and this house was just like I remembered – Dad would leave for work the same time Bugs left to meet up with Ike, and Mom would get ready for the day at the Hookah. Peppermint Patty would still be sleeping, and when she woke up, I would have to feed her.

Mom peered in to the living room as she tried to tame her frizzy hair with a brush, "Honey, don't you have to meet up with the boys in half an hour?"

Man, I feel like a teenager again, being in my PJs when it's close to noon, raising the phone bills, and having my mother remind me to get my ass out of the house. I should get a place to stay…and a job would help too. God knows how long my parents will convince me to stay in South Park.

I nodded at her and said good-bye to Kaysha,

"I gotta go, K, how about we meet up later? I'll call you."

We hung up and I went to go get ready. In just a few minutes I'll see how Token, Clyde, and Tweek turned out…when I was talking to Kaysha she described how her life was going. She's an actress (and sometimes a backing dancer) living in L.A, but she's not very successful yet as she's only 23, even though she's got potential, but even though she's has no clue what she's doing she doesn't care. She doesn't flirt as much any more now that she's come out of the closet, and she's still a single-pringle. She tells me she's struggling, but she's still happy and having fun. She was at the Marsh's when I called.

I smiled as I opened my old room's door. It looked very much the same - my parents had only cleaned it. They didn't want to make it look old, I suppose. I opened my closet, getting ready for the day.

* * *

I sat in the food court at the mall, tracing patterns in the table with my keys. I was dressed in yellow - a yellow dress and one of those giant yellow sunhats, with yellow flats. The boys, as usual, were late, and I, as usual, was early. But I wasn't bored, at least. Too excited.

"Lucy?! Is that you!?"

I looked up in amazement at the familiar redhead before me - Ivy Valmont (soon to be Ivy Broflovski). I grinned, jumping right out of my seat, "IVES! Yes, it's me! And you're you! AH!" Ivy quickly put down her groceries before I hug-tackled her. She laughed, hugging me back,

"Lucy! I've heard rumors you were back in town! This is just filled with awesomeness...hey, I gotta bring these groceries back home, and pick up Jodi from Stan's. Wendy's at work, which means Stan is at home, watching everyone's kids. But that's on Thursdays. On Tuesdays, Wendy watches the kids, on Mondays I watch the kids...and so on. I'll fill you in later. But I really have to go. Hey, the Marshs at 8:00pm, alright?"

I nodded, watching Ivy pick up her stuff and hurry out of the mall. But as soon as she left, I was attacked.

"Luccccyyyyyyyy!"

I laughed. I guess, like myself, not everyone grows up. I hugged Clyde back as he picked me up, spinning me around in circles. I spotted Tweek, Token, and Craig as I spun. Token called,

"Clyde! Quit hogging her!"

The brown-haired boy set me back onto the ground, but as he did, Token scooped me up into a bearhug as well. Then when he dropped me, the smell of coffee beans reached my nose as Tweek wrapped his arms around me, his hair as blonde and as messy as ever. Eventually we all just went into a big ol' (rather gay) group hug, laughing vair hard. Everyone looked so...grown up. But they sure didn't act it.

Clyde, he was...muscular. Not all gross-muscle-steroids-bullshit, but he had some pretty hot biceps that were pressed against the red tee-shirt. And he got taller. Actually, all of them towered over me. Clyde still had his usual, messy light-brown hair and yearbook-smile-straight teeth, and would be such a...Kenny, if he didn't have that shy, sort of sheepish quality in his eyes. But it's cute. He looked like a very happy puppy as he grinned at me giddily.

Token looked as kickass as ever. His dark brown dreadlocks were pulled back in a ponytail and he wore an expensive-looking turtleneck sweater and baggy shorts. He didn't have that rich-snobby-look, but instead a gleaming smile with genuine kindness gleaming through it. Man, I forgot how much I looked up to this guy when we were younger. I've seen him on a lot of magazine covers, because he's donated a bunch of money to charity, or something like that. I've kept in contact with him the most, probably, since I left South Park. He just seemed the most welcoming.

Tweek. Oh, Tweekie Tweek. As I said, his hair was blonde and messed up, sticking out in all ways possible. He twitched, yes, but only every few minutes or so, and he had this nervous smile on his face. He blinked rapidly as he twiddled his thumbs, looking at me with happiness. And it's always a pleasure to see Tweek Tweak as happy as can be. I looked at him carefully, though - he had bags under his eyes. And when I was talking to Kaysha before, she said that she's heard that he's been able to sleep. I guess something's wrong. I'll ask him about it later.

Craig flipped me off cheerfully, "Well, we're all here and I'm hungry. I'll get food." We all quickly told him what we wanted to eat, sitting down at the table. Clyde immediately filled me in on everything. And by everything, I mean everything important that has happened in this town since I've left. So Clyde runs his father's shoe store how (Harris Heels), which brings in a lot of cash. Tweek, of course, runs Tweak Bros. Coffee House, and Token runs the local Token's Jewelry store here in South Park (founded by Token Williams himself). Token's Jewelry is a chain of stores throughout the world.

"So, you guys," I announced as we started to eat, "I need a place to stay. Because eventually my parents are going to kick me out because I'm raising the bills." I wonder if that sounded more obnoxious or more desperate. Hm...

"You can stay at my place!" Clyde said quickly, swallowing a bite of pizza, "I got this apartment and it's real big, so I got an extra room. Or you can sleep in _my _bed with _me_..."

I smirked as my friends laughed, shooting perverted jokes at each other. Same old, same old. It's like we never grew up at all.

* * *

"How could this happen? It wasn't supposed to happen, y'know."

Kimberly mumbled. I gave her a small smile, brushing my bangs out of my eyes. For the occasion, I had them dyed pink. I don't dye them as much as I did - I go with one color for a few days before changing it again.

"Whaddya mean 'how could this happen'? You tell me." I paused before snickering, "Actually, please don't. I really don't want to know."

Kimi rolled her eyes at me. Ah, this is all just to ironic. I almost laughed. But for my friend's sake, I held it in. I sighed as Kimberly started to twiddle her thumbs, "Maybe...maybe I'm just a sick person."

We were sitting on a bench in the park, ignoring the random shouts and screaming of the South Park-ians because we had our legs sticking out in the middle of the paths. But it was fun to watch the kids walking their dogs. I'm surprised that our own canines lived this long in our lives. We decided to talk a walk before we got to Stan and Wendy's (apparently, a lot of our old friends would be coming). I shook my head,

"No, I wouldn't call you sick, Kim. Love just makes us do some crazy-ass things."

She giggled, "How true. After all, I did marry the guy."

"'Zactly. Love made you do the most crazy-ass thing of all. Marry Eric Cartman." I pointed out, grinning.

Kimberly nodded, "I know but for some reason even as teens I seemed drawn to him...sure the only communication I've ever had with him was always hostile and argumentative. No matter how much I tried to run from him, hide from him or try to drive him away…that asshole always knew where to find me and made sure I never leave his side."

I laughed, running my fingers through my hair, "He's obsessed with you but at least now that he has his little prize, he'll calm down."

Kimberly sighed, rubbing her bulging abdomen she slightly jumped a little. I noticed my friend's discomfort and gave Kimi a soft pat on the shoulders.

"How's Jenny?"

Kimberly rubbed her stomach lightly as if it was very fragile and delicate.

"I think he only wants one kid…"

"Bullshit, if I know him (and I do), he's gonna want more than one child…if I could guess a number it would be four."

"God no, Lucy! That's too many babies and just thinking about the child birth I'll have to endure in a few weeks makes me wanna think about getting my tubes tied after this one."

I shook my head.

"I wouldn't tell him that cause then he's just gonna keep impregnating you."

Kimberly sarcastically laughed, while I actually did laugh, imagining a bunch of little kids, screaming and tugging at Kimberly.

"That's not funny dude…"

"Yes it is."

After a good few minutes of enjoying the scenery Kimberly yawned.

"This baby is ready to come out , its been kicking me for a good portion of the pregnancy. I feel really bad for Eric, after all the mood swings I've been through…I'm impressed he lasted this long, Lucy, if he knew what the pregnancy would do to me. Why would you think he would want more?"

I grinned.

"Because that's just how the fatass is…he knows that you won't stay pregnant for long. So I'm guessing he sees more pros than cons in this equation. In a way, I'm also curious to see whose personality your kids take after."

Kimberly narrowed her brown eyes at the statement,

"Just think about it, is the world really ready for four Cartmans? I don't think God would allow that..."

I giggled,

"Look on the bright side , at least they won't act half as bad as their dear ol' daddy. One, Cartman is an expert so I doubt any of your kids will top his experience, and two unlike Cartman's mother…you're not a slut. The only person you've had sex with is Cartman which by the way is the nastiest thing ever and lastly, three...they'll respect you both, knowing Cartman is the top dog and one they will not cross and you...well, you hold more strings to Cartman than any man or beast on this earth…you have his loyalty and love."

Kimberly smiled.

I'm serious, though, she did hold more on Cartman than his own friends. He chased after her, she ran from him and he pursued. Even when their married, he still keeps an eye on her but I guess it's mostly because of her current predicament.

"Lucy…"

"Hm?" I looked up from my painted-pink fingernails.

"You're right and thanks…thanks for everything."

I grinned,

"You're welcome, dude. C'mon, let's get to Wendy's."

* * *

I put a hand to my mouth, "Holy-"

Wendy shot me a glare, "No rotten language in front of the kids, Lucy. Even if their only babies, they shouldn't hear that kind of stuff. It's up to their little friends to teach them that when the grow a little older."

"Aw, they're so adorable..." I bent down, smiling at the little baby girl twins. They were Stan and Wendy's kids. They both had black hair, and Wendy's brown eyes.

"The one with the purple pajamas is Jessica and the one in the pink is Sharon, named after Stan's mother."

After playing with the babies for a few minutes, Kimberly walked in, holding the hand of a little girl with curly brown hair, "Here's Jenny...Jen, this is your Aunt Lucy. She's not related to us either, but she is one of Mommy's closest friends. Go on and say hello..."

She slowly let go of her daughter's hand. Jenny walked/stumbled towards me, holding her hands out. She bit her bottom lip, smiling, as she fell forward into my arms. And that's basically when just knew I had to have a baby.

* * *

"Stan!"

"Lucy!"

We both hugged each other tightly, Stan throwing his briefcase on the couch before-hand. I grinned, remembering how much of a brother Stan had always been to me. He shook my shoulders gently,

"How've you been!? Wait, tell me in a second, I gotta get a drink of water." I followed him into the water as he explained, "I had to negotiate this contract with some loser. First-time buyer, y'know?"

"I really don't, but it sounds tiring."

Wendy chuckled, walking into the kitchen with and Sharon and Jess in her arms, Kimberly and Jenny following. Stan's whole face brightened as he walked forward, hugging his wife and kissing his two baby girls. I could only coo and go 'awww'. Kimberly glanced at her watch, "Eric should be coming soon. I called him and told him to meet me here and-"

"AYE? Who locked the door?!"

Thunderous knocks practically rocked the house. As Kimberly quickly went to go open it, Wendy explained to me with a grin, "Our house is sort of the headquarters. Everyone comes here, we hardly ever lock the door, unless we're all out of the house. But a lot of people have a spare key. Hey, Stan!" She called to her husband, who was going up the stairs to change or whatever, "We got to get a key for Lucy!"

"No, no, I won't be staying for long-"

"Alright, Wendz! I'll go to the key guy tomorrow..." Stan called back. I sighed, rubbing my forehead and Wendy brought the kids into the living room, where Kimi, Jenny, and Cartman were hugging. I smiled a bit. So cute.

"HEY! WE'RE BAAAACK!" Ivy Valmont's happy voice rang out as the door busted open again. She grinned at Kimberly as she bustled into the house, carrying groceries, "Hullo, cousin-in-law." She glanced over her shoulder, "Kyle?"

"Coming!"

Kyle Broflovski hurried after her, holding the hand of an adorable toddler. She had wavy red hair and blue/green eyes. I guess the hair genes were caught between Kyle's massive curls and Ivy's straight hair. Wendy took the groceries from Ivy and the redhead hugged me again,

"Luce! So glad you could come! C'mere, I want you to meet Jodi, my three-year-old." She took my hand, dragging me over to the couch, where Jodi sat on Kyle's lap. The little girl grinned up at her mother,

"Hey, Mommy, who's the lady with the pinky hair?"

"Jodes, this is your Aunt Lucy. She's been a friend of Mommy's for_evvvver_." Ivy cooed at her daughter as she introduced me. I smiled. Now there's _two_ things in the world that make Ivy all lovey dovey: Her fiancé Kyle and her daughter Jodi. Kyle suddenly looked up, "Hey, where's Kaysha? Did she ever get out of the car?"

Ivy nodded, "Yeah, but she was looking at the flowers outside."

Stan knuckle-punched Kyle, "Hey, dude." I grinned. Still Super Best Friends. Stan turned to me, "Luce, could you get Kaysha in here?" I nodded, bouncing out of the house. I grinned, spotting the brunette woman kneeling by the tulips in front of the Marshs.

"KAYSHA, BABY!" I cheered, hugging my long-time friend. How I've missed her. A lot has happened to Kay-Kay over the years I've been gone. She's become an actress/dancer, she's been through a bunch of relationships, and, the biggest thing being her coming out of the closet. But nobody has really cared all that much. Kaysha has always gone with her own flow and we've respected that.

Kaysha Black laughed, getting up as I hugged. She still had her pale complexion and long brown hair and her fringe. I patted her head, "C'mon, Kay, we gotta get in the house, everyone's here. She nodded, following me into the house as we chatted happily. I smiled at Ivy and Kyle, ho were taking lovey dovey on the couch while Jodi sat beside Ivy. Stan and Wendy were in the kitchen, beginning to make dinner together. Kimberly and Cartman were busying themselves with their daughter, cooing and playing.

"Hello, everybody." Kaysha and I looked to the door (everyone else was basically busy with their looovers) to see Ava Cullen drift through the doorway, head held high as usual. She always has that self-confidence aura around her, which is so very awesome. I grinned, spotting a glittering diamond ring on her hand. I immediately lifted it to my eyes,

"Ah, has Mr. Thorn proposed?"

"Yes, Lucille, I have."

I looked up to see Damien Thorn, the Son of Satan himself, walk through the door, his blood red eyes glinting with pleasure, his lips pulling pack into a smile to reveal his rather fang-like teeth. As usual, the first look at him, it gives you a chill, but since I've known Damien for a while, I know he won't burn me to crisp if I carefully watch my words. He almost made John implode when he made fun of Damien's late puberty (his squeaky voice was soooo funny).

Ava and I got talking as Kaysha went to go help Wendy put Jessica and Sharon (Sherri, as a nickname) to bed. So Ava works at a second hand bookstore. I can see that, it's a very Ava-ish job. And Damien...well, he doesn't really need a job. And if they're behind on rent, then Damien just has to, y'know...threaten people. I grinned. The two were engaged and will be having their wedding very soon. They seemed to be leading a happy life. I felt so...happy for them.

"Hey, everyone."

Again, we looked to the door to see...John. John Vanson. John VANSON. Oh, how I've missed him. He still had his long-ish hair (its shorter, though), but a hat covered a lot of it. He didn't have his glasses on either (contacts, I'm guessing). He had this...serious expression on his face. I excused myself from Ava and started talking to him as Annie brought in Katherine and Andy, their kids. John is very different. He doesn't talk as much, so I had to really keep the conversation going. He's more cynical, actually. And the way he talked about our childhood...he seemed almost _ashamed_ of how he acted as a kid. But...nonetheless, he still had a John-vibe, and if he didn't I would just about die. When I brought this up, these were his words:

"To put it simple, college screwed me up."

Oh...stupid college.

* * *

**Ta-da! These chapters are coming real fast, don't you think? I think so. I thought the beginning was a little weak, though.**

**Anyway, I'm asking for your help, again. But only a select few. To those who have their OCs ENGAGED...do you want me to include your wedding in this story? Because, if you do, I shall have a whole chapter for ya. Or do you just want a mention of the wedding? But if you do want a whole winded chapter of the wedding, give me a lot of details, because I need them to please you and my other readers. Thanks, it would help.**

**So, next chapter...a bit more OC-ness, and then more Craig and Tweek and Token and Clyde. Okay? Anything you want your OC to do, just leave it in your review.**

**Lalalaaa:**

**Kaysha Black:** xMiss Universe

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Cassandra Nightwish:** dark child 1995

**Ivy Valmont:** Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera" Fabiano:** XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson:** JVM-sp150

**Serabean! You wuz not in this chapter because I have no future info from you! Aw, I loooove your OC!! C'mon, you shall have a whole scene with Sera in it if you review with your future information! 33**

**Baibai,**

**KB**


	31. Clyde Is A Cool Roommate, Lucille

"_Why_ in hell is it called _rush hour_ when nothing _moves_!?"

I snarled angrily, tapping my fingers against the driver's wheel of my car impatiently, my angry eyes hidden behind my sunglasses. Kenny and I decided to meet up and take a ride to Denver Mall, for old time's sake. 'Course, I was never one for traffic. I like it when things _mooove_.

I had run into Ken on the street - literally. He was carrying a bunch of books and I was carrying a bunch of papers and we just collided. Very funny, but very painful. So we decided to throw the books and papers into my car and go off to Denver Mall.

Kenny McCormick patted my back happily, "Calm the fuck down, Luce! It'll move along soon. We shall talk in the meanwhile."

I smiled at the handsome man. Ah, Kenny…always an optimist. I guess I am, sometimes, but never in traffic. I took a deep breath, "You're right. So." My smile widened, "How've you been, Ken? Girlfriend? Marriage? Divorce?"

He chuckled, "Ah, divorce…the act of women ripping out man's genitals through his wallet. But, alas, no. I have not experienced marriage or divorce. Haven't had steady girlfriends in a few months either. But, you know me, still a pervert in here." He thumped his fist against his chest happily. I secretly envied Kenny – he never seemed to have any worries, ever. And he seemed pretty content with his life right now.

I giggled as he asked me how I was. I shrugged, "Hanging in there. I just know Mom and Dad are formulating some plan to make me stay in South Park." Kenny pouted at this,

"Why wouldn't you?"

I sighed, "I just don't know if South Park is my place anymore."

We were silent for a while before Kenny got a bit restless. He started making faces at some kid in a car next to us. Ah, Kenny…some things just never change.

* * *

"Hey Luce," I looked up and smiled, watching Craig Tucker amble over to my table in the mall's food court. He plopped down in Kenny's seat, flipping me off (old habits just never die), "What're you doing?"

I looked down at the billions of papers pooled out on the table, shifting the Tootsie Pop in my mouth so I could talk, "Ah, I promised Wendy I would help her sort out papers and bullshit for her real estate thingie. Kenny's over there buying food." I nodded to the blonde, who was haggling with the pimply teenager behind the cash register, "What're you doing here?"

"Bored."

"Oh."

I gnawed on the Tootsie Pop, looking back down at the papers and jotting a few things down for Wendy. Craig watched me do this curiously and it went on like that for a few minutes. Kenny was screeching at the cashier by now, but we wouldn't dare look up - it would look like we knew Ken. This was all interrupted by a freakishly cheerful, and sort of high-pitched, sing-song voice,

"Hi Craaaaig!"

I looked up to see a lady with black hair in a bob cut, and tons of make-up walking quickly towards us, smiling wide. She swooped down, giving Craig a biiiiig hug. Craig glanced at her, smiling a tiny itsy-bitsy smile, hardly meaningful at all, "Hey, Essie."

I raised my eyebrows. Essie? The lady looked familiar...could it be Esther Stoley? Seriously? Jeez, what a slut she turned out to be. Or maybe it's just her clothes. Tanktop (with no bra straps visible, so either a strapless bra or no bra at all), and short-shorts, and, as I previously mentioned, a lot of make-up. I truly never really liked Esther. Actually, I kind of hated her. She was so...mean. Her brother - twin - Kevin, he was cool, though, he hung out with John a lot of the times, so I saw a lot of him. But I avoided Esther.

Esther sat down, "So, I'm available Friday night," She smiled, "And so I was wondering if we could go out!" She giggled in what she must have thought a cute way. It disgusted me, actually. The little bitch.

Craig scratched the back of his neck, "Actually, Es, I was just about to ask Lucy-"

"Oh, no, you guys go! I...I actually have plans on Friday!" Argh. FUCK nice-ness. I'm too nice. Excuse me while I go mentally beat myself up. Esther smirked at me before giving Craig a sloppy smooch on the cheek and she strutted off. Craig cleared his throat, wiping off the kiss,

"Okay then...what're _you _doing Friday?"

I paused thinking this over, before saying, "That's the night I'm moving into Clyde's place." I know it was just an offer, but I seriously needed an excuse, "Kenny came with me so he could actually help me pick out furniture. Yeah." I glanced up at Kenny. He was now being dragged away from the cops. Oh dear. I'll bail him out later. I cleared my throat, "But don't go changing the subject on me, Tucker. You and Esther an item? You told me you were single."

"We're not dating." He said rather bluntly. He doesn't enjoy full sentences. Never has, and probably never will.

I sighed and went back to the paper work.

* * *

"He shoots...!"

"And he misses! Another beautiful save by the divine Miss Luccccy!"

I roared, twirling around, waving the hockey stick in the air. Clyde pouted for a few seconds before joining in with the laughter. We were in my new room in his studio, and hell, it is BIG. And it has the shiniest floors in the world. So Clyde and I decided to play a bit of sock hockey. Sock hockey has always been fun. Clyde dropped his hockey stick, rubbing his hands together, "So, roommate, lets get all of that stuff in here, shall we?"

I nodded and we began getting the bed and beanbags and dressers in here first, and then the many boxes and boxes and boxes of clothes. And then we made a fort out of the boxes. Hahaaaa. When we finished my moving in (and playing Indians and Soldiers), we plopped down in beanbags with martinis. I grinned at my carefree friend, "Thanks for letting me move in, Clyde."

He shrugged, "No problem. Now I can finally boast that a girl lives in my place. Tweek moved out anyway, he got the flat above his shop."

"Cool."

"Hey, wanna go to see Mr. Garrison at his place? He's like, 80, and I heard this rumor that whenever he sees one of his old students, he has a heart attack!"

"Dude! Awesome! Let's go!"

* * *

"Hey, whatcha doin'?"

I glanced up at Clyde, who had entered our apartment. I huffed, "Well, I was just moving your barcalounger over there and the couch over here."

He raised an eyebrow, getting a bag of chips from the cabinet, "Why?" I've been living in Clyde's apartment for two days now, and I'm still making it as comfy as possible without getting him mad.

"So there's a decent place for _me_ to sit."

"Luce, there is a decent place for you to-"

"And your lap does not count." I sneered. He rolled his eyes. I sighed, continuing, "But, c'mon, Clyde, help me move this thing."

"Nah." He cracked open the bag of chips, "Rosita does not move."

"...excuse me?" I raised an eyebrow, "Your chair...is named Rosita? Rosita, as in-"

Clyde picked up the remote, smirking at me, "As in Rosita _does not move_." I gave him a confused/angry/exhausted look so he explained, "Y'see, Rosita is the same distance from the bathroom, kitchen," He pointed to both rooms, "_and_ she's set at the right angle so I don't get a glare off of Stevie."

...

"Stevie the TV?"

...

"Is there a problem?"

...

"Nah."

Oooooh I still gotta get used to South Park and it's weird inhabitants. Again.

* * *

_sluuurp_

Third martini of the day. Very nice. I sat in a one of those float-y pool chair thingies in my bathing suit, with a little martini glass with the umbrella in my hand, in Token's pool. It was about midnight, I'd say, and Token was in his bathing suit, holding a martini as he floated next to me. We even had them funky floating candles. This peace was interrupted by a very, very loud Ivy Valmont.

"LUCY! LUUUCCCYYYYYYY!"

She climbed right over the gate, dove right into the pool, swimming over to me. She grinned wildly, "Want to be my bridesmaid?!"

"Do I have to wear a really ugly dress?"

"It'll be pretty."

"Then yeah, sure. Why at midnight, praytell, Ms. Valmont?"

"I just looked at a calendar! I'm getting married! IN THREE WEEKS! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!?"

Token and I glanced at each other with freaked out looks and we paddled ourselves to the pool shore. Ivy swam over, pulling herself out of the pool, hugging me violently, almost sobbing with happiness. Token threw us both towels, sitting down next to us, "So, Ives, you sent out invitations yet?" She nodded proudly,

"Yep, you bet. Jodi helped me, of course, they're so beautiful. Everyone should get the invites tomorrow morning! Lucy, will you help pick up my wedding dress tomorrow? Sera is coming to! Kyle will be at work, he, of course, doesn't know what the dress looks like. And you have to help me pick out jewelry, hair products, and everything important! After shopping we'll pick up Jodi from the Marshs and we're meeting up with Ava, Kaysha, Kimberly, and Jenny at Kimberly's place. Sound good to you?"

The girl was talking fast. I patted her shoulder, "Calm down, calm down, Ivy. Man, if it's only three weeks from your wedding day and your already this excited..."

Token finished for me with a grin, "Imagine what you'll be like on your actual wedding day."

Ivy smirked as she wrung out her hair with the towel Token gave her, "It's called being in love, Luce. You know what it feels like. I'll see you guys later!" She got up and actually used the gate this time, rather than climbing over it.

* * *

"And I really need to get a tux for this?" Clyde watched me run around the apartment, grabbing items and stuffing them in my pocketbook. I glanced up at him and nodded,

"Haven't you ever been to a wedding, Clyde? Of course you need to get a tuxedo. I heard Stan, Craig, Kenny, Tweek, Token, and Kyle are renting out some tuxs this afternoon, Token said he'd give you a call. I'll be back!" I pulled on my trench, hurrying out of our apartment.

I rolled my eyes as I heard Clyde mutter as I closed the door, "'I'll be back'? Who are ya, the Terminator?"

I opened the door again, "That reminds me, after the mall the girls and I are meeting up at Kimi's, which is near the DVD store, you need anything?"

"Terminator sounds about right. Second one, if you will, that was the best."

I nodded, closing the door again and grinned. Having a roommate is fun. Better than college roommates too.

* * *

"SERA! SeraSeraSeraSeraSeraaaa!" I ran like an idiot at my old friend, hugging her in a suffocating-face-turn-blue style. She looked brilliant - her hair was still styled short and pretty, with the bows replaced by a ladies' fedora. She still wore funkadelic, washed clothes with brand names on them (Coca-Cola, Pepsi, ect.) and a lot of mascara.

"Luce! Hey, loosen the arms a bit, you're killin' me."

I obliged quickly. Ivy rubbed her hands together, "We'll catch up later, guys, we have shopping to get to!" I smirked at her. Never thought Ivy would be _this_ excited about shopping. I reached into my bag for my present for the girls, but I frowned when I couldn't find it. But in the stroke of luck, a car rolled up and Kimberly got out of it (Kaysha had to help, because Kimberly's stomach was simply bulging with babyness). And, through the window, the driver was Eric Cartman. I quickly explained my predicament that I left the present at my apartment and he (grudgingly) told me he could drive me back (Kimberly helped by glaring). I smirked and got into the front seat.

"Hey! It's Jenny!" I smiled, twisting around in the back seat at the little girl in a car seat as Cartman began to drive. I tickled her tummy, "Hey Jenny, you saw me a few days ago, do you remember me?"\

"Looooceeee." Jen pronounced with a tad bit of a lisp.

I grinned, poking Cartman, "She knows my name." I turned back to Jenny, "I used to live in South Park a few years ago. I always hung out with Mommy and Daddy, they were two of my beeesssst friends. Your dad was such a Grinch."

Jenny produced one of those cute, gurgly toddler laughs. I guess she saw the Grinch already. I decided to amuse Jenny (and annoy Cartman) further by singing 'You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch' as we drove back to the apartment.

"You're a monster, Mr. Grinch! Your heart's an empty hoooole! Your brain is full of spiders, you've got garlic in your soul, Mr. Griiiiin-_ch_! I wouldn't touch you, with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot poooole! You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch! You have termites in your smiiiile! You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr. Griiiiin_-ch_! Given the choice between the two of you...I'd take the seasick crocodiiiile!"

"Luceh! Shaddup, you're making mah kid hate me!"

* * *

"Ladies and...ladies, I present to you...the Wedding Book." I presented the ginormously fat white binder, the cover decorated with the names of the girls in our 6th-7th grade class, and pictures of giant wedding cakes and dress, and 'The Wedding Book' in big, fancy letters. Gasps went around our little posse as they stared in amazement.

"You still have that thing?"

"Yep." I grinned.

Y'see, the Wedding Book is this giant binder our 6th-7th grade girls worked on. Each of us has a nice big section on what our weddings would have. What dresses, flowers, cakes, settings, and, of course, grooms we'd always dream of having. Pictures of the heads of our favorite celebrities and even crushes over the perfectly tailored tuxes we would want them to wear. I flipped through the book, searching for Ivy's name (it was somewhere in the front, since this was set in alphabetical order). I smiled, finding the page that had Ivy's name written in pretty calligraphy. We crowded around it, laughing at our childhood stupidity. There were pictures of the most expensive wedding dresses cut out of magazines, giant, red flowers in big glass vases, and even an ice sculpture of a swan. Ivy wrote a little note next to it _'instead of swan, it will be me'_. For about half an hour we sorted through the dresses and jewelry and hairstyles.

"What in God's name is that?" John peered over our shoulders curiously. We quickly slammed closed the Wedding Book, glaring at him. He raised an eyebrow at the title,

"The Wedding Book? Man, I haven't seen you guys carry that around since the 7th grade..." Kenny muttered, chuckling.

Ava grinned proudly, "This baby has got everything. After we finish Ivy's wedding up, we'll start with mine. But for now, we have everything Ivy needs. Y'know, like locations." She took the book from me and showed Kenny and John her section (the most organized, of course),

"First ordered alphabetically," She flipped a page, "Then geographically," She flipped another page, "Aaaand multiple box squared."

Kenny snickered, shaking his head, "Poor Kyle. Poor Damien. If only they knew what they're getting themselves in to..."

I punched him lightly, "Shut up, Ken. Let's go get this dress," I held up the picture of it, "I think I saw something juuust like it in that new dress boutique. Ives, I'll come over later and we can pick out the music."

* * *

"Alright, so I haven't cleared the budget with the family yet, but tell me how this is for music..."

We were at the Broflovski's place (Kyle dutifully shipped his parents off to some retirement home, and Ike lives here until he goes to college), Kyle, Ivy and I at the kitchen table and Clyde taking a nap on their sofa.

"String quartet for the processional," She handed me a list of string quartets, "A jazz trio for cocktails - I was hoping you could play sax, Luce," She handed me a list of jazz musicians, "My Chemical Romance for dancing - oh, wait, that was for my 6th grade wedding..."

"Hey Ives, Kyle, do you guys have a comfier pillow? Y'know, more snuggly?" Clyde looked up from his nap.

Kyle raised an eyebrow, "Clyde, why don't you just sleep at your own place?"

"The duck..." Clyde grumbled, trying to get comfortable on the couch again. By duck, he means Kenny's duck. Yes, Kenny has a duck, and Clyde happens to duck-sit when Kenny is at work.

I slammed a fist on the table, "The duck!? What the hell did the damn duck do now!?" Clyde looked up at me, eyebrows raised in surprise, stuttering before he got out a complete sentance,

"Well...he did _not_ get sick in there, and it _was_ immediatly found and cleaned up in a proper...fashion." I rolled my eyes. Kyle changed the subject before an argument arose,

"So, do I get to actually look at this book?" He paused before adding sarcastically, "Or is it for people actually involved in the wedding?" Ivy and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes. I took out two pictures of flowers, handing them to Ivy, who nodded,

She grinned, "Okay, Kyle, I want your opinion too. Now, white roses?" She held up a picture of white roses, "Or white lilies?" SHe held up the pictures of white lilies.

"Definatly roses!" Kyle grinned.

Ivy and I looked at each other with frowns. Kyle pulled back a tad bit, "W-well...I just though roses would be a little more...wedding-y." Ivy slowly moved the picture of white lilies forward. Kyle rolled his eyes, "Buuut...lilies are the clear choice."

Ivy threw her hands up happily, "Oh, it's like we're one mind!"

"Uh-huh."

"Guys, GUYS!" Clyde looked back up again angrily, "You gotta let me nap!" He fummed, "I...I'm gonna get cranky!"

I sighed, "_Clyde_, there's a perfectly good couch right down the block in our apartment!"

...

"Yes, Lucy, it _is _a perfectly good couch, and it is _not _one of the places the duck got sick!"

"WHAT!?"

...

"AlrightI'mgonnago." Clyde muttered quickly, getting up and quickly heading towards the door. I grabbed his sleeve,

"Clyde, what did the duck do!?"

He quickly pulled free, but as he closed the door, he called back, "I dunno but he sure ain't eatin' your face cream!"

I groaned.

* * *

"And this is New Flavor number...20?" I questioned Tweek, raising my eyebrows. He nodded, twiddling his thumbs hopefully. I shrugged and tried it out - tasted like cinnimon. I smiled at him with a thumbs up as I continued to drink the coffee. He grinned.

We sat in Tweek Bros. Coffee Shop at about 5 in the morning, trying out new flavors of coffee. Tweek couldn't sleep last night so he was here since three in the morning, making up new flavors for the shop. It's Tuesday. The reunion would be Friday.

I hopped over the counter, getting on a stool to get down the chalkboard that had all of the flavors, prices, ect. on it. I got out the pretty colored chalk to write down the new coffee and how much it costs, "Hey, Tweek, have you seen Craig lately? I didn't see him over the weekend, or on Monday..." He shrugged (or maybe he twitched),

"I - AUGH - I think he c-came home - SWEET JESUS - S-Saturday night, r-real l-late or somethin," He was interrupted by a few twitches, "A-and I h-haven't seen him - GAH - since...OH SWEET JESUS!"

"He was on a date with Esther Stoley on Friday..."

"Uhm...I - I think - GAH - Es-Esther l-l-likes tuh be called - AUGH - Essie..."

"Oh. Well, we'll see him at the reunion if not earlier. Hey, you got any breakfast around here, Tweekie? I'm starvin'." He nodded, quickly serving up some Original Tweak coffee and numero dos slices of apple pie. I tried a bit,

"That's the stuff. Oh, Tweek, I got somethin' for you...Bebe asked me to give you yours-" I got two clipboards out of my bag, one for me, one for Tweek. We had to fill these out for the reunion. We perched on the counter, getting pens.

"Name, year of birth...this looks simple enough."

The fill-out thing basically looked like this (with my answers):

_Name_: Lucy Montgomery

_Age_: 23

_Birthday_: December

_Status_: Single

_Kids_: None

_Occupation_: Cartoonist/Dancer

_Religion_: Catholic Christian

_Education_: Finished with school

_Current Residence_: New York City

"Hey, Tweek, Clyde and I are going to the reunion together, car pool with us."

"Alright. ACK!"

At about six in the morning, Tweek's first customer of the day came in, meaning I had to get off of the counter. And Bugs also came in, since she also works here. She waved at Tweek and put on the green apron the workers wore and nodded to me, "Hey, Lucille, what're you doing here?"

I shrugged, "Couldn't sleep, Barbara. Been here since five, and Clyde is probably thinking I got kidnapped. Actually, he probably hasn't even woken up yet. Have you and Dad been fighting again?"

My little sister snorted, "Oh boy. I don't get why he's so intense on me about this."

"He never went to college, Bugs."

...

"Oh."

"He would be much more than a mechanic if he did." I explained. She sighed, adjusting her cap that pushed down her star-shaped hair. I added, "And, you should go to college too if you want to be successful."

"A bunch of people have got successful without a college education, big sister."

"Why don't you want to go to college, little sister? Isn't Ike going?"

She scowled, "Yeah, sure, me and Ike are going to the same college. That boy is fifty times smarter than me, we won't be together even if I did go to college."

I stared at my sister, "You really just want to stay in South Park for the rest of your life? I bet I could get you into whatever college you want."

"What? Have sex with some hot teacher?" She smirked.

"Shut up, Bugs."

My little sister punched my shoulder and strolled off, behind the counter to take some bloke's order. I sighed, leaning back in my chair, wondering what to do today. Hm, maybe I can get Kimi to ditch one of her clients and spend the day with me...

"Hey Luce."

I looked up and grinned, "Craig! Dude I haven't seen you in days...where've you been?" He was dressed in his work suit and blue tie. He waved at Tweek, before sitting down across from me,

"Well, you know how I was on a date with Essie - Esther - Friday?"

"Yeah. How was it?"

"Bad, dude, I'm tellin' you now. Y'see, this chick is in to me - a lot. Stalker, I'm telling you. So I told her I wasn't...well, I didn't like her as much as she liked me...and she kind of got angry." He pointed to a small bruise on his jaw bone, where I'm guessing Esther punched him or something. Wow, Craig is sure one with the ladies. But it didn't stop there because he added, "But this morning I got the mail and this was in it," He handed me a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket.

I read it over quickly. A lot of 'sorrys' and 'I love yous' and more of the gushy mushy lovey dovey stuff. I gagged from it all (and the fact the paper was practically dripping of cheap perfume). Craig nodded, "Yeah."

"Want me to talk with her? Y'know, girl-to-girl."

"You hate Esther."

"I'll talk to her."

* * *

**Yeah, Esther is a bitch in this...but I needed Lucy to hate someone. **

**Y'know, when I get an apartment, I want Clyde to be my roommate ^^ So we start on the process to the Kyvy (kyleivy) wedding. Carsen, hun, I need that info on the wedding, and pretty please leave it in a review, because if you tell it to me over AIM I will never ever remember it. But I just need locations, decorations, invitations, and all of the details like that. Okay? And don't make the wedding in Italy, or something, because I don't want to get caught up in airplane bullshit. **

**I need an occupation for Craig...perhaps a proffessional kazoo player? Haha...well, maybe him and Luce can play the sax together. If you read BiracialBeauty's** 'Stuck With the Fat Guy!' **Lucy plays the alto saxophone and Craig plays tenor saxophone (and Cartman also horribly plays baritone saxophone). **

**Next chapter fun-ness: Reunion (where it shall be an OC and kids palooza), possibly Kyvy wedding, Lucy confrontation with Essie, and...other stuff I make up. Fun times. So will most likely be a long chapter (and a long wait).**

**Kaysha Black:** xMiss Universe

**Kimberly Shao: **BiracialBeauty

**Cassandra Nightwish:** dark child 1995

**Ivy Valmont:** Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera" Fabiano:** XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson:** JVM-sp150

**Well, I will have a bit of writing time...I have a five days off of school 'cause of Memorial Day (Catholic schools kickass! Yep, one Catholic school without little churchboys, my school is filled with very horrible people, such as myself XD). Or maybe I won't write, maybe I'll just chillax...oh well, it depends what mood I'm in. **

**Baibai,**

**KB**


	32. The Maid Of Honor, Lucille

"You're being a wimp. You've been holding this off for about three weeks, and now you need help?" Clyde observed from Rosita the chair as I hung up the phone. I had just talked to the lovely Sera, who agreed to come with me to talk with Esther. So what if I've been holding it off for two weeks (and a half)? I was going to do it eventually.

Esther has managed to rope Craig into taking her on five dates. Enough is enough.

I rolled my eyes, "No, it's not wimpy, loser, it's being…ready. I have never liked Esther, and she has never liked me. For all I know, lasers might shoot out of her eyes."

Clyde snickered as he flipped through the channels on Stevie the TV. I smirked, shoving at him, then plopped down on the couch (which I moved next to Rosita). We sat in silence before an 'Armour Hot Dog' commercial came on and Clyde started to sing the old radio jingle: "Hot dogs, Armour Hot Dogs...What kinds of kids eat Armour Hot Dogs? Big kids, little kids, kids who climb on rocks! Fat kids, skinny kids, even kids with chicken pox! They love hot dogs, Armour Hot Dogs! The dogs kids love to bite!"

We sat there, singing oldies songs our parents used to teach us ("And then the witch doctor, he told me what to do! He said that...Ooo eee, ooo ah ah ting tang walla walla, bing bang!") until Sera came. She had a welding mask in her bag ("Just in case lasers shoot out of her eyes.").

* * *

"Can't believe I'm doing this...Ivy's wedding is in two days, I should be helping..." I mumbled. Sera rolled her eyes as she continued to drag me towards Tweek's coffee house,

"Shut up, Lucy, you've been procrasinating for too long-"

"Don't be a hypocrite, Sera,"

"Shut up, I said. But you really should talk to Esther. She's attacking your best friend with kisses. Is that really what you want to see? She's probably in there now, asking Craig to take her to Ivy's wedding."

We walked through the doors of the coffee house, where, indeed, Esther sat with Craig, giggling obnoxiously. Craig waved at us and Esther gave us both a nasty 'smile'. I shot Craig a look and he quickly excused himself, saying something about meeting uop with Clyde . Sera and I plopped down next to each other, across from Esther, folding our hands on the table.

"Hullo, Esther."

"I go by 'Essie', now, Lucille."

"Lucy." I corrected calmly before continuing, "So, I see you and Craig are, er, dating, Esther."

The bitch got this really proud look on her face as she chuckled, "Yes. Your ex-boyfriend, I believe, Lucy." Sera muttered 'bitch' under her breath as I was momentarily caught off guard. I sighed,

"That was about five years ago. I'm very much over him, Es. And you know what I remember? When me and him _were_ together you were such a bitch to me it wasn't even funny. I was about to pound your stupid, ugly face in, but I didn't, just because I have self control. I remember you did everything to get me and Craig to split up." My voice raised with every word. What can I say? I was pissed.

Esther laugheda mirthless laugh, "Oh, and you know what, fucktard? I did split you guys up! I became friends with that stupid Mormon Gary. I made him give Craig the drugs, it was all me. I just needed _you_ out of the picture.'

I stomped to my feet, my hands fisting, and Sera put on her welding mask, backing up a bit. With all of the hate building up inside of me, I said as harshly as possible,

"You _bitch_! You ruined his life! Do you fucking know what drugs can do to a person!? And just because you were so desperate for a boyfriend? You're fucking insane, do you know that?"

Esther got to her feet too, her eyes narrowing, "Perhaps," By this time, Tweek was freaking out, Sera was looking for cover, and everyone else in the Tweek Bros was staring at us as Esther continued, "But maybe if you weren't such a _lousy_, _whiny-as-hell_, _stupid_, _fucking UGLY_ girlfriend, you two might've still been together. But no. You had to be such a retard."

And I lunged for her, my hands reaching for her neck. They almost got there (my mails scratched against her skin, causing blood), but Sera and Bugs (who was working at the time) grabbed my shoulders, pulling me back urgently. Esther gasped angrily, quickly dabbing her neck with napkins as she gathered up her bag, quickly running out of the coffee house.

* * *

"Hey, Lucy-Lou, wh-" I ignored Clyde, running straight into my room, sitting stiffly on my bed. I heard the front door open and close again and Clyde's voice asking,

"What happened!?"

Sera sighed heavily as she explained the happenings at the coffee house. They two entered my room quietly, sitting down on either side of me. Sera handed me a napkin. We sat there until I stopped staring at the floor. I wasn't crying, though. Once I looked up at them, Clyde decided to start jumping on my bed. Soon enough we had a pillow fight and all that jazz. Sera even stayed the night. We watched cheesy movies, ate popcorn, candy, and any other food that had a high amount of calories, told scary stories in the dark, and we slept for about three hours. I smiled the whole time. Why couldn't we just be kids again?

* * *

"Waaaait...are you sure _Damien_ got you pregnant?"

I could practically see Ava roll her eyes. We were talking on the phone the next morning while I cooked some pancakes for the still-sleeping Clyde and Sera. Ava snapped, "Of course Damien got me pregnant, I wouldn't cheat on him."

"Yeah...that was what I was afraid of..."

"Whaddya mean by that?!"

"You're pregnant with the spawn of the spawn of Satan! Your baby will probably make the world IMPLODE!"

"Oh, please, what do you want me to do? Get an abortion? Hell no. I want this baby, and it's what I'm getting."

Just another thing to add to my list of problems.

* * *

"No, those go over there! And be careful with that ice statue, it's DELICATE!" I hollered at the worker. It was the day of Ivy's wedding. I had spent the past couple of days concentrating on planning this with Ivy, to get my mind off of the fight with Esther.

So Ivy decided for her wedding to be outdoors, facing Stark's Pond. I had timed the Father Leopold's little speech thing so when Ivy and Kyle would kiss, the setting sun would reflect on the ice of Stark's Pond, sending a beautiful orange glow on the two. Oh, and did I mention little Butters became a priest? Dunno, something about his 'calling'. We don't see him as much, though, but he's very cool to be around. And he might be gay.

So I was in charge of setting up the decorations (or, rather, ordering people to set up the decorations just right) and I've been at it since about noon. It's six o' clock right now, Ivy's father would be giving her away in half an hour. Everything looked very beautiful, and not even any snow on the ground. Totally an outdoor wedding day. The trees were decorated with everything teal colored. Kyle had actually come up with this color scheme, mixing his favorite color of green and Ivy's favorite color of blue.

There were rows and rows of painted and flowered benches, as a lot of people were coming. Our whole grade/high school class, the parents, and even a few of Ivy's old mafia friends. Flowers were basically everywhere - the trees were blossoming, they were sprouting from the grounds, bouquets were on a few chairs, and petals were sprinkled around the place. I wonder how Jodi, the flower girl, would find a place to throw petals...

"Ah, Lucy, there you are..." A familiar voice called. I turned and smiled to see the bride's father, William Valmont, striding towards me, looking smart in his tailored tuxedo. He actually combed his usually wild fiery red hair for once, and his blue eyes were sparkling with tiny tears. I guess all fathers get like that on their daughter's wedding day...it is them who's giving the bride away. Even tough adventurers like Mr. Valmont get choked up too, I suppose.

"Hey Mr. V, what's up?" He glanced at his watch,

"Well, I was just looking for my daughter...we arrived together, but she got swept away the bridesmaids and her other friends...do you know where she is? I understand you're the one who's controlling this wedding."

I chuckled, "Yeah, they're all over at the Fabianos," I pointed to Sera's house, which is located convientently close to Stark's Pond, "Sera Fabiano will probably show you where she is. I have to get over there soon myself..."

Mr. Valmont nodded and thanked me, hurrying towards the house. I was making sure the musicians were in tune when Kaysha hurried towards me. Even though we're a bit older, Kaysha still holds on to her fashion sense. Straight from London, she bought a beautiful forest-colored dress. Kaysha is one of the bridesmaids, and Ivy let her pick out what they would wear, so Kay instructed us to buy either green or blue dresses, or even teal. Kaysha looked beautiful, but the bride's dress is always supposed to be radiant. Ivy must be feeling great...well, she better be, it's her wedding day! I'm just happy Kyle and her are finally tying the knot. It's about time.

Kaysha took my arm, "Lucy, Ivy's been freaking out! You're the maid of honor, you have to get over to Sera's RIGHT NOW! Oh, where's your dress and stuff? C'moooon!"

I picked up my bags and boxes, "Everything is right here, now let's go!"

We raced towards the Fabianos (well, Kaysha kind of hobbled in her high heels) as fast as we could, bursting through the doors, into the living room, where I saw the beautiful Ivy Valmont. Kimberly, Ava, and Sera were all there, as well as a few other girls who were our friends. Ava was behind Ivy, putting the finishing touches on her hair.

Ivy's wedding dress was beautiful - the strapless kind that seemed to wrap around her upper body, and then stretch out around her waist for the puffiness-wedding-dress-vibe. Her hair's wavy for the occasion, and seemed to be held up by magic - but if you look extra-extra closely, you could see about a million bobby pins digging into her skull. She was talking to her father, tears brimming her eyes. I smiled. It's not every day you see Ivy cry, but when she cries for happiness, you might get choked up too.

She gasped, looking up at me, "Luce! Finally! Go on, get into your dress, the ceremony starts in 15 minutes!"

"First I must say you look beautiful. Kyle is really, really lucky."

My redhead friend got to her feet, smiling a big, genuine smile and hugged me. Then pushed me towards the bathroom, "GO CHANGE!"

I nodded, going into the bathroom to change into my dress. It was a strapless, and made of dark blue silk twisted fashionably into a dress. I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror and reached in to one of my bags to get my silver sandal heels, but...

"Hey Ivy," I walkd out of the bathroom, and Ivy smiled at me,

"Hey! You look awesome!"

"I can't find my shoes."

Ivy paused at this, looking down at my bare feet. She and Kaysha started to whisper with each other and then Kaysha announced, "Ladies! Take off your shoes! It shall be a shoe-less wedding, thanks to Miss Lucy Montgomery over here!" She thumped a hand against my back. I laughed as the girls calmly kicked their shoes off and I checked the time,

"Aye carumba...guys, we gotta get out there! Wedding starts in 10 minutes! Mr. Valmont, you take Ivy's arm, Jodi...where's Jodi? There you are. Aw, you look so pretty...anyway, Jodes, you go first with the pretty petals and then I go, then Mr. Valmont and Ivy, you guys follow me, and then the bridesmaids too...ugh." I answered my cell phone angrily,

"WHAT!? I have a wedding to set up here - wait, what? HE WHAT?! THAT SON OF A-"

"LUCY! Kids are in the house!"

"Okay, I'll be over there in a minute." I hung up my cell phone, looking at the expecting faces. I lied quickly, "One of the workers almost dropped the ice heart. I have to go check up on that..." I whispered to Ava quickly,

"It's Kyle. Don't tell Ives."

* * *

"Lucy! There you are!"

Stan was waiting outside of Kyle's house in his tux. He's obviously the Best Man. He nodded, "You look great."

"Same to you. What's goin' on?"

Stan took a deep breath, "Kyle. He' freaking out, he's a mess! I've tried to talk to him. He listened, but I don't think it got quite through to him. You're the peacemaker, do you think you can help?"

I took a deep breath, entering the Broflovski household, "Yeah. I'll try."

I hurried up the stairs, where I heard yelling. I quietly opened the door, where I saw Shelia Broflovski yelling at her son, who was staring out his window, not listening. I put a hand on Shelia's shoulder. She turned sharply and looked me over, "Oh, Lucille, you look fine. Where are your shoes?"

"Long story, Shelia. But may I talk to Kyle?"

"But-"

"Please?"

Shelia sighed heavily and marched out of the room. I approached Kyle, patting his back, "Hey, poindexter. You ready? Wedding starts soon, you gotta be up on that platform in about 8 minutes."

Kyle muttered in an almost inaudible voice, "D'you think I can do this?"

"Do you love Ivy?"

"Of course!"

"Then you're ready for this. Love always prevails, doesn't it?"

"W-what about you and Craig? You guys loved each other, but you aren't t'gether anymore..." I didn't explode at him like I did when Esther brought up Craig and I, together. I knew Kyle was just scared. I sighed heavily,

"That doesn't matter. Love works differently for certain people. You've loved Ivy since we were kids, and she's loved you the same. It's a pretty strong bond, if you ask me. I've heard your vows, and I know they came from your heart, and that's exactly what you should follow. Just get out there and marry Ivy. And don't go on that your afraid of commitment. You had a friggin' baby with her. You'll be a great husband, father, and friend, I know it. Okay?"

Kyle hugged me and I knew it was a yes.

* * *

"I, Kyle Broflovski, take you, Ivy Valmont, to be my wife because I love you. You are my best friend. Today I give myself to you in marriage. I promise to encourage and inspire you, to laugh with you, and to comfort you in times of sorrow and struggle. I promise to love you in good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it seems hard, when our love is simple, and when it is an effort. I promise to cherish you, and to always hold you in highest regard. These things I give to you today, and all the days of our life. Today, Ivy, I join my life to yours, not merely as your husband, but as your friend, your lover, and your confidant. Let me be the shoulder you lean on, the rock on which you rest, the companion of your life. Again I say: I love you, Ivy Valmont."

Tears were streaming down my cheeks as Kyle finished his vows. I even jumped a little, in my place on the platform. Stan was always crying a bit. Actually, now that I look, everyone was pretty much crying. Shelia was bawling.

Ivy was crying too, but she managed to choke out her own vows,

"I, Ivy Valmont, take you, Kyle Broflovski, to be my husband because I promise to give you the best of myself and to ask of you no more than you can give. I promise to accept you the way you are. I fell in love with you for the qualities, abilities, and outlook on life that you have, and won't try to reshape you in a different image. I promise to respect you as a person with your own interests, desires, and needs, and to realize that those are sometimes different, but no less important than my own. I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you see through the window of my personal  
world into my innermost fears and feelings, secrets and dreams. I promise to grow along with you, to be willing to face change as we both change  
in order to keep our relationship alive and exciting. And finally, I promise to love you in good times and in bad, with all I have to give and all I feel inside in the only way I know how... completely and forever."

Butters stuttered, "Inasmuch as you have consented together in marriage, by virtue of the authority vested in me by the laws of the state, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Kyle, you can kiss her now!"

The two redheads smiled and as soon as they kissed, the setting sun reflected off of Stark's Pond, showering everyone in a beautiful orange/yellow/red light. I was sobbing by now and I felt someone hug me. I laughed, hugging Craig back.

* * *

**I'm incredibly proud of this chapter. Weddings are fun to write, y'know...**

**I didn't think up the vows myself. I had help from the internet XD But I wrote PARTS of the vows, alright? And again I say I'm proud of it. Kaysha Black: xMiss Universe**

**Kimberly Shao:** BiracialBeauty

**Ivy Valmont:** Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera" Fabiano:** XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson:** JVM-sp150


	33. Spawns of Spawns? Weird, Lucille

* * *

"Whaddya mean you haven't told him!?"

I looked up at Ava, who was in her sleeping bag across from me. She shrugged, "It would be just too weird to see his reaction to this..." She shook her head, "We never even thought about having a baby." I recalled the time Bebe showed Wendy and I a positive pregnancy test, at age 16, bawling. She could hardly talk (it turned out to be a food baby). But Ava is very different - she seemed calm. But uneasy.

Sera, Ava, Kaysha, and Kimberly all sat up in our sleeping bags, passing around bowls of candies in my living room. I had put on scented candles rather than lights, because it was a rather exciting day and we all had to calm down. For those who had kids – the hubbys were watching them. We were having a bit of an after-after party for the wedding, even though Kyle and Ivy were in there own house, busy…y'know.

"Don't you have a bulge yet?"

"Yeah. It looks like I ate to much."

Sera tapped her chin curiously, "So that's why you weren't drinking so much today…"

The door slamming open interrupted our baby-talk and Clyde's voice rang out, "MAKE WAY FOR THE SINGLE MEN!"

I rolled my eyes and my friends laughed as Clyde, Tweek, Kevin, Craig, Token, and Kenny ran into the apartment, each of them wielding a large bottle of wine. Oh dear. Kenny made a big show of trying to tug off Kimi's wedding ring, but she kicked him in the shin. I took his hand, dragging him down so he sat next to me, "Tame yourself, Ken, do you really wanna try breaking Kim and Cartman up?"

Everyone fell silent at this, wondering what Cartman would possibly do to poor Kenny if he found out Kimi did it with our blonde friend. Kenny shivered and quickly took a swig of the dry rum bottle in his hand.

See how the relashionships in South Park are so strong? Kimi and Eric, Ivy and Kyle, Ava and Damien...all of them. A lot of them have kids, steady jobs, and good friends - something we never imagined in high school. We roared with laughter as we cracked jokes of how we were all going to end up as junkies without a place to stay (deep down, of course, we were deathly scared that would come true). Though in elementary we didn't care.

Just to sum up the rest of that night (or what I could remember of it), everyone got stone drunk except for Ava. I remember drinking games and such, but a bunch of black from there.

* * *

I patted Ava's hand as I drove through the streets of South Park, towards the apartment building Damien lived in. He uses it when he's not in Hell. It was the night after the I-can't-remember-anything party, and Ava decided to tell her fiance about her pregnancy. I had a thundering headache - I hope Damien won't scream. I parked and we entered the building.

I have two words to describe Damien's flat: black, and Hell-ish. Seriously. The three (yes three, all in one room) fireplaces are always lit, the crackling, roaring flames looking ready to explode. I remember to bring one of those paper fans whenever I come. Ava never seems to mind, which is so amazing. Ava put her bag on the table, walking into the three-fireplaces-room and seeing Damien glaring into the flames, sitting on his red velvet throne. The flames reflected on his red eyes. I know, it sounds very...plain, but there's no other way to say it. Flames seemed to surge through his eyeballs. I wonder if he does this every morning.

"Hey, Damien," Ava sighed. The Devil's son broke out of his staring-fire-trance-thingamajig and looked like he wanted to smile - but Damien really does not smile. But he looked very happy to see Ava, and he did this without smiling. Amazing, this man is, and not just because he's related to Satan. Ava swooped down, kissing him, and said quietly, "I have something to tell you."

"Why is she here?" Damien nodded to me.

"I just needed back up."

I wiggled my fingers, "Hullo, Damien."

"H'lo."

Ava's eyes flickered between each fireplace, to Damien, to me, and then to the kitchen, which she then walked to. Damien and I glanced at each other and followed. Ava was already sitting down at the table. I seated myself on the counter while the Devil-son remained standing, frowning expectantly at his fiance. He sensed something was wrong. Ava took a deep breath, taping her black fingernails against the table, "The condom broke. I'm pregnant."

Damien's eyes widened for a split second and a vase exploded a few yards away from me (I shieled myself with the lid of a pot), but then his eyes half-lidded again. He sat down across from Ava, frowning down at his hands. Ava looked at me and I pressed a finger to my lips. It would probably be smart to shut up while Damien is in his thinking-mode.

After about five minutes, Damien uttered, "Will it hurt?"

"What?"

"Giving birth to a child. I've never seen it happen. H've you?"

He looked up at Ava, and glanced over to me as well. Ava nodded slowly, "Well, no, I've never actually seen it, but when Kimberly Shao-Cartman gave birth to Jennifer, a lot of us were in the waiting room. A lot of screaming."

"Yeah, I was in the waiting room when my mom gave birth to my little screaming. She was cursing bunches at my dad. So I guess it hurts."

Damien's eyes widened again, "No. I won't let some mere human hurt you through birth. How do we get it out?"

"Ah, abortion, but I really don't want to do that, Damien. And the thing is, this baby," She patted her slightly bulged tummy, "will only be partially human, on my part. This'll be the next anti-Christ, if it gets enough genes from you." Damien's eyes narrowed on her stomach. She added, "Do you even want this baby?"

"Yes."

Damien stood up and walked back to the three-fireplaces-room. Ava and I looked at each other. I high-fived her, suddenly very enthusiastic, "WOO-HOO! MOMMA AVA IN THE HOOOOUUUSEEE!"

* * *

So, yes, Ava shall become a mommy in a several fun-filled months. Damien has been reading up on pregnancy and fatherhood. Even got a few tips from his own padre on how to raise the ideal devil-child. Only bad part about this is that Damien hardly lets Ava out of his sight, so we aren't seeing much of her, and so therefore I can't further explain her condition. A lot of the drama has died down a bit - the hours, days, and now a whole week of talking about Kyle and Ivy have stopped (until they come home from their honeymoon, at least), and everyone panicked when they found out about Ava's pregnancy. But now everyone is just worrying inside their heads, rather than running around with torches and pitchforks, screaming and sobbing. So I've spent my time, stopping by everyones houses/apartments/ect., catching up on everything (saving stuff for tonight's reuinion, of course). Craig seems content with life, but Esther still has a keen eye for him. I've been hanging around Tweak Bros, so I've been seeing a lot of Tweek, who is very nervous about the reunion (something about that he won't have underwear because of the...gnomes or something), and Token isn't around a lot because he has a lot of buisness trips, but he's the one I go to when I'm in the dumps. Stan and Wendy seem to be handling there life well, with two children and a big real estate job...John, Annie, and their son Andy have been stopping by the apartment a lot for dinner, lunch, brunch, and so on...Kenny and Sera are basically ALWAYS over here, searching for food and TV, and Kimi, Cartman, and their daughter Jodi stop by on their free time. Oh, and Clyde is in complete paradise, it seems. He runs his shoestore three times a week (he hired some teen bloke to handle the other four days), I cook delicious meals for him, and we have cable.

"CLYDE!" I hollered as I smoothed out my light blue dress (the floaty kind you can spin in), turning a few times in the mirror. I frowned at the silence, "CLYDE! ARE YOU READY YET!?" Let's see...reunion starts in an hour, and we gotta pick up Tweek, Kenny, Sera, John, and Annie.

Clyde howled back, "HOLD YOUR DAMN HORSES, WOMAN, I CAN'T GET THIS FUCKING TIE ON!"

I rolled my eyes, slipping into my blue heels and checking my hair one more time (sidebangs dyed light blue and sparkly) before stomping over to Clyde's room, grabbing the red tie from his hands and looping it around his neck, tying it, "How old are you now, Clyde? Yes, 23. I've tied your stupid tie for every event I can remember - prom, graduation, dates..."

He yawned and picked me up, slinging me over his shoulder, "Yeah, thanks, babe. Now lets roll, Kenny's bringing beer."

* * *

"May I have this dance, mademoiselle?"

I chuckled, taking Craig's hand and he led me to the dance floor, "What about Essie? You came here with her, right?"

"Yeah...but she had to go to the bathroom. Also said something about fixing her scarf. Those gashes you gave her on her neck...man, she's been whining about it non-stop," He twirled me around, "But they look funny, like she got mauled by a tiger or somethin'. You really hate her, don'tcha?"

_"Not enough, obviously," _I thought with a tiny fade in my smile. I haven't told Craig that it was Esther that had told the Gary guy to give Craig the drugs. But I smiled again as Craig twirled me around again.

That's how it went for the next hour or two - dancing with old friends, making small talk and having a few laughs. I grinned when a certain Stoley asked me for a dance. And no, not Esther. Kevin.

"Hey, Kevin! How've you been?"

Kevin has always been a friend of mine. Y'know, the type of person who's friends with everyone because he never actually did anything so bad. Except...that one time...when he broke up with Kimberly. There was this big thing between him, Kimi, and Cartman. So insane. You can ask Kimberly about the whole thing, she could probably tell it best.

We talked energetically to match the song, and somehow the topic landed on a Mister Vanson.

"I'm just...I dunno, annoyed. He used to be so cool. Then he ditches us for college, and New York, marries Annie, has a kid..." At the same time, we nodded, saying, "College screwed him up."

"I think it screwed everyone up. Everyone's to serious. I mean, lookit me and Esther. Killing each other, practically." Kevin quieted at this and I huffed a bit.

* * *

**Yeah...not a long chapter...at all. But I just haven't been able to write a whole lot lately. But I hope that'll be cured 'cause** JVM-150 **is letting me write a chapter of the Story With No Plot. Yayyy. 8D**

**By now you should know the credits...I'm not supposed to be on the computer, so I can't copy and paste them right now XD**

**BAIBAI!!!**

**~KB**


	34. Write Me A Love Song, Lucille

**1. Pick a character, pairing, or fandom you like.  
2. Turn on your music player and put it on random/shuffle.  
3. Write a drabble related to each song that plays. You only have the time frame of the song to finish the drabble; you start when the song starts, and stop when it's over. No lingering afterwards!  
4. Do five of these, then post them.**

_Riot Girl - Good Charlottte (IvyxKyle)_

Sometimes, I don't understand the concept of 'best friend'. Do we really need a 'best' friend? Because all of my friends are pretty cool. Stan...yes, he's my SUPER Best Friend, we're labeled as that and Stan really is my closest friend I can depend on...but I also have another friend. She's very pretty, too - long red hair, electric blue eyes, and a great smile...but I've never told her those compliments. She's my friend, it would be too weird. And there's a slight chance she might pound my face in.

I have to say...Ivy Valmont is tough. She's violent, stubborn, and has a short temper. Lots of times, she's pissed off at everyone, everywhere. I was on the verge of calling the police. FBI, maybe. But she would just sic the mafia on us. And yet...I still love her, as a friend and as something more. Ives likes me, I know that - not like-like, but I'm pretty sure she considers me her best friend. It's what her friends tell me, anyway. And then they get all giggly and shit.

Her cousin (my arch-enemy) is mean to her. Says she needs an attitude adjustment. Maybe she does, but I don't really care - she's my best friend and I like her the way she is - a riot.

_Fuck You Very Much - Lily Allen (KimberlyxCartman)_

That little bastard. How DARE he...how fucking DARE he...

That Eric Cartman should take a look inside his little tiny brain - and I'm speaking for everyone. We're all so sick and tired of the hatred he emmits. He doesn't have the respect to say those words to me. I mean...just think back on all of those stupid, ugly remarks he's said to everyone...telling people what's right and what's wrong...well, he's just some racist who can't be nice even if his life depended on it. He's just so...evil.

Fuck him. I hate him so goddamn much. I wonder if he enjoys being so mean. Maybe he's after...approval? Well, lemme tell you, Eric, saying stuff like that is not how you earn it! Lucy - our local peacemaker/spiritfinder - says there's a little hole in his heart, where his soul should be.

We're all in senior year now - a bunch of us have been crying, saying how much we'll miss each other. Well, I'll never miss Eric Cartman. We won't stay in touch, and I'll avoid him at reunions. See how much I hate him? And he has the fucking nerve to say those words to me...

How dare he say he loves me.

_You Are The Sunshine Of My Life - Stevie Wonder (AvaxDamien)_

People say I'm dark. Creepy. Weird. They say I should go join the Goths. Do you know why they say those things to me?

Because I'm close friends with the devil-spawn himself, Damien Thorn.

So yeah, he's no rainbow in the sky, or the ripest apple on the tree. He's not a unicorn, he's not a chirping little bird in the spring. But in a way, he's a little ray of very, very, very dim sunlight. To me, at least. He and I have a very nice friendship. Me, him, and Pip are all a very tightly-knit pack, no matter how much Damien wants his space. I love him, I suppose, but not in a gushy way. I know this'll sound cliche, but in a very...mysterious way. We would never be one of those sweet couples, giggling and cooing every time we look into each others eyes. We'll love each other, heart-to-heart. Oh, I can just hear John Vanson and Kenny McCormick making perverted jokes..."Oh, no, Ava, don't you mean you'll love each other, penis-to-vagina?"

Ha. Hahahaha.

"H'lo, Ava."

"Ah, hey Damien."

We walk away, in search of the third of our pack. But I like it sometimes, just the two of us. Because I love him. In a very, very non-gushy way.

_Summer of 69' - Bryan Adams (CraigxLucy)_

Now I want to get this straight to you - I love Craig Tucker. Deeply. As my mother would say, he's a free spirit. As my father would say, he's an obnoxious rebel. I sorta agree with both of them, and those are two good examples why I love Craig. Yes, even the obnoxious part. I tell him over and over again that I love him...he laughs and flicks my forehead. I tell a lot of people I love them, so I guess he feels like all of those other people.

I remember...the summer of 99'. We were eleven, back then. Craig got his first real six-string guitar - played it 'till his fingers bled. Him and the others had a band, even, and they were a hit - even got paid. So, when he wasn't guitar playing, he would treat us (us being Tweek, Clyde, Token, and I) to a drive-in. I would like to sit next to Craig, as our friends would cause havoc (we would join in the havoc after a while). Then, sometimes I would find myself sitting alone on my stoop, in the summer of 99'. You would flip me off before coming over yourself, sitting with me. Those were touching moments to me, even though we were only eleven. Then we'd jump someone's fence, strip down to our undergarments and cannonball into their pool, but that's beside the point. Still touching.

On the last day of the summer of 99', you declared those past few months were the best days of your life. I planted a big, sloppy kiss on your cheek in agreement. Because in the summer of 99', I fell in love with Craig. I didn't realize it too much, back then, but now I'm pretty damn sure. And it's nice to be in love.

* * *

**Yeah, another impulse write...**

**Hope you guys liked the song choices. First ones that came to mind. I'll use other OC pairings as we move along in this story...which might not be updated soon, due to a certain author getting grounded...**

**love u**

**~KB**


	35. Boom Baby, Lucille

* * *

"So, when did you get that tattoo?"

I raised an eyebrow at Craig. We had just got back from the reuinion, crashing at my place - Clyde had gone to some chick's house, so we didn't need to drive him home. Now, I had changed into my sweatpants and Knicks sweatshirt, and Craig was in his boxers and undershirt. All very comfortable, and Craig had decided to stir up that conversation.

"What?"

Craig took another gulp from the bottle of beer, "Above your butt. I didn't remember it from when we were teenagers. You sure you don't need a drink?"

I shook my head, "Nah, my stomach has been feeling weird for a while. When did I tell you about that tattoo?"

My friend paused, frowning suddenly at the floor before looking back up at me, "You told me about it a few days ago. It's, er, one of those fancy thingamajigs...all black and gold with hearts and roses. The eagle wasn't enough?"

I rolled my eyes. One time, when we were really stoned, Kenny and I got tattoos...we were 17, I think. Ken got the Grim Reaper on his side, and I got this bigass gold eagle going over my shoulder and around my upper back. Mom disapproved, but didn't feel like spending the money to get it removed. I got the second one on my lower back last year, for my birthday.

I sighed, "Well, I'm pooped. Do I look bloated to you? I tried not to eat to much-"

"Luce, stop _right _there," Craig grimanced, "Not something you should ask a guy. Ever."

"Hey, I'm serious! I feel fat."

Craig fisted his hands quickly, trying not to flip me off. He sighed heavily, "Don't say that." I grunted, leaning back into my barcalounger, crossing my arms over my stomach stubbornly, all pout-like. Poor Craig, putting up with me. I shrugged, pulling a blanket over me,

"Whatever. Either that or my boobs are getting bigger."

"I'd like to check that, if you want."

"Fuck off, Craig."

Both of us fell asleep - Clyde hadn't come home yet. I had peaceful dreams - the usual...fluffy clouds, pretty unicorns, giant flowers...until I was suddenly lurched out of my dreams. I felt a funny rumbling in my tummy. I ignored it at first, but it kept growing bigger...so I rushed to the bathroom...and I ralphed. Several times. Very, very unpleasent. Luckily, in my mad scramble to the bathroom, I had woken Craig up and he ever-so-kindly held my hair back as I tossed my cookies. After cleaning up, taking a shower, brushing my teeth eight times and practically using up my whole bottle of mouth wash, Craig came back into the bathroom,

"So," He frowned as I dabbed my forehead with a fluffy white towel, "what's wrong with you?"

I shrugged helplessly, frowning, "I have no idea. Probably my period or something," Craig gagged a bit as I spoke, "It's that time of month anyway. Actually, it's late by two weeks. Get outta here, I gotta check," I shoved Craig back out of the bathroom and I...well, I checked. And nothing. Nada. Zilch.

I ran over possibilities in my head. Mom always had a bunch of magazines about body health...missing a period could mean I'm under stress, or I'm sick...yeah, maybe I'm just sick. I _did_ just puke up a week's worth of food...but there is that...other possibilty. I quickly unlocked the bathroom door, rushing to Craig, who was watching TV. I shook his shoulder urgently,

"Craig, can you drive me to the store? Please?"

"What?! Why? It's 3 in the morning, Luce, it's probably not even open."

"Okay, then, the 7-11 on Evergreen Terrace! Now! Pleeease!"

He frowned at me in confusion before taking my car keys from the table, "Okay, fine, jeez. Calm down." He took my arm carefully, leading me of my apartment, and slowly towards the elevator. We really didn't care that I was in pajamas, and he was in his boxers. Good guy, Craig is...he drove me quickly to the 7-11, where I ran in, running for the medicine/body care aisle, going through each of the kits quickly, trying to find the one recommended. I grabbed the box, taking the keys to the 7-11 bathroom (ignoring Craig's call of "Y'know, you're still going to have to pay for that even if it has your pee on it!"). And that probably gave it away. I took a pregnancy test. Once I finished up, I fixed my clothes and held the white stick, frozen for three minutes.

Stupid, stupid plus sign.

* * *

"You're telling me...you're...pregnant?" Annie Polk-Vanson asked slowly, her hands on my shoulders. I nodded blankly. The Vansons were the first people I had thought of - they were closest to Evergreen Terrace as well. I had practically knocked down their door with my frantic knocking, when Annie finally answered, in her pink nightrobe and slippers.

"Hey, Luce..." John appeared behind his wife, frowning in concern, "What's going on?" He glanced at Craig, who leaned against my car, his arms crossed, frowning at the sidewalk. Annie explained my...condition, and I was brought into the house.

Annie took a deep breath as she sat across from me on the couch. She patted down her short, blonde curls before saying, "Okay, Lucy, first off...how did you find out?" Craig took a seat at an armchair next to mine, and John took a seat with his wife. I cleared my throat,

"Pregnancy symptoms, y'know? Morning sickness, I missed my period...my back and head hurts..."

John got into his very-serious-mode, his eyes narrowing a bit, "Well, who's the father?"

I paused at this. Hm...I sighed, "I know this might sound a tad bit wrong...but I'm not quite...sure." My friends fell silent at this, all looking at each other with nervous frowns. But luckily, none of them spazzed. Instead, Annie said calmly,

"Well, we can just take one of those DNA test thingies."

Craig scowled, cracking his knuckles out of worry, "What, and get blood from every guy in South Park?"

"Well," John looked at my carefully, "who have you slept with lately?"

I threw my hands up angrily, "That's the thing! I _haven't_ slept with anyone since I got here!" Ew...another awkward silence...but John took a deep breath,

"Kevin works at the hospital, we'll just take a sample from you," He gestured towards my stomach, "And Kev can take it to the blood bank and just match up the samples. I bet we can either get it for free, or way cheaper then usual." Annie, Craig, and I looked at each other before nodding. It was the only way.

* * *

"**YOU - LYING - UGLY - FUCKED** - _SON OF A BITCH_!!!!"

Yeah...kinda creepy for me to be screaming that (and punctuating each word with a powerful punch, or throwing something heavy)...but I couldn't help it. I was really, really, really pissed off. As in...really pissed off.

"You...your such a dick sucking, swallowing, shallow, worthless, sodomizing _demon_! You waste of sperm! FUCKING SCRUNT!" I threw a plate him. If I was watching someone do this, it would actually be quite funny...but seriously...I'm ANGRY. And a scrunt is a slimy, rotten cunt if you were wondering, "Go fuck yourself, goddamnit!"

He ducked and the plate flung into the wall, crashing into a million pieces. He shielded his face from my fists, "Luce - ow! - I didn't - I'm sorry! I was stoned, I didn't know what I was doing!" My eyes narrowed and I snarled,

"Don't give me that shit, you're such a fuck-up. Go to _hell_!" I slammed my fists against him again, "You got me _pregnant_! Can't you do anything right?! I hate you! I _hate_ you! Go do something useful - go die! Get away from me!" I gave the man one last shove before retreating to my room, slamming the door with a thunderous 'boom'. Stupid, stupid boy. Luckily, I didn't cry, no I did not. Instead I stared at myself in the mirror like you see in those sad movies, peering down at my bulge-y stomach. Then I cursed a bit...until Mrs. Cartman, Ms. Black, and Ms. Fabiano entered the room, looking urgent (and by Mrs. Cartman, I don't mean the slut, I mean my friend), frantic, and concerned.

Kaysha patted my back, ans Sera nodded sincerely, "Tell us about it."

* * *

"Well, Luce, I've found a way to deploy my airbags to full size." Bugs declared as we walked through the supermarket two days after I beat Him up. But He deserved it. Ah well. I've been much less happier, according to Mom, but I disagree. I raised an eyebrow,

"And by that you mean...?"

"My Bazooka Joes, no duh," Bugs said with a roll of her eyes. She's talked about her boobs, of course, but I decided to see if the ol' innocent-little-girl-who-has-no-idea-about-sex act would still work. Instead, my sister punched my shoulder. Ah wait...the innocent-little-girl-who-has-no-idea-about-sex act only works on Moms...

I picked at my nails, "Look, Bugs, your breasts are perfectly fine, Ike couldn't care less. I mean, some women can't fit through their shower doors, or fit into airplane bathrooms because their bongos are huge. All I'm saying is don't have your cleaveage spilling out of your shirt, alright?"

"I don't want them that big, Luce, and I don't mean Ike necessarily! I mean all guys."

I glared at my sister, "You know you go COMPLETLEY off topic sometimes. First were talking about my baby, then we're talking about grandma's evident karaoke skills, and now we're talking about your boobs."

"We'll go back to that first topic in a second. But to make your boobs bigger, eat KFC."

"The chicken?"

"Yep."

"Goddamnit, Bugs, now I want to eat chicken..."

"I guess that's what pregnancy gets you. So, girl or boy?" I shrug,

"Dunno, going to the doctor in an hour. Sera and Johnnycakes are comin' with me. Oh, and Ivy an' Kyle are coming back tomorrow, they need to hear the "big news"...lucky them." I snorted and pocketed a Mars bar and we headed towards the exit. Bugs knuckle-punched me and headed off to find Ike and I took a deep breath, speed-dialing Sera and asking her to pick me up outside of the mall.

* * *

"Ignore it!"

"Nope." Sera grinned at John, who glared at her frantically. I glanced at the caller ID of John's phone that Sera had stolen. _UNCLE JASON_ it said. Gosh, that guy had always creeped me out. Since John was driving, he couldn't get the phone from Sera, so she actually answered, and soon enough she was talking to Jason Voorhees.

Hello?" Sera chirped, giggling a bit. John snarled.

Sera put it on speaker and we heard a gurgly, scratchy, and rather disappointed voice reply,

"Hello Sera."

"Oh, hi Jason, what's poppin'?"

"Poppin'. . .? Oh, nothing, I'm just. . ." I tried to hide my laughter. How is this guy not dead yet? It's so insane! And he's also rather rich since he's in all of those movies, and I can mooch a bunch of bucks off of Johnnycakes whenever I want. Life gives us many pleasures that I am ever-so-thankful for. And in this case, it would be money. In any other case, it would be sex.

"Chillin'?" Jason snarled back. I slapped my forehead and wondered if he was going to hunt us down and chop us up with machetes.

"What?"

"You're just chillin', Bob Dylan," Sera replied cheerfully

John roared angrily, "He's not Bob Dylan!"

"What? No homes it's a saying. . . it doesn't matter, so anyway, Jason, what d'you want, calling at this time?"

"It's only 3:00pm. What are you doing?"

"Dude, chillax it's all copicetic...nothing illigal is occuring. Yet."

And then John grabbed his phone and threw it out the window. Sera and I glanced at each other and broke into laughter. Well, there's one for the history books...we hadn't stopped laughing until we got to Hell's Pass, and then up the elevator, and into the hospital room.

* * *

Clyde and Kimberly sat on either side of me, on the couch, watching cartoons. Specifically, Scooby-Doo. Clyed took a deep breath,

"You gave him a black eye, y'know."

I raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

"Yep. He won't come out of his apartment, though, and not just because of that black eye. Everyone knows your pregnant now and I don't think he'd be able to face the humility. He'll get rotten tomatoes thrown at him or somethin'."

"Coward," I spat.

* * *

**Another short chapter XD Maybe the rest of my chapters will be short. I dunno, the number of words in each chapter shall fluctuate...**

**Luv ya,**

**KB**


	36. Pregnancy is NOT Fun, Lucille

"So," Kaysha tilted her head to the side curiously, "You and Ava are, like, baby buddies now?"

Sera and Kimi laughed at Kaysha's use of 'baby buddies', while Ava and I rolled our eyes. We sat in a pancake house, due to my morning cravings. I was eating plum pancakes. Yep...plum. I had no idea the cravings came this early in pregnancy.

So, as ridiculous as she sounded, Kaysha was right. Ava and I are impregnanted with babies, only were slightly different. I have a small bump - Ava have a huge tummy by now. I feel fat - she feels pregnant. I sighed bitterly,

"Well, Ava's lucky - she actually knew the father of her kid the moment she found out she was pregnant. I had to go through DNA testings."

Sera shrugged, "Well, when exactly did you have sex with Craig?"

"After Ivy's wedding. You were all stoned. 'Cept Ava." I glanced at my friend suspiciously. She shrugged,

"Well, you two got all flirty...but I didn't think...oh," She paused a relization dawned upon her, "_That's_ why you guys disappeared..." I groaned, burying my face in my hands.

"Hey," Kimi patted my shoulder, "You were drunk, don't beat yourself up over it."

"Well, she already beat Craig up, so that leaves herself. " Kaysha smirked.

I rolled my eyes again and got back to my plum pancakes as my friends engaged in discussion about Ava's pregnancy.

* * *

"Sober? Whaddya mean sober?!"

Clyde shrugged, staring at Stevie the TV, watching 'Johnny Bravo'. He glanced at me, "Well, I wasn't totally drunk. Just...half-drunk, I guess."

"So you could've stopped Craig from knocking me up, you ass!" I socked him in the shoulder and he shrugged weakly.

"Yeah, that's what everyone else said..."

"You told other people!? What did you say!?"

"Well, that you and Craig did a little dance...made a little love..." He shrugged, "Basically got down that night."

I raised an eyebrow, slightly disgusted, "You watched us have sex?"

"Naw. But I heard you," He winked and got out of his seat, changing the subject quickly as he turned off the TV, "Anyway, we gotta pick up Kyle and Ivy from the airport...lucky little shits, going to Hawaii for their honeymoon...I should go get married." I rolled my eyes and we headed out the door.

* * *

A lot of people turned up to greet Ivy and Kyle at the airport. Stan, Wendy, John, Annie, Kimberly, Cartman, Kaysha, Kenny, Sera, Ava, Damien and all of their kids.

"Lucy! LUCCCCYYYY!"

Ivy dived for a hug, but Kenny slid in front of me, causing Ivy to slap into him. Ivy staggered back, raising an eyebrow. Kenny shook a finger, "No slamming into the fat lady."

I kicked Kenny's leg, causing him to tumble to the side so Ivy and I were face to face. I threw my hands up, "I'm pregnant!"

Ivy's mouth dropped open.

* * *

"This'll tickle a bit..." Token muttered.

I did giggle as he lay the plaster strips over my bloated torso. Token has always been somewhat of an artist, even though he runs a jewelry chain, and loves sculpting. So now he is making a cast of my pregnant tummy. Clyde, Kenny, and Tweek had decided to come and help...Kenny had slowly took Craig's place in our little adventures, as Craig had locked himself in his apartment and never came out, ever. It was worse than that time when Kyle become a hobbit because Ivy went to New York for a month.

So, as all of the casting material was plastered across my somtach, we sat in Token's living room, talking about baby names. After about 50 minutes, Kenny finally burst,

"Kenny! What about Kenny? Kenny is good." Kenny grinned, jumping up and down happily.

"Maybe," I chuckled. As Kenny pumped a fist, Clyde rolled his eyes,

"She said she'd name her kid Clyde."

"When!?"

"When we were watching that documentary on Bonnie and Clyde when we were thirteen."

"And you remember that?"

"Yes."

I rolled my eyes, "Well, I'll think about the names, okay? Just calm down."

And we quit the baby talk and started painting my stomach cast. Good times, I tell you.

* * *

**So, I cut this chapter very short for two reasons:**

**1) I have immense writers block**

**2) BiracialBeauty is closing her account. **

**I shall rant on both reasons starting...now.**

**1) GODDAMNIT writers block SUCKS BALLS. I AM SO ANNNNGRRRYYYY! I CANNOT WRITE ANYYYTHING! GRAAAGHGHGHHHHH! I HATE IT! IT HATEHATEHATEHATEHATE IT! I AM A SUCKY WRITER! I AM NEEEEVER GONNA WRITE ANOTHER CHAPTER OF THIS STORY AGAIN! No, no...just kidding. But writers block does indeed suck.**

**2) I'm not gonna be all raving and pissed in this rant, because it isn't BiracialBeauty's fault that she's closing her account. Some SON OF A BITCH (or maybe it's a girl) is picking on her. Yes, some guy (or girl) is harassing her on this very site. BB, if your reading this, then DON'T close your account! I mean, if Kimberly was getting picked on by Cartman, would she back down? I think you can answer that! (hint: the answer is no, she would not back down). ****Think about it, darling. I'm still gonna use your OC and everything, if it's okay with you. **

**Oh, and does anyone know any good baby names? For both genders, because I dunno if Lucy should have a boy or girl.**

**Love,**

**KB**


	37. Pregnancy IS Fun, Lucille

"CLYDE!"

I busted open my roommate's door to his bedroom, screaming his name excitedly. It was exactly 1:03 in the morning. He sat up abruptly, blinking, his words slurred due to tiredness, "Wut? Wh-what's goin' on?" I hopped up and down cheerfully,

"It's kicking! The baby's kicking!! C'mere, c'mere, feel it!" I had one hand on my stomach, the other waving him over.

"Uh, why don't you come over here."

"_Clyde_!"

"Luce, funny story, I'm not actually wearing any underwear. So get over here."

"Oh. Alright."

* * *

A lot of touching-of-the-stomach ensued that day, and I seriously felt pregnant - not fat and sick. I spazzed a few times at the feeling of being a mother, but I had good friends. They helped bunches. I visited the parentel units and Bugs, and they all started freaking out too (from happiness, though, I think). Around noon, during everyone's lunch break (I'm still bloody jobless), we all met up at Tweak's Coffee House, sitting on the comfy couches and armchairs. Kyle and Ivy had brought Jodi, John and Annie had brought Andy and Katherine, Stan and Wendy had brought Sharon and Jessica, and Kimi and Eric had brought Jenny. The kids occupied a whole sofa. Damn, people breed fast. We were again on the topic of baby names,

"Hey, what about Raven? That's pretty." Ivy smiled.

"Ives, she doesn't want to give birth to another kindergoth." Kenny snickered.

"Shaddup, Kenneth."

Kimi looked thoughtful, "How about Trent?"

All at once, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman gasped and seemed to cower a bit. Oh yeah...Trent Boyette. Well, I don't want four of my friends to run away every time they see my baby...so Trent is a low possibility. I've thought up of a few names myself - Matthew, Rianne, Don, Aaron, Fallon, Scarlett, and Johnny being just a few of them. I'm seriously considering naming my kid after one of my friends, even. A few suggestions I liked were Alice, Timothy, Natalie, Diana, and...well, Sera is convinced I should name my kid Johnny Bravo.

Token was the one who decided to change the subject, "Hey, guess who has a _new_ girlfriend?!"

We glanced around. No one knew. Serves how social we are...

"Craig."

There were multiple gasps, a few glances directed at me, and a laugh from Clyde and Kenny. Tweek twitched.

"Man, Essie is gonna kill him and his new girly-girlfriend," Clyde snickered. Sera raised her eyebrows at Clyde's statement before grinning at me. I knew that grin all to well - she was up to something. Oh dear God...

"Luce! You're pregnant!"

"I think I know that, Sera,"

"But _Craig _got you pregnant!"

I rolled my eyes, "Really?"

"Dude! Essie! She's totally gunna have a fucking _fit _when she sees you! God, this is gonna be so _sweet_!" The madwomen - Kaysha and Sera - both cackled with evilness. You could almost see the lightning crack behind them. Insane weirdos. But they had a point - Esther is going to sic wild dogs on me when she finds out her 'love' got me knocked up.

Kaysha grabbed a napkin and a pen, scribbling down a few stuff and handing it to me.

_The Cracking Of Esther Stoley_

_1) Her "one true love" having a new girlfriend_

_2) Her "one true damned love" being a daddy to Lucy M's baby_

_3) She hates Lucy M._

_Due to all of these events, Esther Stoley will indeed fall apart and probably go insane. People, don't go down any dark alleyways, because I assure you, you will find Esther Stoley with a chainsaw, ready to rip you apart. And Craig is all we have to blame. Well, Lucy too, but we won't admit that. Wait, I just did admit that...please disregard the sentance before this one. _

I rolled my eyes, but once again, my friend had a point. Who knows how stable Essie is anyway?

"Hey, Johnnycakes!"

"Whatup?"

"You talk to Kevin lately?" I questioned.

"A bit. Why?" He scratched the back of his neck. John has morphed a bit over the past week or two - more carefree, like he was when we were younger. Not completley the same, but I think he's making an effort. He and Kevin are friends again.

"He mention Essie at all?"

My brown-haired friend shrugged, "Not much. Well, he did say that she's still convinced that she and Craig are going to get married and have little mini Esthers and Craigs running around everywhere, but...that's basically it."

Bitchy psychopath.

We were silent for a moment before Kimi spoke up, "So, Token, what's Craig's new girlfriend's name?"

"Um, he mentioned her last name was something like Montes, or Monroe...something like that. Forget her first name. Started with an 'L', maybe..."

* * *

"Son of a bitch..." Clyde murmured as he entered our apartment. After our little gathering in the coffee house, everyone had returned to work, except me. I went back to the apartment, took a seat on the sofa, got a pile of magazines, and I hadn't moved since. A few contractions occured, but I got through those pretty quickly.

I raised an eyebrow at him, lowering my magazine, "What's up your butt?"

He kicked off his shoes, which hit the wall with a stiff slam...he fell down on his barcalounger, "Craig stopped by the shoestore."

I perked up a bit, "Really? How'd he look?"

"Fine. Happy."

"And you're dissapointed because...?"

My friend pouted, "He came with his girlfriend."

I chuckled, returning to my magazine...it was some article on movie reviews, "What? Was it some girl you slept with or something?" Clyde snorted,

"No!"

"Then I hope you were nice to her..."

"Who are you, my mother? And yes, I was nice to her. But man, if you were there, you would've spazzed out too." He adjusted himself to face me, "Her name's Lacey. Montoya. Brown eyes, black hair. Very pretty."

"Hm." I nodded, seeing nothing interesting. Clyde can spot a pretty girl anywhere. He continued, watching me carefully,

"She's a very nice person," He added.

My eyes widened a bit in disbelief, "Then why in hell do you not like her?!" Clyde shrugged, stating that Lacey reminds him too much of someone. Then he retreated to his room. As much as I think I do, I never really will understand men.

* * *

I've been coming less and less modest by the minute I stay in South Park. Before I knew it, Sera, Kaysha, Ivy, Kimi, and I were running into the local gym in this redneck mountain town, hollering the Stoley girl's name. As we stopped to take a break (actually, do to my condition, _I_ needed to take a break), taking seats on one of the gym's benches.

"To tell the truth," I began my confession, folding my hands over my stomach (which had become quite convenient as it grew), "I've been avoiding Esther, lately. She's mad."

"And we don't want to go among mad people," Kimi said calmly with a nod.

I shrugged, "Oh, we're all a bit mad here. You're mad," I pondered a bit, "I'm mad..." My friends giggled a bit as we got up, searching through the work-out equitment for Essie. We found her, jogging on one of the trillions of treadmills. Kaysha did the honors of leaping in front of the treadmill, throwing her hands into the air cheerfully,

"ESSIE! Darling!"

Stoley stared at her in disbelief before stopping the machine, pausing her iPod. She stepped off of the treadmill, and then noticed the rest of us. Her confused expression turned to disgust.

"What?"

I smiled, "I'm pregnant!"

"Oh," She sneered, "I thought you just got fatter."

Y'know, Esther can be nice when she wants to. Actually, she is a very nice person. Always filled with enthusiasm. But she's just no nice to...me. It's confusing, most of the time.

Ivy-The-Big-Mouth decided to happily blurt out, "It's Craig's baby!!"

Esther attacked me again, actually...my friends helped out this time, because really, I was in no condition to kick her butt. Ivy did that for me. As we ran out of the gym (we could hear the distant beeps of cell phones calling 911), my phone began to ring. Hm...Ava's calling. I answered,

"Sup, Ava?"

In response was a scream. I skidded to a stop, eyes wide. I closed my phone, threw it into Kaysha's car and climbed into it. As I started to rev the engine, my friends piled into the back, Kaysha taking shotgun (I ignored the hollors of me not supposed to drive) and I sped off, in the direction of Hell's Pass.

Ava's going into labor.

* * *

We caught up with Ava and Damien outside of the hospital. Damien was carrying Ava, a look of pure determination in his eyes. We hurried after them, towards the reception desk. The receptionist's eyes flickered between Ava and I, "Er...which one-"

Damien's eyes widened and a few plants and a bit of the floor set on fire, "The _SCREAMING _one, you idiot!" Ava was brought a wheelchair and was brought into the delivery room. Since Ava was screaming so much, they figured she didn't need the dialating part. Kimi, Kaysha, Ivy, and Sera began making calls to all of our friends, alerting them of the event. I collapsed onto one of the padded chairs, holding my own stomach, staring at the door Ava was just brought into. Kaysha glanced at me, right after her call to the Vansons, and took a seat next to me,

"What's up, Luce?"

I shrugged, "Just hoping someone'll be bringing me to the hospital when my water breaks."

"Oh, we will, don't worry," My Brit friend gestured to our little posse.

"Maybe I should talk to Craig, right? I mean, he has to be a part of this."

"He's already missed most of it."

I was already dialing his number, putting it on speaker for Kaysha's sake. But, to both of our fright, a girl answered. I chucked my phone at the wall.

* * *

Danika and Lorelei.

Twins.

Ava gave birth to DEVIL SPAWNS. TWO OF 'EM! Well, technically, devil spawn-spawns, but there's hardly a difference. Danika is six minutes older than Lorelei, and set one of the nurses on fire - clearly taking after her father in terms of demonic powers. I think Lorelei takes more after her mother, as she...well, _didn't _kill anyone.

* * *

**Finally fucking FINISHED. Haha. Alliteration. **

**So...we'll hear of Ava's Baby Adventures more in the next chapter. I guess Lucy will be talking to Craig. And does anyone get the Craig's girlfriend thing? Hint numero uno - her name is Lacey Montoya. Hint numero dos - Craig's ex's name is Lucy Montgomery. **

**Threw in an Alice in Wonderland-alike in here. Anyone spot it? **

**Oh, and thanks for the kickass feedback with the baby names. Particulary **xMiss Universe**'s suggestion. Thank you :) **

**Kaysha Black:** xMiss Universe

**Kimberly Shao: **VioletMulatto

**Ivy Valmont:** Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera" Fabiano:** XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson:** JVM-150

**Baiii,**

**KB**


	38. Parental Units Are Scary, Lucille

"So, how're the babies?"

It was exactly two weeks after Ava had given birth to her twin girls, Danika and Lorelei, and exactly one week after Ava and Damien's wedding. It wasn't a huge ceremony like Ivy's, it was rather quiet. Only close and personal friends came, but it was still very romantic.

"Oh, they're fine. When Danika burps, a bit of fire comes out of her mouth instead of half-digested food...but other than that, fine." Ava sounded exhausted over the phone, but otherwise happy. She has hardly come out of her house. Man, those kids must be a handful...it seemed like Ava read my mind, because she added, "It's been easier, now that Damien spends a lot of time watching them. He shows them who's in charge while I go grocery and clothes shopping."

I smiled, "So strange...I feel like we were stupid, obnoxious teenagers just yesterday...anyway, I gotta go. I'm meeting with Clyde at the shoestore, and apparently, Craig will be showing up there. I'm finally gonna talk to him."

"Good for you, Luce," I could practically see the warm smile stretch across Ava's face, "See ya,"

* * *

"Hey, Clyde!" I waved to my friend, who sat on the counter of his shoe shop, playing a Gameboy. God, they still have those things?

He acknowledged me with a very brief wave and sat on the counter next to him, humming slightly. After five minutes I snatched his Gameboy and threw it in the wastebasket, "What's up?"

He gaped a bit at the now broken Gameboy in the trash can before swallowing thickly and shrugging, "No Craig, yet."

"He knows I'm here, right?"

"Yeah. He sounded pretty happy. He really wants to make up with you." We faced each other, sitting on the counter cross-legged,

"That's nice of him. I also want to meet this girlfriend of his you loathe so much."

He scoffed a bit and, as if on cue, the bell rang, and the Tucker boy sauntered in. I looked at him carefully as he approached us. He had horrible posture, as usual, very slouchy...a blunt expression on his face...nothing changed there. He flipped us both off. Nothing changed there either. I noticed a lot of scars dotting along his fingers and palms. I took them quickly, "Did I do this?"

"You threw a glass plate at my face. Held up my hands in defense. But I don't blame you."

I grinned at him, "You shouldn't, holmes."

He cleared his throat nervously, "Um, you got really big," He looked down at my large stomach, "Girl or boy?"

"I'm planning on being surprised. But there's two of 'em."

"Twins?"

"Obviously."

He nodded quickly at this before getting a serious expression again, "Look, Lucy," He took a deep breath, "I want things to work between us again. I'm the father of this baby...so I need to be responsible too. I'll be there every step of the way. I promise. I'll be there when your screaming your head off in the hospital bed."

I smiled, raising me eyebrows, "And when the babies are born? You'll be more than a father, right? You'll be a daddy?"

"Yes." He nodded, "Do you forgive me?"

"Of course, Craig! I don't hold grudges. You could've came to me months ago."

We joked around a lot, there was a bunch of hugging, and slight crying on my part, due to my mood swings. Clyde pulled us all into a giant group hug (he was bawling from happiness) After this, I punched Craig's shoulder, "So, you have a girlfriend now?"

"Yep. Lacey Montoya. Real doll. I think you'd like her."

"I want to meet her."

"You will."

* * *

Clyde and I went home after a few hours with hanging out with Craig. I couldn't say I was totally okay with Craig at the moment...after all, he got me pregnant...but anyway, I decided to stop by Kimi's place for a few words of wisdom. Just as I walked around the corner, I spotted Kimberly stepping out of her car, grabbing bags of groceries after unbuckling Jenny from her car seat. I chuckled, helping her with the groceries. Kimi shot me a worried look, "Should you be lifting heavy stuff?"

"Hey, this thing weighs like, fifteen pounds, I think I can take on another five."

My childhood friend laughed and we walked up to the door, where Jenny was waiting. As we entered the Cartman household, Eric hollered, "Where the fu-"

"CARTMAN!" Kimberly snapped, gesturing at Jenny angrily. Cartman fumed,

"We both knew as many curse words when we were her age..."

"Shut up," Kimi snapped and took a little bucket of colored chalk out of a small playbin near the door. She handed it to her daughter, "Here, Jenny, why don't you see if Jodi wants to draw on the sidewalk. Mommy and Daddy have to talk about grown-up things." Cartman turned red as his wife watched their daughter hop out of the house, two doors down to the Broflovski place. Man, Kim really knows how to kill her husband...sending their kid off to play with the offspring of a ginger and a Jew. I let out a low whistle.

Cartman restarted angrily, "WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN!?"

Kimi glanced at me, saying dryly, "You caught us at a bad time." She glared at her husband, "Cartman, it isn't my fault you keep waking up on the wrong side of the bed!"

"You've been out of this house since 10 in the fucking morning! I HAVEN'T EVEN HAVE BREAKFAST OR LUNCH!"

"Make your own damn food, you _fatass_!"

"Shaddup, you biracial bitch! Screw you gahs, a'hm outta here!" And, just as he had said, the man stormed out of his house, slamming the door closed behind him, leaving me confused and his wife breathing heavily. After a moment of silence, I began to figit nervously. Silences are things I usually break, 'cause they're rather uncomfortable. So therefore...

"So, er...trouble in paradise?"

Kimberly collapsed on her sofa, hugging herself, trying to calm down, "There's no way you can be in paradise with Eric Cartman."

I sighed, sitting next to Kimi, "Don't say _that_...remember your wedding? In _Italy_? I remember a bit of your vows: _Whatever lies ahead, good or bad, we will face together. Distance may test us for a time, and time may trie us. But if we look to each other first, we will always see a friend. _First of all, that was the part where I started crying. Second of all, that's very wise. Y'see, this is one of the bad times...and you'll just have to work it out. Together. Like you _vowed_."

Kimi seemed to ponder over this for a bit, before letting out a long groan, slouching down and whining, "I don't wannaaaa."

Still as stubborn as an ox.

* * *

After having a long talk with Kimberly, she decided to hunt down her husband and talk to him. I decided to go over to the Broflovski's house and see what the weds were up to. Jodi and Jenny were sitting by the curb, drawing with the chalk. I strolled into the house, taking a seat on the couch. Kyle was probably at work.

Ivy up the stairs, from the basement, carrying a big basket of laundry. She grinned at me, "You happy?"

"I guess. How could you tell?"

"You came in here singing 'Don't Stop Believing'."

I grinned, leaning back into the comfy sofa, "So, how are ya? Marriage going well?"

"Totally!" Ivy set down the basket, and started to fold clothes, "Yeah, a lot of pressure, I guess, but I'm really happy. I think Kyle is too. And Jodi has been behaving very well. She's been playing with John, Cartman, and Stan's kids a lot, it's really cute. John, Annie, Kaysha and Sera are coming over later for dinner. You think you can stay?"

"Sure. But Clyde would probably have to come too..."

Ivy nodded with a smile before starting with a new subject, "So, how's the baby?"

"Kicking like crazy. And I puked up dinner from two night's ago this morning, though. Not very pleasent. I needed about five gallons of brain bleach to erase that image..."

"Thank you for sharing."

"Hey! Pregnancy sucks. Er, sometimes. And the mood swings are horrible. I'm stark mad every day for, like...ever!"

Ivy snorted, rolling her eyes, "Remember when we were kids? Like, ten-years-old? You and me were the only girls in that whole damn baseball league. I was pitcher - you were shortstop. I remember my cousin was catcher, and Stan Marsh was a damn good batter. Kyle, I think, was a very poor outfielder. And you got angry every fucking game." I turned red at the memories, but Ivy still continued, "I remember - you would get so enraged because the team we were on _sucked _so much and you just wanted to win. You would throw your mitt at the person running from second to third base to slow 'em down. You tackled a few times, even. And you kicked another in the balls when he accidentally ran Cartman over while he slid home, then threw a trash can at him. So don't go on that you never get angry in your life."

I grinned, chuckling, "Yeah...I was a real Tanner Boyle on the field, wasn't I?"

Ivy didn't know what I was talking about, but she patted my back and went back to folding clothes. I examined the food in their fridge, finding nothing interesting - it was either veg-head crap, or Kosher stuff. After half an hour, Ivy sent me out to get some snacks, chips, and crap...and stuff I can actually eat without throwing up.

* * *

**I decided I would cut this a tad bit short, 'cause I want to test out the whole cliffhanger thing. I don't remember if I've used it or not. **

**So, I think I'm almost done with this story. I know I've said that a few times before, but I mean it now. **

**Kaysha Black:** xMiss Universe

**Kimberly "Kimi" Shao: **VioletMulatto

**Ivy Valmont:** Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera" Fabiano:** XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson:** JVM-150

**Oh, and internet ice-cream to anyone who knows who Tanner Boyle is. **

**Toodaloo :)**

**KB**


	39. Lucy to Lacey, Lucille

**The most filling-est filled ever.**

* * *

I walked down the aisles of the supermarket, face pulled into a pout. Some bratty kid just rammed me in the butt with a shopping cart. I know I shouldn't get angry, because I did that same things when I was a kid (well, I actually knocked people over), but when I get the tiniest bit annoyed, my new and improved (HA!) horomones decide I should go full-blast angry. Okay, easy does it...get a few snacks for Ivy, pay for them, and get out of here quickly.

Being the genius-with-ADD I am, I didn't pay attention to where I was going, and my cart bumped into someone else's. Just as I was about to yell at the person, a overly dramatic voice gasped, "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it! Are you okay?"

I brushed my (today they're a very deep purple) bangs out of my eyes, looking at the speaker. I blinked, staring at the woman before me. She looked my age, and had long black hair, the tips dyed a very deep purple. Her eyes were heavily circled with black eyeliner, emphasizing the bright brown in her irises. There was a brief silence between us until she shot out her hand for me to shake, a big smile spreading out across her face,

"My name is Lacey Montoya. I moved here a few weeks ago, from New Jersey."

I stared at her. This lady is Craig's girlfriend. I shook her hand.

"My name is Lucy Montgomery...I moved here when I was seven, from New York."

I had to pause. This girl seems familiar. Waaay to familiar. I paused, trying to remember where I've seen her...since nothing would come to mind, I asked, "You're Craig Tucker's girlfriend, aren't you?"

She nodded, "Yep. You know Craig?"

We started walking down the aisle as I explained, "Everyone in this town pretty much knows each other, since it's so small. But Craig's has been my friend since we were kids, along with Clyde, Tweek, and Token. Have you met them yet?"

Lacey nodded, "Yes, they're all very nice," She hummed a bit as we examined the snacks, before practically shouting "HEY!" and causing me to jump a bit. Lacey spun around to face me, her grin, if possible, even bigger, "You're the girl who's carrying Craig's baby! That's so cool!" She hugged me tightly. I raised an eyebrow, patting her back and with a clear of my throat, I said quietly,

"Lace, this probably isn't good for the baby."

She let go quickly and started going into baby talk. I wonder if I would get angry if my boyfriend was carrying another girls baby.

"Craig is a good boyfriend," I stated simply. It was partly true, I guess.

Lacey giggled, "Don't I know it."

Hey! That's my line.

'Course, it was then when I realized this girl is just like me.

* * *

The first person I contacted was Clyde,

"What do you want?" He sounded annoyed.

"Jeez, what's up your ass?"

"I'm at a chick's place. Make this quick, I'm in the bathroom and she's waiting."

I laughed dryly before continuing, "Why did you hate Craig's girlfriend?"

"Oh...er, she reminded me of someone."

"Who?"

"..."

"_Clyde_..."

"You! It was just way to creepy, alright?"

"I know, I just met her! Ugh, this is so messed _up_..."

"Tell me about it," Clyde agreed quickly, "Can I go now?"

"Yeah, yeah," I rolled my eyes, "Go score, bud."

We hung up on each other. Next, I called my own mother, Sally,

"Mom!"

"Honey, is that you?"

"Yes, Sally, it's me. May I ask how many kids you have?"

"Two. Do you need to see Doctor Julian again?"

"NO! Was I seperated at birth?"

"...no. Honey, what's going on?"

"I'll tell you later," I grumbled, hanging up.

Here's a quickly play-by-play: I realized Lacey is a lot like me, so I grabbed a bunch of chips, a giant Tolberone bar, and raced right out of that supermarket. Now I'm running down the street, carrying the stolen goods, trying to remember where Ivy's house is. This running is _so _not good for me.

I slowed my run to a stomp once I reached Ivy and Kyle's house. Kyle was the one who answered the door. I handed him the snacks, glanced over my shoulder for Barbrady's cruiser, and slammed the door behind me. He frowned, following me into the kitchen, "What's your problem?" I grabbed a glass, filling it with water. I took a sip before turning to Kyle,

"I met Craig's girlfriend. Lacey Montoya."

Kyle immitated a down whistle, "Clyde told me about her. He claims he's just like you,"

"I know! It's so creepy..."

Kyle patted my back, "Calm down, Luce, a bunch of the guys are going to the bar tomorrow night to watch the game. We'll ask Craig about Lacey, okay?" I smiled weakly at him, raising my eyebrows,

"...fine, Twizzlerhead. Let's go."

We entered the party, with our friends.

* * *

Bugs had always said it would come down to this. Mom says it's alright, unless I turn into a druggie. Dad will probably be surprised, but back up his wife. My friends always joked about this (Cartman actually threatened me about this). But it's true, now.

I'm a fucking hippie.

I just couldn't help it. Somebody must've spiked my drink or something, because I'm on a happiness-high. I have about a dozen sunflowers tied in my hair, dressed in a super-loose blouse and shorts, and eating a carrot, sitting in the middle of my apartment, drawing plans for a new shop. Yeah, I'm going to open a shop. I figured it would be a good time, since I'm now a hippie and all. And it'll be called L.U.C.Y. - thanks to Kaysha, Ivy, and Sera, who helped me with that. **L**ucy's **U**nique **C**reations for** Y**ou. It'll be incredibly poppin', since it's a jewelry/clothing store, and I'll be making all the merchandise myself.

"Hey hippie, what's up?"

Clyde strolled into our apartment, glancing at my store plans before grabbing a bag of chips from the cabinet and plopping down on the sofa. I greeted him with a peace sign (holding up two fingers), "Hey, baby, I've been having major cramps, but that's it." I nibbled on the vegetable I was eating, "Why do you need to know? Writing a book or somethin'?"

He snorted before eating a few chips, "So, cramps, huh? Anything serious?"

"Nah."

"Good. You're due in a few weeks, y'know."

"I know. I've already had my baby shower, so it's all good. I got about twelve irons, five little baby pajamas, twenty-two baby bottles and bibs, three baby strollers, a blender, 10 books of lullabies, and eight pairs of shoes so small they could fit on a bug."

My brown-haired friend shrugged, "Just that you've been acting real peaceful lately. Aren't women usually totally freaked by now?"

"It's been, like, crazy, man," I smirked. He shrugged, switching on the TV.

* * *

So, lately, my closest friend has been none other than Lacey Montoya. We have...well, a lot in common. But you probably figured that out already. Craig seems happy that his girlfriend and the girl he got pregnant are hanging out together. And by happy, I mean that he flips us off more. Lovely man, Craig is.

* * *

**No comment.**

**I don't even need to put down who owns which OC, do I? I didn't even use them in this chapter.**

**Whatever.**

**-KB**


	40. Oh, Shit, Lucille

"Hey, Lace."

"Hey, Luce."

I watched Lacey Montoya stroll into L.U.C.Y., my shop, that officially opened today. A lot of teens and a few kids have come in, saying how cool the shop is and buying a lot of clothes - also asking about my twins that are currently stomping my insides. I'm makin' money, though, which is super good. Maybe I can actually help pay rent this month. And, of course, my friends have dropped in during their breaks from their own work. I don't have breaks - I need to hire a few people, like Clyde does so he only needs to come into his shoe shop three days a week for like, four hours only.

Lacey grinned, handing me a wrapped parcel, "Since I met you after you had your baby shower, here you are,"

I put down the _Rolling Stone_ I was currently reading, smiling a bit as I took the box, "Aw, thanks, Lacey, you shouldn't have..."

Lace had gotten me a very cute supply of baby clothes. I giggled a bit. I'm gonna be a mommy too a pair of twins that I don't even know the genders of...and in that matter, the names. I still need to think of bloody names. Ava the Wise is convinced I should see what my babies look like before I name them. Oh well. I'll figure it out eventually.

"So, how's Craig?"

Lacey shrugged, smiling briefly, "It's been fun, being his girlfriend. He likes going out, doesn't he?"

I nodded, chewing gum as I went back to my magazine, "Yeah. It's his whole ego thing...he likes showing off."

"I'm telling him you said that!" Stan's voice called as he, Token, Kevin, and John entered my shop. I smirked at them,

"You better not, I'll kick your ass."

"Good luck with that."

I rolled my eyes, "What do you guys want? You were all in here this morning."

"Wendz is manning the office, so I decided to drop in. Token has like, a billion trillion people working for him, John has his day off, and Kevin here became a tag along." Mr. Marsh explained happily. I snorted in disbelief, flipping through the magazine again,

"Gimme a break. You guys are full of such shi-" I stopped mid-curse, eyes widening too the point of saucers. John poked my forehead before waving a hand in front of my face,

"Luce? Anyone home?" His jokey smile faded as I remained frozen, "What's goin' on?"

I swallowed, "I either just pissed my pants or..."

It was the well-mannered Token who snapped, "Aw, _shit_.", before getting every single one of our friends on the line, telling them to get to Hell's Pass.

Now.

* * *

Okay, I don't know what the other hippies are saying about childbirth being a positive, amazing experience. What shitheads. That was fucking PAINFUL. And y'know what? Kenny asked the wrong thing. He asked if it _hurt_. Son of a goddamn bitch, yes it hurt! But that's not how our little conversation went:

"Did it hurt?"

"Yes, Kenny, it did."

"How much?"

"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..."

"Like this?"

"A little more..."

"Like this?"

"No. A little more..."

"Like this?"

"Yes. Does that hurt?"

"A little bit."

"Now stretch it over your head."

Now everyone do that. See how it feels.

_REWIND TIME OH-SO-QUICKLY: I was rushed to the hospital, via Stan's car. By the time we got there, a few of our friends were actually already there, because Kenny died and needed to remove a knife from his heart or something...and more and more of our friends piled in, but I was rushed to the delivary room, 'cause I already dialated. I went through cramps, contractions, and finally the fucking pushing. God fucking damnit. You should've heard me, I was cursin' up a storm. Craig was with me, and I might've tugged his hand right out of it's socket, but he did pretty well, says the doctor. Very confident. When I was...well, y'know, finished with BOTH of the twins, I passed right out. _

* * *

**BWAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAAAAAA I leave you at a sort-of cliffhanger! AND THIS CHAPTER IS SO FUCKING SHORT!! I'm so evil!**

**Not.**

**Soooooo I really just wanted to get the pregnant thing over with. Heehee. So Lucy went into labor and everything, and now she's drowsily waking up, seeing Kenny (who asked her "if it hurt") and a few other friends. She has not seen her babies yet. Ooooh. They're twins, one girl the other boy. I already have a name for the girl twin, and now I need one for the boy twin...so go to my profile page, where I have a poll you HAVE to vote on. please :)**

**My cousin is helping me with the whole pregnancy thing, because she, y'know, has been through the whole 'procedure'.**

**Kaysha Black:** xMiss Universe

**Kimberly "Kimi" Shao: **VioletMulatto

**Ivy Valmont:** Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera" Fabiano:** XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson:** JVM-SP150

**OMG this story is almost done. That's so weeeird.** -_-

**Love, **

**KB**


	41. I'm Running Out Of Titles, Lucille

Well, my head felt like shit, that was for one...and, quite frankly, my whole body was in mega-super-ultra pain. I opened my eyes blearily, wincing at the bright lights and loud voices. As soon as my senses worked correctly again, I noticed bright blue eyes and messy blond hair first.

Kenny.

He grinned, "Hey! Your awake! We thought you died, or something. Kaysha broke into tears."

I groaned in response. He raised his eyebrows, "What?" He frowned a bit, "Did it hurt?"

I whacked him over the head, sitting up abruptly, "Yes, Kenny, it did!"

"How much?"

"Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..."

"Like this?"

"A little more..."

"Like this?"

"No. A little more..."

"Like this?"

"Yes. Does that hurt?"

"A little bit."

"Now stretch it over your head."

Kenny pouted, crossing his arms as laughter rose. I looked around, noticing how many people were in the room - My sister and all of my friends, as well as a few nurses. My little conversation attracted everyone's attention, as they rushed over to me. But I didn't care about them (at the moment),

"Where're my babies?"

Bugs answered quickly, "The doc went to go clean your inside nastiness off them...Craig, Mom, and Dad went too."

I nodded slowly, rubbing my wrists nervously, "Five fingers and toes, right? No deformations?"

"A-okay, Luce," Token announced, giving me two thumbs up.

I burst out into laughter, "Sweeeeeeet." As I continued on with my laughing fit, voices started to arise, while a few other people stared at me in awe and/or happiness.

"Did they drug her with somethin'?"

"Someone get the doc,"

"Someone get her parents,"

"Someone get Craig!"

"Hey, is hospital food good?"

"_I'll _get the doctor, Luce's parents, and Craig..."

**Clyde's POV**

"_I'll _get the doctor, Luce's parents, and Craig..." I announced, walking out of the delivery room. I'm just glad this night is almost over. Waiting in that damn room, crowded by friends - listening to Luce scream her guts out. Craig got to go in there with her. Poor girl. I found Craig and the Montgomerys staring through a clear window that led into a room full of baby cribs. Craig was real quiet, frowning a bit, and Mrs. M was crying (from happiness, obviously), with Mr. M trying to comfort her. I took a place next to Craig,

"Which ones are Lucy's?"

He pointed to the ones closest to the window. I smiled softly. They were cute babies, resembling both their parents. I glanced at Craig, "Whatcha thinking about?" My closest friend shrugged helplessly, still quiet. I sighed, crossing my arms, looking back at the twins. I'm happy for both of my friends - they have kids now. Even though they were by accident, and Luce and Craig aren't married, or dating. Lucy lives with me, and Craig has a girlfriend. Jeez. This is pretty fucked up. I took a deep breath,

"She's awake."

Mrs. Montgomery was gone in a second to see her daughter, Mr. Montgomery on her tail, while Craig alerted the doc, who got nurses to bring the twins.

**Lucy's POV**

I tried to not die under Mom's massive hug, as she sobbed into my shoulder with happiness. She had always wanted to be a grandmother. Finally, Dad mentioned I must be in even more pain, so Mom eased up, still sniffling as she fingered a few curls. I looked at her closely. The red curls were as fiery as ever, but she was getting wrinkly. I sighed.

Clyde returned with Craig, who went over to me quickly to ask if I was feel alright? I said 'yes, of course I am, do you think I'm a wimp!?' and he grinned like the idiot he is. But I remembered - he was very brave, and surprisingly calm during my delivery. More points to the C-man. And then entered the doc, and following him were two nurses - one carrying a blue bundle and the other carrying a pink one. A boy and a girl. Twins. _My_ twins.

I was given my babies, and everyone suddenly hushed, huddling around my bed to get a good look. My heart swelled immediatly, staring at the quiet, pink faces. The first one - the boy in the blue blanket - had a lot of hair, already. It started out black from the roots, but quickly went bright blonde. Blonde? Oh yeah, Craig's mom is a blonde. The second one - the girl in the pink blanket - also had hair. Black, with a few blonde wisps. Their faces were identical, though, with very light purple eyes. I'm sure, as they grow older, their eyes would darken to Craig's color. Before I knew it, happy tears were starting to gush out of practically everyone's eyes but my own. And Craig's. He was staring at my - our - twins in awe. He slowly looked at me, "Names?"

I looked at the girl twin, deciding on the spot, "Sally. Sally is nice."

At this point, Mom - Mrs. Sally Montgomery - was totally bawling, leaning against Dad for support. I smiled softly, looking at the boy twin. I looked at his wild blonde hair and big eyes. And it sort of clicked from there.

"Tweek."

Everyone turned to the older Tweek, who twitched in surprise. Tweek has always held a special place in my heart anyway, he deserves it...am I right?

So, my precious, adorable twin babies were born that day - April 1st...Tweek and Sally.

* * *

**I found this whole chapter cheesy and corny XD**

**Thanks very much for those who voted on my poll :) It helped bunches. And holy shiyzah I switched POVs. Hahahaa. OCs, again, I didn't use, and I feel horrible for it. But they shall play a big part in the next chapter, you'll see. Oh, and I've finally decided - two or three more chapters. Then I'm DONE. **

**Kaysha Black:** xMiss Universe

**Kimberly "Kimi" Shao: **PixiDreads

**Ivy Valmont:** Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera" Fabiano:** XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson:** JVM-SP150

**Love, **

**KB**


	42. Goddamnit, Lucille

**I had a longer chapter then this, y'know. But it got deleted. Damn. And I'm a lazy bitch and don't feel like writing a new one...but I love it all the same.  
**

* * *

And then you'll never guess what happened next.

So, after I named the my twins and everything, they were both passed around the room to be cooed and giggled at. Craig and my parents held the two the longest, Clyde was incredibly clumsy about it, Token was in a happy silence, Tweek was jittery - but didn't drop them, Stan and Wendy were amazed, Ivy was at the verge of tears of happiness, Kyle was grinning rather insanely, Ava had that very warm/motherly smile on her face, Damien didn't care, Kaysha wouldn't stop saying stuff in a baby voice, Sera was jumping up and down with excitement, John and Annie were stunned and happy at the same time, Bugs was super-excited to be an aunt, Cartman was trying not to smile, and...

Kimi.

This is where the excitement begins.

As she pestered Cartman - should I start to call him Eric by now? - to hand over my twins so she could properly see them, I could already sense something weird was going to happen. I watched closely as Cartman carefully handed over Sally and Tweek (jr.) to his pregnant wife, who smiled in such a serene way. I was touched.

Then suddenly, she gave out a whimpering sound and she suddenly bent over. Kaysha and Sera took the babies from her as Kimberly held her sides, mentioning cramping a lot. And then she finally uttered,

"My water broke."

Eric Cartman took charge, picking up his wife, running right outta there. A bunch of people followed, some other people looked like the couldn't decide if they should follow Cartman and Kimberly, or stay with me, and some others just stood here, rooted.

I blinked as Sally and Tweek (jr.) were passed on to me. Kimi was going to be going into labor soon, and I just finished up. Now what? Craig, Token, Tweek, Clyde, Bugs, Ike, and my parents were looking at me hesitantly. I stared back at them, then handed the twins to Mom and Dad, then looked up at my lifelong friends, "Well, there's no way I'm getting out of this bed. Do you think it'll fit through the doorway?"

* * *

"Thank God this thing has wheels," Token huffed as I whooped excitedly, Craig, Clyde, Tweek, and Token running down the hall, rolling my hospital bed along with them. My parents, Bugs, and Ike were ahead of us, directing us where to go. Eventually, after getting lost a few times and going down an escalator (then back up again) we found Kimberly's room. She was only dilating at the moment, so we were allowed to be with her for now. She look at me curiously,

"You are insane, you know."

"Yeah, well..." I shrugged.

* * *

**Yayyy, Kimi has more baybehs. Next chapter will be the last...it'll be sort of an epilogue, wrapping everything up. But hey, I'm writing a new bloody OC story 'cause I can't get enough of it! WOO-HOO! **

**Yeah, I know, I'm a loser. fuck off -__-  
**

**So, if you want ANYTHING at all to happen to your OC, just tell me now. Did they die or something? Just say it, 'cause I'm loosin' my mojo. I'm bored of this story already! Jesus.  
**

**Kaysha Black:** xMiss Universe

**Kimberly "Kimi" Shao: **PixiDreads

**Ivy Valmont:** Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera" Fabiano:** XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson:** JVM-SP150

**Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to say all fifty states in less than a minute (kudos to those who know what I mean),**

**Love, **

**KB**


	43. I Love Lucy

**I think I'll put the A/N at the top of this last chapter, just for a change. So...last chapter. Last bit of this whole, big-ass story. And I'm sure there are going to be many OC stories longer than this, that will have more reviews, and will probably be more well-loved, but I'm mighty proud of this story. Yes, that's a good moral...no matter what, be proud of your work. Hey, that does sound good! Anyway, I'm using this author's note as a note of THANKS to my reviewers, every single fucking one of ya! I know this sounds a bit corny, but you guys have really helped me complete this story! And, if I'm not mistaken, I believe this is the first OC South Park story that has been completed. I just realized how bloody long this story is. Did you know it took me, like, a bit more than half a year to write? I feel horrible! Half a year wasted!? Jesus! But no, it twas not wasted, I really enjoyed writing this story. **

**What's next for me? Finish up my other OC story (I have that one all planned out), and then retire to my 100 oneshot challenge. No big.**

**Very much love from,**

_Kootie Bomb_

**

* * *

**

"You are a shining star, no matter who you are! Shining bright to see what you can truly be...that you can truly be!" I sang along with Earth Fire & Wind, using my toothbrush as a microphone. Yes, I'm 28 and I'm using my toothbrush as a fake microphone. Is there a problem? Obviously, some people are annoyed.

"Mom, shut up!" Thing 1  
"Yeah, you're such a loser!" Thing 2

I whipped around, poking my head out of my bathroom, hollering after my dear little children who had just run by, "I'll have you know that 'Shining Star' is a CLASSIC, you _imbeciles_! YOU'LL NEVER KNOW THE MEANING OF CLASSIC!"

Clyde Donovan ran past the bathroom as well, calling over his shoulder, "Give it up, Luce!" Huh. Tweek and Sally must've stolen his boxers again. Poor guy.

I stuck my tongue out at him and finished brushing my teeth that lovely Thursday morning, switching off the radio after freshening up. The crowd in the Donovan apartment is always awake early. It's 6 in the morning, currently.

It's been five years since I've given birth to Tweek (jr.) and Sally. And I'm thankful to say, the drama has finally died down. Well, it's not completely drama-less...this _is _South Park, y'know. There's the occasional fight between friends, and of course, the kids are little monsters terrorizing the city. Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman still even go on their insane little adventures. So it's never boring.

I wiped my face off with a towel, walking down the hallway, towards the kitchen in search of food. I still live in Clyde's apartment, but I help pay rent now, since I run my shop. Since Clyde and I both own our own businesses, we have a lot of money, that we spend mighty recklessly. We expanded the apartment to a studio with three floors, the the kids have somewhere to sleep and stuff. They stay over at Craig's a lot, as do I.

I shrieked, jumping back, as the window next to me smashed, courtesy of a fucking rock. I blinked, staring at the shattered glass, before walking over to the broken window, looking out of it. Craig waved up to me cheerfully. I shook my fist at him in a rather comical way, "You INCONSIDERATE BASTARD!"

"Bitch!" He hollered back up at me, and entered the building doors. I groaned, starting to pick up the glass. Luckily, there were no tiny pieces, just big shards of it. I dumped them near the trash and started to make breakfast for everyone, looking quickly at the refrigerator to see who was coming this morning. Let's see...Craig, he's already on his way up...Sera, she's always sleeping in late, so she'll come later...Kaysha, she just got back from that show down in Denver, I think...and Kenny, who always needs food, even though he actually has money now. So, eight people this morning. Yes, people leave notes on the fridge telling me if they're coming for breakfast/lunch/or dinner, because it's always a bitch when people show up unexpected. Actually, the whole fridge is covered in sticky notes. People just write them at random.

You might've figured this out already, but Craig and I aren't married. We're not dating either. I would call us a couple though, because we have a lovely, deep care for each other and love one another very much. And we have sex. And _that's _all that matters ;) No, but really, we love each other, we had our kids together, but we're the farthest thing from a married couple. We're very content this way. What happened to Lacey, you asked? Craig quietly let her down, explaining he needed to take care of yours truly. She took it surprisingly well and moved back to Jersey anyway. And Essie? She's in the South Park Asylum for now.

"Tweek, Sally, you little mongrels! Get your asses out here and set the table for eight! And for God's sake Clyde," I slapped my forehead, "Get some underwear!"

Thing 1 (that's Tweek jr.) hopped into the kitchen first, smiling as usual, grabbing eight plates and forks. He has very similar hair to Tweek's, but that's just because I blow-dry it like that. It's a very dirty blonde color, and stuck up like it was hit with static.

Thing 2 (that would be Sally) came in seconds after, grabbing eight bowls and spoons. Her hair is also pretty wild, and the same color as her twin's, but it's slightly more tame and long than his.

They're very twin-like...they wear matching colors, if not matching clothes (matching blue night shirts this morning), and they talk in unison, and have that freaky twin telepathy thingie. They have matching pilot goggles too, the ones with yellow-tinted lens. They used to be my dad's when he was a mechanic and everything. I think it's cute that my kids wear them, only around their necks, though, occasionally around their foreheads. Both of them are pretty skinny, which worries me a lot, but the doctor says it's just because they're very active. And they are. They hardly ever stop moving. They started whispering to each other, all giggly, and I glared, "Wipe those shit-eating grins off your face, and get glasses and the pitcher. Let your dad in when the doorbell rings, then kick him, he broke another window. I gotta find a pair of boxers for Clyde."

I rolled my eyes as they called in unison, "We didn't take them, it was the underpants gnomes!"

I grabbed a pair of boxers from the washer, chucking it at the butt-naked Clyde, who was currently roaming the halls, and when I got back to the kitchen, the kids were attacking their father, who had just came through the door. I smirked, starting to make pancakes, as Things 1&2 sat Craig down. Clyde walked into the kitchen, finally in his boxers, scratching his head tiredly. He nodded to Craig, who flipped him off.

As if on cue, the door burst open again, and the ever-so-handsome Kenneth McCormick, strolled through the door, Sera and Kaysha on his tail. The blonde man threw his hands into the air happily, "We're here to fuck some shit up!

Sera pumped a fist, "Where do we start!?"

Kaysha rolled her eyes good-heartedly, commenting gently on the two maniacs next to her, "Mo'fos."

"Well put, Kaysha!" I praised cheerfully, "Now, what kind of pancakes does everyone want? We got blueberry, chocolate chip, banana - for Christ's sake, Tweek! Stop stabbing the electric outlet with a knife!" I glared at my son before listing off the other pancake options. I had to make about five batches, since Clyde, Craig, Kenny, Tweek (jr.), and Sally are all little hungry shits and stuff...

"Hey, Kay, how was the show? Any cash?" Sera piped up, adjusting her fedora as she headed towards the cabinets. Sera has been good. She's still pretty short, though. Currently, I'm sure, she's been spending a lot of time with Kenneth, who has no objections. Those two are very cutely perverted to each other, it's amusing when they talk all dreamy-like about each other. In any case, they might just be fuck buddies, but they do have a big care for each other. She's job-searching at the moment, and bunking at Kenny's place. She might just end up living there, like I do at Clyde's.

"Yeah...it wasn't a big show, but the manager was some rich dude and I got a lot of tips. So I can pay this month's bills and actually have some money left over," My brunette friend replied happily. Kaysha has been content with her life. She's really been getting more and more famous with every show she does. Kay is a singer/dancer, and VERY good at it, I'm happy to report. She's still our single pringle, and I think she's happy that way. She's still the same bubbly, random Kaysha on the inside. She's flexible enough to be in Cirque du Soleil, and good enough to be a Rockette in New York. It's pretty fun to have a star as a friend. But we all sort of suspected it.

As I got out the rest of the ingredients for the pancakes from the fridge, I noticed another note. I smiled and called over my shoulder, "Guys, Ava and Damien are coming back from Hell, today!"

The note said they'd be stopping by with Danika and Lorelei this morning...y'see, Damien and Ava go visit Damien's father every few months, and therefore, they must go to Hell. I'm pretty sure Ava is used to it by now, though, as are the twins.

And speak of the devil (spawn)...

There was a quiet knock on the door, which the twins opened, and Danika and Lorelei hopped through the door. The Thorn twins are only a few weeks old then my own twins, and they are very close friends with each other, with the fact they're close in age and they're both a set of twins. Tweek (jr.) and Sally are each others best friends, but after Sally, Tweek's best friend is probably Jenny Cartman, who is only a few months older then him. And after her brother, Sally's best friend might be Andrew Vanson, who is already a few years older then her. It's a weird big brother/little sister relationship between those two.

Speaking of more people we knows, the Vansons and Cartmans decided to enter after Ava and Damien. I scowled, warning the families that had just came in, "Hope you people already ate, 'cause I'm not making food for you guys." Cartman was busy trying to drag Jenny away from Tweek (jr.), so Kimi rolled her eyes at her husband, turning to me,

"Don't worry, Luce, I made them breakfast. They have to get to school, though, soon."

"Right-o, Kim. Hey, Andrew, can you drive yet?"

"I'm only fifteen!"

"Close enough. Take the van," I chucked the teenager the keys to my van. My old Cadillac has retired. He's in the garage. I polish him every now and then, for old times sake. But I have one of those old-fashioned, big-ass vans, like the Mystery Machine or something. It's blue in color, with a bunch of graffiti on it from friends around town. According to Cartman, it's the Hippie-Mobile.

Hm...anyway, onward to the Thorn Family. Damien is still all devil-spawny, and everyone is basically scared of him still, but we sort-of-kind-of got used to him, thanks to Ava. I suppose you could call Damien a good father. He keeps his children in order, he's very strict about them. Danika, as she was when she was a baby, takes after her father...y'know, setting things on fire, randomly exploding random stuff, having mood swings (I'm sure it'll get worse when she goes into puberty)...and Lorelei is a bit more quieter than her sister. She has the Ava-touch, a maternal instinct. Neither of them are really mature/responsible, seeing as they're only five, but I think Lorelei would be the one who would have to keep Danika in order. Ava is doing fine, as well. She's a stay-at-home mom. She still has that funny, crude, rather morbid sense of humor, but, y'know, she's Avarice. Avarice - one of the seven deadly sins, if you didn't know. And she's married to the _devil's spawn_. What did you expect?

The Cartmans! Woo-hoo! And damn, did they have a shitload of kids...okay, not really. After Jenny, there's Bobby, Ashley, and Danny. Bobby takes after Cartman INCREDIBLY. He up to become the asshole of South Park. Eric seems proud of him, much to Kimberly's dismay. Ashley is a very quiet kid. I think she might become Goth, eventually, as she grows older. She doesn't seem to like her father very much, and he's constantly taking it out on Kimi and I. It gets pretty funny, after a while. And then finally, Danny, the cute little toddler. He looks very much like Cartman, but is such a sweet person, taking after Kimi, of course. He clings to his mother, but follows his father around a lot as well. Cartman is finally living out his childhood dream - he's becoming rich. He's been taking over many companies in every country and opening new businesses and stuff like that. But for some reason, he just can't seem to leave our little mountain town of South Park. But he did expand his house into a mansion. Token, though, is still the richest guy I know. And Kimi? She works part time now, since she has four kids running around and everything. But they're a big, frazzled, active, huge, nice ol' Cartman family.

And HALLELUJAH the angels have come! John Vanson, once more, is John Robert Vanson! The Johnnycakes, Mister J at your service. Over the years, we've managed to knock some sense into him. Living in South Park warps your brain a bit...and when he went to college, it de-warped his brain to normality, which is the most horrible thing in the world. So we warped his brain again. Bwahahahahaha. Anyway, he's that dad that everyone likes because he's such a care-free dad. Not a care-free dad like Randy Marsh, he makes sure his kids, Andy and Katherine, stay in order or he'll, like, take away their game station or whatever those freaks-who-call-themselves-teenagers do these days. Annie, little shy Annie, has become surprisingly outgoing, thanks to John. Like Ava, Annie is a housewife, staying at home to clean, knit, or something along those lines. She has a very deep care for her family and protects them well. The Vansons: that family that's very happy, perky, etcetera, etcetera. In other words, the family that's awesome to be around.

And where are the lovely Broflovskis? On another fucking business trip, I say! Kyle works for this big company (with Stan, since those two are still Super Best Friends Forevveerrrr) that's owned by Cartman (ironic, right?) and he gets sent on thousands of business trips like, every week. And he brings his family along for the ride. This week, I believe, it's somewhere in the Caribbean. So, Kyle is still my favorite Twizzlerhead. The whole family comes over to Clyde's apartment and I make margaritas while the kids frolic and stuff. Jodi is becoming a very nice young lady. She, of course, inherited red hair from both her mother and father ("A total family of Jewish, vegetarian, GINGERS!" says Cartman), and has the same mannerisms as Kyle (sweet, and a bit skeptic) and sarcasm from Ivy. Very book-smart, that girl is. Ivy is very proud of her family, and does a very good job at keeping them together, and an even better job of keeping Shelia at bay. Y'see, Shelia Broflovski wanted her son to marry a nice, sweet, delicate little Jewish lady, and Ivy is practically the opposite of that. So Shelia isn't the friendliest mother-in-law to Ivy. It becomes amusing, too.

Did I miss anybody? No, I don't believe I did...so onward!

"Hey, mom, Tweek and Token are here!" Tweek (jr.) hollered, as, indeed, Tweek Tweak and Token Black strolled through the doorway. Tweek had a swimsuit on instead of his usual jeans. I blinked in surprise, and glanced out the window. A grin spread across my face,

"HEY, IT'S SUNNY OUTSIDE!"

I shoved the bowl of pancake batter into Kenny's hands, grabbed Tweek by the arm, "WE GOTTA TAN!"

This is my latest mission - giving Tweek a tan. Seriously, that boy needs sun! It'll do him good, it'll calm him the fuck down! So whenever South Park is miraculously warm and sunny, I bring Tweek up to the roof of the apartment building, set out a couple of lawn chairs, get into our bathing suits, and tan. Well, Tweek does this all involuntarily, he doesn't see the need to tan. I do, though, so it's like force-tanning. I paused in my drag-Tweek-to-the-roof mission and glanced back into the kitchen, "Would anyone like to join us?"

Token, Clyde, and Craig glanced at each other, shrugged, getting up, "Sure."

* * *

So there we were, five life-long friends, sitting on a roof, Tweek and I in our bathing suits, Token, Clyde, and Craig in their boxers, letting the sun beat down on us. Each of us had a Budweiser. Yep, beer for breakfast, the best thing ever.

There was a small clatter as the roof door burst open and my children raced over to me, saying as one, "Hey, Lucille, Andy is driving us to school now, okay? He says not to sue if he crashes the van."

I raised my eyebrows, sitting up a bit, "Did you just call me Lucille?"

Sally raised an eyebrow, "That is your name, right?"  
Tweek (jr.) glanced at his twin, "Well, it could've been Lucinda, or something. Lucy can be a nickname for a lot of things."

I rolled my eyes, laying back down against the lawn chair, "My name is Lucille. I don't like my name."

My children shrugged and hopped back downstairs, slamming the door behind them. Token raised his beer as a toast, "Nicely said, Luce."

"Nicely said," Craig, Clyde, and Tweek echoed (Tweek throwing a bit of a stutter in there, though).

I grinned, repeating, "My name is Lucille. I don't like my name," I raised my beer as well, "Call me Lucy."

* * *

_So totally NOT_** The End. **

* * *

**Kaysha Black:** xMiss Universe

**Kimberly "Kimi" Shao: **PixiDreads

**Ivy Valmont:** Cartooncutie16

**Serafina "Sera" Fabiano:** XNao.

**Avarice "Ava" Cullen:** Kalika Barlow

**John Robert Vanson:** JVM-SP150


	44. lol

Oh, and I don't think I've said this through this whole story, but...

I seriously don't own South Park. Seriously.


End file.
